


Living in Open Wounds

by LanternJawedStudmuffin



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - 2000s, Anal Sex, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Consent Issues, Coping, Crimes & Criminals, Drag Queens, Drug Abuse, Drug Dealing, Drug Withdrawal, Drug-Induced Sex, Established Relationship, Extortion, F/F, Fight Sex, Fist Fights, Forced Prostitution, Friendship/Love, Gun Violence, HIV/AIDS, Hallucinogens, Heavy Angst, Heroin, Homelessness, Lesbian Sex, M/M, Multi, Multiple Plotlines, Oral Sex, Organized Crime, Overdosing, Poverty, Prostitution, Rimming, Sex Swing, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, White Collar Crime
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 07:39:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 107,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11077047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LanternJawedStudmuffin/pseuds/LanternJawedStudmuffin
Summary: They are what happens when runaways and drop outs grow up. They are the thieves, the artists, the dealers, the strippers, and prostitutes. They are the ones with positive status, track marks up their arms, and not a dollar in their pockets. In this city where lives are bought and sold, they find each other, seeking a reason to survive.





	1. Axel, Sora, Kairi; Riku, Roxas

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of things we want to note about this story!
> 
> 1\. Axel is not being written as a trans character. While we love depictions of transgender characters, that's not what we're doing in this story in particular. He identifies as male, but has a drag persona.  
> 2\. We opened a poll about which story (of the few we have planned) we should write next, and popular opinion was that we should destroy you guys emotionally. We hope this story delivers on that, but we also ask you to try to stick with it, even when things seem hopeless! We have a very set direction we're going in, and we think that you guys will enjoy it even when the plot gets rough. Trust us!
> 
> We're going to be posting new chapters every Monday, and comments/kudos spur us on!

He needed a drink. Before that, though, Sora needed clothes.

The bass thrummed under his bare feet, creating an oppressive feel to the tiny back room. There was clothing everywhere, but none of it was his. Sora hadn't thought to bring something easy to get into post-show, and he wasn't comfortable in the tiny shorts he'd stripped down to onstage. If he could have removed them, he would've; they were restrictive and left embarrassingly little to the imagination, but they were also the only clothes he still had back here.

Next time, he'd remember to bring some of his own shorts, and a t-shirt. For the time being, he took a ratty violet dressing gown off its hook and settled into it. The bar patrons wouldn't look twice at him for the unusual fashion choice, and hopefully Kairi wouldn't mind him borrowing it.

Slipping out the 'Staff Only' door, Sora made a beeline for the bar, dodging drunk guests and ignoring his coworkers as they teased the crowd with flashes of skin. There was a tall person making the drinks who was just as eye-catching as the strippers, with fire engine red hair and tiny black stars scattered from the corner of glitter-lined green eyes. As Sora made his way over, the short leather skirt rode up over the bartender's fishnets and damn near gave everyone nearby a peek in the process of restocking the mini fridge.

“Saph!” Sora waved for attention, and got it quickly. Axel straightened up and grabbed a rag, wiping down the bar on the way over to his best friend and roommate.

“You are _shaking_ ,” he observed, leaning against the bar. He spoke in a higher register when he was in drag, one that could have convincingly helped him pass for a woman in everyday life if that was how he'd identified. “Either you're buzzed as hell or still nervous.”

“I'm not buzzed at _all_. That's the problem.” Sora had ordered a couple of drinks even before the bar opened up to patrons, but he sure wasn't feeling them.

Arching a perfectly tweezed brow, Axel grabbed a glass. “How hard should I hit you?”

With a bit of a pout, Sora asked, “What d'you usually give people who want to forget this night ever happened?”

“ _I_ don't give them anything, but I knew a few nice gentlemen who've been banned from coming in here that could help.”

“Wasn't thinking quite _that_ hard.”

Axel made the drink a double and put it down right in front of him. “See if this helps,” he said, and leaned forward to fuss with a spiky strand of Sora's hair. “It'll get easier.”

“Thanks.” Sora lifted his head up to lean into his hand. “That's what Kairi keeps telling me.”

“She's right. And you _know_ I'll keep you liquored up until it's easy.”

Sora picked up his drink and took a sip. It was bitter and made him cringe. “Did you see it at all?”

“I have pretty much the best view in the house. Keeps the customers close to the booze.”

“Not sure if that makes me feel better or more embarrassed,” Sora groaned, and took a bigger swig.

“Hey – go easy on that,” Axel warned.

“Just tryin' to relax...” Sora set the glass down anyway, for Axel's sake.

“I know, but a drunk stripper is something these people watch for.”

“Aw, you'd watch out for me.”

“Of course I would, but if I have to scrape the smashed remains of some guy's testicle off my stiletto, I won't be happy with you.”

Sora had heard all sorts of colorful language out of Axel before, and more still since deciding to work at the Kingdom Hearts Bar and Strip Lounge. Still, he blushed. “Would it be the first time?”

Axel grinned. “The first time in these particular heels, yes.”

“Oh. Okay. I'd feel kinda bad about that.”

There were cheers and whistles behind Sora, and he knew what they were for. Out of respect, he did not turn around to see Kairi's entrance onto the stage, and drank more steadily.

“Damn right you would, these were expensive,” Axel remarked. He twirled a loose strand of his hair.

“That why we're going to lose our electricity by next week?” Sora smiled to let Axel know he was teasing, but the concern was real.

“... They make my ass look _fantastic_. These babies will pay for our water bill, at the very least,” Axel said, avoiding the question. Sora just laughed quietly, the alcohol starting to quell some of his shaking at last.

“Oh well. Next month I should have enough money to cover it. Maybe I'll buy you something for covering rent.”

“Don't even worry about it. Unless I'm out of eyeliner, then get me the good stuff.” Axel shot a look over Sora's shoulder, watching Kairi's leg hook around the pole to support her bending over backwards, pushing her exposed breasts together with both hands. When Axel looked, Sora followed suit.

“How can she be so natural?” Sora looked away with a hot face. “She's the same age as me...”

“She's been doing this longer. And you're still... You know.”

“Still... what?” Sora blinked.

“... You're just a _little bit_ of a virgin. Even though you aren't one,” Axel informed him.

Sora grinned. “Well, you should know. Can I work that angle, d'you think?”

“That might be worth trying. You know what they say, everyone _loves_ a virgin.”

“Not a _guy_ virgin, though.”

“This is a different world,” Axel insisted. “A world where boys and girls can take off their clothes and dance for money on equal ground.”

Sora dared to take another look at Kairi, who was slipping a bill into the band of her thong. She was almost finished with her routine.

“... Guess I'm still not used to it,” he confessed, and finished his drink.

“You will be. Or you'll find another job before that has to happen.” Axel's preference was clear. He'd tried to take on an amount of work that he legally shouldn't, trying to cover their bills while Sora sought a new job. He hadn't wanted Sora to be a part of the city's seediest industry.

Sora hadn't wanted to be, either, but he wanted to be homeless even less.

The thought reminded him of something, and his grin faded. “... I'm worried about Kairi...”

“What about her?”

Sora traced the rim of his glass, sighing. He wasn't supposed to tell Axel yet, but he'd never been the best at keeping secrets. “She's seriously thinking about taking the job with Xigbar...”

Axel's eyes widened. “Oh, no. _Hell_ no. I'm putting a ban on that, that guy is _scum_.”

“That's what I keep _trying_ to tell her, but she just keeps saying that even if she stripped twenty-four-seven, the pay still wouldn't be enough.”

“If she's getting desperate, we can put her up for a while,” Axel suggested.

“I'll let her know, but I don't think that's the problem.”

They both knew what the problem was.

Axel's sigh was a little more dramatic than it would've been in he hadn't been in drag. He tended to exaggerate his gestures whenever he was 'in costume'. “Xigbar won't help her.”

“No, but he'll pay her,” Sora groaned, expression strained. He sank onto the bar when Axel took his empty glass to rinse out.

“She should still know how dangerous it is. Stripping here is one thing – we've got Xaldin at the door.”

“She says they've got some kinda protection system going on, but I dunno. I never wanted to look into it.”

“Damn right, you didn't. If I heard you were considering it, I'd be forced into rash action.” Axel set aside the glass. Under the counter, his beeper had started to chime intermittently.

“No way!” Sora shook his head. “I can barely take people _looking_ at me, up there.”

Stripping for people was one thing; sleeping with them for money was quite another.

They were joined by Kairi a moment later, and she was almost unrecognizable with her hair up and in the clothing Sora had earlier discarded on-stage. She automatically scanned Axel with faint dismay, always a little jealous of how good he managed to look despite living in the same pathetic income bracket. “Hey! Sorry I'm late. _Some_ one stole my robe.”

Axel tutted at Sora, beeper in hand to turn off his alarm. “One moment, I'll fix you a drink once I procrastinate dying.”

Sora squirmed. He still wasn't used to Axel joking about... that. “It was all that was there. I wasn't gonna come out here naked!”

“Might've got you tips,” Kairi teased. “Make another for Sora, too. I want to celebrate his first night!”

Axel took a swig of water, swallowing his pills. “Coming up, and _speaking_ of coming...”

“Hm?” Kairi crossed her legs and got comfortable.

“Xigbar.” Axel's tone was serious as he mixed a couple of rum and cokes. “You aren't seriously considering working for him, are you?”

Kairi threw Sora a _very_ accusing look. “Yes, though that wasn't something I wanted everyone to know.”

Sora shrank. “I only told because I'm worried!”

“And I'm not 'everyone',” Axel chimed in.

“Everyone who matters, I mean,” Kairi amended, no less sharp.

“Flattery will get you everywhere when Xigbar isn't involved.”

Pounding bass and the rumble of chatter around them became almost suffocatingly present as each of them tried to think of what to say next.

“... Nami knows, right?” Sora asked, gently.

Kairi stared at the bar. “I don't like to talk about that stuff when she's lucid enough to talk.”

“ _Kairi!_ ”

Axel whistled low, shaking his head and sliding them both their drinks. Kairi didn't yet touch hers.

“It's not like I haven't done it before, when things got desperate. I'd just rather it have some insurance,” she argued.

“But Xigbar's a _creep_ ,” Axel grimaced.

“Duh. But he's a creep I'd rather have on my side than against me. I'd be in way worse trouble if I took business away from him.”

“So how about you just don't sleep around for money?” Axel suggested with a note of pleading. “That's how you get hurt. Or worse.”

“It pays the best. You think I won't be safe about it?”

“There is no 'one hundred percent safe', Kairi,” he countered.

“I know that...”

Axel inhaled, already knowing the fight was lost. He couldn't just tell her _not_ to go work at the brothel; one of the worst things about Kairi's stubbornness was how it could rear its head when told not to do something. “ _Try_ to think of an alternative?”

“Girls only have a few kinds of work in this part of town,” Kairi sighed. “If it was just for me it'd be different...”

“What do you mean 'just for you'?” Axel raised his eyebrows. “Don't tell me you're paying rent by yourself?”

She shook her head and bit into her lip hard. “... They're raising Namine's dose.”

It was like a bomb had landed between the three of them.

“Oh.” Axel didn't have a response for that.

Sora's eyes widened. “You didn't tell me...”

“And getting her into the hospital every few weeks isn't cheap either.” Kairi paused to let that sink in and nearly downed her drink in one shot. Shocked, Sora lowered his eyes to the bar.

“... Whatever you do, just be careful about it.” Axel had no further argument to make.

“I will be,” Kairi nodded. “I promise.”

“I still think you should find alternatives to Xigbar, if you can.”

“I'm taking suggestions, if you've got any.”

Sora listened to them both without knowing what to say. Namine had been sick for so long, and every time it seemed like she might be getting better... this happened. There would be no 'recovery' – not for her, not for Axel – but when the medications gave them energy, gave them hope, life didn't seem so hard. That was worth all the money in the world.

But they didn't have all the money in the world. They barely had enough for their water bill.

Axel gave Kairi a look of sympathy before drifting away, going to attend to the person who'd just approached the bar. “What can I get you?”

“Ginger and rye.”

Zexion placed a bill down on the bar preemptively, knowing the cost of his usual drink. This was how he started every night that he worked, and he would only have one beverage in total. He would stay at the bar long enough for people to get a look at him, and then he'd get to business.

Word had been leaked about where he would be, tonight. The marvelous thing about Zexion's business was that he could go where he pleased, whenever he pleased, and his clientele would come to him. His regulars did the advertising _for_ him, and there was never a shortage of desperate or curious people looking to try an escape.

There was no need to push drugs on anyone when the city's entire population was lining up to get them, and at the end of every one of those lines was Zexion.

Zexion was the only reason that Riku was here. He had no real interest in seeing strangers take off their clothes, no matter how attractive they were; voyeurism was just an uncomfortable experience, made Riku feel out of place. It would have been hard to appreciate the show anyway, with his mind on the craving.

Ever so casually, Riku approached the bar and ordered a cheap beer, not catching Zexion's eye directly. He withdrew his phone, making a show of checking the time and occupying himself. He was jittery, which made it a lot harder to be sneaky about watching what Zexion did.

Zexion finished his drink at his leisure, and left the bar with a briefcase in his hand. With a gesture, he brought his bodyguard to his side and went on ahead to the men's washrooms.

Riku followed.

Lexaeus watched over the pair of them as casually as a man of his stature could, making sure the bathroom stalls were clear before indicating that it was safe to talk.

“What's the going rate?” Riku immediately delved into his pocket.

“Two hundred per.”

Riku's eyes narrowed, but Zexion didn't blink.

“You can't go cheaper?”

“No.”

“You know I'm good for future profits, unless you start bleeding me dry.”

The threat was veiled, and empty. Riku would never stop buying, and Zexion practically had a monopoly on the entire city's drug supply. The stuff that was pure enough for Riku’s standards, anyway.

“I'm asking for exactly what it's worth. You know I don't negotiate.” Zexion lifted an eyebrow, the one that wasn't hidden behind a curtain of hair. “Two hundred.”

With a scowl, Riku fished out his wallet, which was stuffed with bills.

“Usual, or double?”

“If it's two hundred, the usual,” Riku said, and withdrew the cash. Zexion counted the bills before removing two tightly wrapped packages from his briefcase, handing them over.

There weren't security cameras in a dive like this, and even if there were, no one would turn Zexion in.

Riku concealed the packages in his deep pockets and picked his beer bottle back up off the counter, letting Zexion leave first with Lexaeus in tow. He withdrew his phone again.

He'd waited over an hour for Zexion, but the transaction had been quick. He had to get home; he had what they needed.

Riku left the bar and got onto a bus after a wait that felt too long. He found a seat in the back, pulled his hood up over his distinctive hair, and ignored the stares of a couple of giggling girls two rows away. He rode all the way into the poorer housing district, getting off in front of a shoddy low-rise apartment complex.

It was late, but Roxas would be up.

Getting into the building, Riku made his way to the first-floor apartment and knocked hard on the door. It was opened promptly, Roxas having been waiting right by it with shaking hands.

They were alone. Roxas had annoyed Hayner by repeatedly snapping at him earlier, eventually driving him right out of the house with his moodiness.

“I'll melt it down, you get the needles,” Riku instructed, sweeping inside. “You got them, right?”

“Yeah. On the table.” Roxas had occupied himself by prepping for Riku's arrival, though the familiar motions had only made the ache of craving harder to bear.

“Thank god...”

They went to the kitchen, heroin their only focus through the fog. Riku grabbed a pot to start boiling water and Roxas sat at the tiny folding table, needles and bands already laid out. It was tempting to clear the table, line up the powder and snort it, but they needed to conserve the stuff.

“Measure it out.”

Roxas got up again, reaching into the cupboard to fish out the set of spoons they used among the mess of mismatched cutlery. Sitting back down, Roxas opened one of the packages with extreme care so as to let nothing spill.

“This isn't much,” Roxas frowned.

Riku's expression darkened. “He was charging two hundred. I got what I could.”

“Two hundred?” Roxas growled. “Better be cut with gold.”

“I would've said as much if I didn't think he'd cut me off. He's a greedy little twat, but he's our best source,” Riku lamented. Roxas rolled his eyes as he measured out the capacity of the needles he picked up.

“He's too fucking smart. Knows how to get the good shit and how to play you for it.”

Taking what Roxas measured out, Riku began melting the powder in the hot spoon. Both of them watched intently, impatient. “If I could find us a new dealer, I would in a second,” Riku commented. “See how he does losing our business. He may be raking it in from other people, but we're pretty damn consistent.”

“If Zexion hadn't destroyed every decent dealer for miles. Swear he gets that bodyguard to take them out...”

“It wouldn't surprise me.” Riku sighed, weary. “He's going to bleed us dry. You got any more extra cash?”

“Mn. Got sixty for the jewelry I picked up. 'Bout a hundred-twenty from wallets. Cards are no good though.”

Riku's stomach sank. “Never are, those are easily traced. This is all I've got for the stash, for a while...”

“You couldn't get anything more from your parents?” Roxas almost whined.

“Not unless I wanted them to suspect something.”

He scowled. “Well, bring some shit next time. Some gold, or... I dunno, art or something. They won't miss it. You know I can get the best price for it.”

Riku shot him a glare. “I can't steal from my fucking parents, they'd notice.”

“They're rich, they've probably got tons of valuable shit they don't even remember,” Roxas argued.

“You don't know what they're like.” Riku lifted the spoon. “Get me the syringe.”

Roxas didn't want to argue anymore, and the terrible itch under his nails and behind his teeth would have taken priority even if he had. His heart beat faster in anticipation, unsteadily tying off his arm while Riku shut off the yellowed stove.

The full syringes were set on the table. Riku reached over, taking over tying the band around Roxas's upper arm. “Here...”

Roxas let his hands drop and almost managed a smile. “Thanks.”

Securing it, Riku tapped Roxas's arm lightly and kissed him instead of replying. It wasn't unusual for Riku to initiate more contact before they got high, as though he viewed it as something intimate for them to enjoy as a couple. He wasn't far off the mark, in that it was the only thing that seemed to keep them together.

The two of them could probably have injected themselves blindfolded. Sliding the needle under the skin, Roxas pressed down and emptied the syringe, the relief almost instant. Relaxation flooded Riku as the drug did, a slow sort of rush taking precedence over everything else.

Roxas didn't remember pulling the needle out and setting it down, but he must have. He leaned back in his chair and waited for it to take over his system.

It took forever. It took no time at all.

“Mmn...” Riku used the table to push himself up, registering through his haze that he didn't want to be _here_. He didn't know where he _wanted_ to be, yet, but it wasn't here. He took Roxas's hand and pulled him up.

“Huh?”

“Bedroom,” Riku murmured. That was where he wanted to be. His feet carried him that way, even though he couldn't quite remember where Roxas's bedroom was.

Getting what was going on, Roxas purred and took the lead. Riku's arms wrapped around him from behind, holding them up a little while he tugged Roxas's shirt collar out of the way. He nipped his neck, but Roxas found himself annoyed rather than intrigued.

“Nn...” Roxas pulled away and resumed the course to the bedroom. Riku hated having to chase him, but followed with a scowl. He caught up once Roxas shoved open the door and steered him towards the bed, not thinking to shut the door. Riku wasn't thinking much of anything, actually, the haze growing stronger.

Clothing was tugged at and torn off, flung across the room or dropped on the floor. They didn't notice that they hadn't made it entirely onto the bed, or that they hadn't entirely stripped. In contrast, Riku kissed Roxas almost lazily, their pace lethargic but not taking things slow. Hands roamed and groped roughly, Roxas shifting to fit against Riku's chest while Riku found a comfortable way to straddle him.

Everything felt better like this. They didn't care much for foreplay when heroin did the work of riling them up, instead – the air against skin felt like a caress, the blood pumping through their veins feeling like fire. Roxas bucked up against him, craving _pleasure_ , and Riku pinned him by the shoulders and kissed him harder, made them both feel it more.

“We need lube,” Riku noted, and his own voice felt distant. He wasn't so sure that he was present. Roxas's body was here, firm but soft and he wanted to touch him more, wanted to do it hard to make sure they both felt it through the many walls unreality had put up between them.

Roxas's mind went blank when he tried to remember where the bottle had been left. “Uh...”

As he searched, Riku hooked his fingers around the waistband of Roxas's boxers and pulled, not about to stop just because this was taking too long for his liking. Roxas groaned in frustration, the search insurmountably difficult, and Riku hushed him. Fingertips dug into Roxas's thighs as he leaned forward, licking slowly along the length of Roxas's cock.

Just like that, Roxas forgot what he was supposed to be doing. “Ahh...”

Riku didn't swallow or suck him, only inclined to taste. His tongue flicked over the head every time he reached it, licking from base to tip and back again, and he was starting to forget about the lube too. Falling back and moaning, Roxas kept his hips pressed to the bed and let his sounds fall without filter, overheating when Riku rolled his tongue around the head.

“Come on...”

Infuriatingly, Riku did not do more than dig his fingers in harder. He had become _very_ aware of his hard-on, though, and he sat up with a nip to his thigh. Some part of Roxas reminded him of what they needed, and he reached out to the cluttered overturned crate he used as a nightstand. They used cheap lotion for lack of anything else to lubricate with.

Using Roxas's new position to his advantage, Riku mindlessly moved his hips against Roxas's body and placed hungry kisses along his throat, taking the bottle of lotion once he realized it was being handed to him. Roxas's lips parted and took over Riku's, tasting him deeply and conveying just how little patience he still had.

“ _Mn_.”

“Yeah,” Riku gasped when the kiss broke, and he slicked his fingers liberally.

Roxas felt too needy for preparation, but Riku would've insisted on it no matter how high he was. He settled back and implored, “Don't go slow...”

It took them both an inordinate amount of concentration to remember what to do, and neither one realized that their bodies had taken over the steps for them. Riku worked two fingers into the tight, hot ring of muscle, and Roxas made himself relax before rocking against Riku's hand to ask for more. It was too soon for a third, but the ache was dulled by the drug.

“Nngh-!” Roxas bucked hard, shutting his eyes.

“Fuck...” Riku's head was spinning, higher on Roxas's responses, every point of contact pleasantly searing. “Legs apart, more...”

Roxas complied languidly and rocked with the motion of his fingers, simulating what was to come. “God...”

“Think you can take it, right now?” Still, it was too early, but Riku needed him to say yes. He was out of his mind with _wanting_.

Roxas almost talked over him. “Yeah, do it.”

He couldn't think of what the ache would be like, later. He couldn't think of pain at all.

Withdrawing his fingers, Riku repositioned himself between Roxas's spread legs. Condoms were often forgone with the two of them, forgotten in the heat of the moment, and this time was no different. Riku drove himself inside, heroin amplifying pleasure and putting it through his entire body. He was dizzy, drunk on it, and Roxas was buzzing and warm and moaning...

“Yes, god, Roxas...”

Roxas didn't care whether or not he was touched. He didn't care about getting off, really, because the intensity of Riku _fucking_ him was just so overwhelmingly hot while he was in this dreamy state. “Harder...”

Compliance was delayed, but when Riku thrust harder, Roxas forgot which way was up. Riku wanted to kiss him everywhere but settled for Roxas's lips, every slide and press of skin addicting, nearly hitting orgasm from over-stimulation.

“Riku-!”

Riku groaned louder than he realized as he spilled into Roxas, his pleasure manifesting as a rush of color and sound and everything else. Tensing and shuddering, Roxas cried out as well, too far gone to tell whether or not he actually just came and really not caring. Everything seemed to exist in a vacuum.

Everything still felt so good, and the heat coming off each other was enough to keep the chills at bay. Riku didn't move from inside of him, nerves vibrating under his skin. His hands ran over Roxas's body just to marvel at the feel of his skin.

“Nngh...”

“That's... fucking good,” Roxas slurred, slinging his arms loosely around Riku's shoulders.

Neither one of them could've slept even if they'd tried, but their kiss was drowsy. It broke when Roxas turned his head to stare at the wall, and Riku buried his face against Roxas's throat to muffle his snickers. He was laughing at nothing at all.

There was nothing to laugh about.

 


	2. Demyx, Xigbar; Seifer, Hayner

When Xigbar's personal phone rang, that meant it was one of the Boss's people. Only the inner circle, the top tier, were allowed access to Xemnas's right-hand man. The brothel pulled in the most profit, outstripping even Zexion's worth, which made Xigbar one of the most valuable people alive in the city. So, if Xigbar's cellphone rang, it had to be something important.

Xigbar picked up the call. “Yeah?”

“ _It's Itetsuku. Who do you have working tonight?_ ”

So maybe it wasn't as important of a call as he expected, but the amusement it provided was well worth the disturbance. Xigbar started to grin. “ _Vex!_ You horny dog.”

“ _I'm not in the mood for pleasantries_ ,” Vexen snapped. If he was looking for a good time tonight, he'd obviously had a hard day at the university.

“Alright, alright.” Xigbar traced a hand over his jawline, counting out the women he had on his staff. “Who's working that you'd like? Just Mickey and Kadaj.”

“ _Reserve Kadaj._ ”

“Got it. But get here on time, alright? Can't keep him booked all night.”

“ _I am always prompt. If he isn't there by the time I arrive..._ ”

“He'll be there. You know he's good,” Xigbar breezed.

“ _I just won't be forced to wait, if you decide to give away my reservation._ ” There was the slamming of a car door, undoubtedly Vexen climbing into his expensive vehicle.

“As if. I'd never do that to you, buddy! You're one of my best.”

“ _Only because I can afford your ludicrous rates_ ,” Vexen grumbled.

“That's why we have such a great friendship. I'll have him waiting.”

“ _See that you do._ ”

Xigbar hung up and leaned forward to grab the phone on his desk, flipping open a notebook to his list of numbers. Kadaj didn't live far away, and was one of the rare prostitutes who liked his work. He'd be over at the drop of a hat.

His office was lavish, desk grand and chair comfortable. As was typical, Luxord sat in one of the seats across the desk with his newspaper and laptop, checking on various bets he'd made. He served as a lackadaisical secretary, in some way or another, his value as a whore having been lost when he contracted the virus. Still, he brought in plenty of cash with poker and bets, which kept him on the list of Xigbar's favorite people.

“Lux,” Xigbar addressed him after he hung up the phone, assured that Kadaj would be on his way upstairs in no time. “I'm going out for a bit. Frosty's coming over, so let him in.”

“I'll just hover by the door, shall I?” Luxord didn't look up from his paper.

“Just don't try to get an extra round outta him. He'd freeze my balls in nitrogen.”

Luxord's lip twitched. “I leave our good press and advertising to you.”

Keys in hand, Xigbar got up and twirled them around his finger as he made to leave the room. “Later.”

It used to be a small hotel, Xigbar's brothel. When he stepped out of the office, it was into a simply decorated foyer; nothing gaudy, nothing unwelcoming. He left with his head high and his ears sharp, smirking when he heard the familiar strum of a guitar a few alleys away.

Demyx's preferred haunt was uptown, where the well-off might take pity on a starving artist without a roof over his head. They rarely did. He was fairly clean but dressed in tatters, whereas his one and only possession was immaculately kept. He closed his eyes as he played as loudly as he thought he could get away with, envisioning a crowd full of fans waving their arms in time to the music.

He was interrupted by a knock on the wall above his head. Demyx missed a note, startled.

“... Oh!” Eyes open, Demyx looked up at the closest thing he had to a friend with a grin. “Hey, Xiggy.”

“Hey, kid.” Xigbar looked down at the guitar case in front of Demyx, the paltry earnings crumpled and sad. “Tough crowd, huh?”

“Bad day for appreciating musical genius, maybe?”

“Must be.” Xigbar scanned him. “You look cold.”

“Lost my gloves,” Demyx told him, wiggling his fingers for emphasis. He already had an idea of what Xigbar might want, and he was quick to start packing up his guitar. “But I can't play in the subway anymore, they keep kicking me out.”

“That's rough. Come on, I'll get you set up for the night.”

Demyx's smile brightened, relieved. “Thanks, Xiggy.”

“I'll even toss in a fifty for ya'. Y'look like you could use some food.”

According to the gnaw from his stomach, Demyx couldn't say no. He slung the guitar case across his back and clung to Xigbar's arm. “You're the best.”

“Yeah, I know.” Xigbar didn't live far. He started steering them in the direction of his place.

“So...” Demyx began, but wasn't sure where he was taking his sentence. He was never really sure what to talk about with Xigbar, feeling that he shouldn't be too casual when the man was doing him favors. “You're not busy tonight? I mean, if I can come over, I'm not taking you away from important stuff, right?”

“Nah, nothing important.” Xigbar ruffled Demyx's hair. “C'mon. Y'know how special I think you are.”

Demyx glowed under the praise, but mumbled, “Still... You shouldn't just make time for some homeless kid.”

“I'd make time for you as a co-worker if I could.”

He shook his head immediately. “You know I don't want -”

Xigbar snickered. “Yeah, I know. Just a shame.”

“I still want to try making money from my music, not... _that_.” Demyx never really thought much about the fact that Xigbar often gave him money after they fooled around. It wasn't prostitution if he'd have done it for free, he reckoned.

“I totally worry about you, kid. But whatever you say.” Xigbar led them up to his apartment complex, only a block away.

“You do?” Demyx sounded both surprised and flattered.

“'Course. You're on your own out here. Anything could happen.”

“I'll be fine,” Demyx insisted. “I'm better at defending myself than you'd think.”

“I believe ya'. But if you got jumped by a bunch of guys, it'd be a different deal.”

Demyx bounced over to the door, waiting to be let in. “They wouldn't do _that_. I think, I mean – right?”

Xigbar shrugged, mock-casual. “Dangerous town.”

They made their way inside and up the elevator to the penthouse suite, not speaking much while Demyx's paranoia set in. Xigbar didn't consider what he was doing manipulation when it was clearly for Demyx's own good, and Demyx lacked the awareness to think that Xigbar might be trying to sway him. Still, it proved ineffective as he shrugged it off, deciding just to be grateful that he was indoors tonight.

“Thanks,” he said as he walked into the familiar apartment. The moment they stepped inside, Xigbar's hand was brushing Demyx's jaw.

“You know I could provide security...”

Leaning into the touch, Demyx enjoyed it for a second before shaking his head. “Still 'no'.”

Xigbar sighed, watching Demyx put aside his guitar case. “You're giving up a ton of good money. Seriously, you were pretty much born for it, dude.”

He wasn't disappointed, exactly. It wasn't the first time he'd made this suggestion and it wouldn't be the last, and he expected the same answer every time. Rather than lament the loss, Xigbar slid his hand down to grab Demyx's waist, backing him against the wall. Demyx's arms responsively went around Xigbar's shoulders.

“I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not,” Demyx frowned. “Unless you're saying I'm really good at sexy stuff?”

“People would pay serious dime for that face.” No longer interested in discussion, Xigbar kissed him, hard and demanding. Demyx really was fun, parting his lips for him immediately and teasing Xigbar's lips with his tongue. Never too passive, always responsive.

Xigbar's hand cupped his ass and dug his fingers in, pulling his hips closer.

“Mn-...” Demyx let Xigbar take the lead. It was partially out of laziness, but he also just liked everything Xigbar did enough not to second-guess him. He arched into Xigbar's hand until it abandoned its grip, and fingers threaded through Demyx's hair to start pushing him down.

“You know the drill,” Xigbar said, slightly winded. Already, Demyx started to undo Xigbar's pants.

“Yeah...”

In his experience, no one gave better head than Demyx. Xigbar leaned heavily into the wall after getting his pants out of the way, watching Demyx palm him as he settled onto his knees. Both hands braced on Xigbar's thighs as Demyx delved forward, running the tip of his tongue along the slit. He didn't do much teasing before swallowing him to the hilt.

“ _Shit_ , kid...” Xigbar's hand went to the back of his head, clutching the blonde strands. Demyx hummed in reply, sucking as he drew back – not too hard, not too soft, getting him hard so quick it was dizzying. He never pulled off of his cock, swirling his tongue at every opportunity.

Massaging roughly, Xigbar groaned and put more pressure on the back of Demyx's head. He let his head tilt back despite the temptation to watch Demyx kiss the base of his dick. Adjusting his position on his knees, Demyx wound his arms around Xigbar's hips to ground himself as he held his position there, groaning in the back of his throat. Xigbar was tempted to buck forward, and only didn't because there was nowhere further to go – Demyx had taken all of him without even a hitch, without his eyes even watering.

“Fuck-...”

He managed to hold his position there for ten more seconds before he had to breathe. Demyx pulled back to the head and inhaled deeply through his nose, and then he was bobbing his head at a quicker pace than before.

“Fuckin' good, Dem... Shit, you're a pro...” Xigbar would've come down his throat, over his face, but he wanted his ass and wasn't patient enough to let this go on much longer. He pushed Demyx back abruptly. “C'mon. My room.”

The motion jerked Demyx back and made him cough, but he recovered quickly. He got to his feet and licked his lips. “Mm-hmm...”

Xigbar grabbed his ass again before crossing the hallway to his bedroom. The room had been extensively equipped to accommodate his fetishes, and looked more like a place to play than to sleep; there were paddles and floggers on the wall, leather harnesses and leashes, gags and blindfolds. The room was big enough to accommodate the pommel horse and sex swing bolted into the floor and ceiling respectively. Demyx abandoned his clothing as they walked, his jacket and shirt hitting the hallway floor, and started to undo his jeans without batting an eye at the set-up. He was familiar with everything in here.

Considering, Xigbar disregarded the bed almost immediately and pushed Demyx towards the swing instead. Blushing, Demyx moved towards it, turning around to get settled in the harness. Xigbar grabbed the warming lube from his extensive collection of the stuff, then went to help Demyx take his jeans off.

“Mm, Xiggy...” Demyx bowed his head forward a little, waiting until they were gone before lifting his legs into the stirrups. Xigbar held him up to help him settle into the position, expertly opening the lube with one hand to start coating his fingers.

Demyx wasn't able to do much positioned in the swing, and he wanted to fidget, wanted to tell Xigbar to spread his legs further apart. Grabbing one of the straps to steady himself, Xigbar lowered the other hand to push two fingers into him.

“Ah...” Demyx bit his lip, relaxing as he was so practiced at doing. His moans became sharper when Xigbar hit his sweet spot, tilting his head back. “Fuck!”

Xigbar grinned, stimulating his prostate with constant thrusts and circles. He only took pressure off to stretch him in a hurry, though Demyx tried to rock against his fingers every time he stopped.

“Such a needy little bastard. That's what I like about you.” Xigbar reached out to cup his jaw and kissed him again, cutting off his moan. Demyx kissed back eagerly.

More lube. A bit more stretching, and then a third finger. The heat traveled right to Demyx's cock and the pressure was not uncomfortable, and he whimpered into Xigbar's mouth.

A tempting thought flitted through Xigbar's head – he could suck Demyx off, watch him come screaming – but it didn't linger. He shoved his fingers into him faster, spreading them and stroking his g-spot. He drank in Demyx's loud moans, patience wearing thin.

“ _Xigbar_ -...”

Demyx could take more, they both knew it, and that was all Xigbar needed. “Fuck, can't take anymore,” he groaned, drawing his fingers out and wiping them carelessly on his pants. He angled the swing and brought Demyx forward, the slight momentum aiding him in pressing Demyx onto his cock.

“Ah-... _nngh_...” Demyx panted, still open and pliant, and Xigbar bent down to bite down on his throat. Despite himself, he was careful not to hurt Demyx.

“Xiggy...” Demyx's erection was aching, needy and hot and willing to take more. “You c'n...”

“ _Fuck_ , yeah...” Xigbar pulled back and slammed back into him, the swing rocking and making Demyx dizzy. It drew sharp focus to _feeling_ , and it would hurt later but right now – right now, Demyx didn't care.

“Nn, please... _Good_...”

One hand roamed over Demyx's ass as he set a hard rhythm, and Xigbar snickered when he got that Demyx didn't care how rough he was. Groping hard, he pounded into Demyx with purpose, aiming for his prostate. Tearing up, Demyx cried out so loud that the neighbors surely heard him.

Xigbar forced the swing to move more, bringing Demyx back against his thrusts. Heat spiked, Demyx's body too welcoming and hot to last. “ _Fucking_ hell...”

The sound of his voice made Demyx tighten. He wanted to beg Xigbar to touch him, knowing he'd orgasm the moment he got friction against his cock. Xigbar was more focused on his own pleasure, though, leaning close against him and attacking his throat. His thrusts got faster, brutal, and then he was coming inside of him. Xigbar swore creatively as pleasure took him over.

Demyx tried to arch against him, sore from the suspension and the pounding he'd just been put through. “Please, Xiggy,” he whined, breathless.

“Alright, alright... you earned it.”

Xigbar was still inside him, which suited Demyx perfectly. He wrapped his hand around him, stroking fast.

“ _Ahh_ fuck...” Demyx moaned blissfully, and didn't last more than a couple of strokes before hitting his peak. Xigbar kissed him when white streaked his abdomen, pumping him throughout his orgasm with the aim of leaving him light-headed. A couple of tears spilled over, left weak and sated.

Pulling away, Xigbar grinned as he watched the tears slip down. “Fuck, you wear me out fast,” he commented, holding onto one of the supports to keep from slumping.

“Mm...” Demyx purred breathlessly. “Yeah... Good... It's good, I mean, you're...” his babbling tapered off and he grinned. Getting out of the swing with some assistance, his legs buckled and his lips found Xigbar's briefly. “I could shower and we can go again in an hour?”

“Yeah. Get a shower. And get some food while you're up, if you get any skinnier my cock's gonna break you.”

Demyx laughed. “'Kay, cool,” he agreed, and kissed him again more heatedly before heading off to the bathroom.

Xigbar found a pair of silky boxers to change into and dialed Luxord with a smug smirk.

He answered after only one ring. “ _You need me?”_

“Vexen get in there okay?” Xigbar tossed his pants over towards his laundry pile.

Luxord made an affirmative noise. “ _And he was in a_ _ **foul**_ _mood.”_

“Isn't he always?” Xigbar snorted. “Anyway, I'm not coming back tonight. Got some, uh, business matters to deal with.”

“ _I do wish you'd share a little in your 'business' ventures, disease aside. I'd just like to see the boy cum._ ”

Xigbar grinned, imagination running away with him. “As if. You haven't got the control, Brit boy.”

“ _For an ass like his, you're likely right_.”

“I'll film it for ya' sometime.” He wondered if he should surprise Demyx in the shower, just to see him blush. “Keep an eye on Kadaj and make sure he isn't skimming off his tips. Later.”

“ _Ta_.”

Xigbar hung up and set the phone aside, staring at it. He wanted to turn it off to prevent any distractions, but... he knew better.

If that phone rang, the person on the other end was important.

Demyx obliviously sang in the shower.

 

* * *

 

Getting legitimate work in the city was something for the upper-class only. The mythical middle class never remained in that gray area for long; they inevitably were sapped for everything they had and wound up in the slums with the rest of society's dregs. Once you hit the bottom rung, the world would throw down everything it had to _keep_ you there.

Hayner had been middle-class, once. His parents hadn't had much, but they'd worked steady jobs and managed to put food on the table. Hell, he'd _had_ a table. As for what had changed... well, Hayner didn't really know. He'd just become aware one day that the house was a little more sparse, that his parents had a lot more free time but weren't any happier for it, that the possibility of college was off the table.

Then he'd moved out, and wondered how his parents had even managed to hold onto a house. How they'd managed to _live_.

He'd started stealing shortly after his first eviction warning. When it proved to be the only thing that paid, he'd kept doing it. Breaking and entering, swiping wallets, lifting purses. He got good at spotting a rich person from one of those flash-in-the-pan middle class, and he got even better at taking things from them. Sometimes, when he was lucky, they didn't notice.

And sometimes, when he was less lucky, they did. And he had to run.

Hayner bolted down one of his practiced escape routes, holding the case he'd stolen under his arm. He wasn't sure what was in it, yet, but the owner had been obviously well off. The briefcase itself probably cost a pretty penny, and he'd fetch a pretty good amount from pawning it off once it was empty.

He couldn't have known that he was being chased by an organized unit, not the owner.

He couldn’t possibly imagine the catastrophic mistake he’d just made.

Zexion did not run, and Lexaeus would not leave Zexion's side. Word had been put out en-masse with Hayner's description in detail, and they were both confident that it wouldn't take long for the foolish thief to be tracked down. With the number of people Xemnas had at his disposal, he wouldn't get away even if he did manage a temporary escape.

Hayner didn't know. Once he paused to catch his breath, though, he learned.

Taking shelter in a doorway, Hayner peered around the corners for any sign of pursuers, deciding it was worth the risk to check what it was he'd stolen. This was, by far, the most drastic action he'd ever taken as a thief, and he wanted to know what it was he'd just stuck his neck out for.

He recognized the look of the stacks of various sized packages. He knew them thanks to Roxas – he'd seen his roommate bring home similar packs. Still, he turned up the corner of one foil packet, maybe hoping that he was wrong.

Powder poured out over his hand, and he jumped. “Oh, shit... Oh _shit_...”

This was bad. This was so much worse than he could have ever expected.

It had to be _worth_ – fuck, Hayner didn't even know how much money it was all worth. If he got away with this...

He wouldn't get away with this.

But if he _did_...

Eyes very wide, Hayner closed up the package as best he could and snapped the briefcase shut. For now, he just had to keep running.

Ducking out of the doorway and into an alley, he ran with his heart up in his throat. He'd go straight home. If no one had found him yet, the best thing to do would be to hide the briefcase as soon as he could.

Once again, though, Hayner just wasn't that lucky. His heart beat so hard and fast that it threatened to make him sick, but he still picked up on the sound of footsteps beating a path down behind him. Hayner zig-zagged, chancing a look over his shoulder to confirm that he was really being followed and choking at the sight of the guy behind him.

He'd only gotten the quickest look, but he was pretty sure his pursuer was bigger than him. Was it the behemoth who'd been at his target's side? That man looked like he could rip Hayner in half with his bare hands...

Turning down another alley, Hayner nimbly climbed a chain-link fence and dropped into a crouch, regaining the use of his legs quickly. The connecting alleyways made for something of a maze back here, and he prayed that the man chasing him would get confused and lose track. The flip side was that Hayner was slowed down as he tried to navigate the dark corners.

If he didn't linger, or hesitate, he could do this. He could escape.

The corner he rounded took him to another street, he'd be home free soon -

A slight figure stepped into the mouth of the alley, a phone to her ear. Hayner skidded, panicked, and went for the first way out he could find: a fire escape.

He didn't manage to climb up before the newcomer grabbed his leg in a vicious grip.

“Fuck-...!” Hayner thrashed, but she had slowed him down long enough to give his other pursuer the chance to catch up. He dropped hard to the ground, and the two figures loomed over him with sinister smiles. The woman cackled and swiped the case from his loosening grip, and the man pressed one heavy boot down against Hayner's chest.

“You have _no idea_ how badly you've fucked up.”

Hayner couldn't protest. Hayner couldn't _breathe_.

“Larxene, find Lexaeus. Get that back to him.” Seifer crouched down, still putting most of his weight on Hayner. “And call us a car.”

“You think you can order me around?” Larxene arched an eyebrow and giggled, removing her phone regardless.

Hayner closed his eyes briefly, trying to think. It was hard when his air supply was being cut off.

Seifer grabbed Hayner's chin and tilted it violently towards him. “I don't think Xemnas is going to want to see you in this condition,” he informed him, and cracked a fist across Hayner's jaw.

His head hit the ground hard and sparks danced under his vision, but Hayner struggled. If he couldn't get free, he was _screwed_ and he knew it. Seifer's knuckles met his face again, though, and he groaned weakly.

“Don't make me knock you out, I've got questions. You take any of it? Hide it?”

Hayner thrashed and aimed a punch at Seifer's jaw.

“You have this under control?” Larxene laughed, her tone like syrup.

Spitting, Seifer grappled with Hayner until he had the chance to go into his jacket, and then Hayner was staring down the barrel of a gun. He froze.

“Like I said,” Seifer growled, and put the gun right against Hayner's skull. “No fucking clue what you've gotten yourself into.”

If he didn't move, he wouldn't die.

He had to keep still.

His hands were shaking and he needed them to stop because he had to _keep still_.

“I didn't fucking know what it was...!” Hayner wheezed.

“I don't think Xemnas will care.”

'Xemnas' – that was the second time he'd heard the name, and Hayner still had no clue who that was.

“Your car's here,” Larxene told Seifer, phone to her ear and hand on her hip. Seifer removed his weight from Hayner's chest but kept the gun pointed at him, hauling him up.

“C'mon.”

Hayner wasn't going to try to run. He couldn't imagine any way that could end but with a bullet lodged in his body. With his hands up near his head, Hayner walked ahead of Seifer to the car waiting for them. At the sight of it, he nearly stopped walking.

He'd never seen a limousine before, and the sight of the long sleek vehicle was almost comically out of place in this part of town. It was starting to become clear that he'd gotten involved in something _very_ serious.

Seifer got the car door and shoved Hayner inside, keeping the gun pulled on him even once they were seated.

“... Sir.”

Sitting across from them was the most powerful man either of them were ever likely to see. Xemnas had removed his jacket and was adjusting his cufflinks, expression stony as he took the briefcase that Larxene passed him from outside. The car door was closed, and the driver resumed their course.

“I happened to be on my way home from a meeting. It's been a very long day.” Xemnas's eyes narrowed. “The diversion from ending my night was not planned.”

Hayner stared, shifting his head minutely back at Seifer. “You've got your shit back...”

“That was _me_ you tried to steal from,” Xemnas said, “and I am not a forgiving man.”

“I had no idea _who_ -”

“Was any of it lost?” Xemnas asked.

“I didn't touch it!”

“His hand's covered in the shit,” Seifer indicated Hayner's powder-stained cuff.

“So I see.”

Hayner had forgotten about that. “It broke. I don't use it.”

“Waste is waste... and I despise waste.” Xemnas regarded Hayner coldly. “It's for that reason that I'm considering other uses for you.”

“Uses?” Hayner blurted. He'd started to expect that he was going to be shot and dumped somewhere. If he was right, and Xemnas was as powerful as he seemed to be, Hayner doubted they'd ever find his body.

Rather than elaborate, Xemnas withdrew his phone and scanned Hayner, dialing without looking. Hayner stayed quiet, but his skin crawled at the way he was being looked at.

When Xemnas spoke again, it was into the phone. “I've found you a new one.”

“ _Oh yeah? Well, gimme the specs._ ” The other voice was tinny on the other end, but Hayner could make it out.

“Blonde, brown eyes, male. Somewhat skinny. You'll find clientele for him.”

Hayner wasn't sure whether he was even more intimidated, or affronted.

“ _Always a market for blondes. How old?_ ”

“Young. I imagine he's legal, though not by very much.”

“ _Oh yeah, he'll fit in nice. Send him over whenever._ ”

“I'll notify you when.” Xemnas closed the phone and pocketed it.

“You want me working for you?” Hayner looked from one face to the other, unable to keep silent. “What's this – some kind of errand boy thing?”

Xemnas gave him a very even look. “Allow me to inform you of your situation.”

That was a foreboding way to start a sentence.

“You have wasted my time and stolen valuable income from me. I imagine that you don't have the money to repay me for what both of those things are worth, and before you attempt to make me an offer, you should know that my time is _much more valuable_ than what you stole.”

Hayner had nothing to offer to begin with. “... So I'm supposed to work it off...?”

“You'll be working under Xigbar, as a rent boy.”

Xigbar was a name he knew. It was a name most everyone knew, but not one Hayner ever thought about. It took him a moment to process what he'd just been told.

“... What the hell?! I'm not some hooker you can just tell who to fuck!”

“If you accept, you will be provided for as someone under my indirect employ,” Xemnas told him evenly. “If not, I will need to find alternatives, and you'll have wasted my time further.”

“I thought you'd ask me to steal shit for you or be hired muscle or something -” Hayner glanced at Seifer. “I don't care who's 'providing' for me, you can't make me do that shit!”

“You're obviously an incompetent thief, and I have hired muscle. You wouldn't be an asset in that area.” Xemnas folded his hands in his lap. “If you're choosing to deny my offer, you will be disposed of. I can't have anyone walking around spreading the word that it's acceptable to attempt to steal from me.”

Hayner swallowed hard, and glanced at the gun. “I'm not gonna be some creep's whore.”

“Unfortunate.”

Seifer switched the safety off the gun.

He had no intention of shooting in here, but there was nothing vague about the threat. Hayner's lungs seized.

“ _Fuck_ , I can make payments – I can get money -”

“I've given you your options,” Xemnas said calmly.

“I-... I...” Hayner couldn't think, brain shutting down into panic.

“It should be noted that if you think you might agree and change your mind later, I will make sure you're found.”

Something sank into Hayner's stomach. He hadn't even thought of that plan yet, and it was already out.

This man was going to have him killed, and he'd get away with it. Would his parents know? Hayner didn't keep in contact with them very much. The only person who might notice was Roxas, and he was so drugged up that it might take him days – maybe more – to realize that Hayner was just _gone_. Once he did, too, how much would Roxas care? They used to be close, once, but since the heroin...

Yeah. Roxas wouldn't care very much if Hayner just up and disappeared, and that pissed him off. The idea that he could just phase out of existence entirely was infuriating. He couldn't let that happen.

And that gave him only one option, which pissed him off even more.

“... _Fine_.”

The safety was put back on the gun.

“Wise choice,” Xemnas told him.

The danger was gone, and now that it wasn't so immediate, Hayner struggled to rationalize his decision. He was being press-ganged into a life of prostitution. What even... What was a life like that even _like?_

It was a life of steady money, at least. A line of legitimate work.

Hayner hated himself for thinking that.

 


	3. Kairi, Namine; Riku, Sora, Axel, Roxas

Kairi raised her lanyard as she entered the hospital, showing her volunteer badge to woman behind the desk. She was allowed through, directed out into the tiny play area connected to the children's ward, and Kairi only stopped long enough to rub hand sanitizer into her skin.

It was a familiar path, a familiar ward, though technically not the one she was really here for. She smiled upon spotting blonde hair and the white floral dressing gown she'd bought her girlfriend during her first extended hospital stay. “Namine!”

Namine lifted her head, hands covered in colorful dust. She tried to clean them off as she stood up, looking much better than she had in weeks.

Still, the dark circles under her eyes and pale fragility was permanent.

“Kairi!” She sank into her when Kairi extended her arms for a hug, and like always, she tried to convey how much she adored her with the contact alone.

Kairi held Namine close, but was mindful not to squeeze her too tight. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, today. We're making an island paradise to play in,” Namine answered, showing off the immense chalk drawing she'd been working on with some of the children.

“That sounds like fun.” Kairi pulled away to kneel down by one little girl, looking over the selection of sidewalk chalk.

“Selphie, would you mind if I borrowed the pink?” Namine addressed a little girl who had collected a small pile to hoard. “We could draw some shells on the beach.”

The frail child hesitated, staring at the chalk as though Namine had just asked her to part with solid gold. Still, she picked up the pink chalk and handed it over. “O _kay_...”

“Thank you,” Namine smiled and passed the chalk to Kairi. Accepting it, Kairi leaned over to start sketching seashells on the yellow sand. Picking up the blue to resume drawing waves, Namine glanced over to observe the little girl scribbling over the water with white chalk. “What are you making, Selphie?”

“S'not done yet,” she replied distractedly, going for the yellow chalk next.

Idly, Namine continued to draw waves and gently tilted her head to rest on Kairi's shoulder. Kairi stroked her hair once and set the pink chalk aside, only for it to be snatched up. Selphie used it to draw hair on the other white-robed figure.

“Is that us?” Kairi asked, eyebrows raising.

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh, that's so nice! We look so pretty,” Namine beamed.

“I’s your wedding,” Selphie explained.

“That's beautiful, Selphie!” Namine's smile spread even wider.

Kairi melted inside. “We're getting married on the ocean?”

“Mhm. 'Cause you're mermaids.”

“I love our tails. Would you be our flower girl?” Namine asked.

Selphie frowned. “I can't go 'cause I'm not a mermaid.”

“Well, why can't you be a mermaid?” Kairi countered. Selphie didn't answer, the question apparently giving her a lot to think about.

“You know,” Namine began, “there are beautiful sea creatures that can come on land. Do you know what they're called?”

Selphie shook her head.

“Selkies.”

“'Selphies'?!” she echoed excitedly.

“Selphies,” Namine confirmed, too pleased to correct her.

She'd had a feeling that would make her happy, but she hadn't anticipated the way Selphie squealed and tipped over backwards in her enthusiasm. Kairi laughed, throwing out a hand to protect the back of her head from the concrete.

“So you could absolutely be our flower girl,” Namine concluded. She giggled, watching Selphie right herself with surprising speed to reach for the colors of chalk she needed.

They only got to play a few minutes longer until a nurse in pale yellow Mickey-and-Minnie-Mouse scrubs came out into the yard, calling, “Selphie, it's time for your medicine.”

The little girl's smile faded, and she suddenly looked tired beyond her years. “Okay,” she said, reluctantly putting down her chalk and brushed herself off.

“We can keep playing later, okay?” Namine gently patted Selphie's shoulder. She managed a little smile again.

“Yeah.”

She waited until Selphie had gone before turning to Kairi. “They said I could be discharged tonight... but I'll be sad to leave the children.”

Kairi had expected her discharge date would be another day, and her surprise showed. “Oh... I couldn't pick you up tonight. I'm working...”

“At the club?”

It was strange of her to ask, and Kairi felt a stab of paranoia. Had Namine found out -? “... Yeah.”

“It's alright,” Namine said. “I can find my own way home... I don't want to stay and rack up more hospital fees.”

Kairi gripped her arms. “Honey, no. Stay the night, I'll be here first thing in the morning to get you, and we'll get breakfast at Wonderland Cafe on the way home.” She offered her a warm, reassuring smile. “I'm... going to get paid a bit more soon now, I'll pay for the night.”

Namine bit her lip. “Are... are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” Kairi leaned in for a kiss, never one to take, and Namine returned it chastely.

She wished she could take her home now, but it was probably better that she didn't. Her first night working for Xigbar... she didn't want to face Namine right after. She didn't know how she would feel afterwards, yet.

Better to prepare for the worst.

 

* * *

 

The Kingdom Hearts Bar went through different themes depending on the night, with Fridays being dedicated to their kinkier clientele. The cages suspended several feet above the dance floor were a new installation for that client base in particular, and to say Sora found them intimidating wouldn't do his feelings justice, especially after he was told to strip and get into one.

He was basically just moving from side to side, but no one seemed to mind how poor his dancing was so long as he was only wearing the barest scrap of underwear. A few particularly bold dancers reached up into the cage to feel up his legs, and he squeaked and stepped out of their reach as casually as he could.

Axel was a little too busy to be of any help, tonight. His drag persona was especially convincing in fishnets and leather, and the bachelor party he was serving was very enthused about the overall effect. That didn't stop them from under-tipping when they finally started trailing away from the bar.

With a subtle sigh, Axel wiped down the sticky after-effects of several rounds of shots, then turned to the next waiting patron. A flirtatious grin found its way back onto his face, but this time it was genuine.

The blonde was just his type. Not really dressed for this sort of atmosphere in a plaid shirt and jeans, he stood out like a bejeweled thumb. How had he not seen this guy come in?

While Axel had been tending bar and Sora was being groped at, Riku and Roxas had walked into the club with only the vaguest sense of purpose. Riku was just in a _mood_ after they'd shot up and fucked most of their high out, and the two of them had gone out with maybe the faintest hope that they'd catch Zexion scouting for new clientele. Riku paused inside the doorway to give Roxas a quick, careless kiss, then departed to join the dancers. Roxas, unable to care less what Riku got up to, waved faintly and headed to the overcrowded bar.

Somewhere in that time, Sora thought he'd glimpsed silver hair. It had to be his imagination, though, a trick of the ever-changing lights.

He _hoped_ it was, because there was only one person in the world he knew with hair that color, and he could not see him. Not _here_.

“What can I get you?” Axel leaned over the counter towards Roxas, his 'drag voice' not carrying through the slight purr. Roxas, however, was never one to be particularly perceptive.

Assuming Axel was a woman, he didn't bother to look him over. “Just beer.”

He picked up on the lack of interest, but that didn't matter to Axel much. He was just looking, anyway, since there was no way he could _touch_. Since he hadn't specified the type of beer, Axel grabbed him the house brand.

“Thanks.”

There was at least one thing he could do while Riku entertained himself with strippers, Roxas figured, and that was appraising the people around. He was looking for someone drunk, with full pockets.

On the dance floor, a few of Riku's buttons had come undone thanks to roaming hands and his hair was a little mussed, but he neither noticed nor cared. One of the dancers had caught his attention, though Riku couldn't be sure he was seeing him _correctly_.

Having seen and recognized him, though, Sora backed up and clung to the bars of the cage, looking desperately towards the bar for help. There was nowhere to hide, and Axel was busy with a customer. Heart racing, his movements became stiffer and he turned away, relying on the childish principle of 'if I can't see him, he can't see me'.

Of course, what Riku now _could_ see was Sora's nearly exposed ass.

“ _Sora?_ ”

With a flinch, Sora pretended not to hear him.

Near the bar, Xaldin had begun to wander, looking for some brief fun with the clientele. As the bouncer, he considered the employees off-limits, but he was on rotation with another security guard and the monotony needed to be broken up somehow. He slid into the seat beside Roxas, nodding to Axel as he preemptively started on Xaldin's usual.

He took the drink, sipped slowly, and eyed Roxas with an almost predatory glint. “You're sure you're old enough to be in here?”

Roxas had almost finished his beer. He tensed. “If you need to see my ID again -”

“Whoa, whoa,” Xaldin chuckled. “That was supposed to be a compliment, kid.”

Axel arched one eyebrow. Xaldin's flirtations weren't his personal style, but he could live vicariously for the next little while. It was a shame even hitting on someone didn't feel safe, anymore.

“ _Sora_ ,” Riku tapped against the cage insistently, perplexed. “I _know_ it's you...”

Sora visibly sighed, tempted to be angry at Riku for embarrassing him but not able to muster the feeling. He turned enough to look down at him, and felt a familiar pang in his chest.

This was the worst thing that ever could have happened to him. Why now? Why _here?_

Roxas's guard dropped a little now that he understood he wasn't being busted for his fake ID. He adopted a flirtatious smile of his own. “I'm not as young as you might think.”

He hadn't slept with anyone since he and Riku started hooking up, but neither one of them felt any strong sense of monogamous duty towards each other. Flirting was the easiest way to get him what he wanted, anyway.

“With that cute face of yours, you sure make me feel old.”

Roxas smirked knowingly. “But not _too_ old...”

Xaldin was able to picture himself pinning Roxas to something and taking him with ease, but he didn't really have time for that sort of fun while he was working. Still, he kept the conversation going. “Not when you look so lonely over here.”

Roxas could see a wallet and a cell phone on him. That was enough to start playing up the act. “I think my date ditched me,” he pouted.

The pout reminded Axel uncannily of Sora, which reminded him to do his customary check on his friend. Glancing over, he frowned at what he saw.

Sora's body language _screamed_ 'get away from me'.

“Hey – Sora needs an assist,” Axel interrupted Xaldin, unable to leave the bar to rescue Sora himself.

“Well, is it an emergency?” Xaldin glanced towards the dance floor, and noted with dismay that Sora had stopped dancing entirely.

“Enough of one.”

Sighing, Xaldin decided he could give up on Roxas, now that work beckoned him back. “Be right back, cutie,” he said anyway, and got up to investigate.

Roxas shoved down the ripple of indignation at the nickname.

“What are you _doing_ here?” Riku asked. He was staring at Sora, almost wondering if he was hallucinating his childhood friend and former boyfriend.

“N-nothing,” Sora lied pointlessly, his hands going to modestly protect himself.

Riku just looked utterly disbelieving.

“... I'll... talk to you when you're not in a-...”

“I-I'm working until late.” Sora didn't actually know how long he was expected to stay in the cage, but hoped his excuse would be enough to deter him.

The crowd parted for Xaldin, who approached the pair of them. “This guy bothering you?”

Riku had been about to answer Sora but was interrupted by their interloper. He looked up at Sora. “... _Am_ I bothering you?”

Feeling trapped, Sora said the first thing his panicked brain came up with. “Kind of.”

With that not being grounds to kick Riku out, Xaldin instead ushered him away from the cage to keep the peace. “Alright, go cool off.”

Riku glanced back at Sora, eyes narrowed in confusion, but did not argue. He weaved through the dancers to walk away.

“What can you give me that's strong?” Roxas asked Axel, irked at having lost his mark.

“You want it sweet, or you don't care? Either way, I'll take care of you.” Axel reached for a bottle of some of the hardest stuff they had on stock.

“Depends how bad we're talking. I can probably take it.” Drinking wasn't as common of a pastime as heroin, but Roxas was no slouch at it.

“Don't say I didn't warn you.” Mixing up a drink, Axel put it down in front of Roxas, who took a cautious sip and cringed.

“You weren't kidding,” he commented, but the burn down his throat actually helped him regain some focus.

“If you want to top it off with something to help it go down easier, I can do that, too.”

“You got something I can chase it with?”

“That I do.” Axel picked up another brand of alcohol. “It'll burn a little more, initially, but then soothe it like you just drank water.”

“Sounds good.” Roxas waited for Axel to present him with the second drink, then tried the combination as recommended. It eased the burning in his throat well, pleasing him – but, notably, his tone was nothing like the one he was using on Xaldin moments ago. “Hm. You were right.”

With Riku dealt with, Xaldin returned to his seat and nodded to Axel. “Trust you watched for roofies,” he said, indicating his drink.

“Always do,” Axel replied, and blew Xaldin a kiss. He looked over towards Sora again just to confirm that he was okay.

He seemed to be... well, not terrible. He'd fallen into a self-conscious rhythm again, still aware that Riku could be watching him.

Xaldin snorted and turned back to Roxas. “Where were we?”

Roxas grinned. “I think it was something about my eyes? Or maybe my ass, I forget.”

The empty glass in front of Roxas was explanation enough for his forwardness, and by the time Axel looked back at the two of them, Roxas was in Xaldin's lap.

Briefly, Axel let himself wonder what his chances with someone like Roxas would be if he was more obviously masculine.

Except, no, throw the brakes on that train of thought. There was no point in dwelling on loneliness.

Someone snapped their fingers for Axel's attention, effectively jarring him out of his stupor and inciting a flare of his temper. Still, Axel suppressed the urge to snap at the customer who'd done it and went to take his order.

Riku paid for the drink and glanced carelessly at Roxas. Xaldin had leaned in close to whisper something and nip down Roxas's neck, while Roxas laughed and slid his hands up and down his back, getting a bit lower each time. It should have bothered him, Riku thought; if it was someone he loved messing around in public with another man, he would have been hurt.

It just wasn't like that with Roxas. He ignored the display and drank.

Roxas urged Xaldin away from his neck just to kiss him, and swiped his wallet with one quick, subtle motion. “Mm...”

No one noticed.

Deepening the kiss, Roxas slipped the wallet into his own pocket and took another moment before breaking the kiss, grinning at Xaldin and then looking over his shoulder towards Riku. He caught his eye, and Riku guessed what he'd done.

Time to play along.

“So _now_ you notice your boyfriend?” Riku prompted, coming across as cold.

Axel arched an eyebrow, his thirst for drama piqued. There was a tiny bit of guilt for entertaining fantasies of stripping Roxas down and sneaking him behind the bar, now that he knew he had a boyfriend. Still, it wasn't like he'd done anything to actually feel bad about.

Roxas pretended to look sheepish. “Well, you walked off.”

Xaldin pushed Roxas away pretty quick – or, more aptly, lifted Roxas off to set him on the floor. He put up his hands defensively, not even recognizing Riku. “Hey, I don't want to be in the middle of this.”

“Thanks, you shouldn't be,” Riku replied coolly. Roxas struggled not to smirk, almost wishing he could watch that fight unfold.

With a sigh, Xaldin finished his drink and gave Axel a quick salute. “You can collect at the end of the night, Saph.”

Roxas switched to the seat beside Riku and signaled for another drink. “You know I like to flirt. No harm done.”

“I'll get over it.” Riku finished his beer, than shook the glass slightly. “Another one of these.”

He was awfully blasé for someone who'd been so upset a moment ago, Axel thought. With one eyebrow arched, he started preparing both drinks.

“Not like you're just here to watch strippers, anyway,” Roxas sniped. He shoved the wallet deeper into his pocket, wondering if he could hit any other targets tonight.

“About that...” Riku glanced over his shoulder. “I want to stay until closing.”

Roxas tensed a little. He couldn't stick around late; people would start to notice their missing possessions. “Why? Got a date?”

“A friend. Apparently working as a cage dancer...” Riku nodded to Axel as their drinks were put down in front of them.

“Didn't know you had friends in that business,” Roxas commented, taking his drink and swigging it down, followed by the chaser.

“Neither did I.”

“An actual friend?”

“... An ex-boyfriend.”

“Ah.” Roxas didn't appear bothered, drinking again.

Riku lowered his voice, muttering to his glass. “And my best friend for years, before that...”

Axel glanced over towards Sora again in surprise, then surveyed Riku with more interest. He knew who this guy was, now.

“Sounds like a long story.” Roxas sounded disinterested.

Riku rolled his eyes. “I'll spare you.”

“Thanks.” Roxas was a little buzzed now, though it wasn't a satisfying enough feeling to soothe his craving for a lasting haze. He surveyed the room again.

Axel snapped his fingers in front of Riku's face to grab his focus, the same way he'd done. Riku started, and Roxas covered a snicker.

“... What?” Riku narrowed his eyes.

“Sora doesn't get off shift until about an hour after closing, so unless you want to hang around outside and be rebuffed by bouncers, I wouldn't recommend waiting,” Axel said.

Subtly, Roxas exhaled, relieved to hear that.

Axel gave Riku a once-over. “He's also a friend of mine, and if you're trying to mess with him, I'll suplex you and shove a heel through your throat while you're down.”

Riku's expression went blank, not knowing how to take that, but Roxas couldn't help outright laughing. “I like her.”

Axel smirked.

“... I don't want to give him trouble, alright?” Riku defended himself. “I just want to know what he's doing _here_...”

Roxas craned his neck in the direction they were both looking. “It looks like he's wondering the same thing.”

“It isn't your business either way. Another beer?” Axel asked, faux-sweet.

Riku glowered briefly. “... Yes.”

“And anything for you?” Axel looked to Roxas. “Chaser's nearly out.”

“Alright,” Roxas agreed. “Guess you can top me off.”

“If only, but you _do_ have a boyfriend, so I should keep my distance. Even if he is rude to bar staff,” Axel purred, and went to grab Roxas another drink.

“Bitch,” Riku uttered under his breath.

Roxas was briefly floored, and began to notice details about Axel as he stared blankly. The broadness at the shoulders and chest... The angular jaw...

He shook it off, wondering how drunk he really was, and nursed his drink a little slower.

It didn’t take long for him to spot the glint of a watch attached to a singular bar patron. Looked like the kind of guy who worked nine-to-five downtown, only here to get his kicks out of sight before driving back to some high rise condo.

Perfect. He’d make this his last hit, then drag Riku home with him one way or another.

It wasn’t so much that Roxas wanted to avoid the spectacle of his boyfriend making a fool of himself, but they didn’t need a lifetime ban from this bar when it was so ripe for his picking.


	4. Axel, Roxas, Sora, Riku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome back after our long impromptu hiatus! We're going to be back on track as of this week with updates every Monday!

On the rare occasion Axel didn't work in drag, the bar didn't draw quite the same amount of popularity as usual. It was a curse when it came to tips, but when he was particularly tired it became an utter blessing. He used the slower bar time to clean up and watch Sora with the professional air of a concerned friend.

He was doing better. Their employers had slowly transitioned into dressing Sora in lace-up clothing given his embarrassing trouble with buttons, and that had helped him look more natural onstage. Sora was still no more confident in his dancing ability, but he got less nervous with every performance nonetheless, the crowd becoming a blur to him.

His first performance of the night done with, Sora went backstage to change outfits, and Axel recommenced serving patrons and restocking. The night was going to drag on, but that was better than being overwhelmed. He wasn't in the mood.

It was quite a bit later that Riku and Roxas walked in. Riku had checked and checked again to make sure Sora would be onstage tonight, and went right for the stage without bothering to see how Roxas planned on occupying himself. They both knew he wasn't interested in watching the strippers, but he'd scraped together enough cash to afford the bar.

Recalling Roxas from before, Axel gave him a nod of recognition and a wide grin. “Hey. Still want it hard?”

Roxas froze.

He remembered a red-haired bartender with bright green eyes, but not the broad shoulders and angular torso. Definitely not an attractive, masculine _guy_.

“Uh,” was all Roxas managed, stopping short.

“You didn't seem to fuck around with your alcohol before, so...” Smirking, Axel began to make him the same drink he had before. Roxas gaped.

“Rude to stare,” Axel purred, putting down the drink with a chaser.

Taking it and throwing some money down, Roxas cursed himself for not noticing before that this bartender was _completely_ his type. “I'm trying to figure out if you're a good drag queen or a _really_ good drag king.”

“Whatever might earn me a tip, I'll be.”

Shaking his head, Roxas took a long drink. “Warning would've been appreciated.”

“Warning about what?” Axel grinned. “If you couldn't guess that I'd be a smoking hot guy, that's on _you_ , not me.”

On stage, Sora slunk on late for his cue, the music already playing by the time he reached the pole. Riku, watching with nothing but uncertainty, noted that he hadn't seemed to have changed much. His gloves were partially undone before he even came out, but as Sora moved to the music (to the best of his ability) he started to unlace them.

It was kind of a relief, that Sora didn't seem to know what he was doing too well. Riku exhaled, sidling a little closer to the stage. He didn't want to be noticed, but he did want to be able to see clearly. Sora crossed to the edge of the stage and let the gloves drop just out of reach of the audience.

Sauntering – or what Sora assumed was sauntering – away from the audience, he reached to undo the corset he was wearing and got his fingers briefly tangled in it. He tried not to falter, but Riku noticed all the same. His lips twitched; the routine was endearingly Sora-ish... Or, the fumbles were, anyway.

“So you'll be needing another one of those to deal with the shock?” Axel gestured to the drink in Roxas’s hand.

“Will it cost me the same?” he asked.

“Unless you want to dance for your drink to knock the price down,” Axel said. Out of everyone in the club, he would have preferred to see Roxas dance more than any of the strippers to ever grace the stage.

Sora was bare from the waist up now, having sorted out the problem and unlaced the corset almost in time with the music. Riku kind of wished he'd grabbed a drink now, strangely uncomfortable looking at Sora half-naked.

Or, maybe it was that a bunch of people were also looking at him half-naked.

“Fuck no,” Roxas said, and finished the first drink. “Tight on cash, is all.”

“I'll just have to hit you a bit harder, then... Spiked chaser?” Axel suggested.

“Keep talking about hitting me harder and I'm going to get awfully distracted. But yeah, go for it.”

“Would it help if I said it in the falsetto?” Axel started mixing the drink. He made no mention of Roxas having to pay extra for it.

“I'm much happier this way.” Roxas took a long sip and followed it with the alcoholic chaser. “Mm, I like that.”

“The drink, the chaser, or...” Axel dropped his voice to be huskier, indicating himself once over. “'I like that'?”

Roxas flushed faintly, something under the music making him shiver. “Which would you rather?”

Sora moved into the 'dance' portion of his routine now, sliding onto his knees with legs apart near the edge of the stage. He shifted onto his hands to crawl close enough to accept a tip.

Even more ill at ease, Riku wondered nonsensically if he should offer a tip before realizing he'd have to get close enough for Sora to recognize him. He watched Sora back up and slide his hands up his legs as he got to his feet again, turning and bending low to unlace his boots. He kicked them off, careful not to let them skid off the stage, and started to undo his pants. He left them like that as he moved around the stage.

Riku was weirdly possessed by the urge to go up there and stop him from removing any more.

As if to spite that urge, Sora then undid his pants the rest of the way as he reached one side of the stage. He let the crowd look and hooked his fingers into them, but turned away before he could drag them down. They slid in slow increments down his hips as Sora crossed to the other side to give the audience there the same chance to be teased.

He accepted another tip before pushing them down the rest of the way and letting them fall. They were designed to just collapse after getting to a certain part of Sora's hips to prevent awkward struggling, and the effect was a good one. Sora was down to a tiny leather garment that could have been either shorts or underwear, and some masculine-styled jewellery.

Riku covered his face.

Despite his smirk, Axel backed off. “You have a boyfriend, so I can't answer that in good conscience.”

“Just a question,” Roxas said, and took another drink. “You might as well keep me interested in conversation.”

Axel had totally forgot to keep track of the show. He was a lot more intent on Roxas. “The fire that is my ego could always use a little stoking from a hot blonde.”

Roxas snickered, leaning in. “That _was_ stoking, right? Not stroking?”

It wasn't like this could go anywhere. There was no harm in flirting back.

“Again, I know which I'd prefer,” Axel said. “But the boyfriend's still a factor.”

“Mm. Boyfriend of circumstance more like, but still a boyfriend.” Not that Roxas had any intent, but he didn't like being seen as 'Riku's', or even especially romantically linked to him.

Riku had to leave the stage as Sora collected tips and tucked them into his shorts. He needed a moment alone to collect his thoughts... and remember why he wanted to be here in the first place.

“There's a story, there,” Axel said, eyebrow raised.

Roxas shrugged. “We have... some similar interests. Just sort of happened.”

“I see. So, that thing with Xaldin... Was that cheating, or do you have some kind of open relationship?”

“Just a thing,” Roxas shrugged, and did not say _why_ he'd been making out with Xaldin. “I wouldn't be mad if he did it.”

“I see...” Axel cursed himself. Suddenly Roxas was _available_ , and he wasn't sure if it was a problem.

Sora's performance came to an end with him blowing a kiss to the audience, and then he retreated backstage. He felt unusually shaky, desperate to drink it away and hastening to redress in casual clothing.

“I'm not some predator or anything. At least, not in most senses.” Roxas finished his drink and the spiked chaser. “Thanks, though. That feels better.”

“What another, or is that outside your budget?”

“One more should do it,” Roxas said.

“On it.” Axel turned around, and absently noted that he needed to take his meds soon.

Sora bounded out of the backstage area, fully dressed if a bit childishly. He almost collided with the bar in his exuberance, a thin cover for his anxiety. “Usual, please!”

“On that, too,” Axel said, and glanced over his shoulder at Sora. “Pick up all your tips?”

“All the ones I found.” Sora displayed the handful of bills, most of them small. Roxas eyed the money first, then noted the peculiar feeling of finding Sora familiar. He couldn't remember why, though, and that was hardly unusual for him. He'd probably just encountered Sora while high.

Axel handed Roxas's drink off to him with a wink, then started on Sora's. Roxas rolled his eyes, on an idle search for a mark, though he hadn't originally come out with the intention to steal.

“Tonight felt really weird,” Sora said. He kicked his legs a little, feet not quite reaching the floor from the bar stool. “Did you see it at all?”

“I was distracted,” Axel admitted.

“Distracted? By what?”

“Hot blonde.”

“Should'a guessed,” Sora grinned, glancing over and noticing Roxas, who smirked. Axel had known full well that Roxas would hear him, but Sora wasn't sure what to say with the guy _right there._

Riku had left the washroom after liberally splashing his face with water, emerging and making a beeline for the bar. The amount of time it took him to notice that Sora wasn't on stage anymore was almost instantaneous with his discovery that Sora was, also, _right there_.

He swallowed. Then he approached anyway.

“Can I ha -”

Riku stopped and gave Axel a strange look of appraisal. Recognizing his voice immediately, Sora squeaked and lost his balance.

“Whatever you're about to say better be followed by a 'please',” Axel said, almost missing the fact that his good friend had taken a tumble off his chair. Riku was momentarily but very effectively distracted by the oddity that was _possibly_ the other bartender's twin.

“... Hey, Sora,” Riku said at last, hoping he came off as casual.

Sora staggered back up to his seat, uncertain if he wanted to run away or drink something stiffer. With horror, he realized Riku must have watched the show, and was uncharacteristically silent for having nothing to say.

“Do I need to hurt him, Sora?” Axel asked pointedly.

“I'm not going to bother him, I just want to...” Riku trailed off, not sure that 'catch up' was exactly right. Backing him up, Sora shook his head with an ever-deepening blush. Then he raised his glass in a sudden motion to drain it.

Riku sat. “What are you _doing_ here?”

Axel indicated to Sora that he'd be a moment, his timer going off under the bar. Sora was on his own.

Still afraid to speak, he pretended to linger on his empty glass.

Not understanding the significance of the timer, Roxas raised an eyebrow and tried to follow Axel with his eyes when he ducked briefly to grab his pills. When he couldn't quite see what he was doing, he shrugged it off.

“Look, if you're mad at me...” Riku started without knowing where he was going with it. If Sora was angry, he'd understand. If Sora was angry, he was sorry. If Sora was angry... Riku had done wrong. He _knew_ he'd done wrong.

“I'm not,” Sora said quietly. “Or maybe I am, but only a little bit.”

“Then are you going to talk to me?”

“I didn't want you to know. And I didn't think you ever would,” Sora mumbled. He waved for Axel's attention when he saw that he was done, wordlessly asking for another drink. Axel nodded and began preparing one.

“Riku,” Roxas interrupted. He hadn't actually been listening to their conversation. “Do you still have money on you?”

Sora looked up, not having thought they knew each other.

Riku rolled his eyes, suspecting why he'd asked. “Your next drink's on me.”

“You do love me,” Roxas said dryly.

Sora's expression was utter confusion, and he didn't notice his drink being set down in front of him.

“I'll have a beer,” Riku told Axel, getting out his wallet and glancing at Sora. “Do you want-...?”

“I've got his drinks, not necessary,” Axel cut in, a touch protective.

The dawning understanding compounded Sora's complete shock, and if not for Axel's presence, he thought he might actually drop dead on the spot. He drained his second drink as quickly as the first.

“Definitely my last one,” Roxas commented as Axel got his drink ready.

“So?” Riku prompted cautiously. “You never answered why you're working as a stripper.”

Sora answered with a question. “Is he your-...? Are you two...?”

Riku glanced at Roxas, reluctant to answer. “Yeah, sort of.”

All the more bewildered, Sora bit his lip. That didn't line up with what he'd always known about Riku, the way he was before, the fact that they hadn't worked out _because_ of... well. Just, the way Riku was didn't match the idea of him being out in public with a man. Sora finished off his drink in another long sip and got up.

“Thanks, Axel,” he said, and went on his way backstage, clearly upset.

“Sora -” Riku rose as if to follow.

“I may not have my heels, but I can improvise,” Axel said dangerously. “Sit back down.”

Roxas raised his eyebrows and nursed his drink, still content to stay out of it. Riku looked displeased, taking his beer and downing it.

“Looks like that's the end of my night.” Roxas finished off his strong drink and treated the spiked chaser as another entirely.

“Shame. I'll miss you.”

Roxas snickered. “I might be back.”

Riku rolled his eyes, quietly angry with himself. “Let's just go. And tell Sora I still want to talk to him.”

“Not a fuckin' chance. See you later, Hot Blonde,” Axel said.

Amused, Roxas snorted dismissively. “Roxas. Can I get a name? A real name?”

“Hey, 'Saph' is a real name. But my born-and-raised-male name's Axel. Memorize that.”

Riku grabbed Roxas's wrist on his way by, bringing him along with a mutter. “You can do better than him, just come on.”

Following, Roxas started to scowl. “I was just flirting. Had to pass the time somehow while you were chasing your boyfriend.”

“ _Ex_.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Just shut up...”

“Whatever.” Roxas staggered a little. He hadn't been keeping track of how much alcohol intake he'd actually had, but regardless, he still craved another high.

After that train wreck, Riku was on the same page. “When we get back to yours, you want to-...?”

“Yeah, sure,” Roxas agreed immediately. For once, he was warm with all the alcohol in his system. “We have a pretty good amount left. Found any other dealers yet?”

“No, they've got a fucking monopoly on everything good...” 'They' meaning Zexion and Lexaeus, the bodyguard at least half responsible for scaring off other dealers.

Roxas sighed. “Then we need better cash flow.”

“... I might go to Xigbar.”

“... Xigbar,” Roxas repeated. “You're going to work for Xigbar? Or are you signing me up?”

“I wouldn't _sign you up_. And maybe just a couple times,” Riku said. After many hours of desperate thought, a lot of his uncertainties and reservations had ebbed away, and the prospect had started to sound better and better. “Good money in it, and it'd get us a more steady supply.”

“Until you catch something, and then you get to explain that to your parents too and we never have sex again.”

“Then what are your genius ideas?”

“I dunno,” Roxas shot back. “If you can't steal from your parents, do they have any rich friends I can steal from?”

“You've seen my parents, do you think they have friends?”

“Fake rich people friends.”

“They barely even have those.”

“Ugh,” Roxas groaned. “I can't cast my net much farther than I have around here, and people will notice if I hit them twice.”

“Then I'll invest in protection,” Riku muttered.

Roxas sighed. “Fine. If you're so eager to whore yourself out. But I'm not sleeping with you after until you get checked out, I don't care what protection you use.”

“I don't _want_ to,” Riku snapped, “but if you didn't notice, we're running out faster and faster all the time.”

“I'm not doing any more than I used to,” Roxas claimed, though he wasn't actually sure of that.

“Either we're doing more, or he's supplying less.”

“He can't do that.”

“What are we going to do if he is, get knocked out by his guard?” Riku pointed out.

Roxas scowled. “He may be an asshole, but he's got more class than that.”

“Then we're using more,” Riku said shortly. “... We could try to cut back...”

Roxas sighed, feeling over his arm and scratching the track marks. “Yeah... we can do that. We're still doing it now, right?”

“ _Yes_.”

“Thank fucking god.”

Riku took them to the bus stop, and the trip home felt all the longer for their impatience. While they waited, Riku vented his frustrations over Sora by sucking Roxas's lower lip until it bruised, and Roxas was buzzed enough to gladly reciprocate with a competitive edge to their kisses. His inhibitions were low enough that Roxas wound up straddling Riku's lap and bucking down against him, and the two of them almost missed their stop.

“Your roommate home?” Riku asked as they approached the dingy apartment.

“He's never around these days,” Roxas shrugged. As of a few days ago, Hayner had stopped coming home as often, which might have concerned Roxas more if they weren't in the habit of always missing each other. The hours of a pair of thieves weren't great.

“Good.” Riku hooked his arms around Roxas from behind.

They separated on their way to the kitchen, speeding up. It was like the craving knew when they were close to another hit, spiking until neither one of them could keep their hands from shaking or concentrate on anything else.

The pack of heroin had been considerably depleted. Roxas fetched it and set out all the materials they'd need to liquefy the drug. “Gonna find needles...”

“I'll get this started.” Reluctantly, Riku decided to reduce the amount he was measuring.

It took Roxas far too long to get to his room, vision blurring and skewing him off-course. He almost bounced against the wall, stumbling through the doorway and finding the needles buried in a drawer. He didn't have the patience to sanitize them properly, just grabbing his lighter from his bedside table and running the flame over the points for a few seconds.

He came back to the kitchen, needles considered prepped.

“Ready yet?”

“Just about...” Riku answered, looking over his shoulder when Roxas almost crashed into the counter. “You might be too drunk for this.”

“What _ever_. I know what I can take.”

“Just don't kill yourself,” Riku muttered, and started loading up the syringes.

Roxas leaned heavily into the counter. “... Hey, Riku...”

“Hm?”

A little distant, Roxas sounded amused by his own question. “Would you be mad if I fucked someone else?”

“Depends who,” he replied. “If you went out and caught something, I'd be pissed off, but you know that.”

“I'm not stupid.”

“Then no. Why?”

“I dunno. We're dating, I guess, but I didn't really... think of that.” Words were getting harder to muster as the buzz and craving intensified.

“Dating, yeah, but it's not like we love each other.” Riku tapped the needles. “We're set.”

Roxas promptly forgot what they were talking about, struggling to start tying off his arm.

“Let me, you're going to fuck yourself up when you're this drunk...”

Only practice kept Riku from missing, his hands shaking more badly than either of them realized. Roxas murmured something, tilting his head back and slumping down the counter. He was almost too dazed to tell what was the alcohol and what was the heroin until it started really taking effect.

Riku shot up beside him, and Roxas closed his eyes.


	5. Seifer, Hayner; Xigbar, Zexion, Vexen

Tifa gave her client a kiss on the cheek before he departed. A lot of her regulars wanted to feel cared for, special, and she kept up that illusion pretty well even when her thoughts were somewhere else entirely. With the client gone, she tied her silky robe more firmly, which did very little to cover a large expanse of cleavage, and started doing as she customarily did whenever she had free time. She started down the hallway to do a quick check of the rooms.

She bypassed Kadaj's closed door, but couldn't help hearing Yazoo and Loz in there, too. She decided she didn't want to know whatever they were up to with their client, and wasn't going to interrupt even if she did care to. She moved on to the first open door she saw.

Whenever they weren't 'in use', the bedroom doors were expected to stay open. Being still new, Hayner's door was open plenty of the time, though not all. He was dealing with boredom more than clients, disallowed to come and go as he pleased, but boredom was better than the alternative. He hated every part of this job, even on the rare occasion he got a female client. He hated even more that his obvious reluctance and blatant resentment seemed to be endearing to a handful of people, those being the ones that came back for him more than once.

So he tried to enjoy his bored stupor, lying back on his bed and staring at the stucco ceiling.

Tifa knocked lightly on the open door. “You alright in here?”

Hayner had been pretty much forced into liking Tifa. There was just no way _not_ to like her -  her friendliness matched by her straightforward no-nonsense approach, and her energy levels always high without being obnoxious. He raised his head a little. “I could use a book or a board game or something.”

Tifa grinned. “That's how you get lazy. You should warm up, instead. Sweet-talk Xigbar into getting a punching bag put in.”

“I don't sweet-talk,” Hayner said, sitting up. “And what kind of crazy aggressive clients are you getting that you need to 'warm up' for?”

“I'll spare you the horror stories, for now.” Tifa leaned comfortably in the doorway, robe slipping a little. Hayner politely kept his eyes off her breasts; she got enough of that from customers.

“I'm surprised you haven't talked Xigbar into it before now,” he commended. She waved a hand.

“I just do chin-ups. Had the curtain rod in the shower reinforced, it holds my weight just fine.”

That was what he liked about Tifa the most. She was tough.

From one end of the hall, Kairi lingered to make sure her client was out of sight before rushing to Tifa, throwing herself into a hug and embracing her tightly. She was all but buried in Tifa's chest, but Tifa never seemed to mind. She wrapped one arm around Kairi.

“Was it alright? You okay?”

“I-it was the crying-fetish guy,” Kairi whimpered. Her face was still badly streaked, her make-up running and eyes lined with red.

Hayner shifted uncomfortably. As bad as it was for him, the female workers seemed to have it worse. He felt bad for her, but also grateful that he hadn't attracted any clients like that.

“He is such a creep,” Tifa frowned, and turned to hug her properly.

Sniffling, Kairi spoke between shaky inhales. “I know h-he shouldn't... get to me, but.. he says such... awful things…”

Tifa stroked her hair. “Just breathe in and out slowly, I'll talk to Xigbar...”

“Okay,” Kairi nodded a little, trying to breathe. “Thanks, Tifa.”

“We'll get you some water...” Tifa nodded to Hayner before departing, and escorted Kairi back. Hayner fell back on the bed, boredom already creeping up on him again.

Downstairs, Seifer knocked on the door to Xigbar's office, none too patient.

“... -have to try again... I'll find you a new regular. Later,” Xigbar spoke into the phone receiver and set it down, waving Seifer inside. “Hey! You're not dead.”

“Not yet. I need Rinoa.”

“Rinoa's busy,” Xigbar shrugged.

Seifer narrowed his eyes. “... For how long?”

“However long it takes. Her client pays a lot more than you ever could.”

“I'm on the fucking payroll, _Xemnas_ pays,” Seifer said shortly, irritation mounting. He'd had a difficult day, wound up with stress with no other way to vent it. He'd felt somewhat infatuated with Rinoa since his first visit to her, and didn't like to see anyone else if he could help it. But if the alternative was going home... “Just give me whoever, then. You know my type.”

“You've done the whole circuit with brown eyes, you know them.” Xigbar rubbed his scarred chin with one hand. “Oh yeah, guess not Hayner though. New kid. Kinda scrawny and scrappy.”

Seifer might have said no if he'd remembered the kid Xemnas had coerced into service. As it happened, though, he didn't. “All I care is that he's available.”

“How long d'you want him?”

“Least an hour. Maybe two.”

“Real rough day at the office, then.” Xigbar dialed Hayner's phone.

Upstairs, Hayner felt the phone vibrate and groaned. The phone had been given to him for work only, and he was never allowed to have it off. If it rang, it was because a client was about to be sent up to him. “Yeah, Xigbar?”

“Room's fourth from the stairs,” Xigbar instructed Seifer, then spoke into the phone. “Got a guy comin' to see you so make sure you've got pants on. Or not.”

Hayner rolled his eyes. He was so severely not in the mood to be fucked, but he didn't get to refuse. “Yeah, okay,” he muttered, and hung up.

Xigbar put the phone down. “All yours. Play nice. Break it, you buy it, and all that.”

“I can play nice,” Seifer said, but already had no intention to. 'Scrappy', Xigbar had said... He could work with that.

Hayner groused to himself as he opened his bedside drawer, throwing condoms and lubrication on top of it for easy access. The door opened a bit wider, and the client started to snicker.

He narrowed his eyes at Seifer, recognizing him immediately. “Not you.”

“Too late.” Seifer shut the door behind him, also having figured out where he'd seen Hayner before. “In case you haven't figured out how these interactions work, you don't get to pick and choose.”

“Figured I could go without seeing your face again, at least.” Hayner was in no way inclined to put on an act, and started to undress as angrily as someone could.

“I'd tell you to close your eyes and pretend I'm someone else, but part of your appeal's the eyes.” Seifer shrugged off his long jacket and hung it up on a hook by the door.

Hayner didn't really get what he meant by that and he didn't care to. “Won't matter in a minute. Guessing your dick looks about the same as anyone else's.” He let his shirt drop, and wondered if Seifer expected to be undressed by him, too.

“Charming,” Seifer sneered. He'd undone his jeans but left it at that. He approached the bed and pulled Hayner forward, who allowed it despite remaining stiff and visibly reluctant.

“I'm paid to fuck you, not be charming.”

Seifer ran a hand through his hair and pulled his head back sharply. “You're paid to do whatever I want.”

“Nngh-...” Hayner's glare intensified, hating that he couldn't strike back or do something about it. “So what the fuck do you want?”

Seifer searched his eyes. “... You've actually got a pretty nice face...”

Hayner was silent, nothing but anger in his expression.

Snickering, Seifer loosened his grip. “Get me hard.”

With a roll of his eyes, Hayner tugged Seifer's jeans out of the way and moved to one knee. He had an unfortunately easy time just getting over that he had to do this these days, and the only thing that made it sting was that it was _him_. He started to stroke him with unwillingly acquired practice, the other hand going to Seifer's hip.

He refused to look up at him until Seifer said, “Tilt your head up.”

Swearing silently, Hayner raised his head and narrowed his eyes. He stroked faster, annoyed that Seifer wasn't getting hard – the sooner this was over with, the better.

“Better. Slightly,” Seifer muttered. Damn it, why couldn't he just have had Rinoa like usual?

Not looking particularly affected by the commentary, Hayner squeezed and pulled aside briefly to slick his hand. That was a little better, and Seifer ran both hands roughly through Hayner's hair. The touch was becoming hotter, and Hayner was getting more inventive with it, twisting his hand with every stroke and involving his other hand.

Seifer tugged him closer. “Suck.”

He'd expected that, but it didn't make the instruction any less infuriating. Anger brought colour to Hayner's face as leaned closer and opened his mouth to take him.

He was sorely tempted to bite down.

Something about the way he was flushed with anger got to Seifer in a good way, though, and his growl was one of pleasure. He’d only intended on having Hayner blow him until he was properly hard, but he was actually starting to enjoy it despite the inexperience.

It took all of Hayner's willpower not to lash out at Seifer. He glared up at him and sucked harder than necessary, that being the only way he could take out his aggression.

That was good enough. Seifer pushed him back without being too abrupt about it, valuing his cock too much to risk jolting Hayner. He settled back on his heels, quite happy to have been pushed off, and looked to Seifer for instruction.

Seifer hauled him up. “You've got more attitude than this.”

“If I did all the things I'm thinking of doing, I risk you leaving without paying me,” Hayner sniped. Seifer's grin was almost vicious.

“You want to hit me?”

“That's underestimating it. I want to beat on you 'til I knock you out.”

“Fuckin' try me.”

Hayner hesitated, not sure that Seifer was serious. He raised a fist in warning.

Seifer just raised his eyebrows, waiting, and just like that Hayner was over his hesitation.

He struck Seifer across the jaw. Braced for it, Seifer managed not to lurch back, simply taking the blow with a smirk. He shoved Hayner back towards the bed, and spite burned in Hayner's chest. He tripped on the edge of the bed but was already aiming another punch. Seifer caught his fist, and even though he knew he couldn't bruise him up too badly without earning a spot on Xigbar's shit list, he struck back.

This was a hell of a lot better. As he was hit, Hayner rolled slightly to get on Seifer’s weaker side, jabbing an elbow into his neck. Seifer shoved at his arm, gripped it, twisted it to give himself an opening to wrestle his way on top of him. Hayner had been in plenty of dirty fights before though, and knew how to twist free and shove him back.

Seifer's exhale was almost a laugh. He rolled with the movement and retaliated by shoving him off the bed. Losing balance, Hayner slipped to the floor and took the brunt of the fall on the back of his neck.

“Fucker -” he cringed.

Immediately, Seifer straddled him and fondled his own erect cock briefly, smirking. He was considerably more out of breath – they both were – and he had no intention of letting them catch it again. He crushed his lips to Hayner's, the kiss a challenge that Hayner was too competitive not to meet. He returned the pressure against his lips forcefully.

There was a hand between Hayner's legs now as Seifer fought to dominate him. Hayner gave into the temptation to bite him, hips twitching. Seifer growled and rocked his hips down.

“Nngh-...” The sound was involuntary, and Hayner cursed himself for it. He wasn't used to making any real noises during... this, though whatever _this_ was wasn't like anything he'd done before. He didn't let any distraction interrupt the competition of the kiss, sitting up higher in trying to force Seifer back. What he got in return was a steel grip on the back of his neck, Seifer biting and sucking until Hayner's lips felt bruised. He returned every snap of teeth and sucked harshly on Seifer's tongue, his thrashing becoming somewhat muted.

Abruptly, Seifer pulled Hayner back by his hair, breaking the kiss. He made a sound of protest, opening his eyes to set his glare on him again. They were both breathing harder than before.

Seifer had only stopped things to remove his shirt. He threw it aside before seizing Hayner to recapture the kiss. Without thinking about it, Hayner's hands roamed to grab onto any part of him he could reach, short nails digging in hard and pushing aggressively into the kiss.

This was something Seifer never would have done with Rinoa and it was _hot_ \- it was turning him on more than anything else would. The heat of a rivalry went straight to his cock, and he tried to force Hayner back, grinding against him. Neither of them were paying much attention to the fact that Hayner was starting to get hard off this, himself; everything was about the challenge.

Pulling back from the kiss, Seifer abruptly shoved his palm against Hayner's chest. The movement was too quick to follow and Hayner was forced down, almost cracking his head against the floor. Growling, Hayner wiped a hand over his mouth with a defiant look on his face.

Fuck, he liked that. Seifer gave him a cocky smirk in return and thrust his hips against his again, leaning down over him to bite his lip. Blindly, he groped for Hayner's wrists and tried to pin them above his head, being fought every step of the way and having to struggle to even keep his hold. He rut and rocked against Hayner again.

“Ugh-...” Hayner snorted in disgust, pushing back against his hands with all the strength he could muster from his position. He desperately did not want to be pinned. Infuriatingly, Seifer responded by breaking the kiss and attacking his throat instead.

“No marks,” Hayner growled, hating how breathless he sounded. Seifer scowled but eased up, grazing his teeth over his throat and collarbone experimentally.

Hayner couldn't exactly tell him to stop, and was reduced to hissing when Seifer's teeth grazed a sensitive spot. He hated himself for reacting. Worse, his breath caught when Seifer started sucking lightly, fingers twitching in search of something to grab onto.

Teasing with his tongue, Seifer decided to forsake his attempts to pin his wrists and wrapped one hand around Hayner's erection instead, stroking. Unused to being on the receiving end of any pleasure, Hayner had trouble containing his reactions.

“Nn...”

Seifer nipped him before he could help himself and squeezed the base of his cock. Hayner choked on a moan and parted his legs without meaning to, sitting up slightly.

Surprisingly, Seifer backed off then. He got up to his feet and tore the wrapper of the condom with his teeth, rolling it over his shaft in a practised motion. Hayner glanced towards the bed and climbed up onto it, not interested in being any more uncomfortable than he had to be.

It was a shame. For a second, he'd managed to forget this part was going to happen.

Seifer turned back towards him and pushed him down on the mattress. Hayner glared at him, but didn't make any move to try to get away.

“How bad do you hate me, right now?” Seifer asked, starting to slick his fingers with lube and prompting Hayner's legs apart.

“More than when you had a gun to my head,” Hayner growled.

Snickering, Seifer worked two fingers inside of him. Hayner bit down on his tongue, not breaking his glare.

Leaning in close enough to kiss him, Seifer muttered, “Don't fake anything. If you want to swear at me, I don't give a fuck. Just none of those forced porn star moans I know you're probably trained to do. I don't want to hear it.”

“Fine, if you're going to tip the same-...” Hayner's voice broke slightly when Seifer twisted his fingers, and thrust them in harder.

“I just want to know that when I make you scream, it's because I fucking _made_ you and you're pissed at yourself for not holding it back.”

Hayner snarled. “Like hell you will.”

“We'll see.”

Seifer's fingers twisted again and Hayner's back arched off the bed, not used to the rough handling he was getting in tandem with pleasure. He'd found his prostate and Hayner twitched up towards him, biting down hard to stifle a sound and trying to pass it off as going to hit him again.

With a smirk, Seifer hit that spot again. Hayner muffled another sound behind his teeth, eyes burning.

It didn't escape Seifer's notice, and he caught Hayner by the mouth with a fierce kiss, rendering him too busy to hold back noises. Hayner returned the contact forcefully, unable to compete with him any other way. He hated Seifer so much, hated the way he tasted, hated that the attention to his prostate was making his cock throb with heat.

They both tasted blood and neither of them knew whose it was. Seifer stretched him further and pressed a third finger inside.

“Ngh...” The sound was more vibration than anything. Hayner slid his arms around Seifer and dug his nails in hard.

The slight sting wasn’t unwelcome, but Seifer retaliated all the same. All three fingers thrust up against Hayner's sweet spot. He tensed, head falling back and breaking the kiss, nails dragging up over Seifer's shoulders.

“F'ck...”

“Ngh... That's good enough,” Seifer declared, removing his fingers and grabbing the bottle of lube. Hayner let his hands fall back to the bed, satisfied over wounding him a little. He stared at the opposite wall while Seifer slicked himself, trying to look as reluctant as he felt.

“Look at me, still want to see your eyes,” Seifer demanded. He wiped his hands carelessly on the bed sheers, then pressed Hayner's legs up and further apart. Hayner obliged but shoved him once with his foot before allowing Seifer to move his legs.

Seifer sneered, and then eased his cock inside of him.

Hayner's breath caught, still glaring stubbornly despite a good deal of concentration going into relaxing his muscles. “ _Nn_...”

“Good, still tight,” Seifer exhaled, trying to rile him into being even angrier. “Haven't been _that_ used yet...”

“ _Fuck_ you.” Hayner forced himself up to shove Seifer's chest.

Laughing, Seifer kissed him violently again, starting to drive his hips forward and thrust himself in deep. Hayner's fury flared every time Seifer laughed, and he broke away from the kiss out of spite.

He shut his eyes briefly. Even now, he was hardly _used_ to this.

Annoyed over Hayner closing his eyes, Seifer changed his angle to hit his prostate with his thrusts, and it caught Hayner off guard enough to groan sharply. He immediately started to turn red, stunned that _that_ sound had come out of him.

“Better,” Seifer muttered roughly, and hit that spot again. And again.

Hayner swore louder than he liked, his legs shaking. He couldn't help his reaction every time Seifer pressed there, and he was going harder and faster, forcing Hayner back a little more with each powerful thrust. He tried to keep himself steady and avoid reacting, but that was becoming impossible when Seifer _wouldn't stop_ assaulting those _amazing_ nerves.

“Mmn-... shit-...”

“Fuck,” Seifer groaned quietly, liking the sound of his voice more than he thought he would.

Hayner hadn't expected him to make sounds like that, if any at all. He fought to keep his eyes open and on him. “Ah-!”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Seifer repeated, more emphatic and breathless, and he started to stroke Hayner in time with his thrusts.

He would hate himself for the rest of his life for it, but Hayner moaned louder than he could ever recall doing. He slowly started to move against him, and Seifer was too caught up in pleasure to want to antagonize him more.

Hayner winced when Seifer picked up his pace, but he was too proud to tell him to slow down. Surprisingly, Seifer picked up on it and leaned over him, eyes narrow.

“Hurt?”

“Like you give a shit,” Hayner fired back.

“I can't get off on it if you are, dipshit, so just tell me.”

“I'm not going to fucking break.”

Seifer thrust into him _hard_. “Yeah?”

“ _Fuck_ -...” Hayner shuddered, back arching and tensing. Leering, Seifer resumed moving into him, and Hayner glared back with nothing but hate. He propped himself up on his elbows, Seifer's body forcing his knees right up to his chest. “ _Nngh_ -!”

“Tell me if it's too much for you, lamer, can't go and wreck you for the next paying customer,” Seifer goaded, but it was too harsh to be anything but serious.

“I'll f-fucking punch you if it hurts that bad, asshole.” Hayner was still in some pain every time he was taken, but it was never more than he could put up with.

Seifer smirked, mollified. “Good.”

He set a pace for himself that he could get off to and still aimed for that angle, stroking Hayner just to prove how he owned his body. Hayner needed to constantly remind himself not to close his eyes, gripping the covers and letting sounds spill from his mouth with embarrassing frequently. He tightened around Seifer every time he hit the perfect spot.

“Fuck-... _Fuck_...”

“Nngh...” Seifer teased the head, stroked him faster, and Hayner shivered. Clients hardly ever touched him like this. His head spun, and for a long moment he forgot to glower at Seifer.

Seifer wanted to kiss him again. He couldn't, not without bending him in half, so he didn't try. Instead Seifer concentrated on holding back his orgasm, which annoyed Hayner to no end. Grudgingly, Hayner knew he was close to his own climax but he wasn't supposed to cum before his client, if he did at all. Hands moved up to use Seifer's arms for support instead, clawing long scratches in them with a moan that rang in his ears.

That did it, though. It pushed Seifer over the brink, and he only lasted a few more thrusts before spilling over the edge hard.

“ _Fuck!”_

Hayner bucked hard almost in the same moment, relief flooding him and white spilling over Seifer's hand. His eyes closed and his head fell back sharply, nearly connecting with the headboard.

With a groan, Seifer got up off him promptly and removed the condom. Hayner unwillingly flinched when he pulled out so suddenly, slumping back to the mattress.

How long had they been fucking? It felt like ages.

“Ugh...”

Tying off the condom and throwing it away, Seifer grabbed his clothing and started to redress. “Fuck, I needed that...” he muttered to himself, then glanced back at Hayner. “You're not half bad, lamer.”

“Fuck off. I don't need to be told I'm good at being a hooker.”

“How's this – you're a better hooker than thief.”

Hayner threw the first thing his hand found. Seifer barely dodged the bottle of lubrication, and snickered at him.

“Playtime's over, lamer, now you've got to rein it in like a good little whore.” Seifer went for the door.

“Go fuck yourself,” Hayner snarled.

“Got you for that.” Seifer removed a bill from his wallet and crumpled it, casually tossing it at Hayner on his way out the door. Hayner threw the pillow at the door after him, then limped over to grab the bill.

He'd never met anyone more infuriating, but at least the fucker tipped well.

Seifer passed Xigbar's closed door, a sure sign that he was in a meeting or otherwise didn't want to be disturbed. It was just as well; Seifer was in a good mood, now, and he didn't want to ruin that by interacting with _him_.

Inside, Zexion sat across from Xigbar, his wares laid out of the table. Lexaeus stood behind Zexion, stone-faced, and Luxord lingered by the door, throwing occasional glances at them.

“Ten grand,” Xigbar said.

“No.”

“As if. We're buddies, aren't we?” Xigbar wheedled. “You can gimme a deal on a work expense.”

“I would like to see you write this off on your taxes,” Zexion replied evenly. “It's twelve-point-five, or I'm leaving.”

Xigbar groaned, and again tried to bargain, “I think Xemnas might -”

“Xemnas won't trifle with things like this.”

The door was unceremoniously thrown open. Vexen had parked his car a respectable distance away from the innocuous-looking brothel, and was in a positively terrible mood. That much was evident just by the scowl contorting his face, but Luxord chose to comment regardless.

“Little rude, we have a meeting in progress...”

“We're a bit busy,” Xigbar said, his brief alarm having lasted the span of a second until he saw it was only Vexen. “I'll take your order in a minute.”

“I think we're just about done here,” Zexion said, tone still inscrutable. He gestured subtly to Lexaeus, whose even stare had never once shifted from Xigbar.

Vexen appraised Zexion with a touch of hope. “Is this a new worker of yours?” he asked, until his eyes strayed to the drugs.

Recognizing the voice (though he hadn't expected it _here_ ), Zexion turned sharply. “Hello, Professor.”

Vexen was taken aback to recognize the top student in all of his graduate classes. “Ah... Zexion.”

Lexaeus clearly didn't think Vexen posed a threat, and went about packing up the case on the desk. His eyes were still on Xigbar.

“Hey, don't pack up,” Xigbar groaned. “I'll give you the twelve an'a half. For now.”

Zexion signalled again to Lexaeus. “Excellent.”

Vexen watched money change hands with surprise; he had been under the impression that Zexion was an innocent, studious youth. Xigbar unlocked a drawer and extracted thirteen wrapped stacks of bills, one of which he separated in half. He passed Zexion the money, Lexaeus's hands remaining on the case until Zexion had finished counting it.

“No worries, right?” Xigbar leaned back, waiting to take the case.

“No. It's a pleasure.” Zexion handed the money over to Lexaeus for safe keeping, and Lexaeus slid the case over to Xigbar.

“Thanks, big guy.” Xigbar got up to stow the case in his safe.

Zexion rose to leave, and was caught by Vexen, who looked him over with a newfound intrigue.

“I don't suppose you'd spare me from being a patron of this place...”

Lexaeus forcibly removed Vexen from Zexion's arm.

“Excuse me?” Zexion's tone was icy with forced patience.

“Given how little attention of an... unprofessional nature I'm permitted to give a student, I feel rather like I missed an opportunity.” Vexen's eyes obviously roamed over him. “You're an attractive young man.”

Zexion disliked the feeling of eyes on him. “Do not test the respect I have for you as an academic.”

Practised at stepping between Zexion and others, Lexaeus moved surprisingly smoothly despite his bulk, intercepting any further looks from Vexen.

“... Very well, then,” Vexen said, less than pleased. Luxord had a mocking smirk on his face, and he did not try to hide it in the face of Vexen's glower.

Zexion left the brothel with Lexaeus in tow, walking out the doors to a building that looked like nothing more than an upscale motel and paying no attention to the busker on the street corner. Hyper-aware of the money Lexaeus was carrying, Zexion felt no need to indulge the city beggars regardless.

Lexaeus opened the car door and allowed Zexion to slide into his seat in the back, and the two of them drove away.

On his corner, Demyx looked down at his empty guitar case, and sighed.


	6. Roxas, Riku, Axel, Sora; Kairi, Namine

The instant Roxas regained awareness of himself, he knew he’d fucked up.

He remembered closing his eyes on his kitchen floor, a blissful relief, then nothing. It wasn’t that it was uncommon to wake up somewhere entirely different from where he last remembered; This was different.

In the hours that followed, he pieced together what had happened from nurses, technicians, and finally Riku, himself. He’d blacked out almost immediately after shooting up, and once Riku realized he wasn’t waking up, he panicked and brought Roxas to the hospital. That had been three days ago. He’d been in a coma for almost seventy-two hours while they pumped his stomach and treated him for severe dehydration.

Once he was conscious enough to sit up and answer questions, the stay was short; Roxas had no insurance, nor plans to check into rehab, so nothing more could be done for him. He endured a lecture from the resident addictions counsellor, but they both knew he couldn’t be forced to do anything, and ultimately he was discharged with a warning that if he mixed alcohol and heroin again, he would almost certainly end up back in intensive care.

Ditch booze, or give up getting high. It wasn’t even a choice.

Mere hours after regaining consciousness, Roxas was allowed to leave with Riku. On his way out, he was given some handwritten prescriptions and a leaflet for a supposedly cheap support group, all of which was promptly trashed outside the automatic front doors. Like he could pay for any of that. The cost of Roxas's brief admittance was already through the roof, condemning them to sink deeper into debt.

Riku resisted going anywhere or doing much of anything while Roxas was recovering from his overdose, and decided to just be relieved the consequences weren't worse.

He desperately needed a drink to deal with the stress, though. When he next visited the strip club, it was with less intention of seeing Sora, and more for the reasonably priced drinks.

Roxas went with him, looking worse for wear. The hospital bracelet was still on his wrist, poorly covered by a checkered wristband when he failed to tear the plastic off. He was thinner, felt colder than he should be, and the idea of drinking repulsed him, but he couldn't stay at home and recover for as long as he probably should have. He had to steal something small and insanely valuable to make up for the lack of activity and looming hospital bills.

They walked in towards the end of one of Sora's routines, and for a change, Riku barely noticed.

“Don't overdo it,” Riku muttered, squeezing Roxas's arm. They may not have had a conventional relationship – or anything apart from drugs and sex, for that matter – but he was still more concerned than he wanted to admit.

Roxas rolled his eyes, not quite touched by the display. “I'll be careful.”

He needed to blend. Luckily, Riku was on his way to the bar without another word, giving Roxas plenty of opportunity to do what he needed to do.

Sora shimmied out of his pants onstage, and Riku glimpsed the movement. He wished he hadn't. The thing was, Sora had worried for days that Riku would return, but had started to let his guard down when he didn't see him for a while.

At the bar, Axel was deep into his 'Saph' persona, hair sleek and in a dress so mini it was nearly indecent. He set up a line of shots for some men who were already somewhere between 'drunk' and 'smashed'. Axel pretended he didn't see one of them leering at his legs and went to grab himself a glass of water.

He set it down when Riku approached, unimpressed. “I thought you gave up.”

Riku slid onto a bar stool. “Just give me something strong.”

Roxas was having an easy time picking up valuables left on tables or dropped, shoving his findings into his clothes. He needed to move onto harder targets now, bigger prizes, and so he zeroed in on a guy who looked susceptible to flirtation.

Collecting his tips, Sora waved to the crowd on his way out, in a pretty good mood.

“No boyfriend tonight?” Axel questioned, preparing the same drink he usually reserved for Roxas. He gave the club a very quick sweep with his eyes, but didn't spot Roxas among the throngs of people.

“He isn't drinking,” Riku replied coolly. He accepted the drink and slid cash over to Axel, immediately taking a large swig and grimacing. “Shit-... Do you have a-...”

Axel set down the chaser without a word. He'd spotted Sora, and unlike usual, he didn't go straight to the bar. He knew why, though, and didn't feel it was cause for concern. Besides, he'd finally glimpsed blonde hair and picked Roxas out of the crowd with ease. He was laughing at something some guy was saying, but shying away from his touch.

“Kairi!” Sora met her with a hug. Kairi wasn't often allowed to show her face in the club now, as Xigbar wanted his workers to seem 'classier' than a strip joint like this. She hugged him back with a smile on her face.

Riku downed his chaser and turned to watch Sora. Annoyingly, he had a reflexive twitch of jealousy in his gut upon seeing him wrapped around a girl, but he shook that off quickly.

“Shouldn't you be keeping more of an eye on your actual boyfriend?” Axel kept eyeing the exchange between Roxas and the drunk pawing at him.

Riku barely heard him.

At last, Sora pulled away from the hug. “Are you okay? How is it there? Do they take care of you? How's Namine?”

“Slow down, Sora,” Kairi said. “I'm fine. I have everything I need and I'm making better money.”

“But at you _okay,_ really?” Sora asked, a little frantic. “Do they make you do anything bad?”

“I can say 'no' when I need to,” Kairi reassured Sora. “I've got pretty good protection, even if it's not as good as Axel and Xaldin. I've even got a phone.” She dug into her pocket and pulled out the very basic device. “Axel's around tonight, right?”

Sora beamed, worry settling. “Yeah, just over there.” He took Kairi's hand to lead her to the bar, oblivious to the fact that Riku was still watching.

At the other end of the bar, Roxas didn't fight being pinned to the wall, slumping. He felt sick, but all the same, he managed to slip a hand into the man's pocket and remove some cash and an mp3 player.

Axel signalled to Xaldin, deciding Riku was useless when it came to defending his significant other. He promptly went to intimidate the drunk, but didn't recognize Roxas.

Riku turned his head to Axel again. “Another one of... whatever you gave me...”

He was tempted to tell Riku 'no' just because he annoyed him, but Axel got started on it anyway. Sora approached the bar with a big smile, not yet noticing Riku.

“Look who I found,” he announced.

Axel paused partway through mixing. “About _time_ ,” he declared, sizing up Kairi. “I thought you'd moved on permanently to greener pastures. They _are_ greener, aren't they?” Axel narrowed his eyes. “Or should I burn someone? You're okay?”

Kairi gave them each an exasperated smile. “Sora already put me through the interrogation. I'm fine. It's not that bad.”

Sora frowned. “I just wish you didn't have to... I mean, stripping is one thing, but...”

“You work for Xigbar?” Riku broke in, making no secret of his eavesdropping. Sora almost slid off his stool again.

Axel set down Riku's drink, sans chaser. “ _That_ was rude.”

“Why do you ask?” Kairi asked, a little colder. If this guy was about to offer her money, she swore...

Riku opened his mouth to ask – how did someone approach Xigbar, was it really that bad, was it safe – but he didn't ask those questions. He didn't want Sora to know he'd fallen far enough to consider prostitution. “Forget it.”

Kairi relaxed, glad he wasn't trying to hire her while she was with Sora. She'd made sure she wouldn't have to work again tonight, and no one would pry her from her friends during off hours.

“Instead of hitting on my friends, can you do me a personal favor and check on your boyfriend? He looks like he's about to pass out,” Axel said. Sora stared mutely at the bar.

“I wasn't _hitting on_ -...” Riku stopped himself, briefly glaring at Axel before looking around for Roxas. He spotted him leaving another target, tired of how the man kept asking if he was alright, and went to lean heavily against the wall. He didn’t look well at all.

Roxas closed his eyes to make the lights stop stretching into long squiggles, and repeated to himself that he just needed to rest for a minute.

Riku tossed his drink back and nearly forgot to pay before going to him.

“What's going on?” Kairi asked, feeling protective. She'd figured out easily that there was some history there between Sora and the stranger.

“Sora's ex who doesn't know how to be polite to bar staff,” Axel supplied, watching Riku go.

Kairi looked at Sora, going to hug him. “The big one?”

“The big one,” he confirmed, voice small.

Riku approached and spoke up over the music. “Roxas.”

“Mm?” Unwillingly, Roxas opened his eyes. He was shivering.

“I think I should get you home...”

“Just need to... for a minute,” Roxas replied vaguely. His skin was burning up, but he felt so cold. “I haven't got enough yet...”

“You look like _hell_ ,” Riku countered.

“They let me out of the hospital, I'm good.”

“That doesn't mean you're good, it just means you aren't in immediate danger – come home with me.” Riku prompted him to get up. Roxas groaned, but was too tired to protest. He let Riku help him and wrapped his arms around him, either too weak or oddly affectionate.

Riku practically carried him to the exit, and Sora couldn't help but watch them go. Axel had his eye on them as well, a little attached to Roxas and consequently concerned.

“... You still like him?” Axel asked, glancing at Sora.

“Not really,” Sora said, still down. “I mean, I did like him a lot before. I thought I even loved him, but he wasn't... like that before. He'd _never_ be open about it.”

“He's plenty open now,” Axel said, a little disdainful. “Ogling strippers at the club with his boyfriend.”

Sora put his head down. “I don't get it. He wouldn't even say I was his boyfriend in private. Like his parents could hear him from everywhere.”

“... Well, it's obvious what you should do,” Axel said.

“It is?”

“You confront him, and I set his house on fire.”

“We can't do anything illegal,” Sora protested. Kairi cleared her throat and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Don't be judgmental against those of us in a less-than-legal type of work,” Axel teased.

“We can't do anything illegal in revenge,” Sora corrected himself.

“Fine, but you _should_ still confront him.”

“But I don't even want to talk to him,” Sora said, shaking his head.

“Well, it's up to you... but if _my_ ex was walking around out and proud after burning me like that, I'd say something.” Hell, Axel _had_ said something. It was part of the reason he and Saix didn't talk anymore.

“I don't know what I’d get from it,” Sora sighed. “He's got someone, and I’m not sure I'd even want to try being friends with him.”

“He seems like a prick to me, so no loss,” Axel shrugged.

“I don't even know what he is.” Sora buried his head in his arms.

Kairi rubbed his back. “You sure you don't want some kind of revenge?”

“Or at least closure,” Axel said.

“He already knows I'm a stripper now. Our relationship can't get much worse.”

“There's nothing wrong with being a stripper,” Axel spoke in his friends' defence. “I'd do it, if the shock wouldn't kill most audiences.”

Sora laughed weakly. “At least some of them would appreciate it.”

“Anyway, who's he to judge? He's here _watching_ strippers,” Kairi pointed out.

“Exactly. Listen to the girl, she speaks sense,” Axel agreed.

Sora shifted from the countertop to lean into Kairi's shoulder, sighing. “You're right.”

“... Want another drink?”

“Yeah,” he sulked.

Axel started to pour him one.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been an even better night than Kairi could have hoped for.

After the drama of Sora’s love life had run dry as a topic, the three of them had been able to honestly catch up, talk about anything and nothing. Axel confessed to having a crush on Riku’s boyfriend, but knew better than to do anything more than flirt. Sora had to leave the bar a couple times to perform again, and Axel was regularly called away to take drink orders, but even with both of them occupied Kairi found more of her old co-workers to talk to.

It felt good, to be reminded that she had belonged somewhere not long ago, that people still remembered and cared about her. She enjoyed a few drinks with friends, and let everything else be forgotten for a while.

She took off just before last call, knowing Axel was about to be swamped, but promised she wouldn’t take as long to stop by again. On her walk home, she felt lighter and warmer than she had in ages.

Approaching her shared apartment, Kairi could hear something through the door. She fumbled and messed around with the bad lock and finally managed to wrench it open after about thirty seconds, the paper bag under her arm giving off uncomfortable heat. Kairi let the door shut after her and hastily put the bag down on the table, recognizing the beeping for what it was now that she could hear it clearly.

“Namine? Your alarm...”

It didn't take long to find her. The apartment wasn't very big, and the tiny second bedroom that served as Namine's art studio was the only place she _could_ be.

Kairi stopped in the doorway and sighed.

She was sprawled on the floor half-draped over a canvas that was a swirl of pastel colours. Namine had that glazed look that told Kairi she was on the tail-end of her hallucinatory high, and probably had no concept of how long Kairi had been gone or where the beeping was coming from. Namine didn't even look up, pressing her nails lightly into the indistinct picture she'd created.

Kairi turned back around to grab her medication and shut off the alarm, returning within moments. Kneeling down beside her, she gently pried Namine off the canvas.

“Namine?”

Pliant, Namine draped herself around Kairi instead, her murmur distant. “I think I dreamed-...” she began, then trailed off.

Kairi nodded, supporting her with her shoulder as she picked up the pills and water again. “I need you to drink this.”

Namine sat up a little more and stared down at the pills, studying them. She'd forgotten what they were for – she could almost place it...

Holding the first up to her lips, Kairi decided just to worry about getting them in her mouth. She could usually be relied on to get them down on her own.

“Don't trust the color,” Namine mumbled, tilting her face away. Kairi withheld another sigh, following her lips.

“It's good. Trust me.”

“It's _wrong_ ,” Namine protested more emphatically. “If I can paint over it -”

Kairi set the pill down to pick up another. “What about this one?” She figured Namine would get over the color 'being wrong' once she was distracted. Namine eyed it for a long moment.

“... Better...” Namine reached for it, taking the pill and putting it in her mouth after a beat.

“Drink?” Kairi lifted the cup to her lips. Namine sipped at it, and she waited for her to be done before asking, “Did you swallow it?”

She nodded, opening her mouth to show Kairi.

“That's good,” Kairi smiled at her, picking up another pill. “This one?”

Namine accepted that one too, then rested her head against Kairi's shoulder once she'd swallowed it. “... My head is so heavy...”

Kairi pet her hair gently. “I know. Just a couple more.”

She fed the remaining pills to Namine that way, helping her through them one at a time. Namine seemed to become more listless, leaning into Kairi entirely once she'd taken them all, only to sit up suddenly and study her intently, stroking Kairi's hair. Namine looked into her eyes and then at the canvas, sighing mournfully and knocking the indistinct picture away.

“Hey...” Kairi tried to keep her close and focused. “You were really productive today.”

“It's _all wrong_...” Tears welled up in Namine's eyes, and she buried her face against Kairi's shoulder. “I'm sorry.”

“There's nothing wrong with it,” Kairi soothed, rubbing her back.

“No, _no_ , it's all wrong. I have to redo it...” Namine was obviously trying not to cry.

“Shh...” Kairi resumed petting her hair. “You can draw something else tomorrow. Can you stand up?”

Namine didn't answer, instead murmuring, “But what if this is the _one_...? And then you won't have to, anymore...”

Kairi didn’t challenge that. She knew Namine needed that thought to hold onto. Most days, the certainty that she would create her magnum opus and sell it for enough to solve all their problems was the only thing keeping her alive. “You'll know when it's the one,” she told her, and glanced over at her work space. “Some of your crayons are broken...”

“Pastels,” Namine said, sounding distant again as she stood up.

“I'll get new ones.” Kairi stood up with her.

They’d have to come from the dollar store, but she didn’t think Namine would complain, if she noticed at all.

“Okay...”

“I brought food.” Kairi didn't bother to ask if she was hungry, knowing Namine didn't notice that sort of thing in this state.

“Oh-...” Namine nodded, smoothing down her paint-stained dress. She'd forgotten to eat all day. She let herself be led to the table and sat down when Kairi pulled a chair out for her.

Kairi set out the food from the take out containers and tried not to cringe when she sat down. Namine noticed, but forgot what that might mean within seconds.

“... How was it, today?” Namine crossed her ankles and looked through the take-out containers.

“It was alright. I had Tifa there,” she answered, never giving answers with much description.

Namine nodded. She barely remembered who Tifa was but decided it was a good thing, that she was present. The two of them lapsed into silence as they started picking at food, neither one of them having much of an appetite.

Kairi looked for something to talk about other than her job or Namine's drawing. “So... Sora wants to see you again. When you're ready, I mean. He understands... and Axel does too. Axel probably more than anyone.”

Eyes lowered guiltily, Namine nodded. “... Yeah. I really should see them, I suppose...”

“Everyone misses you. And you know Sora, he can't get by without your help.”

“I'm not very helpful to anyone, like this,” Namine murmured.

“Sure you are. Just talk to him when you're not... doing your art.”

Namine twirled a strand of hair uncomfortably. She was starting to sober up, enough to be ashamed that she'd been high in the first place.

Kairi smiled encouragingly. “I bet he'd appreciate your advice. He's having trouble with some guy.”

“There's a guy?” Namine glanced up, head tilted in concern.

“Yeah, an ex.”

“... It's not _the_ ex, is it?”

“It's _the_ ex.”

“Oh... Poor Sora.” Namine bit her lip.

“I don't really know what this guy wants,” Kairi said, poking her ginger chicken, “but he's been showing up at Sora's performances, and apparently he's already got a boyfriend, so maybe he just wants to talk, but Sora _won't_.”

“Maybe... I can stop by...”

Kairi’s heart leapt. “Really? That'd be great,” she smiled. “He'd totally appreciate that.”

“I hope I won't embarrass him...”

Kairi got up to hug her. “You won't. Sora and Axel will be so happy to see you.”

Namine hugged her more tightly, now, more conscious of herself. Her head had stopped spinning. Kairi ran her fingers through Namine's hair and hoped this was progress.

“I don't know what I'd do without you,” Namine murmured, almost inaudible.

Kairi closed her eyes. “I feel the same.”

She shouldn't feel the same. Namine felt horribly guilty, knowing how much of a burden she'd become.

“You should eat,” Kairi said, kissing her forehead.

“... Okay.”

Kairi just looked at her again for a long moment. “I know what you're thinking.”

Namine glanced away and pulled one of the take out containers towards herself. “What do you mean...?”

“You're not a burden. I don't think of you that way.”

“... I'll try harder, I will,” Namine said, because she couldn't think of anything else to do.

Kairi sat down and reached across the table, holding her hand. “I believe in you.”

Namine nodded with a very small smile, but privately thought how much better Kairi's life would be once she wasn't in it, anymore.


	7. Xigbar, Zexion, Demyx; Axel, Roxas

“All I'm saying is, we could make a lot more money, that's all... We both got addicts, why not get 'em hooked on both?”

Xigbar walked alongside Zexion, pitching his idea to have the seemingly infinite number of addicts that came crawling out of the woodwork invested in the oldest profession. Zexion sighed, keeping much closer to Lexaeus than Xigbar, for he was not fond of his company outside of 'work'. Lexaeus, for his part, kept silent and walked a half-step behind.

“I agree it could prove lucrative,” Zexion said. “Until the rate of HIV skyrockets with all this sharing, my clients start dying off, and you lose credibility.”

“As if. I got someone who can cater to that, and sick people need even more sex and drugs. Fact,” Xigbar exclaimed. “And hey, maybe then you can start peddling meds, too. No prescription needed.”

Zexion narrowed his eyes. “You know I won't deal in legitimate medicine.”

Despite the nature of his profession, Zexion was a patron of science first, and he wouldn’t pay insult to innovators of biochemistry by touting their creation as a cheap thrill.

“Alright, alright! Don't bite off my head or nothin'. Hey, I know. We could call it our 'Hit it and Hit it' deal.”

“You are disgusting.”

Lexaeus was impassive, but privately shared the sentiment.

“You already sell to my employees, and my clients who work for the Big Guy,” Xigbar argued, turning the corner.

“You forget that I have no wish to be tied to your 'business', in the public eye.”

As though to punctuate that point, Lexaeus audibly cracked his knuckles.

“Don't go getting elitist on me. Your stuff is as bad as mine,” Xigbar said.

“Worse,” Zexion corrected, “but cleaner.”

Xigbar was about to respond, but paused upon hearing strains of music. “Hey, come this way.”

Zexion raised an eyebrow, suspicious. On the same wavelength, Lexaeus steered Zexion just a step away from Xigbar without having to touch him, never doing so unless invited to. Regardless of whether or not they followed, Xigbar went looking for the source of the familiar notes.

Demyx had just finished tuning his guitar as a break from playing, his fingertips aching from cold, but started to pick up to a melody when he spotted people coming down the way. It wasn't something recognizable, save to those who saw him regularly – a song he'd written himself.

“Dem!” Xigbar announced his presence with a wide grin. Demyx looked up and brightened.

“Hi!”

“Haven't seen you in forever, buddy! Keeping safe? Making money?” He threw that last one in as more of a jab, still trying to steer him towards the brothel at every opportunity.

Demyx pouted a little. “Yes, and no but I'm _working_ on it.”

Assessing him quickly, Lexaeus determined he wasn't a threat and glanced at Zexion.

“Well, maybe if you're nice enough to me we can talk about getting you a place for tonight...”

“Is that the only point of this detour?” Zexion interrupted.

Distracted from answering Xigbar, Demyx looked at Zexion for the first time and missed a note.

“C'mon, this is Demyx. Part of the street branch,” Xigbar said, gesturing to Demyx.

“I see.”

“Just kidding!” Xigbar started to laugh. “He's, like, an old friend of mine. Wants to make it big as a rock star.”

Demyx flushed. “Y-yeah, I'm not a-... Demyx. That's me. Um, Xiggy just said that...” he laughed lamely.

“It's a pleasure,” Zexion said tonelessly, not caring in the least unless he happened to be buying. He was not impressed that he'd been dragged into Xigbar's attempt to get Demyx into his apartment for the night.

“Be nice to the kid,” Xigbar coaxed. “He's doing the whole starving artist thing.”

Demyx blushed that much more, averting his eyes. “How d'you know Xiggy?” he asked Zexion.

Xigbar answered instead. “He's kinda like a business partner. We help each other out.”

“I don't work for him,” Zexion clarified coldly.

“Oh, good – not that there's anything wrong with-... I didn't mean it like that.” Demyx cleared his throat.

Zexion didn't respond, giving Demyx a very critical once-over. “... Is that all, Xigbar?”

“Um – wait.” Demyx kind of just wanted to keep him around for longer, intrigued by the stranger. “You didn't say your name...?”

“Oh, that's Zexy,” Xigbar said.

“ _Zexion_.”

It was too late for the correction; Demyx had latched to 'Zexy'. He grinned genuinely. “S'nice to meet you.”

Zexion just nodded. He wasn't sure what to think of him, aside from the fact that he seemed honestly too good to dislike at a glance.

“I'll, uh-... Well, I don't know if I'd see you around, but, I hope I do? Sometime?” Demyx found him _fascinating_ , something about him mysterious and attractive.

Xigbar recognized that look, having been on the receiving end when they first met as well. “Well, you can always find him at the bondage club place downtown a few nights a week. Or you could hang out at the 'shop' more often, he's sure to stop by.” Really, he just wanted Demyx in the brothel more.  “Unless you're interested in coming back to my place now, Zex -”

“I'm going now,” Zexion said, icy.

“Later, Zexy,” Demyx gave him a tentative smile.

“Think about my offer!” Xigbar called after him.

“I'll consider it,” Zexion answered, though at this very moment considering telling Lexaeus to give him a 'warning' for even _suggesting_...

They walked away, back in the direction of the club where the car had been parked.

“If he makes any move in that direction again, I want you to start breaking fingers,” Zexion instructed quietly, “One for each proposition.”

Lexaeus nodded, glancing once back at Xigbar. He was still chatting up the homeless guitarist.

“Understood.”

 

* * *

 

Sora drank three shots, one after the other.

Observing and gathering the empty glasses, Axel wiped the counter in front of him as the glasses were blasted with cleansing water. He wasn't in drag tonight, but that didn't stop him from wearing a pair of stilettos anyway. “You're putting these away easier all the time.”

The shots had been to boost Sora's confidence pre-show, but they never worked as quickly as he wished they would. Sora shrugged. “Everything I'm not s'pposed to do is easier now.”

“I'm a terrible influence. Want one more, or do you think you're good?”

“At least that many more, then I'm good,” Sora said.

Axel prepared another straight shot. “You're doing better all the time, y'know.”

“You're just saying that. I'm not cut out for this...”

He smirked. “No, you’re not. You've got 'looking cute' down, 'taking your clothes off' fairly practised, but the rest... Well, you're better.”

Sora pouted and took the shot. “I don't think 'cute' is the point.”

“It is, for some people. I can get off on 'cute'.”

Sora felt his cheeks heat up. “But not _my_ kind, right?”

“Let's not go there,” Axel grinned, and winked at him. “Fills me with longing, thinking 'bout what we could've had.”

“I'm too tipsy for you to mess with me like that!” Sora groaned. “Just one more.”

Axel laughed and poured him one more shot. Sora drank it quickly, the other strippers at the bar starting to get up to go backstage.

“Thanks, Axel.”

“Go get 'em.” Axel leaned over the bar and slapped Sora's ass. He squeaked and jumped forward.

“Axel!”

Axel just smirked. “Good luck,” he called, gathering the empty glasses from around the bar. From several feet back, Roxas watched with raised eyebrows.

He hadn't known where else to go but _here_. He hadn't come out with the intention of drinking or stealing (unless the target was incredibly easy), just needing to get out of his lonely apartment. He'd kicked Riku out, sick of his hovering at the moment, but being alone just reminded him of his unsatisfied addiction. Roxas was slightly relieved to see Axel at the bar, and took a seat once the employees had scattered.

Once he was done with the first round of clean-up, Axel grinned at Roxas and came over. “Hey. The get-drunk-fast special?”

“Nah,” Roxas shook his head. “I'm just taking up space to annoy people.”

“Don't downplay your important role of being eye-candy,” Axel said. “Anything at all I can give you?”

Roxas returned his grin and glanced Axel over. He was kind of pleased to see him not in drag tonight, not that he would have minded either way, but the leather he was wearing was hot. “I can think of a few things, but I guess I'll take a water.”

“I never said it had to be a drink,” Axel snickered, getting him some ice water.

“You can be entertaining company.” Roxas leaned forward. It was a shame Axel probably wasn't genuinely interested because of Riku.

“I usually don't get to entertain. Most people are interested in seeing the pretty people undress.”

“Can't say I care to see anyone up there get naked,” Roxas inclined his head towards the stage, where a few strippers were working the poles until the shows got underway.

“Implying there's someone offstage you'd want to see?”

“I wouldn't say no to some people.”

“Well, I can't tell customers to lose the clothing, but as an employee, I can take it off,” Axel said.

Roxas smirked. “They have you ready to strip at any time?”

“They encourage nudity among staff, but I don't do it for just anyone.”

“Really? What are your requirements?”

“Be a sexy blonde boy,” Axel replied.

“That sounds familiar.”

“Don't get me wrong, it's not that easy,” Axel said. “You've got to be at least an eight on the hotness scale.”

“And...?” Roxas raised his eyebrows.

“That's it. ... My scale is pretty critical.”

He rolled his eyes. “I mean, do I make it?”

“You aren't aware that you're hot as hell?” Axel quirked one eyebrow. “No shit, you make it.”

“Then what was the point of all that?”

“I want you to appreciate how rare an offer to see me naked is.”

“It is an offer, then?”

“So long as you consent to the 'look, don't touch' rule our club enforces.”

Roxas sighed and sat back, not realising until just now how closely he’d been leaning in. “That's no fun.”

“Ah – wouldn't be very fun with me, anyway,” Axel said casually.

“Don't tell me you're gonna start with self-esteem issues.”

“Oh, hell no, I am _godly_ in the sack. The consequences aren't nearly as fun.” Axel leaned against the bar, needing to tell him before they got anywhere past 'flirting'. “I have HIV.”

That wasn't what Roxas had expected. “... Ah.”

“Thought you should know, since I'd sleep with you the moment you threw a half-serious invitation my way, but obviously I don't want to go spreading it around.” Axel shrugged, looking rather unaffected by the bomb he'd just dropped.

Roxas went a light shade of red. “Thanks for telling me,” he said, while some cruel part of him wondered how Riku would react if he slept with someone with HIV.

“... It's alright if you don't want to keep up conversation, or if you need a moment.” Axel smirked. “Or if you still want to see me naked, but with the no-touching rule in full effect.”

“Hell yeah I do. I still think you're hot and everything.”

Axel's grin widened. “I'm flattered.”

“Anyway, with drinking out I'm in the market for a new vice.”

“Such as redheaded drag queens?” Axel supplied.

“It's a possibility I'm considering.”

“So long as you and your boyfriend have that open-relationship thing, I'm willing to be on standby.”

Roxas snorted. “If it's even that.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

“It was never paradise.”

Axel frowned. “Then why are you with him?”

“It's sort of mutually beneficial. And it's not like I hate him.”

“So he's good in bed,” Axel interpreted, and lamented his disease. If that was all it took, he could've probably stolen Roxas away.

Roxas, however, wasn't sure how to admit that he never really remembered that well after they had sex. “Good enough for me, anyway.”

“That's possibly the most depressing thing I've ever heard, and I bartend for a _strip club_.”

Roxas grinned a little. “I just mean he's got what I need but there's definitely a couple things I could stand to do differently.”

“As a bartender, it's required you tell me everything in vivid detail.”

That got a laugh out of him. “I'm not even drinking.”

“You've got water,” Axel pointed out.

“That's fair.” Roxas sighed. “I can't top. Ever.”

“ _What?_ That's just unreasonable.”

“I know. It's like never taking it will somehow void the 'fucking a guy' thing and cancel out his gayness.”

Axel snorted, amused. “Not even once? Just to see if he likes it?”

“Not even once,” Roxas confirmed solemnly.

“Your boyfriend needs some serious maintenance.”

“I've tried everything to make him change his mind,” Roxas sighed. “He's so fucking defensive about it...”

“Some guys are just _like_ that. I find them unfathomable.”

“ _Thank_ you. It's not like I'm dying for it, but it's been more than a year. My ass is tired. Literally.”

“Sounds like it'd bore me.” Axel shrugged. “But then, who am I to call anyone's sex life dull when they're at least getting laid?”

Roxas cringed. “Couldn't you find someone that has...?”

“I told you, I'm very particular.”

“Got it.” Roxas sipped his water, then added, “Oh, and we can't ever do it sober.”

He didn't have to mention what they were intoxicated with.

“This is sounding more fun all the time.”

“I know. I mean, still sex, so still good. Guess I can't complain,” Roxas amended.

“Sure you can. By right, everyone in this shitty city can complain.”

Roxas almost laughed. “That's true.”

“In seriousness, have you considered just looking for a new guy?”

“It's more complicated than that. I doubt we could be friends, and that'd create even more problems.”

“How so?”

“Like I said, it's mutually beneficial.”

The cagey response was starting to tip Axel off, but he decided it wasn't his business and shrugged. “Whatever works for you, then. Still a shame he won't even let you put it in him.”

Roxas groaned. “'Least he doesn't care if I fuck around.”

“With some exceptions, I'm guessing.”

“The obvious ones,” Roxas agreed, and felt a bit guilty.

“Shame. Not that I would even if he _was_ okay with it, but still,” Axel shrugged.

“That stripper friend of yours, does he have...?”

“No.”

“Just wondering.” Roxas hoped he hadn't just asked a very invasive question, but if the answer was 'no', he supposed it didn't matter. “Because I know Riku would jump on that if he'd even look his way.”

“No offence to him or anything, but if he doesn't stop fantasizing about Sora, I _will_ set him on fire,” Axel warned. “He's clean and he's not seeing anyone, but he's got obvious issues with Riku.”

Roxas shrugged. “I don't know anything about it. Not like he'd tell me.”

“Fair eno – one second,” Axel sighed and was pulled away from their conversation to go serve some customers who'd just walked in. Roxas nodded, having forgotten that Axel had something to do other than talk to him.

Axel didn't take long, at least. He slid back over to Roxas. “Anyway...”

“I'm still good for the show, if you're offering,” Roxas said, not too quickly lest he come off as overeager.

“Second bartender starts in about a half hour, and it'll still be slow,” Axel said, which sounded very promising.

“Is that so,” Roxas grinned. “You've probably earned a break already.”

“There's a staff-only room. Just stick close and I'll show you how I'd like to unwind.”

He snickered under his breath. “Sure.”

“One question first, though,” Axel smirked. “Would you still be up for it if I was in drag?”

Roxas thought for a moment on his answer. “Hard to say. Never done anything with someone in drag... But I also know you're this hot...”

“So, still adventurous. He hasn't sucked it all out of you.”

“I'd say I still need a couple more years to break my spirit.”

“That's the spirit.” Glancing to the stage, Axel shot him one more grin before going to serve some other patrons.

The time it took for the other bartender to arrive stretched on and on. Roxas admired Axel's ass in the leather every time he was forced to walk away, and Axel checked his watch frequently. When the other bartender arrived, he informed them that he was taking his break early came out from behind the bar. He tapped Roxas's shoulder.

“Hey,” Roxas grinned, and got up from his seat. With a smirk, Axel gestured for him to follow.

They were barely through the 'Staff Only' door before Axel was bending to kiss Roxas hard. Roxas had barely noticed how much taller Axel was, particularly in heels, as his attention had been elsewhere. He grabbed Axel's shirt and mumbled into the kiss, “How is that even fair...”

Amused, Axel's lips curled before they parted to deepen the kiss. Roxas used his grip as leverage to pull himself higher, kissing back with the same intensity.

This was a lot hotter, all of a sudden.

God, Axel had missed this feeling. He directed Roxas towards the wall and started to expertly slide out of his own clothing, still kissing him, and he grinned with wicked intent when Roxas felt over his ass before Axel could get the leather pants out of the way.

“You'll have to be punished for copping a feel,” Axel muttered, pulling away and taking Roxas's wrists to direct them over his head. “Said no touching from you, didn't I?”

Roxas's eyes widened briefly, but his indignation was mild and he was having more trouble fighting a smile. “I'm kissing you, aren't I?” he pointed out, deciding that being a smartass was the way to go.

“I'm giving you that as a freebie.” Axel let go and dropped down to kneel, unzipping one of his boots while nuzzling between his legs. The view was phenomenal, and Roxas tilted his head a little to keep Axel within his sights.

“Nn...”

It'd been a while since Axel had been able to practice, but he was pleased to find that multitasking was still second nature. He removed one boot and worked on the other, and between movements he caught the zipper of Roxas's jeans with his teeth to pull it down. The sight was enough to make Roxas moan; he wasn't used to feeling so hot, or having everything be so sharp and clear.

Axel kissed between his legs and then stood up, his boots out of the way. He slid leather further down his hips, not worried about anyone coming in. “Show isn't finished.”

Biting his lip, Roxas followed the movement closely and only faintly lamented the loss. “Good...”

Every piece of clothing was removed deliberately, neither rushing or going too slow. Roxas could feel his cock firming up and was glad his jeans had been unzipped.

“Damn,” he murmured.

Grinning, Axel kissed him again and started to feel Roxas over once his hands were through stripping them. He undressed Roxas as much as he needed to and felt him up practically everywhere, and Roxas flattened his hands against the wall to resist the need to touch him back.

He twitched and explored Axel's mouth thoroughly when he began stroking Roxas's erection, unable to do anything else. Axel was slow, thorough, and let Roxas take control of the kiss to give him an outlet for his pleasure. Roxas nipped his lower lip lightly.

“Careful,” Axel murmured. He liked the roughness, but he was cautious.

“Mm, I know...” Roxas was certain he didn't break skin and confirmed it with a sweep of his tongue.

Still, Axel took his hand away and briefly kissed harder before breaking away. “Got to take away temptation...”

“What?” Roxas protested.

“Not in a way you won't like,” Axel purred, and sank back onto his knees.

Roxas understood and relaxed. “ _Oh_ ,” he breathed, leaning into the wall and running his hands over his hair.

“Ah, touching,” Axel reprimanded, nipping his thigh and gripping his hips.

He liked that almost too much to do as Axel said. “Come _on_ ,” he groaned, but took his hands away.

Axel dragged his tongue from that spot to the base of his cock. “Rules are rules.”

Roxas shivered. He couldn't believe how hot Axel's tongue was.

Rolling his tongue over the tip, Axel started to suck at the head with subtle bobbing motions, swallowing him a little deeper each time.

“Fuck...” The music was too loud for Roxas to even pretend to care about being quiet. He caught himself against the wall when Axel took him deep and sucked hard. “Holy _shit_...”

Axel groaned. He wished he could do _more_... but he shook off that thought, tonguing him and moving against the beat of the music. Roxas liked that, the motion completely unpredictable. His hips pressed up against his hands.

“So hot, oh my god...”

Grip tightening, Axel moaned purposely and gave him another short, hard suck. Roxas hissed loudly, hands almost pulling away to touch him more than once – he badly wanted to grip and tug at his hair, he thought Axel might like that, but there were _rules_ in his way.

Not that Axel would have enforced that rule now, and it was a good thing his mouth was too occupied to tell him so. He slid a hand up and down Roxas's leg, the touch feeling exponentially more intimate.

“Mmn...” Arching from the wall, Roxas forgot to resist his urges. One hand tangled tightly in Axel's hair and pulled. “Ngh, fuck me-...”

Axel groaned sharply, the tug - and god damn Roxas’s _moaning_ \- like a hundred tiny pinpricks of heat going straight to his dick. The leverage in his hair kept Roxas's hands steady.

Fuck, he couldn't remember ever being this turned on.

Granted, he could never remember much while high.

“ _Ah-!_ ” Roxas let himself run at the mouth, barely hearing himself swear and moan. He started to push Axel back. “Gonna-...”

Withdrawing, Axel replaced his mouth with a hand, stroking fast. Roxas's orgasm caught up to him faster than expected and crashed over him, making him dizzy.

“Yeah, yeah-... _Fuck_ -!”

Catching his spend in his hand, Axel kissed along his leg and got back up to catch his lips. Exhilarated, Roxas felt at liberty to touch a little, hands sliding over his shoulders.

Axel pulled away after a moment, smirking. “Damn, I could survive off the sounds you make. Better than porn.”

Blushing, Roxas dug his nails in gently. “Don't suppose you’ve got a cigarette or anything,” he joked, though he was half-serious. He wasn't much of a smoker, though it sometimes helped when he was craving heroin.

“Not on me – probably obvious, given the lack of clothing. Got half a pack nearby, if you really want one.” Axel kissed idly along his jaw.

“Mm.” Roxas briefly closed his eyes. “It's okay. They're expensive, I know...”

“I don't mind,” Axel reassured him, sucking once before he pulled away to redress. He was obviously still hard but unable – and unwilling – to do anything about it, and he pulled his leather pants back on carefully to accommodate his aching cock.

Still a little weak on his feet, Roxas pulled up his jeans with his eyes still on Axel. He was too satisfied to do anything but check him out, privately kind of pleased with himself, but was a _little_ guilty for working him up only to leave him hanging.

He supposed that kind of had to be the way of things. He wasn't even sure how easy it was to catch HIV, though he felt certain nothing they'd done would have transferred him the disease.

“I'll see you around, then?” he asked, while Axel did up his boots.

“At the bar, presumably,” Axel grinned, righting himself.

“Some time, yeah. I've got to go home,” Roxas said. He didn't realize he'd been scratching lightly at his arm for a minute or two, but Axel noticed.

“Alright. You should probably be quick, I'm not supposed to have you in here...” Axel got the door for them, gesturing. Roxas slid out of the 'staff only' room with Axel in tow, flexing his hand and letting it drop away from his arm.

Riku be damned, he was going to prepare himself a hit when he got back. Sober sex was almost better than heroin, but...

Not quite.

He left the bar with his skin singing and his gut cold with craving.


	8. Axel, Sora, Kairi, Namine, Tifa, Roxas, Riku

Ever since they'd moved in together, Axel and Sora had been the ones to play host to almost every party for every occasion; Halloween, New Year's Eve, and, of course, Christmas.

They'd issued invites to friends and friends-of-friends, including acquaintances of varying levels of closeness. Roxas had been told when and where, Namine promised to attend as long as she was up to it, and Kairi had asked Tifa to drop by if she could.

Axel was dressed for the occasion in as little clothing as possible while still maintaining some semblance of modesty. He was essentially in lingerie, leather corset tightly laced and mistletoe attached to his stiletto boots, topped off with a Santa hat on his head. The shade of red clashed terribly with his hair, but that wasn't a concern in the face of festivities.

In complementary attire (though not quite so scandalous), Sora bounded over to the counter where Axel was preparing candy cane shots and gave him a tipsy grin. “I can test them, right?”

“ _One_. Or two,” Axel amended.

The door was unlocked, which was how Namine and Kairi walked in just as Sora was throwing back the creamy mint-flavoured alcohol. Namine was heavily bundled up with scarves, almost always cold even when it wasn't the dead of winter, and she had decided in advance that she'd be keeping at least one of them on. The apartment wasn't very well heated.

“That's really good!” Sora declared, setting the shot glass down. Also downing one, Axel licked his lips and grinned over at the door. Sora followed his field of vision.

“Kairi! Nami!” He immediately went to hug them both. Kairi caught the brunt of his tackle so he didn't knock Namine over.

She still had the wind knocked out of her, but Namine smiled anyway. “Hello, Sora...”

“I'm so, so happy you came! We've got-... well, not a lot of food, but there's drinks. Not just stuff Axel makes. We bought pop and milk and not-boozy eggnog,” Sora rattled off.

“That's good... I can stay sober to make sure you all don't get into too much trouble,” Namine teased.

Sora laughed. “I need you.”

Namine grew more serious. “I'll be sure to be around more, then.”

He hadn't expected her tone, but Sora's smile broadened. “You mean it?”

“Of course,” Namine nodded. “I haven't even seen your place yet! It's been so long...” 'since I left my apartment' remained the unsaid part of her sentence.

“Then I'll give you the tour!”

Kairi proceeded towards the kitchen area, giving Axel a blatant once-over. “Wow, you went all out with the outfit.”

She was almost jealous, but she’d rather be warm and comfortable in her jeans, knit sweater, and fuzzy socks.

“When don't I?” Axel finished with the tray, shots arranged methodically, and held it out to her. “Booze?”

“Please.” Kairi accepted one of the shots. “I asked a couple people from-... well, from work, but I don't know if anyone's coming.”

“They're more than welcome. The place isn't exactly overcrowded yet and if people don't come, I'm drinking these bottles by my lonesome,” Axel said.

Kairi set down the empty shot glass to pour herself a drink from the bottle. “I miss the club so much. I feel like I'm missing everything.”

“We miss you too. You _could_ always come back,” Axel suggested, but knew the money wasn't as good.

“You know I can't. At least, not until Namine's...” Kairi trailed off, watching Sora lead Namine around while she tried to think of the word she wanted to use. “Better.”

“So we're in the living room.. That's the kitchen, sort of. And then Axel's room is the closed door, and my room is over here...” Sora pulled Namine along to show her.

“... I know,” Axel relented, picking up the tray. “Don't think I won't kidnap you if it gets too bad, though, you know I'm crazy enough to do it.”

“Know? I'm counting on it.” Kairi followed him to the living room and picked up some of the food they'd set out on the table.

Axel bent to set the tray down as well. “I'll kidnap Namine, too. We can make it a group activity.”

“As long as we go together,” Kairi laughed.

From the open door, Roxas knocked louder, his first one having gone unnoticed. He hadn't been sure how to feel about a Christmas party given all of their circumstances, and also hadn't been sure he'd gotten the right place... until he saw Axel, tiny skirt not quite covering his backside when he was bent over like that.

Sora saw him first, leading Namine back out into the living room. “... Oh. Hi, Roxas!” he greeted, managing to sound jovial. He still wasn't sure how to feel about Roxas, but he also knew it wasn't his fault that Riku was... how he was. “Um, Namine, you don't know Roxas.”

“Hello, Roxas,” Namine smiled politely.

“He actually came,” Axel murmured to himself, smirking.

“Roxas is Riku's-... well, he's Axel's, um...” Sora tried to explain, but wasn't sure how.

“Friend.” Roxas spoke at last, and tried to look at Sora and Namine, as was polite. He found it difficult to keep his eyes forward when Axel was a much more appealing target to look at.

“Friend, yeah!” Sora finished. “And Namine's our friend, too. Me and Axel.”

Namine couldn't help herself. She started to giggle. “I... don't think I'm the same kind of friend, though. It's nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Looking at her properly, there was something about Namine that Roxas found extremely familiar – she was lightly picking at her fingernails, and there was something telling about the circles under her eyes. He chose not to say anything.

“Roxas!” Axel sauntered over and draped his arms over both Sora and Namine, leaning to do so comfortably. “I wasn't sure you'd show.”

Namine fought to stifle the giggles that still wanted to bubble to the surface. She’d nearly forgotten how fun Axel was to be around.

Unabashed, Roxas flicked his eyes over Axel's full body. “Why not. I might not stay very long, though. There's someone that doesn't know I'm here.”

They were all pretty sure who _that_ was, and Sora felt himself lose the ability to form words.

“So you're saying we should make the most of the time we have. How profound.” Axel removed his arms and caught Roxas's hands. “I'll be busy for the next fifteen, twenty minutes. You can play host, right, Sora?”

“Wh – but Axel!”

“Be _right_ back.” Axel pulled Roxas along, who was quite amenable to being dragged off.

“Um,” Namine leaned in to Sora and whispered, “Roxas does... _know_ , doesn't he? Axel wouldn't have kept that a secret.”

“Yeah, he knows,” Sora murmured back, though he wasn't quite as hushed as he thought he was. “Axel won't stop whining about what he wishes he could do.”

“So, they're... not together, though? You said 'Riku'.” Namine watched Sora carefully.

“Well, yeah. Technically he's Riku's boyfriend, I guess?” Sora bit his lip. “Like _openly_.”

Kairi had come with a plate for Namine in time to overhear. “It's an open relationship, I hear, based on... what was it? Mutual convenience?”

“It really bothers you, doesn't it?” Namine studied Sora's expression.

“No, no, not _really_ ,” Sora said quickly. “I just wish-... I want to know why, but I don't want to talk to him either...”

“Why not?” Namine asked.

Sora chewed on his lower lip. “I'm still mad at him, and if I talk to him I'll just get confused and want to be friends again.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Namine took the plate at last and smiled at Kairi. “Thanks...”

“After how it ended up last time, yeah... At least, I think so.” Sora groaned. “Don't know what he even wants to talk to me about so bad.”

“Maybe he wants to explain why he felt comfortable coming out of the closet with Roxas, and not you.” Namine was almost certain that was actually bothering him more than he'd admit.

“... Maybe,” Sora sighed. “But why'd he have to find out about the stripping and everything? Surprised he still wants to talk to me.”

“Hey,” Kairi feigned offense. “Anyway, I don't think Riku's got a totally clean record, either.”

Namine spoke gently. “We're all doing what we can to get by. I think the fact that he wants to talk to you is a really good thing. He's certainly not judging you.”

“You do?”

Kairi shrugged, still annoyed with Riku on Sora's behalf. Namine nodded, though.

“It at least shows he's more open-minded than I'm guessing he was before. Maybe he's grown as a person... or maybe he hasn't, but you won't know if you keep avoiding him.” More delicately, Namine said, “And, it might give you some closure. So you aren't thinking about him so much.”

Sora considered that, and secretly wondered how Namine always seemed to _know_ what was going on in his head. “I guess...”

“But of course you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to,” Kairi added.

Namine nodded, not yet having touched her food. “Of course, you don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with.”

“Maybe I should ask Roxas,” Sora mumbled. “I don't think Riku comes by the club much anymore.”

That might have more to do with Axel’s continued threats to Riku’s face and/or genitals...

“It probably wouldn't hurt to talk to Roxas more, too, given that he and Axel seem friendly.” Namine almost giggled again.

Kairi glanced towards the closed bedroom door. “They're a little more than friendly. I get the open relationship thing, but the way you describe him, I didn't think of it as something _Riku_ would be okay with.”

“Me neither,” Sora agreed quietly.

“Then there's probably something else going on, there,” Namine surmised.

“... I think I'll ask Roxas. When they're done.” Though Sora wasn't nearly tipsy enough for that conversation, yet. “Um, I'm gonna... get a drink.”

“Alright, Sora.” Finally, Namine started to pick at her food, despite not having much will to eat.

Kairi shifted closer to Namine and gently rubbed her back, though she felt torn in knowing that Sora needed comfort too.

Namine glanced at her and murmured, “If he _does_ get to be friends with Riku, should we remind him that he didn't want to do that?”

“I don't know,” Kairi sighed. “Sora’s such a forgiving person. I think... if Sora does want to be his friend again, then he must not be as different as he seems to be. And maybe that's good.”

“... Maybe...”

Weakly, Kairi changed the subject. “I wonder if anyone else is coming...”

“Did you invite many of your coworkers?”

“Just the ones I get along with well. Tifa, mostly, and Hayner, but I didn't think he'd be interested,” Kairi replied.

“I hope they stop by... I'd like to meet them,” Namine said.

“Tifa wants to meet you, too. I tell her about you all the time.”

“They aren't making her work tonight, are they...?”

Kairi blinked. “I don't know. I hadn't even thought...”

“Your boss sounds like he doesn't like to have people off work.”

“He doesn't. I have no idea if this business takes Christmas off,” Kairi frowned.

Namine resumed eating, mostly to prevent Kairi from having one more thing to be concerned about.

 

 

* * *

 

Axel shut his bedroom door behind them. The light was off, but there was still enough to see by; the walls were covered almost completely in various posters to cover up the depressing stained walls, mostly with band posters and blown-up pictures of motorcycles that had parts sketched on or circled. The bed was unmade and some clothes were strewn around the closet, and the only obviously feminine thing in the place was an open make-up kit by a mirror.

Roxas took a second to adjust to the dim light and looked around in approval. “Wasn't expecting this.”

“Thought there'd be more frills? Pictures of cute boys?” Axel steered Roxas towards the bed.

“Maybe a couple. Had no idea you were so into bikes. Hard to imagine you working on one like _this_.”

Pressing down on Roxas's shoulders, Axel had him sit on the bed before moving onto his knees in front of him. “Are you kidding, this is exactly what I'd wear. ... Maybe not the hat.”

“I might be tempted to help, in that case. You know, supervise, read the manual out to you.” Intrigued by the position, Roxas pointed to Axel's stilettos with his foot, grinning. “Here I thought that was an invitation to kiss them.”

“It's supposed to be, but if _you_ did it I'd probably come on the spot, and I don't want to ruin my lingerie. It was expensive.” Axel ran his hands up Roxas's legs.

Roxas closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “Mm, you know what the solution is there, then?”

“I'm _wide_ open to your thoughts and suggestions.” Axel began to undo Roxas's pants.

“If you're so worried about it getting stained, it should come off.”

Once there was some skin exposed, Axel ran his lips over it. “This sounds like a scheme to get me naked.”

“Ngh... Why do I need a 'scheme'?”

“I'll have you know I am a _proper_ lady. The clothes don't come off until I've been sufficiently charmed.” Taking Roxas's cock in hand, Axel brushed his parted lips over the tip.

“This isn't you-... mm, charmed? Have to know what you'd do if you were.”

“That's when things get _really_ hot,” Axel purred, and reached for the cherry-flavoured lubrication in the drawer of his nightstand.

“Damn...” One of his legs hooked over Axel's shoulder as Roxas leaned back a little. Axel paused to slick his palm and warm the lubrication, then started stroking him easy and fast. With a soft sound, Roxas slid his hands carefully into Axel's hair.

Axel was never one to give less than his best. He started to suck at a spot on his thigh, and Roxas found himself surprisingly sensitive to it. His hips twitched, swearing softly. In the back of his mind, he told himself that they should be quick.

Luckily, Axel was on the same page. He didn't tease, sucking at the head of his hardening cock and running his hand down to the base.

Watching him was so much hotter. Roxas kept his eyes on him, taking in the silhouette cast on his face from the light from outside, studying the sharpness of his jaw and his bold eyeliner.

“Nngh...”

Axel swallowed him to the base and sucked, starting to move both his head and his hand. Slick fingers moved down, seeking his entrance and teasing around it.

“Oh, fuck-... fuck...” Roxas couldn't come up with anything more articulate than a string of curses as he shifted his position on the bed invitingly. Axel took the hint and worked one finger into him, curling it and searching while he moved his head, more focused on his pace than taking him entirely with each motion.

He found the spot he was looking for. Roxas made no secret of it, breath catching loudly. He groaned outright when Axel's response was to press against those nerves with more purpose, and it was partly because he was imagining how Axel's skill with his fingers might translate.

“Getting close...”

Axel didn't let up, didn't even hitch. Roxas gave up on being gentle, tugging his hair as hard as he needed to while he tried to figure out which way was up. The moan around his cock was wonderful, and Roxas arched into it, giving into everything his body wanted to react to.

“God-... nngh... Axel, gonna...”

“ _Mmn_...” In response, Axel swallowed him deep again.

Roxas took a hand off Axel's head to bite into it, just coherent enough not to want to freak anyone out with what was surely about to be a loud moan. He fought to keep his hips down and shuddered with his peak.

“ _Mngh-_...!”

Axel swallowed it all. He drew back to lick him clean, sending small tremors up Roxas's spine with each brush of his tongue. Steadily, Roxas figured out how to breathe again.

Licking his lips, Axel pulled off him at last, abruptly hyper-aware of how hard he was. “Hate to kick you out, but... I'm going to need a minute to calm down...”

Roxas sat up, regaining the strength to move. “You gotta stop doing that if you don't get something in return...”

Axel arched an eyebrow, climbing off his knees. He approached his make-up case, taking out his lipstick to reapply it. “You really want me to stop?”

“ _Hell_ no. Just rather return the favor.” Roxas pulled his pants back up, watching Axel outline his lips.

“Not an option.” Axel inspected his make-up, finding his appearance satisfactory once he adjusted his hat. He grabbed a tissue to wipe off his hands for the time being.

“I know we can't have sex, and I can't suck you off... Doesn't mean I can't _touch_ you.”

“If you touch me, you're inevitably going to want to have sex with me,” Axel argued. He was trying to think un-sexy thoughts.

“I think it's your modesty that's most attractive to me.”

“You would be overwhelmingly compelled to pound my ass the moment you got your hand around my dick. It's an unfortunate fact I've had to come to grips with,” Axel said, and smirked.

“You're right. How will I ever resist?” Roxas drawled.

“In all seriousness, it's better like this,” Axel said decisively. “I get some _very_ choice masturbatory material for later, and you get blowjobs. Zero risk.”

Roxas nodded grudgingly. “Just feels... unbalanced.”

Axel looked surprised. “And that bugs you?”

“Shouldn't it?”

He shrugged. “Hasn't bothered anyone before.”

“Have you done this a lot?” Roxas asked.

“Not a whole lot,” Axel confessed. “It takes a special kind of sexy for me to want to sexually frustrate myself.”

Roxas grinned faintly, though it didn't last. “I'll get out now.”

“Thanks. Your presence makes it unsurprisingly hard to focus,” Axel purred.

Still unsettled by the inequality of their arrangement, Roxas left regardless, supposing it was better to let Axel deal with his arousal for now. He heard Axel start to mutter motorcycle engine repair instructions to himself as he closed the door.

Nursing a drink, Sora finished it off when he heard the door to Axel's room close. He was surprised at first to see only Roxas, but not entirely once he'd had a second to think about it. “Hey, Roxas...”

“Uh, Sora?” Kairi interrupted before the two of them could chat, someone knocking. “The door.”

“Oh, okay. Stay right there,” he told Roxas, then went to open the still-unlocked door.

The woman at the door smiled down at Sora warmly, completely unfamiliar to him. “Hi – Kairi invited me? Is this the right place?”

Kairi lit up, rushing over. “Tifa! You came!”

“This is Tifa?” Sora blinked. He didn't know what he'd expected, but it probably wasn't someone so... tall.

Sipping water, Namine turned and lifted her head to gaze over at the door. Tifa ruffled Sora's hair as though they were old friends.

“And you're Sora, I'm guessing! Nice to meet you.”

“You too!” Sora laughed. “I'm really happy Kairi has you. She's always saying how much easier it is thanks to you.”

Kairi giggled. “Don’t make it sound like I'm in _love_ with her.” She stepped aside to let her in. “Pretty much everyone I tell you about is here. Sora, obviously, and Axel's... somewhere. And... one second.”

Tifa removed her threadbare coat while Kairi went to the kitchen area, where Namine had tucked herself away.

“You okay?”

Still looking at Tifa, Namine nodded a little. “... She's beautiful,” she murmured.

Kairi smiled. “So are you. Do you want to meet her?”

Namine nodded and put down her glass. Kairi led her towards the door, and the reason for her nervousness was beyond her. “Tifa, this is Namine.”

Turning towards her, Tifa's eyes reflexively darted over Namine before smiling. “You’re Kairi’s sweetie, right?”

“Yes...” Namine accepted her hand, surprised by how strong her handshake was. Tifa was gorgeous, but she was also clearly strong enough to flatten anyone to cross her. It was kind of a comfort.

“It's a pleasure!” Tifa declared.

“Yes, I'm glad Kairi has someone to lean on,” Namine said. “I'm not very much help, with that...”

Tifa was trying to identify what it was about Namine that seemed off, but she shook her head. “We all have to look out for each other.”

“That's right,” Kairi nodded.

“And you know what Kairi always tells me?” Sora broke in. “That if Tifa's the one who makes it easier, Namine's the one who makes it worth it.”

“Sora!” Kairi reddened, and Namine also blushed.

Tifa laughed, the sound unabashedly loud. “You're all so sweet.”

“Nothin' to be embarrassed about, you guys,” Sora grinned. “But, um, I was gonna go talk to Roxas so I'll be back in a bit.”

Kairi was kind of glad to be rid of her best friend, just out of relief that he wouldn't be able to blab to Tifa anything else she'd told him in confidence.

Sora leaned his head into the kitchen before heading in. “Hey, Roxas. Sorry, I had to just-... Anyway, can I talk to you?”

Roxas shrugged, finishing chewing the store-bought Christmas cookie he'd grabbed. He eyed the alcohol with some longing before responding, “Sure.”

“I just... wanted to ask some things about Riku,” Sora said in an undertone.

“If it's about what he wants from you, I don't know,” Roxas said, eyebrows high. “I don't ask him that stuff.”

“No! Well, not really. Just... about you guys.”

In the living room, Axel had re-emerged with clean hands and a readiness for more shots, only to get caught up in conversation with Tifa swapping their favourite lingerie boutiques. Namine sat by them, quietly eavesdropping while they talked fashion and Sora talked to Roxas about Riku.

Roxas sighed quietly. “I know you guys used to be a thing, but that's it. He doesn't talk to me about you. Doesn't talk to me about most things, really.”

“But you're dating, right?” Sora pressed.

“Yeah. Look, this is clearly about you two. Shouldn't you be asking _him?_ ”

Sora looked somewhat sheepish. “That's what everyone keeps telling me.”

“I can try to get him to come over,” Roxas suggested. “Can't really answer what you want to know for him.”

His eyes widened. “What, now?!”

“Unless you want to some other time,” Roxas said.

“It may be a good time,” Namine spoke up, “it's your apartment... If he makes you uncomfortable, he'll have to leave.”

Sora started, just realizing that Namine was listening. He bit his lip. “Axel?”

Axel had caught the tail-end of that conversation. “It's your call, but if he steps out of line, I'll be stepping on his junk heel-first.”

“Now might be the best time,” Kairi said gently. “Since it's Christmas and everything, lots of people want to catch up.”

Sora saw the logic in that, but squirmed. “Okay... Can you call him or something?”

“I don't have a phone. Does anyone...?” Roxas looked to the room.

Tifa removed hers from her back pocket, flipping it open. “It's _supposed_ to be incoming calls only, but 'tis the season.” She offered it to Roxas.

“We're all here for you, if you need us to be,” Namine patted Sora's shoulder.

“I know,” he grinned a little.

“Thanks.” Though he rarely ever called it, Roxas knew Riku's number off the top of his head. He dialled and wondered how Riku would react to the knowledge that he'd come here without consulting him. Chances were good that he wouldn't care what Roxas did, once Sora's name was mentioned.

As was holiday tradition, Riku was forced to be home with his parents and was not handling it well. The door to his room barricaded, he sat on his bed and inspected the bruise forming on his arm, jumping when the phone rang. He wasn't high enough to cope with his home situation and had been cursing himself for hours for not bringing any heroin with him, so when he picked up, he was audibly tense. “Hello?”

Roxas wasn't surprised by the tone. “Hey. Wanna get out?”

“ _Yes_. Where? What have you got?”

“I haven't got-...” Roxas dropped his voice, hushed. “I'm at a kind of party.”

Riku raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You don't go to parties unless you're high.”

“Yeah, well, a friend invited me. It's a Christmas thing, not that kind of party.”

“... It's better than here. What's the address?” Riku asked, grabbing a pen to write it down on the nearest bit of scrap paper.

Roxas recited it, then hesitated before adding, “... It's Sora's place.”

Riku fell silent.

“You don't have to come.”

“Does he know you're inviting me?”

“Yeah, actually. He asked me to... sort of.” Roxas amended.

“Oh.” Riku sounded stunned. “Okay. I'll... I guess I'll be there.”

Roxas resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and added quietly, “But if you want to stop by my apartment first and grab something, we can always sneak off...”

“I'm going to need it. See you.”

“Yeah. See you.” Hanging up, Roxas handed the phone back to Tifa, who promptly checked for missed calls.

“So he's stopping by?” Axel asked.

“Yeah. Don't know how long he'll be, though.”

That thought didn't comfort Sora any. He'd gone a shade paler.

“... I'll make more shots,” Axel declared.

“You're the best,” Sora said, grateful.

“I know,” Axel breezed, picking up the tray and heading to the kitchen. Tifa followed to help, and Sora slumped, the idea of changing into something a little more modest not quite managing to cross his mind.

Now that a hit was on his mind, Roxas was distracted and wondering how long he'd have to wait for Riku to arrive. Namine approached tentatively, leaning forward.

“Roxas?”

Roxas started. He hadn't noticed her approach. “Sorry?”

“Is everything okay? You look preoccupied.”

“... Yeah, everything's fine. Just thinking, I guess.” There was something about Namine that unnerved him, like there was no way of keeping a secret from her. Her fingers tapped noiselessly against her glass and her large eyes had this quality to them, like she was looking right through Roxas.

“What about?” she asked.

Roxas hesitated. “Riku... obviously...”

“Just Riku? Or Riku and Sora?”

“Both, I guess...”

Namine smiled, and didn't voice the feeling that he wasn't being honest. Roxas even had the strange compulsion to tell her the truth, but he resisted.

“What about you?”

Her head tilted slightly. “What about me?”

“You seem like you've always got something more on your mind,” he observed.

Namine smiled. “I usually do, I guess.”

“Guess we have that in common.”

“I think we probably have a lot in common,” Namine said genuinely.

Roxas blinked, and looked her over more seriously. “Yeah, you think?”

She just smiled and sipped her water. Roxas wondered, was she implying…?

“There was a call for more drinks?” Tifa carried out the tray laden with more shots. Axel followed with a few coolers in hand.

“Yes, please!” Sora took a shot in each hand.

“Sure, I'll take one too,” Kairi said. She took one shot, though she wanted to stay relatively sober. Namine seemed to notice, and lowered her water.

“I'm not going to drink, if you wanted to have a little more,” she told Kairi, wondering if she was worried about having to take care of her.

Axel cracked open one of the coolers. “Can I at least get you something with a little more kick than water? Eggnog or something?”

“No, thank you,” she shook her head. “I'm alright.”

“I'll take one,” Roxas said.

“Spiked, or without?”

“Virgin,” he sighed.

“Really? You sure don't move like one.” Axel turned back to the kitchen. Roxas rolled his eyes, and Namine choked on a giggle mid-sip.

Sora set down the empty shot glasses to grab two more and sat down on the couch. Tifa watched him with mild concern.

“You might want to slow down, that's plenty for a guy your size...”

“I'll stop af-... after this.”

Namine called to the kitchen, her voice barely carrying, “Axel, could you bring Sora some bread, too?”

Axel grabbed the box of shortbread cookies, guessing Sora would prefer those to the cheap white bread they had shoved in a cupboard. He returned to the living room and held out a mug of eggnog to Roxas, who needed a moment to register what was happening before taking it.

“Thanks.” Roxas stopped scratching at his arm impatiently and took the drink.

“Oh!” Sora perked up when he was passed the cookies, starting to smile as he gathered several in his hands to start eating. Axel dropped onto the couch and put his feet up on the table... until Namine gave him a reproachful look. He lowered them with an indignant mutter about it being _his_ apartment. Roxas's eyes flickered to the stilettos again, and he smirked.

Conversation was casual and frequent from there, plenty of crossover between topics occurring several times and a few runs being made back to the kitchen to grab more snacks or water. Only Sora made sure to keep drinking enough to keep his buzz, weighing down drunkenness with crumbly sugar.

“So, any other holiday plans, Tifa?” Kairi asked, leaning against the arm of the couch.

“I'm probably going to drop in on my best friend tomorrow to make sure he actually _has_ a Christmas and doesn't ignore the holiday season out of grumpiness,” she answered.

Kairi laughed. “He sounds like a Grinch.”

“He is, a little,” Tifa grinned. “I'll have to take a picture of him. There is _nothing_ funnier than his surly face and a Santa hat just kind of awkwardly placed on top of his chocobo spikes.”

“You _have_ to,” Kairi spoke through giggles. “I thought Sora would be like that, but instead it's just really cute.”

Hearing his name, Sora smiled with his cheeks full of cookie.

Tifa was interrupted by the ring of her phone, and she reflexively stood up a bit straighter with her chest out. “How may I help you?” she asked, expecting Xigbar on the other end.

Instead, it was a very uncertain Riku, having been connected by the operator. “Uh-... I was speaking to Roxas?”

“Oh!” Tifa held the phone out towards him. Roxas glanced up and slowly took it.

“Riku?” he questioned.

“Yeah... I'm not sure I'm at the right place...” Riku approached the apartment door and knocked cautiously. They heard it from inside.

“That'd be for you, Sora,” Axel prompted.

“Yeah...” Sora got to his feet and swayed a little.

“I'll get it,” Roxas turned away from the phone to speak to the room, then got up with it still in hand. “Yeah, you're in the right place.”

Riku relaxed marginally, listening briefly at the door. “Good. How long do we have to stay?”

He had no idea how to act around Sora, but he was sure it was going to be awkward.

“Long as we have to, I guess.” Roxas snapped the phone shut as he opened the door and immediately started checking inside Riku’s jacket.

“Chill, hands off, I've got it stashed,” Riku muttered, putting away his phone.

“Well, I can't wait long,” Roxas whispered back. He stepped away from the door to let him in.

“If you can't even wait to prep it, you've got to be willing to cover part of the next one. We need to economize,” Riku told him, voice very low. Then he stepped inside, visibly uncertain.

Sora stared over at Riku, feeling faintly sick either from nerves or the mixture of alcohol and cookies.

“... Hi.”

“Hey,” Riku greeted, licking his lips anxiously. “Sorry, I would've brought something, if I'd had notice... Liquor, or...” he glanced at the table, which was covered in shot glasses and bottles. “Maybe not liquor...”

“... That's okay, you didn't know...” Sora said. He still had yet to remember his flimsy costume, which Riku was trying very hard not to notice. Kairi looked between them protectively.

“Yeah. Still, thanks for asking me over. It was you, right?” Riku confirmed.

“Yeah...” Sora glanced briefly at Axel and Kairi. “We could, um, go to my room to talk.”

“Are you sure about that?” Axel cut in, almost warningly.

“I'd feel more comfortable talking in private, yeah,” Riku agreed.

Sora gestured to Axel to let him know it was okay, knowing there was nothing Riku could do that Axel wouldn't be able to intervene in time to stop. “Just... over here.”

Riku looked from Axel to Tifa, who looked curious, and to Namine, who unnerved him a little, then to Kairi. “Alright... yeah.”

Sora's bedroom wasn't so different from the one he had growing up. Everything in it was the same, there was just _less_. There were drawings and posters for sports events and animated movies covering the better part of one wall, and the same old space-themed mobile above his bed. Clothes were scattered in one corner where they'd clearly missed the hammock-style hamper.

It was nostalgic. Riku couldn't help but smile faintly.

Sora sat down on the bed slowly. “So, um... I'm sorry I avoided you.”

Riku glanced away from him abruptly, once again reminded how Sora was dressed now that he had the backdrop of a bed. “I understand why you did. I probably would have avoided me, too.”

“I just didn't think you'd ever find out about my job... Of all people, I wanted you to know least of all. Except my parents, maybe.”

“Have things just been... difficult, financially, or do you do it because you want to?”

“No way!” Sora's eyes went wide. “It's just for money.”

Riku kind of wished that wasn't the case. He nodded a bit, and muttered, “You don't have to be embarrassed. You're doing it because it's your job, I was the one actually _going_ to a strip club.”

“Why were you there, anyway?”

“Needed an escape, I guess.” He couldn't tell Sora that the escape was heroin, that he'd originally gone to meet a dealer.

“But you have a-... you have Roxas...”

“... We're not in love.” Riku sighed, then almost laughed bitterly. “Most days, I don't think we even like each other.”

Sora was even more confused. He'd gotten the same impression from Roxas and assumed it was one-sided. “That's why you're okay with... what he's doing with Axel?”

“The bartender?” Riku hadn't known about that and couldn't hide his vague surprise, but it made sense when he thought about it. “I don't care what Roxas does.”

Sora bit his lip. “So why are you together?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but hesitated. He wasn't sure how to choose his words. “We... We're not together. We're just... using each other to cope.”

“Things are still bad with your parents, huh?”

“Worse than ever.”

Sora winced. “But you're out, with Roxas. At least you are in clubs and stuff. Won't they know?”

“They do. That's why they're worse,” Riku sighed. “I couldn't hide it forever.”

“... You hid us,” Sora pointed out quietly. “You hid us pretty well.”

Riku avoided his eyes. “I guess I did.”

Sora lowered his head, not sure what to ask. “Is there anything you want to say?”

“I've been wanting to apologize for years,” Riku said immediately. “I didn't want things to end with us, and I know they only did because of me. So... I'm sorry.”

He had to force down the instinct to forgive him immediately. Sora bit his lip. “... Why?”

“Why... what? Why am I sorry?”

“Why did it happen like it did? With us, and why... why is it different with Roxas?” Sora sniffled. “Why _everything_.”

“I'm not out with Roxas by _choice_ ,” Riku spoke quickly, like he was trying to verbally rip off the band-aid he'd stamped everything down with. “Word just got to my mother and Roxas came along later, and I needed-... something. I just needed someone to help me deal, and there wasn't a point in sneaking around about being with him.” He didn't add that he had enough to sneak around with as it was. “But, before that... I was just scared.”

“... I know. I was scared, too, though.”

Riku managed a rueful grin. “You were always braver than I was, though.”

“Maybe,” Sora mustered a small smile, as well.

“That was... all I've really been wanting to say really. I just wanted you to know that I acted like a coward, and an idiot, and losing you _really_ sucked. Not 'losing you',” he corrected, “I pretty much shoved you away.”

It was still a struggle not to be too nice, too forgiving. “Yeah, you did.”

“You don't have to accept my apology, either.” Riku lowered his voice, then with a knowing sort of smile, added, “Although, it would be in the spirit of Christmas if you did.”

Sora squirmed. “... I know it wasn't all your fault. It's hard for you...”

“That doesn't mean it wasn't my fault.”

“It was. And my fault, too...”

“You didn't do anything wrong,” Riku argued.

“But maybe if things had been different between us... maybe we would still be friends now,” Sora said.

“... I don't want to push things and say that maybe we could be friends now, but... It'd be cool if you didn't feel like you have to avoid me.”

“I still don't know how to feel.” Sora's eyes slowly raised from the floor, trying to meet Riku's. “This whole thing with Roxas seems so unlike you.”

Riku shrugged uncomfortably. He couldn't tell him any more.

“I _know_ you, Riku. At least, I used to. You're not just... cold to the people you care about. Not unless something's wrong...”

“I've grown up, that's all.”

“How is that growing up?” Sora asked, the question nearly innocent if not for the slight offense in his voice.

“The romantic dreams are nice, but they're not realistic. With my parents, and the rest of _life_ , I had to let those go.” Riku sounded a bit defensive. “Roxas and I have things in common, it's convenient, so there's no reason not to.”

“But you don't love each other. That's not fake, or a dream, being able to love someone,” Sora said.

“Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't, but either way being _with_ them would be hard,” Riku said. “It'd change if I fell for someone, but until then...”

“Did you ever love Roxas?”

“No,” Riku confessed. “I thought I could, once? Just never happened.”

Sora's eyes lowered. “That's too bad.”

“... What about-... I mean, I was surprised, when you said Axel's been-... I thought you two might be...”

“With Axel? No way!” Sora protested. “He's just my friend. I mean, sure he flirts with me sometimes, but it's just a joke.”

It had gotten a _little_ further than a joke once, but that was a long time ago, and Riku didn’t need to know that.

Riku raised his eyebrows and let himself look over Sora's outfit at last. “Was the costume his idea?”

Sora flushed. “Not really, but he encouraged it.”

“... Are you _sure_ he's joking?”

“Yeah, I'm sure. That's how Axel is. Anyway, I'm not his type at all, and he's not mine.”

“Alright,” Riku said dubiously.

“I'm not looking for that kinda thing, anyway...”

“This isn't my business, as it is,” Riku murmured.

“I guess not,” Sora hesitated. “Is this goodbye, then? The actual one?”

“... If you want it to be,” Riku sighed. “That might be better.”

“I don't know what I want. What do you want?”

“I want to be your friend again,” Riku replied. “But I understand why you wouldn't want to.”

“... Can we even be friends anymore?”

“I don't know,” Riku admitted.

“Me neither. At least, not yet.”

“... You can let me know. If you want to talk, or... anything. I'll wait. Or, I won't _wait_ , but, I'll be there? If you want.”

Sora nodded. “Okay. I can do that.”

At the same time, they both felt like they should hug each other, and not let go until the other knew how much they'd been missed. They both fought the urge.

“I guess I should head out,” Riku said, instead.

“Unless you want something to eat or drink,” Sora offered. “I don't think it'll be very friendly for you here, though.”

“I did get that sense.”

Outside Sora's room, Axel unabashedly took a sip from his cooler, eavesdropping and silently confirming Sora's theory.

Sora got up from the bed. “I guess Roxas'll probably go with you, then.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Sora got up to open the door. Riku took a step out into the hall, reflexively jolted to see Axel _right there_.

Though he'd fully expected him to do it, Sora gave Axel a disapproving look. Nonchalant, Axel took another sip, and didn't even pretend he hadn't been listening. “Nice having you stop by, we'll be sure you get an invite to our next dinner party. Bye, now.”

Riku resisted the need to roll his eyes. “... Bye, Sora.”

The four of them proceeded towards the door, Axel going along only to see Roxas out. “Hey, so... will I see you around the bar?”

Roxas had finished his eggnog and started putting on his coat. “I'll see you around, yeah. Thanks for the invite. It was... festive.”

Axel smirked. “Anytime.”

Riku ignored Axel, warring with himself over the idea of holding Roxas's hand. He didn't particularly want to, but he felt like he should. “Rox, let's go.”

“I'm coming.” Still anxious to go, Roxas still gave Axel a brief wave and a flirtatious grin before he turned back. The two of them left the apartment and started over to the stairwell at the hallway's end.

“If my parents find out I snuck out, I'll catch hell, and I don't fucking care. Your place?” Riku confirmed.

Roxas let his impatience show. “ _Yeah_.”

“You have needles?”

“I always do.”

Riku nodded, and was quiet for a moment before asking, “You're screwing Sora's roommate?”

“Yeah, or as good as.”

“... But he's an _ass_.”

“So are you,” Roxas countered. “He just owns it.”

Riku didn't try to argue that, muttering, “He’s insufferable, you mean.”

“Sometimes. What about you? Did you fix things with your boyfriend?”

“Don't be a dick about it,” Riku scowled. “Especially not about him.”

Roxas stuck his hands in his coat pockets. “Geez, sorry. If you’re going to get all defensive...”

“I don't want to talk about it, alright?”

“You could have just said yes or no. I don't want to hear about it, either.”

Riku rolled his eyes. They went down eight flights of stairs before exiting through a side door onto the street.

“... Should we spring for a taxi?”

“You got money for that?” Roxas asked.

Riku sighed. “Money that I'm saving for the next time I can find Zexion.”

“Great,” Roxas grimaced. “I thought you'd get Christmas money or something.”

“Christmas money is for good boys who don't get off with other boys,” Riku rolled his eyes.

“Thought it'd be a good impersonal gift they're obliged to give you.”

“They prefer passive-aggressive bullshit and maybe a bruise.”

“Hm,” Roxas scowled. “I guess it's not that far to walk.”

“Let's get moving, then, before I just snort this...”

Roxas almost laughed, turning to follow Riku down the street.


	9. Demyx, Zexion, Lexaeus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for us, so have this chapter a day early!

Demyx had started playing nearer to the brothel in the hopes of seeing Xigbar's attractive associate eventually, but he'd started to give up hope of actually spotting him. Not that he regretted his decision, of course, since Xigbar found him more nights than not and took him home for food, a shower, and hours of rough fucking.

When the car pulled up, Demyx moved closer to the door. When the figures approaching proved to be familiar, he lit up.

“Hey...!”

Almost intrigued to know who had been so bold as to yell to him, Zexion held up a hand to halt Lexaeus. On his way to open the door to the brothel, Lexaeus paused and watched Demyx approach with a sunny smile.

“You, uh, probably don't remember me,” Demyx said by way of greeting. “We met before, though? You're in business with Xigbar?”

Zexion was impassive. “I rarely forget anyone I meet. Do you need something?”

“Uh...” Inspiration struck. “I wanted to do business, too?”

Dubious, Zexion raised an eyebrow. “... Join me inside, then.”

Grinning, Demyx packed away his guitar in his mostly-empty case. Lexaeus silently opened the door.

Before they were even through the doorway, Zexion began speaking, wanting to make a few things clear before dealing with Xigbar's attempts at haggling. “I've never sold to you before. I expect you can afford my prices. I take nothing as compensation.”

“Eh... Well...” Demyx chuckled nervously, quickly catching up to his pace. He wasn't even sure what Zexion sold, exactly. “I don't know how much things usually cost...”

“What are you looking for?”

“Um-... everything! Whatever you have?” Demyx hoped that sounded more assured than it had in his head.

Lexaeus looked at Zexion, expression unreadable. Zexion decided to label Demyx as a kid out to prove something, though they couldn't be very far apart in age. “... I'll allow you some time to think about that while I'm in my appointment,” he decided, and brushed past towards Xigbar's office.

“Wait!” Demyx bounced along in his wake. “Can I follow you in? I could get an idea of what you charge?”

“... I suppose you're familiar with Xigbar,” Zexion said. “I can't imagine he'll object.”

“Cool,” Demyx said, pleased. Lexaeus's brow twitched just a little, quite certain he knew what Demyx's real intentions were.

Xigbar didn't bother to get up when Zexion knocked on the door, or when he entered. He did get to his feet upon noticing Demyx, though, and threw his arms open. “Dem! Looking for a job yet?”

Luxord promptly looked up from his online poker game and mentally undressed Demyx one shabby garment at a time. Demyx laughed.

“Nope. I'm just, uh, observing. For business.”

Xigbar embraced him anyway. “No way, you're on the stuff now? How do you afford that?”

Zexion set his case on the desk and opened it. He did not remove anything, not intending to until there was money presented, but Demyx got a glimpse of the various powders and vials and clued in at last.

“ _Oh_ -... No! I mean, yeah? Yeah, all kinds of stuff,” Demyx declared, sinking into Xigbar's chest. “Drugs.”

Luxord chuckled. “He's like a flustered puppy.”

“Xigbar. If you could get back to _real_ business,” Zexion prompted.

“Aw, you're not bullyin' the poor kid, are ya'?” Xigbar pulled Demyx to arm's length. “Go sit over there with Luxord, and don't let him bite. Seriously.” He pushed Demyx in that direction but slapped his ass before he could get out of reach. Demyx reddened reflexively, dropping into the seat by Luxord and letting him pull him closer.

Zexion waited for Xigbar to sit again, his single visible eye meeting him. “Five thousand, even.”

Xigbar pretended to choke. “Five? You're kidding.”

“I suppose Kadaj is giving it out as party favors at the rate he's buying,” Zexion replied. Unnoticed, Luxord slid a hand down the back of Demyx's pants, and Demyx did nothing but continue to observe.

“You gotta take at least three hundred off,” Xigbar complained. “You screwed me on the last order.”

Zexion bristled. “I suggest you question those in your employ about what was missing before accusing me. You know better.”

Lexaeus fixed his stare on Xigbar and crossed his arms. Paying no attention, Luxord squeezed Demyx's ass roughly enough to make him squeak.

Chancing a quick look at Lexaeus, Xigbar deflated slightly. “Zexy, _buddy_ , we're old friends, right?”

“Five thousand.”

Demyx was becoming a little starry-eyed as he watched Zexion hold his ground for what was, in Demyx's mind, an incredible amount of money. Lexaeus's expression was unyielding.

“You know I will leave if I must.” Zexion said, stare getting harder.

Xigbar looked a little bit panicked. “The big guy would -”

“ _Xemnas_ will agree with me,” Zexion interrupted. “Or would you rather take this up with him?”

Demyx pondered on that. He was hearing that name more and more, and he was sure he knew someone with that name. He'd never really connected it to a physical person, though.

Luxord slipped his hand lower. Demyx jumped a little and pulled away with another squeak.

Xigbar groaned. “Alright, alright, you got me. This time. I don't ever want to pay this much again.” He withdrew bills from his locked desk and slid them towards Zexion. Lexaeus promptly began to count it.

“Take it up with your 'employees'.”

In little time, Lexaeus was lifting his head, stone-faced. “This is five hundred short.”

“Those are all 1k clips, not my fault -”

Zexion's voice took on a colder edge. “Do not insult me again.”

“Hey, _hey_ , I'm getting it.” Xigbar reached into his desk again and put down five crisp hundred dollar bills, one at a time. Demyx was all the more awestruck.

Lexaeus counted, checked the bills' legitimacy, and nodded to Zexion.

“You are much too feeble to trick me, Xigbar, do not try again.” Zexion pushed the case over and got to his feet.

“You could cut me some slack, since we've been partners forever,” Xigbar groused.

“I have,” Zexion smirked. “You have all your fingers, still. And the other eye.”

A small laugh escaped Demyx. Lexaeus looked at him sharply.

“Sorry.”

“Eye jokes coming from you? That's _low_ ,” Xigbar frowned.

“We're finished.” Zexion turned to the door.

Demyx rocketed to his feet. “Can I go with you?!”

He felt a bit like he was betraying Xigbar by asking, but he was still too impressed by Zexion's... _everything_ to care. Zexion sighed quietly but didn't deny him, silently ordering Lexaeus to hold the door by doing so.

Giving Xigbar a quick consolation kiss and a grin, Demyx darted over after Zexion and nodded to Lexaeus. “Later. Thanks!”

Xigbar's frown deepened, but he was certain he could catch Demyx on the rebound after Zexion rejected him.

Practically skipping after Zexion, Demyx grinned and said, “So, uh... Drugs, right?”

Zexion fixed him with a stern look on their way out. “Look, if you're hoping to impress someone, I suggest you track down one of the many marijuana dealers in the area. You're out of your league in every way, here.”

“No, uh...” Demyx looked sheepish. “I just wanted an excuse to talk to you. I can't afford drugs. Or, uh, food, a lot of the time.”

“... Are you hoping for some charity?” Zexion asked slowly.

“Not _charity_ – I mean if you gave me somewhere to sleep for the night that'd be really cool and I'd be willing to do, you know. Whatever, for you.” Demyx smiled again broadly. “If you want?”

Lexaeus glanced at Zexion, awaiting an indication that he should push Demyx aside.

Zexion, however, was amused by his utter sincerity. “You want me to allow you, a stranger, into my home for the night?”

“Yeah? I wouldn't steal from you, I'm not a thief, and I'd have to be crazy to anyway right?” Demyx patted Lexaeus's arm. “Your bodyguard could snap me in half.”

Lexaeus said nothing, but his silence was deafening.

With a gesture, Zexion instructed Lexaeus not to act. He saw nothing suspicious about Demyx. “No, I don't think you would.”

“So... d'you want to?”

There might be some use for this vagrant. He knew this was impulsive, inadvisable, and yet... something about him gave Zexion the feeling of a cat with a captured mouse - he couldn’t resist batting him around a little. One night to entertain himself couldn’t cost him much.

“If you're going to use me like a hotel, I expect to be paid as one.”

Demyx was confused. “But I told you I don't have money.”

Zexion hid a smirk. “Then I'll think of a way you can work for it.”

Assuming what he meant by that, Demyx grinned, all too willing. “Great! Thank you!”

“We're going there now,” Zexion said, and nodded to Lexaeus to reassure him. Lexaeus, despite his quiet confusion, trusted Zexion's judgment.

“Lead the way!” Demyx declared. “Y'don't happen to have food you'd be cool with sharing, would you?”

“It will be added to your bill.” Zexion began walking to the car, which was parked as far away as he was willing to go in the cold.

Demyx walked with a faint skip in his step, more energetic now. “Hey – y'know, Xiggy probably didn't hold back the money intentionally. Probably just an oversight, he has _plenty_ to spare.”

“Xigbar will try anything to keep his money, but I suspect in my case it's more of a poor joke.”

“Ah, yeah, he's got a weird sense of humor,” Demyx agreed fondly.

“It goes entirely unappreciated.”

Demyx shrugged. “But five thousand! That's a lot... What kind of place do you even _live_ in?”

Zexion did not mention how discounted the supply he provided Xigbar with truly was. Five thousand was nothing, to him. “Little point in asking when we'll be there shortly.”

“Oh, yeah...”

Lexaeus went to get the car door. Zexion approached the waiting back seat and told Demyx, “You can ride in the front with Lexaeus.”

He felt more comfortable with Demyx where he could be watched.

“Cool,” Demyx said, going to get into the passenger seat. Lexaeus studied Zexion's expression quickly.

“You trust me to know what I'm doing, of course,” Zexion said softly.

Lexaeus nodded, and spoke back just as quietly. “Even so, no concealed weaponry. He might be capable hand-to-hand. I'll keep close watch.”

“He won't try. Have I ever misjudged character before?”

Lexaeus went to the driver's seat. Zexion raised his eyebrows slightly at his silence, but did not comment.

They'd barely started moving before Demyx had turned on the radio and started fiddling with the stations. Zexion sighed.

“Do you always invite your musical tastes into other people's cars?”

“Is there a station you want?” Demyx asked. “It wasn't already on, so I figured you didn't have a favorite.”

Zexion pressed his fingertips to his temple. “Whatever you decide, do so quietly.”

Surprisingly, what Demyx settled on was classical guitar, and he sat back and hummed along with the music for a while. The lack of conversation got to him eventually, though, the drive stretching on too long for no one to say anything.

“This is a _real_ nice car,” he commented.

Zexion said nothing, watching out the window as they entered the upscale part of town.

“Whoa,” Demyx's eyes widened. “This is a _real_ nice neighbourhood, too. You're totally rich!”

It took a great amount of effort to contain another sigh. Zexion stared ahead at the tall, sleek building he lived in, and tried to ignore Demyx's chatter.

“I've never even seen inside places like this. Someone would call the cops, if I played around here.”

At that, Zexion managed a very slight laugh. Lexaeus was silent, but surprised to hear the sound.

They pulled into an underground garage, the cars in their designated parking spots all equal in worth to Zexion's. Demyx whistled and turned in his seat, trying to look at Zexion.

“These aren't... _all_ yours, are they?”

Zexion covered a snicker. “No. They belong to the other residents,” he answered. He didn't mention that almost all the other residents also worked for Xemnas.

“Oh,” Demyx reddened. “I thought you might be, like... one of those aloof magazine billionaires.”

“I'm not a billionaire.” Zexion smirked. “Not yet.”

“Whoa,” Demyx breathed.

Lexaeus brought the car to their parking spot and turned off the ignition, promptly getting out of the car and rounding it to open Zexion's door for him. Zexion did not thank him aloud, and led the way to the nearby elevators.

Demyx got out on his own, hoisting his guitar case out and hastening to catch up. “So... is he like, a bodyguard or butler or...?”

“Lexaeus is my associate, and acting bodyguard. I have no need for a butler.” The elevator arrived promptly, and Zexion entered and pressed the button for the sixth floor. He cast a sidelong glance at Demyx and hid another smirk. “A maid will do.”

Demyx missed that, too absorbed in inspecting the elevator. The floor looked like marble and the walls were mirrored; easily the fanciest elevator he had ever been in. Lexaeus was a buffer between them, bothered by _something_ about Demyx.

There was another code to input to get into Zexion's expansive condo. There was little more than bare furniture in the place, apart from a wall of entirely filled bookcases.

“You're like one of _those_ rich people!” Demyx observed loudly. “You're really smart too, right?”

Lexaeus closed the door behind them. Zexion pressed his hand to his temple.

“Keep him contained while I put this away,” he told Lexaeus. With a nod, Lexaeus herded Demyx aside.

There was a side room Zexion went into that looked like a study, even more books in here. Removing several, he uncovered a safe and unlocked it, stowing the bag of money inside before concealing it again. There was no other sign of business in the house.

While Zexion was busy, Demyx approached the books in the living room and tried to sound out the titles under his breath, most of them too lengthy and complicated for him to understand.

“You'll start paying me back now,” Zexion announced as he came back into the room, handing Lexaeus his jacket.

“Oh,” Demyx started, and began unbuttoning his ragged coat.

“You'll find all the supplies you need in the cupboard there.”

“Supplies?” Demyx echoed. “Like condoms, or like... toys?”

Zexion fought a blush. “Just go.”

Demyx went to open the cupboard in question, and blinked at the array of cleaning supplies he found. “... Oh, like... _maid_.”

“I expect the entire place spotless,” Zexion said, making no mention of the fact that everything seemed completely clean already. “Once you've done that, you may come to bed.”

Demyx had catered to stranger fetishes. He resumed taking off his jacket. “Okay.”

Any further conversation stalled at the sound of Lexaeus's phone, which he answered with a simple, “Yes.”

Uninterested, Demyx inspected the cleaning materials in an attempt to discern their uses, but Zexion watched Lexaeus carefully. His expression betrayed nothing, his voice very even.

“Needed promptly? We have circumstances.”

Zexion arched an eyebrow.

“... Understood, sir.” Lexaeus closed his phone and turned to Zexion again. It was subtle, but Zexion could tell he was discomfited. “I must go report.”

He didn't want to leave Zexion on his own with a stranger. Truthfully, Zexion wasn't keen on it either, but he knew who'd called and that he could not insist Lexaeus stay.

“Return here the moment you're released,” Zexion instructed, as though he needed to. With a nod, Lexaeus went to the door.

And Zexion was left alone. With Demyx.

He didn't suspect that Demyx would try anything violent or shady, but Zexion was so rarely on his own without Lexaeus as a buffer between him and the rest of the world that he couldn't help but be uneasy. Covering any shred of emotion, Zexion went to the bookshelf and selected one of the volumes just as an excuse to ignore Demyx.

“So, uh... Are you gonna put me in some kind of costume?”

If only Demyx intended on making it easy for him. Zexion paused. “... If you would like some gloves, you should find them hanging there.”

“I mean, like, a maid outfit? Or something like that?” Demyx asked.

Zexion raised an eyebrow. “I don't believe that's especially practical to actual cleaning.”

Baffled, Demyx tilted his head. “So... you're gonna get off just watching me like this? Weird.”

Zexion barely understood him and was too tired to attempt to reason. “I'm going to bed.”

“... Should I go _now_ , then?” Demyx was hopelessly confused.

“Just clean up and go to bed,” Zexion sighed. He turned to go down the hall, but Demyx caught up with him and loosely caught onto his sleeve.

“Wait – I just... wanna get how your fetish works so I can do it right.”

Paling, Zexion pulled away from the touch immediately. “Excuse me?”

“Like, maid-kink thing, I know that part, but... What're you watching for?” Demyx inquired. “Xiggy's done the French-maid-costume thing with me but not really with _roleplay_...”

Not usually flustered by sexual matters, Zexion also wasn't used to be _accused_ of... such things. He bristled. “N-now _look_ here...”

“Yeah?” Honestly confused, Demyx waited for clarification.

“I'm not asking you to do this to give me some sort of... gratification,” Zexion said tensely. “You wanted to pay for the night, and I've told you how. Goodnight.”

“So,” Demyx spoke slowly, “you don't want to have sex with me?”

“Don't you think I would have _asked?_ ”

“ _Ohh_...” Demyx blinked, understanding clicking into place. “No one's ever taken me home without wanting me to... _Okay_ , I get it now!”

Zexion balked, unsure how to take that. “I can see why, when you assume free labour is equated to a fetish.”

He reddened. “I've never been asked for the other thing! That's why I wanted to go with you, you're pretty, I wouldn't have to work hard to get it up -”

“I don't need to hear this,” Zexion interrupted, face hot.

Demyx had the good grace to look sheepish. “Sorry. If it's just cleaning, I can do that.”

“Good.” Zexion relaxed marginally. “I will be up reading for a while still if you have any questions.”

“Sure. Not like this is hard, though, right?” Demyx said, feigning confidence. He'd never had a home to clean before, but it was probably all intuitive. “... Is it hard?”

“It requires very little thought, if that is what you mean.”

“Okay. Cool. Easy.” Demyx grinned, picking up some lemon-scented cleaner.

“Goodnight, then.” Zexion turned, going back down the hall to his bedroom.

“G'night,” Demyx cheerfully called after him, then set about looking for water. He knew _that_ was an important part of cleaning.

Everything looked pretty spotless already. There was only one place that seemed to have any dust at all. Dousing a rag in cleaner before soaking it in a large bowl, Demyx began to scrub at the book spines. He didn't hear Lexaeus come back in.

Lexaeus stared. He stared for a long moment before locking the door and approaching, taking Demyx by the back of the neck and marching him to Zexion's room.

“Hey...!” Demyx protested. “I was busy...”

Lexaeus knocked on Zexion's bedroom door once.

“Enter.” Dressed in satin pyjamas, Zexion was under his prim covers with his book open in hand.

Opening the door, Lexaeus pushed Demyx gently forward. “... He was scrubbing your books.”

“I was _told_ to clean, it's fine, big guy!”

Zexion sat up higher, alarmed. “Scrubbing them with _what?_ ”

Demyx blinked. “Um, some lemony stuff and water?”

Zexion had never moved faster in his life. He bolted up, covers shoved off. “I hope this is a joke.”

He all but flew by to go inspect his books, and Demyx's surprise became a sense of sheepish dread. Looking to Lexaeus, he guessed, “I fucked up?”

Lexaeus said nothing, but he almost felt bad for him. They followed Zexion out to the living room, watching him pull damp books from the shelf.

“You got my books wet _intentionally?_ ” There was emotion in Zexion's voice for the first time.

“I... thought that's how you clean things...”

“I cannot believe you-...” Zexion caught himself, his voice raised. He took in a deep breath and let it out, counting down in his head. “Lexaeus, please find all of the books that have been affected and start drying them _now_.”

Unused to seeing Zexion so upset, Lexaeus didn't hesitate. He went to the bookcase immediately.

Demyx's shoulders were hunched. “... Honest, I didn't, on purpose-... I thought I was doing it right, anyone I've seen clean has giant buckets of soapy water and chemicals and I didn't think there were different ways to clean things because how would anything be clean without water-?”

“You-... just-... don't touch anything else.” Zexion grit his teeth.

“Yeah, uh, okay...”

Zexion began setting as many of his books as he could flat on the coffee table, then side tables, then the chairs. Any horizontal surface would do, and a dismaying number of books had been washed. He seethed quietly.

At least there didn't appear to be any ink running. Some pages would be stained.

Unable to stay quiet, Demyx spoke again. “I really am sorry...”

“I don't need your apology.”

“... Should I leave?” Demyx asked, subdued.

Zexion sighed. He didn't have much in the way of a conscience, but he did stand by his word. “Just... go to bed. I doubt you'd find your way back if I turned you out now.”

“Sure...” Demyx bit his lip. “Uh, where _is_ my bed? Can I still stay with you...?”

“Quite honestly, I don't care where you stay.” Zexion flipped the pages of one of his volumes to prevent them from getting stuck.

Demyx retreated to Zexion's room. Once he was gone, Zexion sighed and turned to Lexaeus, who was inspecting books for damage before drying them.

“Can you take care of these?”

Lexaeus nodded once. “They are not too badly harmed.”

“I'm only thankful you noticed.”

“The Superior had poor timing,” Lexaeus said. “I should not have left you alone with him.”

“I was foolish. I should not have trusted him unsupervised.”

“The boy is obviously ignorant,” Lexaeus commented.

“And remarkably uncorrupted...” Zexion agreed.

“Perhaps he is...” Lexaeus paused, choosing his words delicately. “Simple.”

“... No, I don't think so. Somewhat dim, perhaps, but I would not go further than that.”

“A result of a lack of education,” Lexaeus said.

“Or a lack of willingness to learn.” Zexion pulled back, giving his books another mournful look. “I may have been harsher than he has the capacity to deal with.”

“Do you think so?”

“Actually... I'm not sure.”

Lexaeus paused and glanced at him. Those weren't words he was used to hearing out of Zexion's mouth.

“I believe you have this under control.” Zexion stepped away. “But if he comes near the books again... remove him.”

“Understood.”

Zexion ran a hand through his hair. “Alert me of any more... disturbances.”

Demyx hovered at Zexion’s bedroom door, standing hunched in an almost comic display of contrition.

“Did I wreck anything?” he asked.

“Nothing seems damaged beyond repair.”

Demyx relaxed. “That's good! Right?”

“We were lucky,” Zexion corrected, eyes narrow.

“Oh.” Demyx shrunk again.

“I supposed I can't expect any payment for them if they are damaged.”

Demyx exhaled, relieved once more. “Nope... But, I can make it up to you! I'll try cleaning again, maybe I just need instructions.”

“No.”

“... I could do something else?” he suggested.

“There's nothing else I need tonight, and I suspect giving you another job will only cause me more trouble.”

Demyx deflated. “... Sorry. M'only really good at music. And sex.”

“Another day I may take you up on the offer of music.”

“Really?”

“I'm not _against_ music,” Zexion replied, not sure why he sounded so surprised.

“You just look like, you know... Like you want silence so you can read and do smart-stuff, or so if you need to talk everyone's listening and no other noise is allowed.”

Startlingly insightful. Zexion hesitated. “... There may be truth to that, but music also can help me think.”

“Well, I can play for you!”

“I will... consider it. Another time.”

“What about to sleep? I can do that, too,” Demyx offered.

“I am quite a light sleeper.”

“That's what music's _for_. Like lullabies, you know?”

Sensing that he would not drop it any time soon, Zexion sighed. “Very well, if you think you can play some.”

Eager to do _something_ , Demyx hurried to get his guitar. Zexion returned to his bed. It look up most of the room, and was certainly larger than he needed only for himself. There was room for Demyx to sit without the danger of coming into direct contact with him.

“Leave the door open,” Zexion instructed when Demyx returned with his guitar case. If he tried _anything_ , Zexion wanted no barriers between them and Lexaeus.

Demyx paused with his hand on the doorknob, then removed it. He knelt to open the case and retrieve his only valued possession. “You can tell me to stop if it sucks, I won't get offended.”

“I won't hesitate.”

“Yeah, you wouldn't, would you?” Demyx laughed, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. Positioning his fingers, he kept the notes soft as he started to play.

The song wasn't one Zexion had ever heard before. Demyx had written it himself, a song composed specifically to calm himself down after a rough day. For a while, Zexion watched before closing his eyes, listening.

He had to admit, it was a soothing tune.

“If this happens again, you will be doing real work,” Zexion cautioned, leaning into his pillows.

Demyx almost missed a note. “Yeah,” he murmured, privately stunned.

He didn't think he'd ever be welcome in Zexion's apartment again.

The change in Zexion's breathing was difficult to pinpoint, but at some point, he drifted off. Demyx played for a while longer until he noticed.

They both slept better than usual.


	10. Riku, Sora

With the olive branch extended, Riku had begun to feel better about the state of his relationship with Sora, right up until he remembered that they'd missed a few key pieces of information. Namely, how to get in contact with each other. He hadn't given Sora his new phone number, there was no way Sora could just stop by without Riku's parents lynching him, and they couldn't exactly have exchanged email addresses when only one of them had a computer.

The only surefire way Riku knew of to see Sora was to go to the strip club, which was the least desirable option for them both, he was certain. He didn't want to see Sora in an environment in which he was embarrassed and uncomfortable, he wanted... normalcy. Just two people spending time together and catching up.

So he did the only thing he could think of.

He hadn't been entirely sure he remembered the way to Sora's apartment building right up until he recognized it, and he'd needed to wait almost fifteen minutes for someone to let him into the building. Full of self-doubt, Riku went up to the apartment he'd visited for the Christmas party and found the same cheap wreath on the door.

Moment of truth. He nervously knocked on the door.

Inside, Sora perked up at the sound, home with Axel in the hours before the bar opened. Axel paraded around the living room, busy playing dress-up and getting Sora's (lacking) opinions on various skirt and shirt combinations.

“Did we order food?” Axel frowned.

“I wish.” Sora hauled himself off the couch, and Axel retreated to his room to put on a different shirt.

Riku shoved his hands in his pockets and started to consider retreating before he was seen, but it was too late for that. Sora pulled open the door and felt his heart stop.

“Riku?”

“... Hey,” he greeted, kind of glad the choice had been taken away from him. “I, uh, wasn't sure how to call you.”

“You remembered my address, though...?”

“I – yeah.” Riku started to redden. Now that it'd been put that way, he realized how creepy his impromptu visit probably was.

Maybe he should have tried the bar.

Sora shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Uh, so... Do you need something?”

“I just figured, if you still want to try being friends, we should get to know each other again,” Riku said, kind of faltering. “Maybe over coffee or something?”

Sora drew out a long sound of uncertainty, looking back into the apartment at a curious Axel.

Remembering that this was _Sora_ , Riku added, “It doesn't have to be coffee. We could get milkshakes.”

Sora turned back towards Riku. “... Milkshakes?”

“Yeah. There's an ice cream place I know.” He'd taken Roxas there before on his birthday and other special occasion.

Sora weighed his options, briefly. “I, uh, I might have enough change to get a milkshake.”

Riku gave him a tentative grin. “Great. Do you have work tonight?”

“Yeah... Are you coming to the bar?” Sora asked.

“No, I just wanted to know if you had to be back home soon...”

Relieved, Sora answered, “Not for a few hours.”

“Great. So, uh, shall we?”

Sora glanced over his shoulder once more. Emphatic, Axel crossed his arms and started mouthing 'No' at him repeatedly. Sora dithered.

“... This isn't a date, right? 'Cause I'm not okay with that if you're with someone else...”

“No – no, of course not,” Riku replied. “I was afraid I was pushing it with 'friends'.”

Sora wasn't sure if that made him feel better or not. “Okay, um, just wait out here for _one_ second.”

And then he closed the door in Riku's face.

Riku decided he didn't mind that. Now he had time to beat himself up for coming to Sora's _apartment_ like some kind of stalker.

“This is a date,” Axel hissed.

Not controlling his volume as well, Sora protested, “He says he wants to be friends. _Namine_ says I should give him a chance.”

“Sora... Namine lied.”

Sora's mouth fell open in shock. “Namine doesn't lie!”

“What's more likely: that she was wrong, or she lied?” Axel retorted. “I'm going with the percentages, here.”

“Okay, Namine isn't actually the point here. What if this is good for me? You said I should get closure, or-... maybe Kairi did, I don't remember.”

“By going on a date with him? That'll give you closure?” Axel looked dubious.

“It's not a date. It's... milkshakes.”

“Next thing you know, you're going steady and making out at lover's peak.”

Sora passed him on his way into their tiny kitchen, hands over his ears. “Nope, I can't hear you.”

“You can go to prom together.”

“I hear nothing!” Sora called back, and returned a moment later, sliding something metal into his pocket before searching the usual spots for change.

“If you come back with hickeys, I fucking swear...”

Sora stuffed coins and small bills into his pockets. “I'm just going to try talking to him. And then maybe we won't be friends, but I'll still get a milkshake.”

Axel huffed, exasperated. “If this just about the ice cream? I could provide ice cream.”

“It's-... I dunno what it's about, okay? But if I'm not back in two hours, you can send a search party.”

“Two hours,” Axel repeated, something in his tone indicating that he really would.

“And I promise not to do anything you would do,” Sora added, flashing a cheeky grin.

“That gives me mixed feelings.” Axel rolled his eyes. “Alright, have fun, I guess.”

“Thanks.” Sora relaxed, glad their discussion didn't feel like a fight anymore. He picked up the bulky sweater he wore in lieu of a coat, but paused once more by the door and looked back. “It _is_ weird, though, right? That he showed up here. I'm not crazy?”

“It's super weird,” Axel confirmed.

Sora grinned. “ _So_ weird,” he agreed, then pulled the door open. “Ha, sorry about that...”

Riku was able to fake a smile despite all he'd heard through the door. “No problem.”

“So... milkshakes?” Sora shut the door behind him, neglecting to lock it. Axel would get it.

“Yeah.”

Riku kept his hands in his pockets, because the urge to hold one of Sora's was disturbingly natural.

 

* * *

 

Small talk was difficult. Riku didn't want to just launch into all the questions he had before they were comfortable, but every topic he could come up with just felt _wrong_. Work was off the table, the weather was uninteresting, politics went over Sora's head.

In the end, Riku settled on talking about Axel, of all topics. He knew that if Sora would have anything to say, it would be about his friends, and Riku couldn't remember anyone else's name. For his part, Sora focused most of his energy on keeping the conversation away from Axel's borderline obsession with Roxas, since he wasn't remotely sure how to approach _that_ topic.

Riku could tell he was holding something back, though. He wondered if he'd made a mistake, inviting him out. Maybe Sora wasn't really interested in repairing the bridge Riku had burned.

Things continued to be awkward when they simultaneously went to hold the door to the ice cream place, but at least Sora had the grace to laugh it off.

“So,” he began, eager to change the subject now that they'd arrived, “what flavour's the best?”

“Oh – I dunno,” Riku shrugged, rubbing his hands together to speed along the process of warming them. “I usually just get vanilla.”

Sora snorted.

“What? Vanilla doesn't get enough respect.”

“No, it's just... you _would_ ,” Sora explained.

Riku grinned faintly. “Can I guess what you'd get?”

“You can try,” Sora replied, some of the tension leaving him now that things were starting to feel somewhat normal, even kind of fun.

“You’d get some kind of bizarre concoction. It always includes chocolate.”

“It wouldn't be _that_ weird,” Sora protested. “Just like chocolate and strawberry. Maybe mint too.”

“That's weird, Sora.”

“And cookies,” Sora almost whispered, mentally tasting his mixture and deeming it wonderful.

Riku snickered. Despite rolling his eyes, Sora started to laugh.

“C'mon, dork,” Riku said, the possibility that was too familiar not occurring to him until they'd approached the counter.

Back then - before they were even anything more than friends - 'dork' had been on par with a pet name. Riku used to ruffle Sora's hair, call him that, and when Sora faked a pout he'd kiss him so long as they were in private.

Sora didn't seem to mind, his grin spreading as he followed Riku up to the cashier. The two of them ordered – a vanilla milkshake and a chocolate-strawberry one, with added chocolate chips – and went to sit at one of the tiny tables by the window. Riku removed his coat and put it over the back of his chair before sitting down, Sora sliding into the one across from him with the straw already in his mouth.

Maybe it was to prevent things from getting too familiar, but Riku found himself pressed towards the question that had kept him awake at night. “So, uh... I wasn't gonna ask about work, but. How did you end up-?”

Sora stared at the table for a moment, then reached into his pocket without a word.

“... You don't have to answer,” Riku said.

Unscrewing the cap to the flask he'd brought, Sora emptied the contents into his milkshake and stirred with his straw. Riku watched him add the alcohol with a furrowed brow.

“It's... hard to explain,” Sora said at last. “I did things I can't make excuses for...”

“You?”

“Me, what?” Sora blinked.

“I just can't picture you doing anything... bad,” Riku explained.

Sora shrugged. “Things were different after we were... over.”

“Well... What happened?”

“Um...” Sora bit his lip. “Well, you know my mom was kind of... not always okay after everything with my dad.”

Riku remembered. The night Sora's father had left, he'd snuck out of his parents' house and climbed in through Sora's window so the two of them could play video games. Riku had tried not to see Sora's tears until, at some point, they'd stopped pretending to be tough and hugged until they both fell asleep.

“She started drinking a lot of the time... and then leaving bottles out,” Sora went on, looking away.

The implication hit Riku right away. “... Fuck, I'm sorry.”

Sora shrugged again and sipped his boozy milkshake. “It helped for a lot of things. But I kept getting caught, and it didn't take long for them to connect it back to my mom.”

“Does Axel monitor how much you drink? As a bartender...” Did Axel know Sora had taken a flask out of the house?

“Yeah, Axel takes care of me,” Sora answered.

“Okay... good.” Riku still wasn't sure how he felt about Sora's drinking. It was still early in the afternoon, and that had been much more than a shot...

“Axel's kind of the reason I have that job,” Sora went on. “Actually, any job, really.”

“Really?” Riku was even more sure he didn't like Axel, if he was responsible for the stripping.

“Well, yeah, 'cause -... Actually, I'm getting ahead of myself. Where was I?” Sora took a long sip. “Oh yeah, so I got taken out of my mom's house, and I moved in with my aunt and uncle for a while.”

Riku nodded, fiddling with the straw of his untouched milkshake.

“And then, they put me in rehab... a bunch of times, I don't even remember.” Sora smiled, like that wasn't upsetting. “... I turned eighteen in rehab, and at the end of it I waited for them to pick me up...”

“... And they didn't,” Riku said.

Sora nodded.

“... I'm so sorry.”

“Once the staff figured out they weren't going to pick up the phone, and it started to get late, they gave me the address of a shelter,” Sora went on. “That's where I met Axel. It wasn't like a gay shelter or anything, so we looked out for each other – made sure no one would harass us, or steal our stuff while one of us slept...”

Unwillingly, Riku reevaluated his opinion of Axel. The grip on his milkshake tightened. “He sounds like a good friend.”

“Yeah, he is.” After a beat, Sora added, “He _is_ just a friend, by the way. Really.”

“I'm glad,” Riku nodded, then realized how that could sound. “Not because – It's not about me. He just...” Riku trailed off lamely. “He makes Roxas happy sometimes, and he deserves that.”

Sora raised his eyebrow. “You don't think you make Roxas happy?”

“I know I don't. I try, but... we don't really do 'happy'.”

Sora's lips turned down, and he sucked hard on his straw. “... I think I get it. Happy isn't as easy as I used to think it was...”

“Axel seems to do it for him, though, as much as Roxas can be happy. Do you... have anything – anyone -  that makes you happy?”

Sora swallowed a large mouthful of ice cream and chocolate chips. “My friends do, most of the time. Axel, and Kairi, and Namine... What about you?”

Riku paused for a little too long.

Not even heroin made him feel anything, anymore.

“Riku?”

“... I'm working on it.”

Sora tried not to look pitying. He knew Riku hated that. “M'sorry...”

“Don't be,” Riku shook his head. “I'm so much better off than-... than everyone I know. I'll have a job when my father thinks I'm ready, I have somewhere to live rent-free... I'm fine.”

“You always used to say that.”

“I'm lucky and I know it,” Riku replied, thinking of his bruises, his hunger, the belittling, the threats.

“Lucky isn't the same as happy,” Sora said. “... Does it help at all, to have Roxas?”

“Yes,” Riku said immediately. “I think he might be the only thing keeping me together. Happy or not, we need each other.”

“Then I'm glad,” Sora said, and smiled.

“... By the way... My parents don't really know about him,” Riku said, _needing_ to clarify as much about his relationship with Roxas as he could. “I mean, they suspect, but they don't know _him_. They figure, since I'm gay, I'm probably out sleeping with dozens of guys.”

Sora winced. “Sorry for being kind of a jerk about you being out with him, and all. I know it's not like that was about me.”

“Well, the only reason I mention it is 'cause I want you to know... If my parents were different, or I was, back then? I would've been proud to call you my boyfriend.”

The smile that spread over Sora's face was warm.

“I'm glad I had a chance to tell you that,” Riku said, starting to smile back. “... Thanks.”

“You don't have to say it like you're never gonna see me again,” Sora teased.

Riku almost laughed. “If you don't get home at a decent time, who knows. Axel might kill me.”

“Yeah, that's true,” Sora snickered.

“Oh well, I'm willing to risk it.”

Sora slurped at his milkshake. “It was always my favourite thing, you know. When you smiled.”

Riku couldn't help but grin more. “I never smiled more than when I was with you.”

“Yeah, 'cause I made you.”

“Sometimes with force.”

“Yep,” Sora said proudly.

They were both thinking of the times that Sora would tackle him, get his thumbs over the corners of Riku's lips, and push them upwards until Riku started laughing despite himself.

Things didn't feel that familiar between them – they just couldn't, after everything they'd been through – but it was good enough.

With a snort, Riku picked up his milkshake at last. Sora lifted his, and said, “Cheers?”

“Cheers.” Riku bumped his shake against Sora's.


	11. Axel, Roxas

The backpack Roxas was carrying was packed so full that the straps threatened to tear into his shoulders. It was full of everything he'd stolen since he’d left the hospital. He hadn’t been up to the task of pawning it all off, but money and… everything else was running dangerously low, so he braved the frigid January afternoon.

Like any self-respecting thief, he knew how to keep a low profile while walking down the street. His head was low, posture unobtrusive as he navigated the piles of discoloured slush pushed onto the sidewalk from the streets. In any normal circumstance, he wouldn't have been called attention to.

He hadn't anticipated crossing paths with Axel. Unusually dressed in jeans and a bulky jacket, Axel had been contemplating a fast food joint with the intensity of someone making a life-altering decision when he'd noticed Roxas only a few feet away.

“Hey,” he called, surprised. Likewise, Roxas jerked like he'd been shoved and looked at Axel with mild shock.

“Axel, hey!” He almost did a double-take at what Axel was wearing. He didn't even have make up on. It was unusual for him, but still a good look.

Axel grinned. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Didn't know you even existed outside of sleazy bars... and your place,” Roxas commented.

“On the contrary. I make a habit of existing pretty much everywhere I go.”

“Never would've guessed,” Roxas grinned, hiding uncertainty. He knew he really should make an excuse and keep going.

“Want to tag along to today's fine dining choice?” Axel indicated the fast food place. “It boasts a very romantic atmosphere.”

Roxas hesitated. He _was_ hungry, but... “I'm kind of low on cash.”

Axel shrugged. “I'll buy.”

Free food? He couldn't pass that up. Roxas's lips twitched. “Fine, alright.”

“You're not going to load up on food just 'cause it's on my dollar, are you?” Axel asked, grabbing the door. Roxas entered with a puff of relief, glad to be out of the cold.

“Not now that you _said_ it.”

“You'd hate to be predictable,” Axel surmised, grinning.

“Exactly.” Roxas looked up at a fairly standard menu and rolled his shoulders back, trying to readjust the heavy bag. Axel didn't bother looking, knowing what he'd get already.

“So, what brings you out this way, anyway?”

Roxas thought of an excuse while pretending to peruse the menu, decision actually having already been made. “Looking for a bit of work.”

“That so? If you knew anything about bartending, I'd put a word in for you.”

“It's not the drinks that are the problem,” Roxas explained. “It's the conversation.”

“We don't all get sob stories,” Axel snickered. “Not that much conversation at a strip bar.”

“Not to mention I look like one of your strippers.” His odd resemblance to Sora was something everyone observed, but wisely had made an unspoken agreement to never call into question. If Riku’s ex turned out to be Roxas’s secret brother or something, he really didn’t want to know, and mercifully Sora seemed to share that feeling.

“That could get you tips,” Axel pointed out.

“And unwanted attention.”

“Fair enough. Most of the customers aren't that appealing,” he agreed.

The two of them were called up to the counter then, and Roxas took the opportunity while Axel was ordering, half-bent over the counter, to check him out. His jeans were old and faded, but clung to his ass very nicely. Seeing him dressed in more traditionally masculine clothing was so strangely novel.

Giving his own order next, Roxas watched Axel remove his credit card from his front pocket.

“If you want, you can find a table,” Axel offered. “I'll bring the food over.”

Anxious to put his bag down, that sounded like just the reprieve he needed. “Sure, thanks,” Roxas said, and went to find a free table. He chose one by the frosted window, meant to seat four. In this case, their third wheel was going to be the heavy bag, which Roxas set in the seat beside him heavily.

Everything loaded up on one tray, Axel found Roxas with ease and slid in across from him. “Here you are, made with love.”

“I can tell,” Roxas grinned, unwrapping his burger. Axel started digging into the extra large fry first.

“What work are you even looking for?”

“I don't know,” he replied evasively. “Whatever I can get, I guess.”

“As long as it's not social,” Axel snorted.

“That's preferred,” he admitted, and ate a couple of fries. “So what's with the get up? Or lack of.”

“Went to the bank. No one _there_ worth the effort of dressing up for. 'Sides, they hassle me less over my ID when I'm more... conventionally guy-looking.”

“Ah. I'm never really prepared to see you like this,” Roxas said.

“Like watching a dog meow, right?”

“Basically, only very sexually confusing.”

Axel laughed. “What, is my _raw masculinity_ a turn on?”

“Maybe,” Roxas grinned. “How would you know my type.”

“Well, I'm basing most of my guesses on Riku. You wouldn't have sex with him if he wasn't attractive to you, so, you like them... pretty but asshole-ish?”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “I like them male and willing. Maybe the asshole thing has a little merit.”

“Huh. You weren't kidding, I must really confuse you.” Axel snickered. “But as long as you like jerks, I'm in the running.”

“Exactly.” Roxas sipped his drink, sweet bubbly caffeine burning his dry throat. “Not that you don't make a pretty woman, but if I didn't know what was going on under the skirt...”

“I resent that you think you know,” Axel claimed, fluttering his eyelashes and reaching for his drink. “I've kept things very above-the-waist, as is ladylike.”

“I know,” Roxas grumbled.

Axel nudged his foot lightly. “Hey, no complaints. You seem to like it when it's happening.”

“Obviously,” Roxas said, and pushed away the rest of his fries, “but you know how I feel about this.”

“Not really, actually,” Axel shrugged. “Well – more like, I don't get why.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why should I not want to touch you? Or see you naked at least.”

“You're still getting off, in the end. No risk involved.”

“It's not a risk to _see_ you,” Roxas argued.

“Until that's not enough.”

Not having an answer for that, Roxas faltered and shrugged.

Considering over a long sip of soda, Axel finally decided, “Look. If you can promise me you won't get weird about it, we can at least fool around fully unclothed.”

Roxas perked up slightly. “Yeah?”

He took another short sip while he second-guessed himself, but the promise had been made. “I can't morally go through with it unless I'm wearing a condom, though. Even if I don't get off, I'd rather be too cautious 'bout this one thing. And you can't touch below the waist, 'least the first time, and we'll see about anything else later. Deal?”

“I'm familiar with condoms, Ax,” Roxas gave him a look, but it didn't last. “Alright, deal.”

“You're going to ruin my image of you as a pure, delicate flower.”

“And I worked so hard to maintain that while you were sucking my cock.”

“It's sad to think those efforts were in vain.”

“Shame,” Roxas shook his head.

Axel finished off some more fries. “I'd suggest we go back to mine from here, but you had shit to do...”

Roxas's eyes almost flickered to the bag. “Yeah... Thanks for the food, though.”

“No problem,” Axel's lips quirked, picking up his burger at last. “See you around?”

“Sure. There a good time?”

“Just call me. Did I give you my number?”

Roxas jerked his head a little in refusal. “I don't have a phone. Sorry.”

Axel wasn't actually surprised. “Then just stop by whenever. If it's before six, either Sora or I'll be home... Otherwise, you know where the bar is.”

“I'll make sure to come by soon,” Roxas promised, getting up. He shouldered the bag and groaned.

“Lookin' forward to it,” Axel said, grinning. “See y'later, Rox.”

Roxas nodded and headed out of the restaurant, aware of Axel watching him go.

 

* * *

 

Trading off all his scores without raising suspicion had taken days, hitting every pawn shop and jewellery buyer the bus system could reach, inventing some dead great aunt or lucky garage sale find for those who bothered to ask.

Added up with the cash he’d picked up from wallets and purses, Roxas was living almost steadily. A large chunk of his profit went to helping Riku pay down his hospitals bills - a debt they’d be fighting back for months to come - another saved for rent, and finally, handsomely resupplying their heroin stash. What was left over he could stretch out and make last about a month. It felt good, _safe_.

There was just one last thing he was going to buy…

It was still a couple hours til six. Roxas wanted time to make this last, and not to cut Axel off partway through getting ready. Fun as it could be to ruin his make up, it would be rude to do so on a workday.

One hand stayed in the pocket of his new jeans as he climbed the stairs. He’d needed a replacement, anyway, having worn the old ones almost everyday since he’d gotten them, and not looking forward to lasting the winter with torn out knees and frayed, dragging hems. They were only thrift store, but they fit over his hips and his ass nicely enough that he thought they’d interest Axel… or interest him in taking them off, anyway.

It didn’t occur to him to wonder if Sora would be home, too, until he had already found the familiar door. Idly, Roxas hoped they’d have the apartment to themselves, but ultimately he didn’t actually care. It wouldn’t change his plans. He raised a fist and knocked loudly enough to be heard in any room.

It wasn’t necessary. Axel wasn’t far from the door, lounging in front of a small metal trash can filled with what he’d assured his roommate was a ‘controlled fire’. With the amount their heating bill had been climbing, Sora hadn’t argued his logic, but still prefered to hang out at Kairi’s heated apartment when she was home. So for now, Axel had the fire to himself, and continued to stave off the cold by zipping a hoodie over the one he was already wearing.

Of course, bothering to wear a shirt under the two sweaters was just _excessive_.

He poked a little more life into the fire as he got up. He wasn’t expecting anyone, but since he didn’t start at the bar until midnight, he could stand a break from the monotony. As long as it wasn’t Riku again.

Instead, he was pleasantly greeted by a red-cheeked blonde outside his door. Leaning against the frame, he grinned, “Rox! What a surprise.”

Glad to see him out of ‘costume’, Roxas returned it. “You had no idea you should expect me.”

“I'm caught so unprepared. I'm not even dressed for the occasion,” Axel bemoaned as he stepped aside to let him in, “which might've been your intention, you pervert.”

“Well if you had been in the shower or something, that would be an opportunity…” He could smell something strange as he entered… Smoke?

Axel shut the door behind them. “Should've been here two hours ago.”

“Next time.” Roxas took two more steps into the apartment, and stopped. “There's a fire in your living room,” he observed, bemused.

“Oh, yeah. I should put that out, if we're moving to the bedroom.” Given their history, and their conversation the last time they’d seen each other, that was inevitable.

Roxas blinked as he watched Axel pass by him and into the kitchen. “I guess that isn't something to be concerned about, then…”

“Nah,” Axel returned with a cup of water and doused the weak flame, “I do it all the time. Handles the heating bill.”

“Sounds safe,” Roxas drawled, swatting away the smoke that rose from the trash can. At the moment, it worried him more that it wasn’t setting off an alarm.

“Safer than most people'd do it. I have a pretty good handle on fire. So…”

Axel stood close to him now, but could have been closer, Roxas noted, then immediately moved to fix that.

“So…” He echoed, leaning slightly into Axel’s chest.

A hand skimmed over Roxas’s ass. “Bedroom now?”

“I thought we would just talk out here,” Roxas teased, “have some snacks, play a board game, maybe.”

“We could do that... But we have this strict policy about not being naked in the living room.”

“Stupid policy,” Roxas said, and followed him to the bedroom.

Already, Axel was unzipping the first hoodie and abandoning it on the way. “It was put in place to hurt you.”

“Clearly.” Hearing the zipper, Roxas smirked.

Once inside, the bedroom door was shut, lights flicked on. “Might as well set up the mood lighting,” Axel explained, “since the whole point is the view.”

“Mood lighting in the middle of the afternoon.” Already Roxas was directing him back against the wall. Intrigued, and more than willing, Axel let himself be pinned.

“Do I know atmosphere, or what?”

Roxas didn’t banter back. He was unusually tempted by his throat, leaning in and nipping gently, then sucking.

“Ngh-…” Axel tilted his head to encourage him. “So...you're calling the shots, this time?”

Roxas’s lips curved against his neck. “If I get to,” he answered quietly, hands sliding to his waist, then the zipper of his hoodie.

“I'm okay with that,” Axel purred.

"Good. I want you naked.”

Axel didn’t need to be told twice, his hand going to his zipper, and popping the button. “I can oblige…”

His heart beat faster, and Roxas pulled back a bit to watch without breaking contact completely. Axel’s jeans needed only a slight push past his hips to drop. He shrugged off his unzipped hoodie, starting to slide his boxers off _so_ slowly, too slowly.

Roxas bit his lip as his eyes dragged down the familiar plane of his chest, and lower still. Impatiently, he reached to help remove Axel’s boxers that were still only teasing the contours of his hips and a hint of red hair.

Axel snickered. “Horny?”

Finally he pulled them low enough to fall, and for the first time Roxas let himself _look_.

“That wasn’t so hard, huh?” He licked his lips.

Not long ago, seeing the desire on Roxas’s face would be enough to make Axel forget himself, but he couldn’t. “Remember, looking, not touching,” he warned, sinking against the wall a little more to put himself on display. Even with precautions in place, it had been so long that he’d allowed just _this_ that he was nearly half-hard already.

“I know, I know,” Roxas agreed, appreciating the view while it was his to enjoy. “You're exceptionally good at tucking, you know that?”

“I have it down to an art.” He ran a hand briefly up his shaft, and exhaled.

Roxas’s gaze didn’t move, but he took a small step back to put Axel’s mind at ease.

“Up to you, if you want to just watch me... But I was hoping to be touching you, not myself.”

Jolted into action, Roxas started to remove his sweater. “I can get distracted for a little while.”

“Nn, your call…” Axel stroked himself slowly, making a show of it as his head tilted back to rest against the wall. The sight alone was so painfully erotic that Roxas hated to look away, but conceded to for just a second to pull his shirt over his head.

Then he nearly swore.

He’d been clumsy with the needle last night, but he’d made sure it wasn’t bleeding anymore before he came over. It must have started on the way, though, gluing his sleeve to his inner arm, going unnoticed until he’d already torn it away. It stung, but worse was the alarm of opening the injection site in front of Axel, knowing it was too late to hide it...

Catching sight of the trickle down his forearm, Axel stopped abruptly. “You’re bleeding…”

It wasn’t the first time he’d seen bloody, bruised puncture marks like these, but he’d never noticed them on Roxas all the times he’d seen him shirtless. Axel’s eyes narrowed, appraising the wound.

Roxas jerked his arm back. “Yeah, I guess. Is that a problem?”

“Open wounds around guys with HIV are problems, yeah.” Roxas wouldn’t look at him, and Axel ducked his head to meet his eyes.

“I'll wrap it up then,” Roxas dismissed, a touch panicky.

He might as well have confessed.

“Maybe this was a bad idea…”

Roxas sighed quietly, miserably. “If you want to stop, we can.”

“I want this. But I don't want to risk it, unless you've already-...”

“Already… what?”

Axel hesitated. It was awful to think, in a sick way almost to hope… “Have you ever gotten tested?”

“Yeah, I have. With the way things are with Riku and everything…”

“... Okay. Good.” He pushed his thoughts down deep, eyeing his arm once more. “I'll grab you a bandage.”

“Thanks.” Roxas still held his arm back, guarding it, and waited anxiously for Axel to leave.

Axel pulled his boxers back on as he went out towards the bathroom, and leaned on the sink. He sighed to himself, cursing his taste in men.

He wasn’t deluding himself. Roxas was gorgeous, seductive and almost-single with an _edge_ he couldn’t get enough of. Of course there had to be some catch to keep him from being too perfect. And it wasn’t like there had been no red flags. The bags under his eyes, the scratching, the weight he’d visibly lost when he disappeared from the bar for a couple weeks, the way he shivered at the slightest chill…

Axel had just… hoped he was wrong.

In the bedroom, Roxas hurriedly tried to brush the blood away with his sleeve, increasingly paranoid by how obvious it and the other scars seem now. Only when Axel returned and closed the door again did he tear his attention away from it, holding a hand out for the bandage.

Axel handed it to him and slid onto the bed beside him. Leaning in, he couldn’t help trying to soothe him and kissed Roxas’s jaw. “Alright?”

He was trying so hard to hide it, maybe he should just tell him it was a lost cause.

“Well, I’ll live,” Roxas still felt pale as he ripped open the package to apply the strip one-handed.

“... Look,” Axel sighed, “I know what that’s from, and it’s not my business. So...don't panic, alright?”

Roxas stopped, breathing again but not feeling particularly relaxed by that. It was over. He was caught. “It's not something I generally bring up to new people... Or any people.”

“And I won't bring it up, either. I could bitch about the dangers of drugs, but you know that already, and a dying guy doesn't have a lot to say on how people want to live their life.”

Roxas tried to smile a little but found it wouldn’t come. “Thanks for not trying to anyway.”

Shrugging, Axel glanced away. “Don’t mention it.”

Roxas finished smoothing the bandage down, a little obsessively. “I won't. And I won't... try to explain.”

“Not necessary.” Axel caught his cheek and kissed him firmly. “Now, we’re not mentioning it.”

Something heavy lifted from Roxas’s chest and he stole another kiss without a word.

Axel guided Roxas’s hands up to rest against his chest, and tried not to act like he was still bothered. Roxas, still jittery and not knowing how to handle Axel _knowing_ was glad to be directed, surprised as he was to be allowed to feel up his chest.

Leaning over Roxas to push him back on the bed, Axel reached back and removed his boxers again in a smooth motion. Roxas was still far too dressed for his liking, but seemed caught up in kissing him at the moment, moving to fit against his body. Letting things move as slowly as he could bear, he helped Roxas out of his jeans, pulling back from the kiss a little.

“Enough of a view, from here...?”

“Mm-hm…” Roxas nearly purred, angling his hips to let Axel slide his jeans off completely.

“Good.” Axel kissed him again, and reached blindly for a condom to put on himself.

Just knowing this was happening left Roxas so hot, and he had to resist a groan when he found himself unable to help thinking of what they _could_ be doing. There was a quiet sound of tearing foil as Axel opened the package, kissing him harder, feeling Roxas’s tongue brush along his own. He’d never wished for _more_ as badly as he did now.

They parted only when necessary for Axel to roll the condom onto himself, able to relax a bit more once it felt ‘safer’. Roxas hummed, and his hands slid curiously over his chest, searching for sensitive nerves. He was more tempted to damn the consequences and demand Axel just _fuck_ him than he’d ever admit, but he forced himself to be pleased just to be against him, touching him.

Even with the condom, Axel was more responsive than he’d ever been with Roxas, groaning appreciatively for everything that felt good.

Very gently catching Axel’s lips with his own, Roxas whispered. “I like hearing you…”

Exhaling slowly, Axel leaned closer, until his mouth pressed to Roxas’s ear. “I like damn near everything about you... Except it'd be cool if you wore clothes less often.”

His voice had become rougher. It made Roxas shiver. “The sentiment is shared.”

“So you _do_ like what you see,” he sounded amused as he wrapped a hand around Roxas's stiff cock. “Was worried this might be for something else.”

“Mm…” Roxas arched into his hand. “S'a little bit of everything.”

Axel stroked him slowly, drawing it out. “Out of curiosity, how much teasing can you take...?”

“‘Curiosity?’” Roxas’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Axel grinned in a poor impression of innocence. “I wouldn't do that _now_. Later, though, when I don't have to work at all, later, and I could tie you down for half a day just to see if I could ever make you beg...

He squeezed the base of Roxas’s erection softly, watching him close his eyes and moan.

“You could, nn, _never_ make me beg.”

“Now you're just tempting me,” Axel purred, taunting. With a light nip at his throat, his hand slid away to look for lube. Roxas made a clear sound of protest, sliding closer, and was kissed deeply in consolation. Searching fingers at last found the bottle, and he uncapped it to slick them. Sliding arms around his back, Roxas held him tightly and pushed harder into the kiss.

Feeling the desperation in his grip, Axel let the bottle drop, wrapping one lubricated hand back around Roxas’s cock, the other moving back to stroke his opening with two fingers. He was rewarded with an appreciative groan and a murmur of his name as Roxas shifted his legs wider apart.

Axel responded by squeezing gently again and making a similar sound of want. Unconsciously, he’d started pressing his needy erection against Roxas’s thigh, but was focused on working his fingers inside him and finding _that_ angle. Roxas noticed, liking the feeling of Axel hard against him. Still, he wanted to try for more, make Axel gasp and moan. Testing the limits of what was allowed, he angled his leg to grind back against him, just as his prostate was struck.

“Nngh-!”

Axel’s breath hitched nearly in sync with him. He thrust his fingers in deeper, almost growling from need.

Roxas grit his teeth, his head falling back slightly. “ _There._ ”

He could never tire of Roxas’s reaction when he gave him exactly what he needed. Axel hummed as he twisted his fingers, and then they were kissing again, and Roxas was moaning, moving against him insistently as his hands roamed over his shoulders, the back of his neck, into his hair…

It was dizzying, and Axel could hardly stay aware of himself, since he surely would have stopped himself bucking his hips against Roxas if he was. All he could focus on was seeking more sounds from him, more heat...

Fingers found his prostate over and over, and the hand that had stopped moving started to stroke him again. “Fuck-...” Roxas exhaled loudly, grabbing tighter.

He’d squeezed his eyes shut, but opened them again when he remembered the point was to look. _Seeing_ Axel like this - his body, his far-gone expression, _everything_ \- just about floored Roxas with want.

Axel rutted against him one more time before awareness flooded him. He repositioned to force himself to stop, and his strokes picked up speed. Half for the loss, Roxas groaned, but pleasure was distracting him effectively just then. Lips, tongue, and teeth all worked over his throat. Roxas swore again, stimulation igniting in him everywhere and making him forget everything else.

Axel’s voice was muffled and rough, interrupting himself with kisses as he spoke. “Seriously, Rox... I want... So badly... Hearing you beg me, I'd… _fuck_ …”

For a moment of temporary insanity, Roxas was tempted to plead then and there if it would make him act on it. Heat was racing up and down his veins, making him squirm, making him arch and moan. Expertly, Axel stroked his cock and his insides in conjunction, sucking hard at his throat.

“Fucking hell-...” Roxas rasped, hips bucking and muscles tightening around Axel’s fingers. “Gonna…”

“Do it.” Axel nipped the mark he’d left. “I want to watch you, you're so hot, Rox…”

Just his voice, lowered like that was enough to push Roxas over the edge. He held back none of his moans, grinding hard into the fingers inside of him as white spilled into Axel’s hand.

“Axel-...!”

Exhaling and shuddering a little, Axel didn’t let up until he was sure Roxas was spent. “ Shit, I need to get a camera…”

Roxas slumped against the bed, relaxed. “Mm... We could save up.”

“Good investment... Let's do that.” Axel strained to keep his voice light. He was aching, needing to touch himself _so badly_.

Roxas noticed, and pushed himself back slightly. “Can I stay?”

“Yeah, 'course…”

“I mean if you get yourself off... Can I at least be in the room?”

Axel nodded, kissing him again hungrily. Pleased, Roxas wound around him, warm and wanting to feel him as much as see him. Part of Axel was still sure he shouldn’t do this, that he should have been even more careful, but he needed this too much to listen to that worry.

The hand that had been stroking Roxas worked over himself, more roughly as though to compensate for what sensation was dulled by the condom. Stroking fast, Axel desperately wanted to take back his own condition and have Roxas touch him, but held that urge back.

Roxas’s thoughts echoed Axel’s, though he still consciously kept some distance, just enough that he could keep kissing him. He briefly wondered if Axel would notice him taking over if he got completely absorbed in pleasure...

With a heavy breath, Axel arched, breaking the kiss accidentally.

“ _Fuck…_ ”

Not missing a beat, Roxas started kissing down his throat, caught between wanting to taste as much as he could, and fighting getting hard again. He couldn’t help it, Axel was intoxicating, even holding back.

Axel had nothing to gain from prolonging his pleasure now, and stroked even faster. “Getting there…”

“Yes… Want to see…”

“Fuck, I want-... _Ngh-_...” Breathlessly groaning, Axel managed to be just conscious enough of himself not to bury his face or bite down. He let Roxas watch as he tensed, climax hitting in one satisfying wave.

Watching alone got a shiver from Roxas, and he leaned forward to rest their foreheads together.

“Yeah…” He whispered, meaning nothing in particular.

Axel was working on slowing his breathing back down, not having done that much with another person present for a while. Grinning, Roxas closed his eyes and just listened.

“Nn…” Axel groaned, the sound low. He was dizzy…

“You okay?” Roxas asked softly, concern bubbling up.

“Yeah, just kind of light-headed…” He grinned, almost sheepish, “Been a while...”

Roxas’s smile widened, and he kissed him gently. Axel returned it with a purr, not feeling like moving just yet.

Feeling his weight pressing on him steadily, Roxas muttered, “Just don’t pass out on me.”

“But you’re _comfortable._ ”

“You would crush me.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

Roxas poked Axel’s firm stomach. “Obviously.”

“Now I’m self-conscious. I should get dressed.”

“Hey.” Roxas sat up. That wasn’t fair.

Axel smirked. “What, too harsh?”

“You're going to make me think you don't love me,” Roxas claimed dramatically.

“You know I love clothes, too. Don't make me choose.”

Stretching out on the bed, Roxas mused, “At least this memory will comfort me when your drag is too convincing.”

“Whenever it gets too upsetting, just recall the exact proportions of my dick,” Axel advised, sagely, getting up to remove the condom and clean himself up.

Smiling to himself, Roxas slowly rolled over and started searching for his clothes.

Axel started to redress as well, but stopped, abruptly serious. “... We can do this again, but if we do... No bleeding track marks. For my peace of mind.”

Uncomfortable again, Roxas mumbled, “Yeah, sorry…”

“And you should also get tested again. Just so I know for sure.” Axel slid a shirt on, glancing at Roxas’s guilty expression. “Chill. If anything, it's nice to know I'm not the only risk you're taking.”

“Sorry, I guess I hoped that would stay between me and Riku,” Roxas said quietly, “... I'll get tested, though.”

“I know how that is. Sort of. I mean, you aren't the only friend I've got who likes to get high.”

“Most people know a few…” It didn’t make him feel any better.

“Especially not surprising given my booming popularity.”

That got Roxas to laugh, slightly muffled as he got back into his sweater. At least the blood had dried, and wouldn’t be sticking to him again.

It was a relief to hear him sound more normal, but something nagged in the back of the Axel’s mind. Casually, he ventured, “So you said Riku does it, too?”

Roxas paused, but couldn’t see the point in denying it, though he hadn’t meant to out Riku specifically. He hadn’t even thought, of course Axel would be worried about how it would affect Sora.

“Yeah. Longer than I have. To be honest, I kind of started because of him.”

Axel let that sink in. “You know... I said I wouldn't get into it, and I won't, but if you ever want to quit... I'd help.”

Roxas shrugged, honestly not knowing what he wanted. He knew he couldn’t depend on it forever, but his life wasn’t stable enough to think in ‘forever’ terms. Anyway, he had to feel good _somehow_.

“It'd be nice to drink again,” he said, noncommittally.

That was far from promising, but Axel didn’t call him on it. “I know a cheap rehab clinic. The effectiveness is kind of...iffy, since the person who I know went there is back on her poison of choice. Then again, not sure she was really trying.”

Roxas nodded, but admitted, “I know I'll be on it as long as I'm with Riku…”

“So...why not leave him?”

“He might not survive.” Roxas smiled sardonically. “Doesn't have much but me and…”  He motioned at his inner arm.

Axel raised an eyebrow. “Really? I thought he was rich and all that shit.”

“He is... well, his parents are.”

“... Huh.”

“And they’re pretty much the worst,” Roxas continued.

“That's depressing…” Axel acknowledged, pensive for a moment.

“Yeah. We'd literally have no reason to interact if I quit.”

“Even for sex?”

Roxas almost laughed, raising his eyebrows at Axel. “I already told you we never fuck sober.”

“Oh, _ri-i-ight_.” He shrugged off his thoughts, opening his bedroom door. “... Drink?”

“Yeah, something boring.”

“Too early to drink, as it is, and I can't before work.” Axel left the door open for Roxas, heading to the kitchen.

Hopping back into his jeans, Roxas raised his voice. “You can't come drunk to work?”

“They frown on that,” Axel called back.

“Huh. Weird.” Roxas zipped his fly and followed him out.


	12. Kairi, Namine, Sora, Roxas, Axel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this fic! We're SO THRILLED to be posting again, and so sorry for the impromptu hiatus we took! As you know if you follow our tumblr, we've been coping with a rough pregnancy (baby's fine, though, no worries! It's just Muffin who's suffering!) and thus had a hard time getting writing done.
> 
> But now we've got some chapters under our belt, Muffin's feeling better, and we're gonna be updating weekly on Mondays again! Hurrah!
> 
> The only reason/time this might change is in mid-July, which is when our baby is due. Muffin's trying to get a backlog of chapters written, though, so you'll still hopefully be getting updates while we're adjusting to life with a newborn!
> 
> All that said... We hope you enjoy this depressing romp of a story as it continues!

The recipe Kairi had so meticulously copied down was being buried under the steady unpacking of ingredients. Unearthing it was a losing battle, the tiny kitchen's counters already bearing the heavy burden of eggs, cream, different types of sugar, and everything else they could possibly need to make the perfect anniversary cake. While not hovering, Namine kept an ear out for any cries of distress or indication that they might need assistance, otherwise banned from the process.

This was, after all, her 'surprise present', and it seemed only right to play along, even if that meant _not_ helping.

If it weren't for the fact that the secret had been very poorly kept, she honestly might not have suspected anything. Sora and Axel's presence was easily explained away, especially since Sora was over more days than not: Kairi and Namine's apartment boasted actual heating and a small TV, which made it a lot more comfortable than the place he shared with Axel.

Since pretense had been dispensed with, though, she also knew to expect Roxas at some point during their low-key celebration – Axel's plus-one.

“So,” Kairi began, carefully sliding the recipe out from under the flour, “I know part of this needs to chill for a couple hours, so we should start with that.”

“Whoa, that's like next-level baking,” Sora commented.

Idly starting on a new sketch in the living room, Namine called out, “Should I do anything?”

“Do anything about what?” Kairi lifted her voice in a sing-song note, smiling.

“Oh, I don't know.”

“You're killing it. She doesn't have a clue,” Axel nodded. Kairi shot him a thumbs-up with both hands and a huge grin.

Earlier than expected, as they'd practically only just gotten back in themselves, there was a knock on the door. Sora had dropped into a seat at the kitchen table, but started to get up again, noting, “Must be Roxas.”

“I'll get it!” Namine, really just wanting to feel useful, set aside her sketchbook and bolted to her feet. Passing the kitchen, she politely held up a hand to block her view of it on her way to the door.

Roxas was poorly bundled up for the brisk weather and rubbed his hands together as he waited. Namine opened the door and smiled.

“Roxas, it's good to see you. What a surprise.”

Not in on the joke, Roxas found it even harder to recall her name with the added confusion. “Hey, uh...”

“Namine,” she supplied, not offended. “Come in, it's much warmer inside than in the hallway.”

“Namine. Sorry, I knew that.” He kicked melted snow off his shoes before he entered.

“Hi, Roxas!” Sora called from the kitchen. More hands-on with his greeting, Axel left the kitchen and descended on Roxas, dipping him dramatically before he even got his shoes off. Roxas gripped him skittishly, more than a little startled to find himself looking up at the ceiling - and Axel’s cheesy smoulder.

“My darling, my dearest,” Axel crooned. “You made it.”

Namine covered her mouth as she laughed. Roxas's head spun, but he was (unwillingly) kind of glad for the attention – he'd only seen Riku earlier that day to shoot up, and found that neither of them had even been in the mood after.

Still, he protested, “ _Why?_ ”

“I'm a romantic, at heart.” Axel brought Roxas back up. “We've barely started on the cake, which Namine doesn't know about, so don't tell her.”

Namine nodded seriously in assent. Roxas blinked, still dizzy.

“What?”

“It's for our anniversary,” Kairi explained, cupping a hand to her mouth and raising her voice from the kitchen. “It's a surprise.”

“I'm completely in the dark about it,” Namine said.

“Oh. Okay,” Roxas nodded in a show of understanding, giving Axel's shirt a prompting tug. Axel didn't need any other excuse to lean in and kiss him thoroughly.

Good response, Roxas thought. He liked that he was learning what buttons to push, with Axel.

Politely, the others averted their eyes, and Namine went to fetch everyone glasses of water under the assumption that Roxas could use one.

“So, baking!” Axel purred as he drew away.

“Which is what we're... _not_ doing, yeah?” He thought he was catching on.

“Exactly,” Kairi chimed in.

Distributing water glasses, Namine said, “I'll be in the living room if you need help not doing anything.”

“Thank you.” Kairi caught her hand as she passed and kissed it, making Naming go faintly pink. She pushed back on Namine's hand lightly before releasing it. “Okay, go.”

Smiling, Namine went to Roxas and offered him a glass. He took it with a grateful nod and hastily emptied half of it before saying, “Thanks.”

“So it says to separate the eggs... Where are the eggs?” Kairi glanced about for the carton.

“Here!” Sora retrieved them from under a bag of icing sugar and behind the lemon juice.

“Aren't the technically already separate? Not being a smart ass, genuine inquiry,” Axel asked, coming into the kitchen.

“It means you separate the whites from the yolks,” Kairi explained.

“That's not hard, is it?” Sora frowned.

“I dunno... I think I could do it.” Kairi opened the carton.

Trying to make conversation, Roxas found a spot that seemed out of the way and asked, “Are you really into baking?”

“Nah,” Sora answered for her with a cheeky grin. “She's just been falling asleep watching the food channel lately.”

Kairi pretended not to hear, a little flushed.

“As far as I know, the last time you made a cake, it was directly from a box mix,” Axel agreed. Listening in with a fond grin, Namine resumed her sketch of Kairi's face.

“Yeah, but you just have to follow the recipe. How hard could it be?” Kairi said.

“Guess we'll find out.” Axel took the slip of paper to consult it, and Kairi fetched a bowl to crack an egg against the side. While he started pre-heating the oven, she attempted to empty the egg white into the bowl, turning the broken open shell this way and that to try to hang onto the slippery yolk.

“Should we be mixing the dry ingredients in advance?” Axel suggested. “I think that makes sense.”

“Yes, please – ah!” Kairi had lost control of the yolk, and it went spilling into the bowl. “ _Rats_.”

Roxas mouthed the word 'Rats?' at Axel. Accustomed to Kairi's lack of vulgarity when cursing, Axel just smirked.

Kairi turned to grab a spoon and started trying to lift the yolk out, leaving Sora with the task of gathering up the dry ingredients. Axel stood back, apparently feeling more like kissing Roxas than being helpful.

Roxas would've argued that was one of the more useful things he could've done. Grinning, Roxas slid his hands along Axel's sides.

“Got it!” Kairi cheered when she managed to pluck the yolk out, unbroken, and dropped it into a second bowl. “Easy.”

“Nice work,” Axel commended between kisses.

Sora stopped measuring out flour to look their way at last. “Real helpful, guys.”

“We're creating atmosphere,” Axel claimed, running a hand down Roxas's side.

Though she couldn't see what was going on, Namine could make an educated guess at what everyone was doing. She stifled her giggles.

“If you're not too busy, can you start cutting up strawberries?” Kairi asked. She'd decided that her method of taking the yolks out after the fact worked just fine, and was intent on removing yolk number two.

“I'm _somewhat_ busy,” Axel argued, but went to start washing the berries anyway. Roxas licked his lips idly.

“You can help me, Roxas,” Sora volunteered him. Without Axel's lips to distract him, he figured he might as well oblige and joined Sora at the kitchen table.

Kairi muttered another G-rated curse when she accidentally punctured the yolk she'd trapped against the side of the bowl. Attuned to her girlfriend's frustration, Namine paused.

“Having trouble...?”

Without looking up, Kairi hastily spooned out the yolk before it could spread too far. “It's okay!” she called, then lowered her voice. “It's probably fine if a little ends up mixed in, right?”

“Sure,” Sora shrugged. “Probably.”

“I'll still eat it.” Roxas was struggling to measure out a tiny spoon of vanilla extract with the ever-present tremor in his hands.

“I consider it inevitable,” Axel said. He started to chop the stems off the strawberries, careful with the knife.

“Good! Okay, eggs separated.” Kairi turned, looking for the recipe again. “Sora, can you take the yolks and mix in a half-cup of sugar?”

Sora pushed the in-progress cake batter towards Roxas and got up to grab the bowl. “Okay!”

They worked together in brief silence, each of them focused on a task and not thinking to fill the quiet. When Axel went to discard the strawberry tops, Roxas glanced up to follow his progress.

“Are you done with those? You should help me.”

“Help you, or 'help'?” Axel came up behind Roxas and took the spoon to start mixing batter, pressed unnecessarily close.

“Are you Ghosting me right now?” Roxas suppressed a smile.

“Gross,” Sora declared, pouring sugar.

“He's just jealous,” Axel dismissed. “You could've had this, Sora, but you missed your chance.”

“Dang it, _I_ was going to say that!” Kairi claimed.

“Psh, you both wish it would've happened,” Sora argued. “That's what a catch I am.”

Axel slid his free arm around Roxas. “Eh. You're... okay, I guess.”

Sora pouted. “Come on, I'm total boyfriend material.”

“I think that was the problem,” Roxas grinned.

“Just don't forget to keep mixing, and I'll tell you all about how I'd totally date you if I liked boys,” Kairi prompted, her consolatory tone somewhat less than sincere.

In a stage-whisper, Axel said, “I think I was the first choice on the boy list.”

“No you weren't,” Namine called. Kairi blushed.

Axel almost frowned, about to ask if Kairi had ever actually considered dating one of her male friends when Roxas mock-whispered back, “She doesn't need to be straight to be into you.”

“So true,” he agreed, absently stirring.

Kairi blew Axel a kiss with a theatrical stare of longing. He winked at her. Sora sighed, grumbling something about being the only single one as he whipped the eggs and sugar together.

Finally satisfied with the way she'd drawn Kairi's eyebrows, Namine flipped to a clean page and settled back against the couch. Just listening to her friends, she was happier today than she could remember being in a long while.

Suddenly, Roxas pulled out from under Axel's arm, a violent surge of craving throbbing through him. Axel backed up immediately to give him space.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” Roxas lied, arms wrapped across his chest and squeezing his biceps.

Kairi frowned, concerned. “If you're still cold, the living room's the warmest spot in the house.”

“Go sit,” Axel said. “I can bring you more water or something.”

“Don't worry about it,” Roxas insisted, though sitting down sounded like a good idea.

“I'm sure Namine would love some company,” Kairi said.

“Yeah, and Axel might actually be helpful,” Sora added.

“What – I'm stirring! That's helping!”

“You're getting like, five stirs a minute,” Sora snorted.

“That's five more stirs than it would be getting without my efforts.”

“I'll stop being a distraction, anyway,” Roxas decided, aching and nauseous. He turned towards the living room.

Axel sighed dramatically. “I'll try to double my productivity.”

Namine had budged up on the couch and gave Roxas a sympathetic look as he sank into the spot near the space heater on the floor, which he gratefully stretched towards.

“If you like, I can grab a blanket for you, too,” Namine offered.

“Uh, no, I'm good,” Roxas said.

“Okay. Did you want to see what's on TV?” she suggested, instead.

“Sure...”

He watched Namine from the corner of his eye as she leaned forward to grab the remote, finding himself curious about her. Namine turned on the television, then arranged her sketchbook in her lap.

The background noise kind of helped take his mind off the cyclical thoughts he was having about heroin, but Roxas was unable to pay it much attention. There was something about Namine and her fragility that rang familiar, and a cloud behind her eyes that made it seem like she had a lot to say that she never would.

“So, you're a legit artist...?” Roxas's tone wasn't quite questioning, sounding uncertain.

“Yes-... Well. Sometimes,” she amended. “Not everything I do sells...”

“But you work at home, yeah?”

“That's right,” she nodded.

“That's a good set up,” Roxas said. “I kinda heard that you're sick a lot...?”

Namine nodded again. “I can't get out very much. That's my own fault, in part...” She averted her eyes briefly, though she was quite certain Roxas would understand.

Likewise, Roxas's suspicions were confirmed. “Can't fault you for that.”

“What about you? Axel said you were looking for work.”

“Yeah... Got out of the hospital not long ago, still paying that back,” Roxas replied.

“That's awful,” Namine looked sympathetic.

“And my own stupid fault.”

She gave a small, understanding nod. “I hope the bill isn't too unmanageable...”

“It's getting better. My boy-... Riku managed to get some of it covered.” Calling Riku his boyfriend felt _especially_ weird with both Axel and Sora in just the other room. Sora, because of the obvious obsession Riku had with him, and Axel...

Well. It shouldn't have been weird because of Axel. All they were doing was fooling around, as friends. They both understood that, so there was nothing to make it strange.

“That's a relief.” Namine wondered what the backlash was for that, knowing from Sora's stories that Riku's parents weren't pleasant people.

Roxas hesitated to ask, but Namine was probably the first drug user he'd met who seemed to have her head on pretty straight at the same time. “... Do you think it's possible for people like us to give it up?”

Slowly, Namine nodded, and hugged her sketchbook to her chest. “When we have help.”

“I don't know if 'help' is enough. Maybe it is for celebrities and rich kids who have everything taken care of for them,” Roxas said, then hesitated over the small pang of guilt he felt. He was basically describing Riku. “... But rehab's not going to fix what made me start doing it in the first place.”

“Why did you?”

For almost a full minute, Roxas didn't answer, and Namine didn't press the question. They listened to idle chatter from the kitchen without _really_ listening.

At last, Roxas responded. “I just wanted something to feel _good_. I'd been looking after myself for so long it was like... every moment that wasn't figuring out where my next meal would come from or what doorway I could sleep in was just this miserable boredom. It sounds stupid to say it like that, but it felt even worse than being cold or hungry... Those felt real, at least, but that felt like, I don't know, like I was going crazy.”

Tentatively, Namine placed a hand on Roxas's shoulder briefly, her smile sad. “... I know what you mean.”

Roxas took a deep breath. “And maybe things are better now. I have an apartment, and Riku I guess, but I only have those things _because_ heroin got me out of that rut. How do I know I won't lose it all again?”

“You don't,” Namine confessed, then paused. “But, I think there's a whole new world of possibilities and resources, if you want them. Axel, for instance...” Conscientious, she lowered her voice. “It's been a long time since he's been so happy. You have him, too. And now, all of us.”

Roxas was kind of flustered to hear that from her. “It is a bit less shitty being sober with him around.”

Namine's smile became a little more genuine. “I know that feeling, too.”

“ _Shit_.” To speak of the devil, Axel cursed loudly enough to draw their attention away from the conversation as a couple of strawberries wound up on the floor.

“Ah! Axel, what did you drop?” Kairi sounded dismayed. Sora, on the other hand, burst out laughing a moment later, like he'd been trying to hold it back but broke.

“It's fine, most of them are fine,” Axel protested.

Roxas had turned to look over the back of the couch, but settled upon realizing the crisis was minor. Namine commented, “They don't always know what they're doing, either, but they try their best.”

“But they don't really _get_ it, do they?” Roxas inquired in an undertone, turning back around.

“... They can't, no,” she amended. Privately, she was glad for that. She ached to think of her friends hitting such a low point.

Abruptly, Roxas found himself eager to get out the thoughts that had been circling in his mind, knowing Axel wouldn't understand and that Riku knew it all already. “It's like they think if they're good enough I won't need it anymore, but it's not like that. What if _I'm_ not good enough without it?”

Namine guiltily thought of her hallucinogens, how hard it was to force herself to work without the inspiring haze of unreality they brought on. “... Even our best might not always feel like enough...”

“Yeah...”

“They'll never really know,” Namine said, “you're right.”

“Riku gets that, at least,” Roxas muttered. “And he's never going to be disappointed by me as I am.”

“... It sounds like you're safe with him, if nothing else.”

“'Enabled', maybe.” It took Roxas a second to realize his mistake, what he'd just confessed. “Shit, don't tell Sora about that.”

Having just been reflecting sympathetically on how Sora would feel if he heard about Riku's new habits, Namine just nodded. “I know.”

Roxas relaxed a little. “Riku'll kill me if he ever finds out.”

“I'm pretty good with secrets, don't worry,” Namine reassured him.

“I'm not, apparently. I wasn't supposed to tell you _or_ Axel...”

It was kind of annoying to think of how panicked Riku would be if Sora were to find out about his drug use. Once upon a time – in the early days of their dynamic – Roxas might've thought it was jealousy rather than irritation, but now it just made him kind of bitter that Riku had any part of his old, perfect life to hold onto, even if it was some guy's misconceptions about him.

Maybe that was harsh. Riku's life had never been perfect, and Roxas knew it. If it had been, Riku would never have started using to begin with.

“It's okay,” Namine said. “It can be hard when you don't have someone else to talk with... When you finally do, things just come out.”

“I guess -”

“What the – _no_ ,” Kairi interjected in distress again. Namine leaned back a little.

“Everything okay in there?” she called, but hardly needed to. The smell of sour smoke had started drifting into the living room.

“The oven's broken again,” Kairi groaned.

“Oh, no...!” Namine's face fell. The process of getting their building's management to come fix things was always a struggle. As Axel tried to air out the smoke, Sora emerged from the kitchen, 'helping' by waving the air towards the window.

“ _Blech_ ,” he pulled a face. A moment later, Kairi followed with a crestfallen expression.

“It's okay...” Namine got up from the couch and took her hands. Kairi held on with a sulky smile.

“Surprise, I guess?”

Namine smiled in return and kissed her cheek. “You're the sweetest girlfriend, more than I could ever ask for.”

Kairi was minorly comforted. “Thanks for playing along, and being patient with me.”

“You could still eat the strawberries?” Axel suggested.

“The cake kinda baked a little before the oven died?” Sora inspected the oven and shouted out to them. “We could probably eat around the edges!”

Namine giggled softly. “It was a little fun, actually. Should we go see what we can salvage?”

Smile softening, Kairi nodded. “Let's go.”

Axel, in what he decided was consideration, left the kitchen to drop onto the couch beside Roxas and avoid overcrowding the smoky room.

Roxas turned his head, letting Axel drape his arm behind his shoulders. “Somehow, this is your fault.”

“I've never done anything wrong in my life,” he claimed, as though offended.

Sora poked the semi-solid cake with a fork, and Kairi passed him to open the fridge. “Guess there's no point chilling this, anymore,” she frowned, and removed the cooling mousse from inside.

“Shall we serve what we can?” Namine suggested.

“I think I have a better idea.”

Axel listened with half an ear. “So do we know how to party, or what?”

“This might be literally the best party I've ever been to,” Roxas replied. Axel considered his tone and grinned when he determined that Roxas was actually being genuine.

“Good.” He stole a short kiss.

Gathering everyone, Kairi crowded her guests around the tiny kitchen table with the cake, the mousse, and a bowl of strawberries in the center, handing out mismatched forks and spoons. Taking a fork, Namine kissed Kairi's cheek before starting in on the strawberries and mousse with a laugh.

Sora managed to get a decent bite of cake onto his fork. “It's pretty good, actually! I like it.”

“You don't have to be that nice to it,” Kairi said, amused, then shot an apologetic look to Namine. “Oh... You and Axel probably shouldn't have the cake.”

Not cluing in as to why those two were singled out, Roxas spoke up. “I'll try it.”

“This is nice, on its own,” Namine smiled to show she didn't mind and speared another strawberry.

“I'll just watch you with bitter envy,” Axel said.

Picking out a bite of cake as well, Roxas dunked it in the mousse and turned to look directly at Axel as he ate the whole thing. Axel flipped him off.

“Still tastes good,” Kairi giggled. Her mouth full, Namine covered it to stifle a laugh.

They continued to pick at the desserts, while Kairi gazed at Namine as though in quiet awe of her. Catching her eye, Namine gave her a warm, affectionate smile, and laughed when Kairi held a mousse-covered berry to her lips. She accepted it, and had only just swallowed when Kairi followed it with a kiss.

For the sake of company, she kept it short, though Axel's wolf-whistle probably meant no one really cared. Still, Kairi drew back and murmured, “Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary... One of many more to come,” Namine promised.

Kairi beamed, then started to giggle upon becoming aware of the cream on both their lips. With a broad smile to match, Namine cleaned them up.

 

* * *

 

All in all, it had been one of the best days in Roxas's recent memory. It wasn't as though anything particularly mind-blowing had happened, but the relaxed and friendly atmosphere of Kairi and Namine's apartment (and Axel's frequent attentions) had raised his spirits from their usual place in the dirt. Roxas didn't anticipate how abruptly that might change, until he approached the door to his apartment.

It was a cheap place, accessible from the outside. A cheap place meant a cheap lock.

Roxas did a wary double-take, heart sinking at the sight of the scratches around it. The doorknob itself looked askew, like someone had jimmied the door open once they'd coaxed the lock just loose enough. Roxas tested it, and found the door easily pushed open.

It creaked, and he froze.

Maybe... maybe Hayner had just had difficulty with the lock. Maybe he was home and Roxas was overthinking it.

Maybe there was a stranger still in there, and maybe they were dangerous.

Roxas listened. He didn't hear any signs of life from where he stood in the doorway, and the paper-thin walls of his place should have let any noise eke his way. Carefully, he stepped inside, leaving the door partway open behind him.

Please, he begged a higher power he didn't necessarily believe in. If someone broke in, please just let them have gotten spooked and left. He didn't have much to lose, but what he _did_ have, he couldn't live without. He just had to ensure that none of it was missing.

But it was. All of it was.

The thief had taken what very little money there was from Roxas's room, taken their clunky electronics, even some of their food out of the fridge.

But the heroin. They'd found the stash in the kitchen, and they'd taken everything.

White-hot rage warred with despair, and Roxas had the mad urge to seize the kitchen chair and swing it. He didn't care what it would connect with, what would break – he _wanted_ to break it, break everything, tear everything around himself down because his world was falling apart just like _that_.

One greedy asshole had ruined _everything_. He'd been slowly finding a track to get on, he'd had _just enough_ of what he really needed, he'd been almost _happy_ ten minutes ago.

And now that was gone.

The stress made his hands shake, the cold need for a reprieve singing throughout his body as he collapsed to the floor and beat his fists against it. He needed heroin if he was going to think clearly, if he was going to sort out what to do next.

Riku. Normally, he would call Riku. He'd help, he'd replenish their stock with however much he could buy on short notice, and they'd get high together and they'd work it out.

But the landline was gone. Ripped off the cord and taken away with everything else. So, he couldn't call Riku. He couldn't do much of anything at all.

Everything he'd scrounged for himself had been stolen, regardless of how unfair it was, and he had no idea what to do now.


	13. Riku, Xigbar, Kairi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates over two days?! Wild. It's partly to get us back on our Monday-updating track, but also because you were all super patient with us and we're grateful! So, we hope you enjoy! If... 'enjoy' is the right word.

Following the robbery of Roxas's apartment, the situation had become dire, and Riku's last resort was starting to look like the _only_ one. Their stash was at a critical low, not even enough left to give one of them a proper high, and Roxas's thievery wasn't bringing in anything that even resembled a proper cash flow.

For all the money Riku's parents had to spare, they had it counted down to the penny. They were determined not to let their son see a cent, allowing him to live under their roof and partake in meals but nothing more. Knowing how bad off Roxas was, Riku didn't feel like he had much right to complain, which also meant it was down to him to bring in the extra cash they needed.

This was the only job he knew he was qualified for, the only one that wouldn't ask questions.

Riku felt uncomfortable in his skin as he approached what appeared to be a high-end motel, second-guessing whether or not he had the right place. He'd dressed carefully and tried to give the impression of someone who knew what they wanted but didn't care whether or not they got it, but with every passing moment his aloof persona was waning. He entered the lobby after knocking twice, appraising it cautiously.

The door to Xigbar's office was already open, so they heard the knocking just fine. Xigbar rose from his seat grudgingly, giving Luxord a light kick under the desk. “Dang it, Lux, can't you even get off your lazy ass to do doorman duty?”

Luxord just made an absentminded noise. He was in the middle of an online poker game and was in the middle of a winning streak, thus not to be disturbed in his books. Xigbar rolled his visible eye and pushed open his door a little more, leaning against it as he appraised Riku.

“Haven't seen you before,” he noted.

Riku cleared his throat slightly. “... No, you wouldn't have. This is... what I think it is, right? You're Xigbar?”

He grinned. “Got that right, kid. You looking for some entertainment? 'Cause I gotta tell you, you have to be pretty damn special to come in without an appointment.”

One, two, exhale. Riku steeled himself. “Actually, I'm looking for cash.”

Xigbar raised an eyebrow. “ _Really_...”

It was easier to keep himself grounded now that they both knew why Riku was here. From an outsider's perspective, Riku knew he was an attractive young man, which could only benefit his potential employer... So now, it was just a matter of negotiation. “I hear this pays well, and I might even make some connections through this 'line of work'. So?”

“Don't get a lot of people walking in off the street asking to work for me.” Xigbar looked him up and down with a bit of a leer. “Especially not little rich boys.”

There was nothing 'little' about Riku. Irritated, he wiped his voice of any tone. “Maybe I'm rebelling. I'm probably a spoiled kid who doesn't know how good he has it, back home with mommy and daddy and his various maids. Are you going to hire me?”

Xigbar paused, then smirked. “Alright, come with,” he said, and gestured Riku inside his office.

Riku followed. Luxord was still absorbed in his game, focus unbroken.

“Shut the door.”

Unsure whether or not that was directed at him, Riku did so anyway. Luxord's attention was caught at last, and he looked up to give Riku the same hungry once-over Xigbar had given him.

“So,” Xigbar started casually, “you a virgin, kid?”

Riku was briefly tempted to answer 'yes'. “I'm rich and I'm attractive, what do _you_ think?”

“Get cocky with someone else, not me. Alright, so who with? Girls? Boys?”

“... Both,” Riku replied.

Tempted to ask for a run with him, Luxord sighed and returned to his game, knowing he'd be refused if Riku turned out to be clean.

Xigbar's smirk broadened. “ _Good_. You're gonna have both, but 'bout eighty-twenty dudes to chicks. And most of 'em are gonna want to ride your ass. Got it?”

Riku nodded stiffly. He'd guessed that much, and he didn't like it, but he wasn't in a position to complain.

“Not a virgin, definitely getting you tested,” Xigbar mused. “Can you pretend to be?”

“I-... probably... Yeah.” Riku briefly panicked inwardly, but calmed himself down. He didn't really think Xigbar would care if he found drugs in Riku's system.

“Y'get some picky types.” Xigbar thought for a moment, looking him over again. Riku hated how often he was doing that, but told himself to get used to it. “Already pretty much got your niche filled, but Kadaj and Yazoo are pretty popular. Could give 'em a break... How old are you? Your real age.”

“Twenty-two.”

Xigbar nodded. “Gonna call it nineteen. And why, rich boy, do ya' want to work for me? No bullshit this time.”

Riku inhaled slowly. “... I need the money for me and my boyfriend, that's all that matters.”

It was pleasing to hear Riku had a boyfriend; Xigbar was still having enough trouble with Hayner's willingness to sleep with men. “Hope your boyfriend knows you're here, not that it matters to me. But that doesn't answer my question.”

“He does.” Riku's eyes narrowed. “We-... I need the money for drugs. That good enough?”

“ _Ahh_ , the truth comes out. Well, if you work for me, you're gonna have to get used to me being the middle man for your...?”

Riku buried his surprise. “... Heroin.”

Xigbar frowned, immediately thinking of shared needles. “Alright, guess I'll try you out.”

Secretly, Riku had been kind of hoping Xigbar would turn him away. “So how does this work?” he asked, instead of showing that.

“We give you a room, protection on the job, and a work phone,” Xigbar said. “You're available certain days, and you come in when you have appointments. All you make comes to me, including tips, and I give you a salary at the end of the week.”

“... And the drugs? You said you'd be my middle man.”

“We have a set up with a dealer in the city. He comes in every couple weeks and we bulk order from him. I dock the money from your profits, so there's no screwing with me,” Xigbar warned him.

“I need enough for two,” Riku said. “And a lot, for us both. You'll give me that?”

“As if. I get yours,” Xigbar retorted. “You can pay for your boytoy's on your own time.”

A desperate idea flashed through Riku's head. “What if you only pay me in heroin?”

Xigbar raised his eyebrows. “No can do.”

Riku almost swore. He didn't want to deal with a pissed-off Roxas if they couldn't afford his, but... this was still his best chance to bring in a steady supply. “Fine. Deal.”

Xigbar grinned. “Have to get your results back 'fore I can really take you on, but...” he pushed his seat back from the desk. “I'll give ya' a field test.”

Reflexively, Riku stepped back, not expecting that. “What?”

“This wouldn't be the time to get choosy about who's fucking you, love,” Luxord commented idly.

Xigbar unzipped his fly. “Better get used to it.”

“But -” Riku started and stopped, glancing at Luxord.

“Can't worry about an audience, either,” Luxord sneered.

“If you're not gonna, I've got things to do,” Xigbar said.

“... Just wasn't expecting there to be an... audition,” Riku muttered. He avoided looking right at Xigbar as he began to remove his jacket.

“Gotta be ready any time. And look like you want to, for fuck's sake.”

“Maybe that could be my niche,” Riku drawled, sounding a lot more confident than he felt. “Starting off reluctant, then just unable to help getting into it.”

“Already got one of those, smartass.” Xigbar motioned him over. Riku approached, licking his lips and passing it off as lust instead of nerves.

“Fine, I'll do it your way. Whatever you want.” Riku buried the sting of self-loathing (because this was _real_ , this was happening, it hadn't felt that way until just now and his brain was screaming at him to wake up, escape this reality) and discarded his shirt, as well.

“That's the idea.” Xigbar directed him onto his knees. Riku suppressed more irritation, hands going to the top of Xigbar's pants to ease his cock out. He was half-hard already, and Xigbar settled back in his chair to watch Riku run his hands over the length.

Already, he knew he couldn't just pretend he was doing this with Roxas. Everything they did was hazy and blurred, more of a sense than a proper memory. Riku only stroked Xigbar until he'd accidentally conjured an image of Sora, and then he moved in close to move his open mouth against the head.

Xigbar groaned low, keeping his hands off and just letting Riku work. It was already a good sign that he hadn't taken too long to get to it.

It was easier as long as Riku let his mind wander. He opened his mouth wider and started to take him in, and Xigbar was pleased on several counts. He didn't seem to be hesitating anymore, there was no trace of teeth, and he knew better than to just let his tongue lie there inactive.

“That's fuckin' good...”

A tad envious, Luxord watched closely and sighed to himself.

Riku didn't directly acknowledge the praise, hardly even listening. He just swallowed Xigbar as deep as possible and tried to swallow more every time he moved his head, envisioning Sora on the stripper stage moving to the rhythm Riku had set. He was thinking less and less about what was actually happening, a sense of disconnect coming over him.

Impressed, Xigbar groaned again and rested one hand in Riku's hair. “You are an experienced little cocksucker, aren't you?”

Tuning him out, Riku sucked a bit harder and shifted forward on his knees.

Xigbar wasn't going to let this take long. He gave an encouraging little tug to his hair as he got closer to the edge, and Riku nearly growled in response. It likely didn't dissuade Xigbar from doing it, though, as the sound was muffled and became vibration against his cock.

“Fuck, coming...” He only bothered giving Riku warning because it was the first time. His grip wasn't so tight that Riku couldn't move and he pulled off him reflexively, though not in time to avoid swallowing a little, much to his distaste. Xigbar exhaled heavily with his peak and held Riku close enough to spill over his face.

Miraculously, Riku managed not to scowl, and kept still. He entertained the briefest violent urges, but when they passed, he only hated himself instead of hating Xigbar.

Satisfied, Xigbar tucked himself back in and zipped up his pants. “Heads up, you better swallow from now on.”

“Fine,” Riku muttered, wiping off his face.

“But that was better than I expected. You _almost_ looked like you were into it,” Xigbar declared. “Get him a towel or somethin', Lux.”

Luxord stood. “Are you sure? I think he looks lovely like that.”

Riku just barely reigned in the urge to glare at him.

“Just go, ya’ cheating bastard,” Xigbar dismissed. Luxord snickered and went to retrieve something for Riku, and Xigbar grabbed a card to scribble quickly on the back of it. “Go to this clinic on Saturday. They'll test you for everything, just give 'em my name.”

Riku's head felt heavy. He took the card. “Good. Okay, yeah...”

Luxord returned and threw Riku a clean towel. He immediately wiped his face.

“Oh yeah, did you say your name?” Xigbar asked.

“No. It's Riku.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “See ya', Riku.”

Riku redressed and shoved the soiled towel at Luxord on his way out. They heard the front door shut loudly behind him, the office door left open in Riku's wake.

“I'm not a fan of his attitude,” Luxord commented, tossing aside the towel with distaste.

“Yeah, but he knows authority,” Xigbar said.

“What'll you do if he isn't HIV-free?” Luxord sat down again to return to his poker game.

“Then Kadaj and Yazoo work overtime.”

“Don't suppose you'd let me break that news to him?” Luxord leered.

Xigbar snorted. “Knock yourself out.”

“Just so hard to get used to this much free time, on my hands. Strange, considering what a cesspool of a city this is...”

“Like you even go looking,” Xigbar said.

“They should come to me,” Luxord replied breezily.

“Take out a personal ad, then.”

“I don't want a date, just a shag,” Luxord rolled his eyes.

“Then put that in.”

“I also prefer to be paid,” Luxord said. “I _am_ a professional.”

“Can't advertise I got sick whores,” Xigbar shrugged.

Luxord sighed dramatically. “I could cater exclusively to the similarly afflicted. They're bound to be more pent-up than anyone.”

Xigbar grinned. “I'll let you know when one comes callin'.”

“I hope so,” Luxord muttered.

“If he's clean, I'll get Kadaj to train him,” Xigbar smirked more. “He won't like it.”

“Good. He needs that attitude _adjusted_.”

Xigbar laughed.

 

* * *

 

Saturday came and went, and the test results came back as Riku had known they would. He was vigilant about the needles he used and only ever slept with Roxas, so he hadn't expected there would be any complications in the form of disease.

He was shown to his room and given some privacy to change out of his clothes and into something more 'work appropriate'. Riku was pretty sure the only reason he could stomach this was due to the lingering buzz of alcohol. In a dark blue robe, Riku stared into the mirror and ran a hand through his hair.

He didn't look like a hooker, but here he was. That's what he was, now.

Riku scowled at himself. Maybe he _couldn't_ stomach this, after all.

There was a knock on his half-open door, and Riku tensed, thinking he might have missed the notification of his first client. Seeing there was no missed call, though, he relaxed and went to answer the door.

To his surprise, he recognized the person outside of it. Hayner looked irritated, having wanted to spend his free time working out instead of checking on the 'new recruit' while Kadaj was busy.

“Uh, hi,” Hayner greeted, not yet placing Riku's face.

“... Did Roxas send you?” Riku asked, figuring out who Hayner was quicker.

“Oh, right – you're Riku,” Hayner realized. “No, Roxas didn't send me.”

Riku's eyes narrowed slightly, looking at the green robe he was wearing. “Then... you work here?”

Hayner sighed irritably. “I don't have a choice.”

“I won't ask.” Riku shifted uncomfortably.

“Did they catch you, too?”

“I don't really want to talk about it. I'm here, either way,” Riku muttered.

Hayner shrugged. He'd never really formed much of an opinion about Riku, but he was sympathetic all the same. “Yeah. Nothing we can do about it.”

“So why are you checking on me, and not Kadaj?”

“Kadaj is busy with a client, probably will be for a while.” Hayner shifted, making conversation. “You been training with him?”

Riku grimaced. “Yeah... Not complaining if he's too 'busy' for me, though, he's...”

“He's got a massive ego and he's too happy to be here,” Hayner supplied. “I trained with him too, sometimes.”

Riku scowled. “Sorry to hear it. I didn't even know you were _here_...”

“Yeah, well, it's not something I intend to spread around.”

“I won't mention it if you don't,” Riku sighed.

“I don't know anyone who would _care_ ,” Hayner said gloomily.

“Does Roxas know?”

“No, but I still doubt he'd care.”

Kairi had just finished seeing a client out and couldn't help a spike of curiosity upon coming back upstairs to see Hayner in someone's doorway. She hadn't heard of a new worker, but didn't know Hayner to spend much time socializing.

“Hi, Hayner,” she piped up, wondering if she was interrupting.

“He wouldn't judge -” Riku stopped, hearing Kairi approach.

He'd forgotten about her.

“Hey,” Hayner said. Kairi stopped, now close enough to see who he was talking to, and both hands flew up to cover her mouth.

“Kairi-...” Riku started, but didn't know what he could say.

Kairi hesitated. “H-he's not your client, is he?”

Hayner scowled. “ _No_.”

“I'd never hire a – it's complicated,” Riku said, eyes a bit narrow as they dropped to the floor. “Please don't tell Sora.”

“... Oh. Oh, no. I wouldn't. But why?”

“It's not something I want to talk about.” Riku avoided looking at her.

Kairi hesitated. “... Okay. But maybe _you_ should tell Sora.”

Hayner didn't even _want_ to know who Sora was. He backed up, starting to walk away to leave them to their conversation. “Well, you're checked on.”

Riku nodded at Hayner, but shook his head at Kairi. “... Not a chance.”

“You're friends again, aren't you?” Kairi asked. “He'd want to know.”

“He'd worry,” Riku countered, and stepped back into his room like he could escape the conversation.

“I know, he worries about me, too,” Kairi said. “But he wouldn't judge you.”

“That's not what I'm worried about... I don't want him asking questions, alright? This is my issue.”

Riku looked so uncomfortable that Kairi couldn't help but take pity on him. She sighed. “Okay. I won't tell him.”

“Thanks... Really.” Riku relaxed a bit.

Her expression was still one of concern. “No problem.”

“So... Are you alright, here?” All Riku knew about Kairi was that she was close to Sora, but that was enough for him to care about her welfare.

“Yeah, I'm fine. There are some really nice people here who help me a lot... Without them and Sora, I probably couldn't get through it,” she confessed. She left out Axel and Namine, doubting Riku would care to know about their involvement in her life.

“You're lucky,” Riku said without thinking, then shook his head. “Or... guess it's weird to call you that, considering where we are. Just, glad it's not too bad for you.”

“You... should try to find a friend here,” Kairi suggested tentatively. “It really helps.”

“You're probably right about that,” Riku said, trying to feel detached. “Think I'd take any friend, so long as it isn't Kadaj.”

Kairi smiled slightly. “I’m always here. I’m kind of like Sora, just smarter and cuter.”

Riku managed a laugh, the sound pleasing Kairi immensely. “You're right, I'd probably like having a friend like that around.”

“We’re allowed to hang out and talk between clients. We all try to support each other here.”

“... Thanks.”

“Not at all,” Kairi replied, looking a bit sad. She turned towards her room, but lingered long enough to add, “Good luck.”

Riku nodded, and went back to sit on the bed. He cast an uneasy look at his work phone.

He didn't get his first client that day.


	14. Seifer, Hayner

Seifer hadn't been all that frequent of a customer at Xigbar's, before. He had needs, sure, but he also had a favorite, and if he couldn't be guaranteed some time with Rinoa, it didn't seem worth the hassle.

Not only had his choices doubled with the acquisition of Hayner, but they'd developed a pretty good system. Seifer wanted to fuck, Hayner wanted to fight – there was a particular mood they both often found themselves in, and no better outlet.

Not that Hayner had a say in who his customers were (and he'd have jumped out a window before claiming to prefer _Seifer_ over anyone) but still, it meant that his pent-up aggression was touched with anticipation from the moment Xigbar told him Seifer would be stopping by later.

In a way, he couldn’t have timed it better. Hayner’s temper could barely be kept from boiling to the surface since the break-in, and the addition of Riku was a tense reminder of his outside life every day they were under the same roof. At least Riku’s looks and skill meant he was already outpacing Hayner in popularity with male customers. He felt bad for the guy… but not enough to lose sleep over passing some of those clients on to him.

Knowing Seifer would be coming by today, Hayner had spent his morning working out in preparation, getting his adrenaline pumping. Seifer didn't announce his arrival, and when he threw open the door, it almost collided with Hayner.

So they were off to a good start.

“Fuck, today was boring,” Seifer groused, immediately throwing off his jacket. Hayner crossed his arms, having just managed to back away from the door in time.

“Am I your pick-me-up, then?”

“Obviously,” Seifer smirked, glancing him over as he shut the door.

Hayner's fingers flexed. He knew what was coming, but couldn't make the first move. “Staring costs the same, you know.”

“Shut up and brace yourself. I get charged extra if I bruise you.”

He was prepared when Seifer stepped forward and shoved him. Hayner pivoted and turned to aim a punch into his gut, the impact sending satisfying shocks up his arms. Seifer grabbed at him to twist his arm, pushing Hayner's opposite shoulder downwards. They created a symphony of hisses, Hayner struggling in his hold and throwing his head back, the blow connecting with Seifer's chin.

A foot slammed into the back of Hayner's leg, making him buckle down to one knee. Seifer dropped all his weight against him, taking any hits Hayner managed to land through his struggling in order to wrestle him down, and no. There was no way Hayner was letting him have the upper hand so fucking easily.

He risked doing serious damage to his arm, but Hayner had no other chance of escaping. He rolled them, arm twisting violently until Seifer jerked his grip away to avoid breaking it.

“Idiot -”

A smug twitch of Hayner's lips; he'd known Seifer wouldn't cause that much damage. He grabbed Seifer's arm and swung his leg into the back of his knee, getting him on the ground this time. Seifer brought Hayner down with him, but that was all he could do – Hayner had climbed on top of him, he had forced the advantage his way.

For the moment, at least. Seifer had a hand free.

With a growl, he fought to get a grip on Hayner's throat. The choked breath and glare were instantly arousing, and Seifer smirked breathlessly as he squeezed.

They grappled briefly in that position while Seifer tried to force Hayner over. With the pressure on his throat, it was hard to keep Seifer down; Hayner punched him repeatedly but wound up pushed onto his back.

At last, Seifer let him breathe. He'd mounted Hayner's hips and pinned him bodily, and took a moment to catch his breath with a pleased sneer. The rush of oxygen made Hayner cough.

He'd regret that. Hayner would _make_ him regret that.

Glaring darkly, Hayner bucked and thrashed to try throwing him off, but didn't manage to. Seifer dropped all his weight again, winding him, and stole Hayner's breath again by predictable means. Hayner grunted into the aggressive kiss and responded with equal force, not surprised to feel Seifer nearly hard.

Hayner wrested a hand free, but used it to grab Seifer tightly around the back of his neck. “Nnh-...”

Seifer was pulling at his clothing, growling pleasurably when Hayner bit him, palming between his legs. The sound Hayner made was like he was being choked again, and it wasn't clear if it was just from the exertion of struggling or something else. Trying to make him give up, Seifer groped him harder, rougher, and was rewarded for the underhanded play.

“Fuck-...” Hayner didn't catch his moan in time and flushed.

“ _That_ is fucking beautiful...” Seifer squeezed again and went about pulling Hayner's clothes away. “Hard to believe someone so annoying can sound so sexy...”

Hayner's glare intensified. It was irritating that his current form of retaliation was something Seifer _wanted_ ; he had instructions to keep looking at him, his eyes apparently part of his appeal.

Grinning, Seifer nipped his lower lip, then bit down properly on his throat with a muffled groan. Hayner bucked again, wanting to punch him, wanting him to keep going.

“Ngh -”

Seifer pulled off him and warned, “Want the clothes gone, and I fucking swear, if you play dirty while I'm at it, I'll beat you within an inch of your life.”

Hayner rolled his eyes and sat up to let Seifer strip him. His clothes were thrown aside and Seifer took advantage of the bare expanse of skin, touching and scraping the sensitive spots on his chest with his teeth. He'd let himself get too worked up while they were fighting not to react, but nonetheless, Hayner snarled and scowled.

Shifting lower, Seifer licked his lips slowly. “If you'd keep still, I might get your dick wet. 'Course, you'd have to give up struggling...”

Hayner grit his teeth. 'Winning' was more important than anything else, right then. “Fuck off-... ngh!”

“Figured,” Seifer laughed, starting to stroke him. For all of Hayner's posturing, he really couldn't thrash around or fight much when he did that. His breath caught, unwillingly responsive, and Seifer snickered again. “I think you get off on losing...”

“I think you're dreaming,” Hayner retorted, teeth still clenched.

Seifer sat up, leaning over him. “In my dreams, you beg more,” he said, and caught his lips again aggressively.

Almost like he planned to resume wrestling him, Hayner reached up around Seifer, only for his hand to get a good grip on his hair. He kissed back hard and competitively, not caring where his teeth caught, and Seifer wasn't complaining – he fought him right back, shifting to grind against him. Hayner's position became more withdrawn and defensive, as much as it could while his legs were forced to spread around Seifer.

For his earlier talk about playing dirty, Seifer didn't intend on upholding any sense of honor. He broke apart from the kiss just to strike out at him, his other hand kept firmly against Hayner's hips to keep his legs apart.

There was no way to block or dodge from his position. Hayner grunted in pain and twisted, shoving an elbow into Seifer's throat. It made Seifer cough, and he seized the offending arm to press it forcefully against the carpet. Then, as much as he dared to, Seifer moved back to mouth hotly down Hayner's chest.

Head spinning, Hayner arched into his mouth almost helplessly and swore. It was bizarre, how much more heat there was between him and Seifer than any other client. He was becoming reluctantly used to this lifestyle, but couldn't seem to get used to _this_ any time.

Of course, he didn't get to wail on any other client, either. There was still a power imbalance between them, but it was harder to feel its existence when he got to punch Seifer across the face. If he'd been capable of thinking, he might've made that connection.

Seifer went lower when there was no resistance from him, biting light bruises into his skin, high off his responses. Hayner's cock stood hard and hot against his hips, body knowing where he needed attention the most.

Infuriating as ever, though, Seifer stopped short of giving him that. “Ready to be good?” he taunted, smug.

Hayner growled. “You wouldn't be here if you wanted me 'good'.”

“Don't make assumptions, idiot.”

They both knew it to be true, though.

Seifer descended just low enough to tease with his mouth, lips traveling over the tip, and then he sat up. Hayner swore again loudly and fought the temptation to kick him.

“What're you gonna do about it?” Seifer smirked.

Hayner's scowl deepended and he reached up into Seifer's hair again, like he was about to push him back down. He couldn't force him, though – Seifer was the client, it was up to him what they did. Seifer almost laughed at him, leaning in to bite his throat again instead.

He wasn't supposed to bruise him, but Seifer could never seem to resist. Hayner practically felt the skin darken under his teeth and made an irritated sound that may have been a little too breathy to be genuine. He hooked a leg around Seifer and rocked his hips forcefully.

Groaning, Seifer sucked viciously at the marked skin and then released him. “Let me take my fucking clothes off...”

A bit crazed with impatience now, Hayner sat up and practically ripped at Seifer's shirt. It probably would have pissed Seifer off if they weren't both buzzing from overheated nerves, and instead he just laughed, throwing his clothing aside.

It took no time at all to strip him, and way too long. Hayner was only too eager to start grappling him again, hoping to force him into _some_ sort of action. Domineering, Seifer pressed his entire body to Hayner's and got a rough grip on his ass, letting him grind now that there was no barrier of cloth.

“Ngh-!”

He needed to try ascertaining some dominance in _something_. Hayner yanked him into a kiss, distracting Seifer from his half-formed idea of getting them off the floor and to the bed. He managed to bite Hayner's lip, but his mouth was being thoroughly mapped by Hayner's assertive tongue.

That wouldn't do.

One hand slid up Hayner's leg to brush his cock again. Choking on the jolt of pleasure, the hand around Seifer's back got a harsher grip, digging nails into the scarred skin.

Seifer growled against the kiss and reluctantly broke it. “If we don't move _now_ , I'm gonna fuck you across the carpet and give you the worst rug burn of your life, so be _good_ for a second.”

That prospect sounded very unappealing. “Fine, we'll move,” Hayner exhaled, pointedly not acknowledging anything about being 'good'. Seifer hauled him up, undoubtedly for the sheer joy of manhandling him rather than to be helpful, and dragged him towards the bed.

“Think some time I'll rent you for a full day and tie you down to the bed,” Seifer mused, pushing Hayner underneath him. He swung a leg over him, bucking down against his hips.

Sneering, Hayner briefly struggled against being pinned. “Can you afford that on a thug's salary?”

“I can afford _you_ , yeah.”

Anger flared and Hayner sat up sharply, taking a swing at his face. Seifer weaved to avoid it and retaliated. They grappled like that for a minute, Hayner catching Seifer's wrists and wrestling him away until Seifer invariably took advantage of his position.

“Ngh, damn...”

“Nn -” Hayner closed his eyes briefly. Seifer had ground his hips against his, undeterred, and pulled his hands out of Hayner's grip. Hips moving faster, harder, Seifer grabbed his hair and _pulled_.

Right – fuck, he'd closed his eyes -

“Ah-...” Hayner openly winced and cursed himself for it, just barely opening his eyes again. His erection hadn't flagged in the slightest even at the bolt of pain, though, and he grinded up against Seifer as though retaliating in some way.

That was better. Seifer let go to seek out lube, mouthing over his throat. “Don't even need to prep you, do I? You're used enough,” he taunted, and bit down. Hayner thrashed ineffectually, growling.

“ _Fuck_ you. Doesn't keep you from coming back.”

“Like I give a fuck.”

Seifer wrestled him down flat before freeing his other hand to slick himself. Eyes still narrow, Hayner resisted the urge to hit him now, only because he knew he could be seriously injured if he did any damage. He breathed hard, getting himself under control.

Despite what he'd said, Seifer still coated his fingers in the slick gel and thrust two inside him. With a sound between a snarl and a moan, Hayner pulled Seifer down by his hair to kiss him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing him spread his legs to accommodate him.

The distraction worked. Curling his fingers, Seifer let himself get caught up trying to completely claim his mouth. Hayner bit him, faltering.

“Mm-...”

Seifer was fucking him roughly on his fingers, and however unwillingly, Hayner was reacting well to it. He'd almost started to rock with the motions before Seifer was pulling them out, and he turned his head to break the kiss, panting.

He didn't succeed in breathing for very long. Seifer took immediately advantage of the fact that he was now slick inside, pressing into him with a hiss. Bracing himself, Hayner leaned back into the bed and let Seifer work him open.

“Mn... ngh...”

He rocked forward into Hayner, kissing and biting hotly up his jaw. Keeping his eyes open was a struggle, but Hayner managed -  small, sharp sounds punctuating bites.

Seifer was drawing things out, the bastard. Hayner bore through the process as his body relaxed around the too-slow invasion, inhaling deeply, hating how heated this felt.

“God damn-...”

“Mn,” Seifer seemed to agree, groan turning into a content hiss as he moved into him hard and slow. He kept to that rhythm just to torment him, and it worked wonderfully.

“Fucking hell... just do it,” Hayner growled.

Seifer almost laughed at him, the sound lust-rough. “Client sets the pace,” he reminded him, and drove forward harder.

Hayner's breath caught hard in his throat. “You fucking dick...”

“You want it faster, _earn_ it.” Seifer kissed him hard, but briefly. He wanted to keep back enough to see his eyes, the fire behind them. Hayner kept his gaze as level with Seifer's as he could, legs tightening around his hips and pulling him in.

Seifer couldn't hold in his groan as well as he meant to. That was worth something of a reward, he grudgingly guessed, and he picked up his pace just a little.

Managing a slight smirk, Hayner leaned back into the bed to angle his hips into a more inviting position, knowing these techniques woefully well by now. Seifer could hardly help himself, pounding into him faster, more smoothly.

“Shut up,” Seifer shot at him, breaths coming in harsh bursts. It only made Hayner feel more smug, and there was something infuriatingly sexy about that look on his face; Seifer was losing control over himself.

Hayner's moans came more constantly, hitching, not very loud but vocal. He never exaggerated his sounds, as Seifer had demanded before. He rolled his hips with the motion of Seifer's but he wasn't getting enough. He needed to be touched, and he'd be damned if he was going to ask for it. His eyes shut in concentration, parting his legs a little wider as Seifer determinedly drove into him deeper.

“Eyes,” Seifer commanded, and tugged his hair sharply.

The jolt came from between Hayner's legs as well as from the pull, and Hayner hoped it was just one of pain and not something else. He struggled to open stinging eyes and gave Seifer as dark of a look as he could muster.

Purring, Seifer let go of his hair and wrapped his hand around Hayner's cock. “Yeah, fuck, that's good...”

He bit back a comment in case being a smartass now might make Seifer stop. Finally feeling like he could get off to this, Hayner groaned loud.

Seifer was relentless, now that he'd found his stride. His movements never quite matched up, and Hayner held onto his waist, anchoring the movements of his hips into his hand or back onto his cock.

“Ngh-... fuck-...!”

“Hell _yes_ , almost...” Seifer groaned roughly, and he was nearly there, bending over him, rocking Hayner right back until he'd almost hit the wall. The ache hardly bothered Hayner anymore, not when he was so wrapped up in the encroaching edge.

“Fuck, Sei-...”

The name almost slipped out. Neither of them paid attention.

Seifer bit down hard enough to break skin and that was all he could take. He spilled into Hayner, still stroking him, and the bite sent electric jolts up Hayner's spine.

He was _so_ close, he just needed a bit more – but Seifer was pulling out of him, taking his hand away.

“Don't you fucking -” Hayner started to protest.

“Shut up.” Seifer kissed him hard, buzzing with satisfaction, then got up off the bed. He dragged Hayner bodily forward and got between his legs.

The last thing Hayner expected him to do was take his cock into his mouth and suck, hard. Stunned, he gripped the covers to keep from slipping, moan sharp.

Seifer gave the base of his shaft a soft squeeze and sucked at him again, exactly as merciless as Hayner needed. Forgetting himself, one of Hayner's hands went to Seifer's hair to pull him closer, only for his wrist to be knocked away. It took every last shred of willpower to keep his hips down, allow Seifer to move his head and swallow him.

He didn't have to hold out for very long, at least. Hayner bit his lip hard, muffling his moan as he spilled into Seifer's mouth.

He didn't swallow, even though he found that he didn't mind the taste of him. Pulling back, Seifer wiped his mouth and narrowed his eyes at him. “Warning would've been nice...”

Hayner almost didn't have a retort ready. “Whatever. You started it.”

“Could've left you hard,” Seifer shot back, still spitting as he got to his feet.

“Yeah, you could've,” Hayner said. He didn't ask why he hadn't.

Going to clean himself up and redress, Seifer appeared content to ignore Hayner now that they were done. Hayner sat up and gingerly rubbed at the broken skin on his throat, not surprised to confirm that he was bleeding a little.

Xigbar wouldn't be happy, but Hayner didn't give a fuck what mood _he_ was in.

Pulling on his coat, Seifer went for the door. “I'll be back, next time I feel like kicking your ass,” he said, tossing a couple of bills on the bedside table.

“If you want a real fight, do it when you're not paying me to lose.”

“Never said you couldn't win,” Seifer smirked, opening the door. “Not that you stand a chance when you get off on losing.”

Hayner grabbed the first thing available – the bottle of lube – and threw it at him. Seifer shut the door in time to hear something collide with it and laughed, having expected the attack. Things rarely ended between them any other way.

The bottle hadn't been closed first, and Hayner groused to himself as he studied the mess the impact had made. Knowing Xigbar, he'd probably insist that _he_ clean that up... It hardly seemed fair.

Nothing about this was fair.


	15. Riku, Sora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We beg forgiveness that this is slightly late. It definitely probably isn't because Stud took a nap and forgot about editing.

It didn't take very long for a prostitute to get work. Riku would have thought that it would take a while for a 'fanbase' to accumulate, for people to come to him with any sort of regularity with the expectation of getting off. He was, unfortunately, wrong.

The majority of his customers so far hadn't seemed to care who Riku was, taking whoever was available for... well, the taking. Riku knew some of the others in Xigbar's employ had regulars, but for the most part, customers were just one-off pleasure seekers passing through town. How busy (and consequently, how unhappy) Riku was simply varied with the day. There was no predictability, no rhyme or reason to it.

Mercifully, he was allowed to go home early this particular day, business having been slow for Xigbar's men. Even so, Riku was considering stopping by a bar to get a drink or ten.

Maybe it was habit that brought him to the strip club. Riku hadn't gone drinking at any other venues in quite a long time. He was hardly conscious of the decision he'd made to come here or the person stumbling up the street ahead of him, until he heard whistling.

It was a cheery tune. Riku picked up his pace.

“Sora...?”

A little slow to respond, Sora weaved a little with the music in his head. He wasn't dressed for the weather, even with the coat thrown overtop of his clothing – the outfit he was in had probably been stripped off shortly before he'd left.

“Oh, Riku,” Sora greeted. “Hi.”

He didn't beat around the bush with small talk. “Are you drunk?”

“A _li-ittle_ ,” Sora confessed.

“I thought your roommate watched your intake,” Riku sighed, concerned. The idea of Sora walking home like this, on his own... It didn't sit well. “Rough night?”

“It was okay,” Sora shook his head slowly, like he was rolling thoughts around in his brain. “Axel has today off, but I didn't have a lot... Or, more than usual.”

Riku's shoulders rose and fell with the breath he took. “... I'll walk you home.”

With a grin, Sora bobbed closer to Riku, trying to walk in step with him. “Were you gonna come in for a drink?”

“Yeah, but I can wait until I get home.”

“You look like you're going out,” Sora observed.

“I w-... I, yeah, I thought I might,” Riku evaded, “but I'd rather walk you home.”

“We-ell, okay,” Sora drawled, his grin broadening. Riku glanced away and shoved both hands in his pockets, very conscious of the work phone he'd been issued weighing him down.

He was possessed with the fleeting paranoia that Xigbar would change his mind and call him to come back, and considered turning the phone off. If he was caught ignoring calls, though, he'd catch some serious hell.

“... So, lead on... Can you even walk?”

“Uh-huh,” Sora chirped, turning them in the direction of his apartment. They walked together, the hairs on the back of Riku's neck standing on end with self-conscious nerves. Years of practice made it easy to hide his discomfort, though, and Riku said nothing to give himself away.

Sora had an instinctive need to cut through silence, though. “So...”

“Yeah?” Riku's eyes flickered towards him. Sora was still distinctly swaying with every step. But knowing Sora, he could almost imagine a similar lack of coordination when he was sober, too.

“What's... up with you?”

Riku nearly tensed. “What do you mean?”

“Just askin'. 'Cause we're friends,” Sora shrugged.

“... Not a lot. Nothing new,” Riku lied.

“Oh. That's okay, though.”

“How's work?” Riku asked, desperate to keep the discussion off of him. “Everything okay, there?”

“It's the same. I'm just kinda used to it now,” Sora replied.

“As long as no one's giving you a hard time. The bouncers there, though... they seem good.”

“Yeah, they take care of me,” Sora hummed, a touch sheepish. “And Axel does, too.”

Riku nodded. “Nice to know that people have your back,” he muttered.

“Sure is,” Sora agreed, fingers lacing behind his head. The sharp air felt good on his too-warm face and ears; clearing his head slightly without chasing away the dulling effect on the thoughts that might stray somewhere he didn’t like. “You don't come in anymore, though.”

“Axel didn't seem thrilled to have me around, and I'd rather see you when you're not working.”

“Yeah, that's… probably more... good,” Sora determined, fumbling for words. Riku's lips twitched, allowing himself to be more amused than concerned.

“You really are drunk.”

“Nuh-uh,” Sora protested. “That's just me.”

“Probably a mix of both,” Riku said, and nudged his shoulder.

“ _Maybe_ ,” Sora laughed. “Guess I didn't drink a lot... before, with us.”

“We weren't really old enough to enjoy it, but you usually acted drunk enough anyway,” Riku teased.

“Yeah, a li'l bit,” Sora chuckled.

Riku put a hand up to re-adjust Sora's course, noting that he was beginning to veer off the sidewalk. “You're off-balance.”

“Sorry,” Sora said, not sounding remotely sorry. The logical course of action was then to lean into Riku for support.

“It's fine, at least this way I know you won't walk into anything. You used to have enough trouble with that _sober_.”

“ _Hey_.” Sora closed his eyes briefly, Riku steering him.

“I'm not _wrong_.”

“Maybe,” Sora said again, and glanced up at Riku. His gaze quickly focused on Riku's hair, and he nuzzled it out of sheer admiration.

“You still have a fixation with hair, huh?” Riku noted fondly. When they were younger, one of the few things that could get Sora to sit still for an extended period of time was playing with Riku's hair, usually while they had the TV on or while they switched off playing a single-player video game.

“Just yours,” Sora answered frankly.

Not sure how he should take that, Riku tried to joke, “Should I get you two a room?”

Sora was getting giggly, raising his eyebrows in a mockery of flirtatiousness. “Heh, probably.”

Out of sheer surprise, Riku forgot how to support Sora's weight and nearly brought him right into his chest in the process of regaining balance. Sora clutched his arms, alcohol sloshing in his system like a separate, physical weight.

“Alright?” Riku sounded a little winded. Sora settled against his chest, liking the warmth.

“Mhm...”

For a minute, they didn't move.

“... Sora?”

Reluctantly, Sora stopped burrowing his face against Riku. “Yeah?”

“Are we really friends again...?”

“I think so,” Sora said. His brow furrowed in concentration. “I missed this.”

“Me too,” Riku grinned faintly. “I missed you.”

“So if we miss each other, then we gotta still care. So we're friends,” Sora determined, simplifying Riku’s racing anxieties in that too-easy way he always had.

“...Good. Thanks.” Riku managed a smile more easily than he could ever remember doing. Still, when Sora drowsily nuzzled closer, he began to worry that they were getting too familiar too fast. “... Come on, home.”

“Home! Right,” Sora agreed. “My home?”

“W-... yeah, your home, you wouldn't be coming home with me, you wouldn't even want to-...”

“D'you live with Roxas?” Sora interrupted, curious.

“Uh-... No.” Riku was glad to have been cut off. “My parents still have m-... I live with them.”

“ _Ohh_. Sorry,” Sora pouted. “I want to like... hit them, or something.”

Riku almost cringed. “Doubt that'd help.”

Sora took on an expression almost like a glare, as best he could with his eyes barely focusing. “I would anyway.”

“Try to resist the urge. They'd hit back,” Riku advised, subtly unwinding from Sora a bit.

“But you're my b-... my friend...”

“Yeah, I know.” Riku got them to start walking again, shoulders squaring. Talking about his parents did that to him.

Unexpectedly subdued, Sora said, “I'm really sorry, Riku...”

“Hn? For what?”

Sora stared at the ground. “I could've tried harder... 'nsisted to stay. I should've been und-understanding...”

“It was my fault,” Riku shook his head. “Forget it, now, it's in the past.”

“But I didn't wanna not be... us. Before...”

Something felt tight in Riku's throat. “What about now?”

“Huh...?”

“What do you want us to be, now?”

Sora paused, brow furrowing and exerting a fair amount of effort blinking. “You're... with Roxas.”

“Roxas and I aren't-... It's different.” Suddenly, everything current in Riku's life faded, and he felt like a teenager again. Awkward, infatuated. “If he found someone he wanted to... be with... I wouldn't be heartbroken. And he'd be fine if I did. I already know he's screwing around with Axel, and that's alright with me.”

“I know... you e'splained it before, but... I still don't get it.”

“You don't think it's like me,” Riku said. Sora shook his head.

“Not the Riku I know... Or, I think I know.”

Which Riku even was that, he wondered. Not even Riku was sure who he was anymore, the idea of 'himself' farther and farther removed from his mind with each passing day. The only way he could think to explain himself was to say, “He's just all I've got, right now. That's all it is.”

Sora's steps slowed, hands sliding down Riku's arm to his hand. Riku froze in surprise, unsure if he should say something more.

“That's not true,” Sora mumbled. “You've got me.”

With a guilty pang, Riku denied, “Not really. We've only just started talking again... And I don't even know how you feel about me, if you're my friend again out of regret, or-...”

“I'm your friend because I'm your friend! Nothing else,” Sora insisted, words making limited sense but saying them with conviction.

“... It's always so simple, for you.”

Uncharacteristically, Sora had something of a scowl on his face. “Why shouldn't it be?”

“Because it's us.”

“But it's,” Sora began, struggling only briefly for words. “I dunno. I just love you.”

He never would have said it sober. It slipped out innocently, frank and indisputable, and Riku forgot. The fact that Sora was drunk, maybe not being steered by sense, escaped Riku completely and left him stunned.

And it was only right to reply with the truth, which was, “I still love you.”

Not knowing what to say, Sora smiled at him, almost bashfully. Before he could think better of it, Riku swept forward and pressed a light kiss to his lips, and was rewarded – validated – by Sora kissing gently back. Dizzy with alcohol, Sora's thoughts were too muted to be properly stunned, and it just seemed like the right thing to do.

The taste of alcohol reminded Riku too late what was wrong, and he pulled back. “Sorry...”

“S'okay,” Sora reassured him softly. “It's not really like cheating for you, right?”

“No, it's not cheating...”

“Good. 'Cause I'd be really mad if you were a cheater.”

“I'd never do that,” Riku said, the burgeoning worry that the alcohol had been the driving force behind Sora's actions snuffed out. This was exactly the Sora he knew, the one he'd adored all his life.

“I know,” Sora grinned. “... Riku, I don't wanna go home.”

“... Neither do I,” he confessed.

“What do we do?” Sora bit his lip.

Tentative to suggest it, the only thing that came to Riku's mind as an alternative was, “Motel?”

Sora blinked, and didn't immediately connect the implication beyond spending more time with Riku. “Mm... 'Kay.”

“Sure there are some around...”

Riku led Sora, and found that they weren't actually very far from a strip of said establishments, however low budget. Leading them into the motel that appeared to be kept cleanest, Riku spoke to the man behind the desk to get them a keycard, cursing the ease with which he blushed. The look the two of them were given was one of mingled knowing and resignation, as though the entirety of the motel staff would be told to expect a telltale mess tomorrow morning.

Sora was oblivious, his shortened memory discarding every event practically as it happened. The idea that he should tell Axel that he was out for the night didn't occur to him; his friend wasn't even present in his mind. He was pondering whether or not their room would have a minibar – doubtful – when Riku took him by the hand and walked them towards their room.

“Good?” Sora asked.

“Yeah, we're set for the night,” Riku confirmed. Their room was on the first floor, very basic in design, but the bedding looked clean and that was all that mattered. Sora didn't bother to check, deciding the best thing for his dizziness was to sprawl out over the mattress immediately.

Riku closed the door and put the keycard down on the bedside table. He was balking, unsure what to do or what he should even think. He refused to expect anything.

Groping for a pillow, Sora hugged it against his chest and rolled over to look at Riku. “S'been forever, since we could just hang out...”

It was silly to keep his distance, at least. Riku sat on the bed. “Yeah. Guess adulthood hasn't left us all that much free time.”

“No,” Sora agreed with a hint of mirth. “Us, adults, huh?”

“I know, I don't believe it, either.”

“Thought growing up with you would end up a little different,” Sora remarked.

“What did you think might happen?” Riku tentatively settled onto his back beside him.

“Guess I thought we'd be together, still... in any way. Always imagined living with you.”

“... I thought we would, too,” Riku murmured. “To both of those.”

Sora curled around his pillow. “And... not in a place like this.”

“A decent neighbourhood, maybe close to a college campus...” Riku turned, and lightly trailed one hand over Sora's arm.

It felt nice.

“Yeah,” Sora hummed. “Thought maybe we'd go to the same school... or if I couldn't afford it, I'd just follow you.”

“I'd have to pay my own tuition, so we could have gone to the same one.”

“Anywhere would have been okay with me, really. I thought... if we could just manage until we were old enough to get away from our parents...”

“... It would've been good,” Riku said softly. Sora's expression fell miserably.

“Yeah...”

Not wanting Sora to sound like that, Riku kissed him again, gently but insistent. There was a touch of nostalgia to it, something that made the kiss familiar and too good to pull away from, and Sora leaned closer. Construing that as the desire for more, Riku deepened it and felt Sora's grip on the pillow between them go slack.

This couldn't – shouldn't – go too fast, though. Riku was wary of turning this into something sexual, not when things were still so fresh. Being closer, though...

It had been so long since Riku had felt close to _anyone_. There was no intimacy with customers, and he and Roxas didn't even hug. The pillow falling away, the two of them shuffled closer until there was nothing but the thin barrier of clothing to separate them.

“Mm...” Sora found a comfortable place to rest his arms. His head was spinning pleasantly, warmth spreading through his body better than if he'd just downed shots in quick succession. Riku's hand was gliding along his back, and Sora unconsciously moved his hands in a lazy rhythm, guiding it further down.

Riku almost tensed. He'd thought to avoid touching him anywhere too suggestive, but if Sora wanted him to...

Slowly, he let his palm press against Sora's ass.

It'd been such a long time since Sora had been touched like that by someone he wanted. His clothes suddenly felt restrictive, movements stuttering.

Then Riku gave a light suck to his lower lip, and Sora was left weakened with want. With a little moan, he nipped Riku back.

They moved together instinctively, Riku halfway on top of him and Sora bringing him over in encouragement. Their kisses were thorough and incessant, hesitations melting in the face of heat, thoughts narrowing to a single subject as they forgot what might be unwise. Sora's hands slid into Riku's hair.

“Mm... 'ku,” he mumbled against Riku's lips, arching his hips against Riku's massaging hands.

“This okay?” Riku asked, lips still brushing Sora's. He rocked against him once, and Sora's face burned with his blush.

“Yeah... s'okay...”

“Okay...”

Riku's hands slid up underneath Sora's shirt. They weren't completely warm yet, and the cool skin made Sora inhale sharply and laugh. Riku buried his lips against his throat with an apologetic grin.

“Sorry...”

Sora tilted Riku's chin up to kiss him, smiling into it. Out of consideration, Riku rubbed his hands to warm them before letting them descend. Legs already moving apart, Sora groaned and shifted to give him all the access he could want, kissing Riku with unbidden eagerness.

The way he moaned... Riku couldn't have forgotten even if he'd wanted to. Sora was vocal, responsive to the press of Riku's palm to his clothed cock – it reminded him of their fumbling teen years, when pleasure was still new and neither of them knew what to expect. Back then, it'd been imperative that they try to keep the volume down, but now... Now, Riku could just enjoy it. He fought another grin and started to strip away Sora's clothing, glad for a change that it was designed to slide off easily.

“Ngh...” Sora arched, Riku's mouth descending on his chest once it had been bared, and he sat up enough to pull at Riku's shirt insistently. He wasn't clumsy or experimental anymore, but even with the sensuality of added experience, he was still so _Sora_ about everything he did.

It was precisely what Riku wanted. What he needed.

As Riku sucked and traced lines down his abdomen, Sora's breath hitched with every spark of heat. He remembered the spots Sora liked and the ones he didn't, and some part of Sora was sober enough to appreciate it when he avoided his ticklish sides.

“Ri-iku...” Sora lifted his hips and grinned when Riku got the message. He slid the tight pants down, careful in exposing his half-hard cock.

If it'd been anyone else, any other time, Sora might've felt self-conscious. He was too unbalanced to remember modesty, closing his eyes in anticipation rather than embarrassment, once again rewarded when Riku's lips parted around the head.

“ _Riku_...”

Sucking gently, Riku traced his tongue around the crown, wrapped up in every detail. “This is... okay, right...?”

“Uh-huh.” Sora sounded dazed. He hardened easily in Riku's hand, receptive to the slow strokes and the return of Riku's mouth. He hadn't needed more reassurance than that to fall victim to his own want, and judging by Sora's unfiltered groans, he wasn't in the mood to stop, either.

Stroking Riku's hair, Sora made himself sit up, the desire to watch outweighing the need to collapse and _feel_. Riku bowed his head, falling into a lazy rhythm of sucking and humming, silver strands falling over his face and through Sora's greedy fingers. Unconsciously, Sora began rocking his hips up into his accepting mouth, less careful than he'd normally be.

Riku had gotten used to less control and consideration, though. He moved with hm easily, revelling in the rise and fall of Sora's voice.

“Ngh... wait...” Sora's grip tightened.

“Mmn...” Drawing back, Riku gave the inside of his thigh a light kiss, waiting a beat before asking, “What is it...?”

He'd briefly forgotten what he was going to say. Having Riku _stop_ was both the opposite of and the very thing he'd intended. Sora stared at his face, getting fixated on every little detail of it. “Haven't touched you at all... I should... I want to...”

“You can,” Riku breathed, kissing his thigh again before pushing himself up to his knees. Sora shifted, hands flying to Riku's shirt and jeans. He'd gotten too distracted to strip him, before, and that wasn't fair: he wanted to _see_.

With an expression akin to fascination, Sora ran his fingers down Riku's chest and stomach, studying the smooth lines of muscle. Riku almost shivered – it was such a simple touch, but it was more sexually charged than anything he'd done with anyone else.

He didn't think he'd _ever_ felt like this before while sober.

Playing on his way down to Riku's hipbones, Sora bit his lip, focus narrowing to getting Riku's pants off. They were discarded, leaving Riku bare and his to touch.

He hissed a little, when Sora wrapped a hand around his erection and ran his thumb up the velvet-soft skin. Sora squirmed, arousal thrumming in his veins, but he pushed it down. He wanted to explore a little more, relearn Riku's body.

With a soft groan, Riku kissed along Sora's collarbone and up to his jaw. “That's perfect...”

“Mm...” Sora nuzzled against him and bent to create his own trail of kisses, squeezing gently at the base.

“Sora...”

Guided down to the mattress, Riku kissed Sora anywhere he could until he was out of reach, Sora's destination low on his body. Soft lips lit tiny fires in his nerves, his descent inevitably taking him to the head of Riku's cock. Bright blue eyes flickered up, meeting Riku's.

“Damn...” Riku's hands glided over Sora's shoulders, gaze heated. “You're amazing.”

The flush that lit up Sora's face was brought on by self-satisfaction just as much as it was embarrassment. With a little moan, he took him in as deep as he comfortably could and hollowed his cheeks, slowed somewhat by haziness despite his enthusiasm. Dizzy and warm, sounds escaped on Riku's unsteady breaths.

He murmured something, but Sora was too intent to make out the words. If they'd sounded anything like 'I love you', it was for the best that they didn't register. Riku was feeling a little drugged; he hadn't been fully conscious of even saying them.

“God, Sora, you're gonna make me...” Riku groaned, hand slipping over the back of Sora's neck. He leaned into the touch, managing a questioning sound before bobbing his head and pressing his tongue flat to the shaft with a long, languid drag.

It didn't look like he planned on pulling back.

“Fuck, I'm close, I -” Riku let his eyes close, and the first hint of smug vibration did him in. He hissed Sora's name, the sound coming out surprisingly loud and his climax hitting him unexpectedly hard.

In awe, Sora moved his head and clumsily swallowed what he could. He didn't know he could make Riku be so loud.

He did nothing to draw Sora off until the point of oversensitivity, and then Riku gently guided him up. He was still so flushed, obscene in the way his eyes shone innocently and white streaked from the corner of his lips. Riku's thumb ran over the spend, cleaning him up with absent-minded affection.

“Sora...” he murmured, almost reverent. “I want to help you finish...”

Sora would've almost been satisfied to just fall asleep against Riku's chest, but the thrum between his legs persisted enough. He sat up and nodded, allowing Riku to guide him back against the bed.

It didn't take long before Sora was moaning loud again, Riku's hand stroking his length in smooth, deliberate motions, his mouth leaving light marks beneath his collarbone. Neither one of them were aware of the small bruises, too caught up in how good the closeness felt.

“Mn... Riku...”

His hand was moving faster, lips roving higher, and Sora caught his jaw abruptly to steer Riku's lips towards his. The kiss was deep, hungry, and only grew more passionate as Sora's pleasure mounted. It wasn't taking much, he was so worked up, he'd missed this _so much_...

And then he twitched hard, clung to Riku, broke the kiss to inhale and stutter over his name. Sora's moan was loud and ragged, spilling hot into his hand.

Riku stroked him through his orgasm and carelessly wiped his hand on the bedcovers afterwards, still holding him close. Buzzed on satisfaction and alcohol in equal parts, Sora snuggled up to Riku's side and closed his eyes with a soft hum, appreciating the kisses being dappled across his jaw.

“Missed you,” Sora didn't assign any real meaning to the words, to what they were doing or had done. He was comfortable, and warm, and nothing else seemed to matter.

“Missed you, too...” Riku wrapped around him and mumbled against his neck. “Want to sleep?”

“Uh huh. Jus' wake me up 'fore check out.” Sora nuzzled his hair, and drifted off that way almost immediately. He didn't even hear Riku respond before he was snoring softly.

Grinning faintly, Riku shifted them to drag the bedcovers partially on top of them, and fell asleep with Sora still in his arms.


	16. Sora, Axel, Kairi; Riku, Roxas

It had only been a night. Too soon to warrant a call to the police, who wouldn't even declare Sora 'missing' for some time. Still, Sora had gone to work alone last night, and hadn't come home after his shift.

Axel was going out of his mind. He was inclined to tear through the city looking for his friend, but had reluctantly taken a more 'rational approach'. That meant... waiting. And it didn't sit well with him.

Kairi had at least come over to save him from having to wait alone. She paced around the couch, glancing periodically at her phone even though Sora wouldn't be able to call unless he was with someone. It technically wasn't for personal calls, anyway – she didn't know if Sora would even think to call it.

“We know he was at work,” Kairi said, going over information they both already knew just to fill the anxious silence. “Xaldin said he left on time, and he was alone...”

“Something must've stopped him.” Axel rapped his fingers against his arm, not sure whether he should sit down or remain standing, like it would make a difference one way or the other. “He's not defenceless, but he's _Sora_...”

“I told him not to drink when you're not working, I _told_ him...” Kairi fretted.

“I'm talking to the other bartenders, no one should serve him other than me. I know his limits.” Making up his mind, Axel sank onto the couch. “... Fuck...”

“He shouldn't walk home alone anymore, either...” Kairi looked at her phone again.

“Maybe I'll sta -”

The front door squeaked. Subdued for a myriad of reasons, Sora leaned groggily into it to push it open, keys in hand but finding it unlocked. “M'back...”

Axel shot up to his feet. “You son of a _bitch_.”

Wincing, Sora mumbled a sheepish, “Um... hi, Axel...”

“ _Sora._ ” Kairi's voice was sharp.

“And Kairi...”

“We were fucking _worried_ , where the hell were you?” Axel glowered, taking in Sora's disarray. He was clearly unharmed, maybe a bit hungover, but no worse for wear.

“Sorry, I would have called... I didn't think...”

“... You were with someone, weren't you?” Kairi accused, recognizing the signs in an instant.

Crossing the room, Axel shut the door and folded his arms. “Spill.”

Sora had never been a good liar. He couldn't think fast enough. Glancing between his two friends, he squirmed. “I-I was, um...”

“We just spent all night freaking out, over you,” Axel said shortly. “A timely answer'd be nice.”

“... I was with Riku,” Sora squeaked.

“Holy shit,” Axel sighed.

Kairi's eyes widened. “Doing _what?_ ”

“I just ran into him after work, and we talked... and stuff.”

Kairi took a step back and pointed to the couch. “Sit.”

Meekly, he obliged. Axel regarded Sora with his eyes narrowed in thought, worries mounting by the minute, and Kairi was in no better state.

Sounding strained, she asked, “Did you sleep with him?”

“I dunno... I don't think so,” Sora muttered.

Axel tensed. “You _don't know?_ Did he slip you something?”

“No! I was just kinda drunk and confused...”

“So he took advantage,” Axel said.

Sora almost cringed again. Riku had said something similar that morning, looking wrecked as he put together what they'd actually done. Sora's head had spun, stomach queasy, and he hadn't been able to think of anything he could say to put Riku's mind at ease.

“Not really,” he protested, and felt a little worse that he hadn't been able to do so to Riku's face. “I was doing everything, too, but -”

“You shouldn't defend him – _or_ yourself, for that matter,” Kairi interrupted sternly. “Just give us the facts.”

“And don't sugarcoat anything,” Axel added.

Sora took a deep breath. “Okay, so I was walking home from work, and I really just ran into Riku and then we started talking about what's going on, and us, if there was an us...” He paused for another breath. “And then we just wanted to spend more time together, I think, so we went, um, to a motel...”

Axel bit back the flood of commentary he had, burying his face in one hand. Kairi chewed her lip in a mix of worry and disapproval.

“And... that's where it gets hard to remember,” Sora admitted. “We did some stuff but I'm pretty sure didn't go all the way... And then this morning it was really awkward and we agreed not to do that again, and probably not see each other much... if ever.”

It wasn't what Sora wanted to have come from their encounter... but if he had to say what he _did_ want, the truth was that he didn't know.

“ _That's_ something, at least,” Axel declared. “You don't need a guy with that much baggage. _And_ we're getting you tested.”

Kairi glanced sharply at Axel, wondering if he _knew_. “... Yeah.”

Sora's eyes widened. “Tested? What? But Riku's just been with Roxas, and you won't sleep with him because he's clean, right?”

Axel's tone was clipped. “The guy's a junkie, Sora. Roxas told me, he's a hardcore addict.”

The atmosphere in the room changed, becoming cold and stagnant. Sora stared, not understand for a long moment as he searched for some other meaning to the words. “An addict...?”

“What?!” Kairi's mouth hung open, just as shocked.

“He probably shares needles, could have who-knows-what,” Axel sighed heavily. “He's dangerous, Sora.”

Kairi's jaw remained slack. She suddenly understood so much, and it made her feel kind of sick.

“But...” It just wasn't making sense, in Sora's head. It would have been a more shocking concept if he hadn't known Namine, wasn't familiar with genuine smiles masking self-destructive hunger, but...

But it was _Riku_.

“We'll get you tested, and then I don't think you should see him again. That's more trouble than you need.” Axel was aware of his hypocrisy on the subject, but was willing to argue the point to death if he had to.

“I...” Sora's lower lip quavered. He couldn't dispute it, but he remembered how he _felt_ last night with alarming clarity. “... Okay.”

Hands clenched at her sides, Kairi went to snatch up her coat, speaking stiffly. “Well, I'm glad you're okay, even if you were being stupid. I have to go to work now.”

“Yeah, alright...” Axel ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm down. It was even harder to do so, knowing Kairi was off to a job that made her miserable. “Thanks for sticking around while this idiot worried me half to death.”

“No problem, he worried me the rest of the way.”

She walked out briskly, and Sora shrank.

“Bye, Kairi... Sorry...” He flinched as the door shut smartly after her.

“... You're an idiot,” Axel told him.

“I know,” Sora mumbled. “I'm sorry I worried you...”

“Almost killed us,” he corrected. “I think I went grey.”

“Well... you didn't?”

“I'd better not have, you'd have to pay for my dye job.” Axel folded his arms and appraised him. “... Do you really like him?”

“... Maybe,” Sora answered quietly.

“Even though he's shooting up and not telling you about it? Or was that a thing you knew about?”

“Of course I didn't know.”

“So this is a more recent thing. Roxas wasn't kidding...” Axel's fingers dug in against his arms.

“Kidding...?”

“Not important,” Axel sighed. “... Don't drink unless I'm around, okay?”

Sora looked down at his feet. “Yeah... that's probably smart...”

“And as for Riku...”

“I... I'll try not to see him again.”

Now that the heat of the moment had passed, Axel was willing to be a touch more reasonable. “I won't tell you not to. You're an adult. But he's bad for you.”

“I know, I know,” Sora nodded. “If I do see him again, I have to talk to him about this...”

“... It sucks to say, but I don't want you to end up like Kairi. If you shack up with him...”

Sora lowered his head. “I won't... Not unless he quits.”

“You think he'd quit for you? Because according to Roxas, Riku doesn't have much else, aside from drugs and Rox.”

He didn't doubt it. Sora's eyes stayed on the floor. “Didn't say he'd quit for me...”

Axel shrugged. “... Well, if you want to talk to him, anyway...”

“I don't know!” Sora burst out. He got to his feet, visibly upset. “I only found out about this five minutes ago, I don't know what I want to do!”

He went off to his room, and Axel didn't pursue. Sora shut his door and fell numbly onto his bed, head swimming unpleasantly.

  


* * *

 

The lock hadn't been repaired, yet.

Riku slunk through the front door of Roxas's apartment, heavy with melancholy and shame. He wished he was returning with heroin, the need to shoot up prevalent only because he couldn't fathom any other way to cope with last night. He didn't want to have to think about never seeing Sora again, and the idea that Sora probably felt like he'd been taken advantage of.

For some reason, he'd expected Roxas to be in plain sight. Maybe even guarding his run-down abode. There was no sign that anyone was home, though.

“Roxas...?” Riku called out. “It's me...”

Shivering in his bed, Roxas's pounding heart didn't slow even as he relaxed. He'd sat bolt upright at the sound of the door, clutching his sheets with nails bitten down to bloody stubs. “I'm in-...” Roxas croaked, then cleared his throat. “I'm in here.”

Amidst every other anguished feeling, concern tugged at Riku's chest. He followed the sound of Roxas's voice to the bedroom.

There was a look on Riku's face that Roxas usually associated with any long stretch of time spent with his parents, but he didn't know what to say about it. Instead, he asked, “What time is it?”

The sun was uncomfortably bright through the crooked blinds, now that he focused on reality again, and it made the places it touched too hot in contrast to the chilly room.

“Little after one.”

Roxas nodded, as though time actually meant anything at that point. “Didn't think I'd see you after you didn't come back last night...”

Riku sank onto the bed beside him. “... Sorry.”

“I'm not mad,” Roxas said, moving aside for him to lie down. He hesitated, not sure he wanted to admit that he was still scared to be alone at night. It was partly out of pride, but mostly, he just felt like he couldn't ask more of Riku after what he was already doing for them.

Getting comfortable, Riku said, “Still. I shouldn't have-... If I'd had a way to call, I would have.”

He kind of wanted to hold Roxas, but he'd never known him to be very cuddly. Defying expectations though, Roxas rolled over to get close. He was cold and still coming down from the spike of anxiety.

“Do you mind...?”

Keeping his surprise to himself, Riku wrapped Roxas up in his arms. Tucking himself against Riku's body, Roxas breathed softly, his heart still racing.

Normally, he was a little resentful of the height and muscle Riku had on him, but at the moment he was just glad to feel even marginally safer. He pushed back the awareness that Riku's wasn't the warmth he actually wanted to be held against.

Riku rubbed his back idly. He felt even worse, now, thinking about how he abandoned Roxas just to make a mistake with Sora. He was running the risk of spiralling when Roxas broke the silence, trying to distract them both.

“Did Xigbar make you stay overnight?” he asked. He wanted to assume the safe ground of conversation; complaining about something else.

“No – I... I ran into Sora, after work.”

Roxas made a sound of surprise. “Sora, huh?”

“Yeah. We... spent the night together.”

Roxas stiffened. “Oh.”

“... What?” Riku felt like he should let him go, but wasn't willing to unwrap his arms just yet.

Sighing, Roxas said, “No, forget it.”

“I can't just 'forget it'. What's wrong?”

At that, Roxas started to pull away. He wasn't sure what he was feeling, and dreaded the idea that it might be jealousy. “Nothing. It doesn't matter to me what you do with him.”

Riku sat up as Roxas withdrew. “... Alright. Good. But you're upset.”

He was starting to feel pestered. “Obviously I'm upset. My apartment still doesn't have a real lock and I feel like I want to tear my skin off.”

“Sorry,” Riku glanced away. “Fine, I'll drop it.”

“Thanks.”

Quiet now, Riku began to lie down again. He was still bothered, and a little exasperated that they never seemed to actually talk about things. Likewise, Roxas was still tense, and his conflicted feelings went unresolved.

“We don't have enough for a hit yet, do we?” he asked.

“... Not yet,” Riku answered. “Xigbar doesn't pay out often enough.”

Roxas grimaced. “Dick.”

“I'm positive he does it just to make us miserable.”

“Like there's a danger of anyone being _too_ happy there.”

“Guess the lower you keep morale, the more likely you are to keep your hookers,” Riku guessed.

“Hm.” Roxas hesitated. “You're... okay, though?”

“It's nothing I can't deal with.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“I signed up for this, didn't I? So don't be.”

“Fine,” Roxas sighed again. Riku fought back the temptation to stroke his cheek.

“Once I get more... established, there, we won't need to struggle so much,” he promised.

“... I'll bring in more soon,” Roxas replied, heavy with guilt.

“Yeah... We'll get through this.”

“Yeah...”

The silence stretched on, again.

After a while, Roxas broke it once more. “Are you going to keep seeing Sora?”

Riku almost winced. “No. Probably not. Why?”

“I don't know. Just. Don't think you have to stop on my account.”

“I didn't.” Riku raised his eyebrows. “You see other people, so I didn't think...”

“One other person, but yeah,” Roxas corrected. “Exactly.”

“Right. Axel.”

Something about the turn in the conversation made Roxas oddly defensive. “And it's not like I've seen him since all this shit went down.”

“Why not? No one's stopping you.”

“I know. Just... didn't seem like a good time to be going out for hook ups.”

It was Riku's turn to defend himself. “I wasn't 'going out for hook ups', Sora and I just happened to meet up -”

“Fine, I didn't say you did.” Roxas managed to bite back the rest of what he wanted to say for all of a second. “But you didn't stop to think that maybe I needed you more?”

“You hardly ever need me,” Riku said.

“Still more than you ever need me,” Roxas countered, pulling his knees up. “I'm sure Sora's less depressing to be around right now, so I guess I can't blame you.”

“It wasn't like that.”

“Then what was it?”

He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to acknowledge it, again.

“... He was drunk,” Riku muttered.

For the first time since he walked in, Roxas looked him in the face, incredulous. “Riku, what the hell?”

“It wasn't-... I was just going to walk him home, that was it, everything that happened just... _happened_ ,” Riku despaired. “I don't know...”

“This stuff doesn't 'just happen', you had a choice,” Roxas argued. “And you've wanted him since you first saw him at the strip club, or, I don't know, maybe since before we were together.”

“It's complicated, alright? But it was a mistake that won't happen again.”

Still unimpressed, Roxas shook his head. “If you say so.”

“I do,” Riku said firmly. “Just... can we forget about it?”

“You still haven't told him anything, right?”

“... No.”

Roxas smiled. “Yeah, I figured...”

Riku turned his head away, misery eating at him. Roxas was too tired to keep arguing the point, but he was privately convinced that what Riku just confirmed meant it would definitely happen again.

He stretched out on the bed, and the two of them lay in tense silence.


	17. Demyx, Zexion, Lexaeus

Xigbar had been good enough to give Demyx a bit of cash, in lieu of a place to stay that night. He was apparently going to be staying overnight at the brothel – 'business is booming tonight', he'd smirked – and he wasn't inclined to let Demyx crash unsupervised. That suited him fine, since the money was enough to pay for a taxi, and he had a place in mind.

He got the buzzer code wrong twice, his use of the resident index clumsy at best.

Upstairs, Zexion sipped from a wine glass as he perused his shelves for a new book. He ignored the ringing of the landline, knowing that anyone important and calling at such a late hour would've dialed his personal phone instead.

He listened to Lexaeus pick up the call, and noted the faint note of bemusement when he said into the receiver, “Hold, please.”

Setting the phone aside, Lexaeus approached Zexion. “... The vagrant is downstairs.”

Zexion pondered for a moment, then smirked. “Let him in.”

Lexaeus didn't question. He went back to the phone and buzzed him in, while Zexion selected his book. He retreated briefly to his bedroom to change into something less casual.

Several minutes later, there was a rhythmic knock at the door. Lexaeus answered.

“Hey, big guy,” Demyx grinned brightly. “Can I come in? ... You did let me into the building, so, it'll be really awkward if I hang around in the hall...”

Leaving the bedroom with his robe tied at the waist, Zexion answered. “You may.”

Automatically, Demyx looked Zexion over with interest as he stepped inside, Lexaeus moving to allow him in.

“I presume you are looking for shelter for the night,” Zexion said.

Demyx's grin broadened. “Yeah.”

“And you know the payment?”

“D'you want me to clean again? I think I know the theory better, this time around.”

“ _No_.” Zexion cleared his throat. “... No. You won't be doing that again.”

“Oh. So-...?” Demyx trailed off, admittedly hopeful.

“Tonight, you may prepare a meal for me.”

“Cooking? Sure!” Demyx declared. Concern immediately piqued, Lexaeus glanced at Zexion.

“Lexaeus, please supervise,” Zexion instructed, and he relaxed marginally.

Gravitating towards the kitchen, Demyx put down his guitar case. “Cool! What'm I supposed to make?”

“You will find recipe cards and all the ingredients you need.”

Lexaeus still had a bad feeling, but didn't voice it. He just went to observe as Demyx looked through the fridge with wide eyes, unaccustomed to seeing so much food. He snuck some fruit into his mouth while he began figuring out what he'd need.

Retiring to the couch with his book, Zexion kept an ear out for any trouble. Surely any fool could follow a recipe card, and Lexaeus would prevent him from doing anything destructive, but Zexion preferred to err on the side of caution.

Figuring out where the recipe cards were, Demyx went to tentatively get out a pot.

“Not that one,” Lexaeus said.

“Huh?”

“It's overlarge.”

“Got it...” Putting it back, Demyx took out a smaller one and put it under the tap.

“You need to measure the water,” Lexaeus interjected again.

“It's just water,” Demyx blinked.

Zexion drummed his fingers, eyes on the first page of his book.

“It's chemistry,” Lexaeus corrected. “You'll need to measure it, just as you'll need to measure everything else.”

Demyx looked baffled. “How do you _measure water?_ This looks right.”

Starting to realize that Demyx was going to be just as hopeless at this, Zexion sighed.

Lexaeus moved Demyx aside, only to see then that the burner was glowing bright red. “When -” hastily, he shut it off. “You can't just leave the burner on -”

“Won't things cook faster that way?”

Zexion pressed his head into his palm.

Demyx let Lexaeus take over with the water and measuring cup, rummaging through the cupboard for pasta noodles.

“You should be working on the sauce, first,” Lexaeus informed him.

“Why? Don't you just... heat it up?” Demyx frowned.

“We do not have 'instant sauce'. It needs to be made.”

Zexion warily let himself be immersed in his book again once he'd recovered. Lexaeus seemed to have a handle on things – at the very least, he didn't think dinner would be a disaster.

Demyx turned the burner back on once the pot was sitting on it, and started to look for ingredients for the sauce. The recipe card spelled out which ones to use, but honestly, he didn't even recognize half of what was in the fridge.

Tomatoes! He knew tomatoes were integral, though. He took several of them out of the fridge to start cutting them up.

Zexion had actually managed to get back into his reading when he heard Demyx hiss, “ _Ow_...”

“Cut away from yourself,” Lexaeus sighed.

Alarmed, Zexion lowered his book. “He's not bleeding, is he?”

Pouting, Demyx held up a bleeding finger. Lexaeus felt a headache coming on.

“Yes,” he answered, and was alarmed when he realized the pot had started smoking. He hastened forward to shut the heat off again and remove the pot. He switched on the fan above the stove. “When did you turn the heat back on?”

“Do not allow him to bleed on anything we're eating,” Zexion called sharply.

Lexaeus could barely hear him over the whir of the fan, but knew that much anyway. He prompted Demyx to run his finger under the tap, and used the moment to inspect the bottom of the pot. To his dismay, it looked somewhat blackened.

“Stay here,” he instructed Demyx, going to show Zexion.

Zexion stood at Lexaeus's approach, and his eyes narrowed at the sight of what Demyx had managed to do. “... Please remove him from my kitchen. Do you mind finishing the meal?”

“Of course.” Lexaeus returned to the kitchen, and almost pushed Demyx out.

“Ah...” Demyx faltered, not looking sheepish until he saw that Zexion had crossed his arms and was glowering. “So, uh, what else do I do?”

“You cannot clean. You cannot cook,” Zexion said. “What _can_ you do?”

“Uh...” Demyx thought aloud. “Play guitar, and I'm really good at blowjobs.”

“... You can't do me much good by playing guitar every night.”

Still shamefaced, Demyx grinned through it. “I'm _really_ good at the blowjobs, though?”

Zexion gave him a look, clearly not thinking that was worth justifying with an answer. Demyx's shoulders slumped.

“... Do I have to leave?”

“... No,” Zexion decided, despite his nagging better judgement. “You may play for me again tonight. I will think of something for next time.”

Taking that to mean he wasn't in trouble, Demyx perked up again. “Cool!”

Putting a bookmark between the pages, Zexion turned towards his bedroom, and Demyx automatically followed once he'd retrieved his guitar. The door was left open in Zexion's wake, which was all the invitation he needed.

“Stand over there, please, while I change.”

“Sure.” Demyx closed the door after him and went to stand as directed.

Deadpan, Zexion added, “Turn away.”

“Oh! Right!” Demyx took his eyes off Zexion and turned around. Sighing, Zexion kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't try to peek around his shoulder as he untied the robe and unzipped his slacks.

After a minute of some absent studying of the wall, Demyx asked, “Can I look yet?”

Zexion reached for the robe again, now dressed in a pair of pyjama pants with his clothes folded neatly on top of the laundry basket. Tying it closed, he said, “You may.”

Demyx turned quickly, and was vaguely disappointed not to catch the tail-end of Zexion getting dressed. Self-conscious, Zexion tightened the sash and climbed into bed.

“Oh – what about dinner?”

“Lexaeus will inform us when it's finished.” Zexion opened the book again.

“Oh. ... Should I play, now?”

“Yes. Something soft, please.”

“Cool, I can do that.” Demyx opened the guitar case and withdrew the instrument, testing the notes quickly before he started to play.

Expecting no other sound out of Demyx than the gentle notes, Zexion found it easy to otherwise ignore him, admittedly more relaxed with the ambient music as a backdrop to the text. More than happy simply playing, Demyx drifted into the song, starting to hum without thinking.

Zexion lifted his eyes, considered, and elected to allow it. Demyx's voice was surprisingly pleasant, and he hadn't gone so far as to burst into song.

They remained that way for some time, Demyx leading one song into another, Zexion reading his book. They were disrupted by a knock on the door.

“Enter,” Zexion called.

Demyx stopped playing and eyed the plate Lexaeus brought in with unabashed longing. He'd only brought the one plate, which he took to Zexion.

Sliding his legs over the edge of the bed, he took the plate and decided, “Bring another, if there's any left over.”

Demyx lit up.

“Very well.” Lexaeus returned to the kitchen, leaving the door partially open.

“... Thanks,” Demyx said earnestly.

“You... started to help with the preparation. You get what you earn, from me.”

“Could earn more,” he mumbled.

“What do you intend to earn and how?”

Demyx shrugged. “Told you what I can do. Promise, even if you don't like guys, you don't have to _look_. Just, you know.”

“It's not a question of preference.”

“Is it 'cause I'm homeless?” Demyx guessed.

Zexion sighed softly. “It has nothing to do with you.”

“... Oh.” That made him feel a tiny bit better. “What is it, then?”

“Such things do not hold interest for me,” Zexion answered.

Demyx blinked. “... What, like, not at all?”

“Not at all,” he confirmed.

“Oh,” Demyx said, but was more confused than ever.

Turning his fork, Zexion lifted a small bite of pasta to eat with as much grace as he could muster. “Honestly, I don't see what the fascination is for others.”

“Well... y'know...” Demyx offered lamely. “Sex feels good and some people look like you'd like it with them.”

“I understand the theory.”

“Do you? I mean, like... have you _felt_ it?”

Despite himself, Zexion's cheeks were getting warm. “I... can't say that I have.”

“S'kind of hard to explain, then,” Demyx lamented.

“Mm.” Zexion, assuming the conversation was over, lifted another forkful to his mouth.

“... Well... if you ever did want -”

Lexaeus knocked on the open door before coming in. Zexion was grateful for the interruption. While Demyx hastened to put his guitar back in its case, Lexaeus stood by silently.

“Thanks!” Demyx took the plate once his hands were free. Zexion nodded his own private thanks to Lexaeus.

“And everything is alright?” Lexaeus asked.

“Yes, thank you.”

Taking Zexion at his word, Lexaeus nodded and left the room. Intent on his meal, Demyx barely heard the exchange from the moment his mouth was full. It didn't occur to Zexion to invite Lexaeus to come eat with them, or to join him in the small dining room. He would be fine on his own.

He ate a little more before determining that he'd had his fill. Taking his half-emptied plate, Zexion slipped out of bed to take it to the kitchen, thinking he would wrap it up for later – he did so despise waste. Oblivious, Demyx sank against the wall to get more comfortable while he ate.

Lexaeus was there, washing the pots and cutlery in the sink. He glanced towards Zexion when he entered, and though he was not usually one to spontaneously engage in conversation, the situation felt too serious not to.

“Will he be sharing your bed again?”

Zexion covered his plate and opened the refrigerator. “... I think so, yes. There is space enough for him, and I don't trust him alone out here among my possessions.”

Carefully, Lexaeus said, “I'm worried he might begin forming an... attachment.”

“Any such inclination he may form is harmless.”

“Do you know that for certain?” It was even more rare that Lexaeus felt the need to second-guess Zexion.

“I am quite sure,” Zexion reassured him. “He is the type that is easily used, but wouldn't know how to do it, himself.”

“... Very well.”

“I don't expect to leave my room again tonight. Thank you for the meal.” Zexion started to walk away, only to pause with a smirk. “It was good.”

“Hm.” Without another word, Lexaeus continued his clean-up.

With a brief detour to the washroom to brush his teeth, Zexion came back to the bedroom in time to see Demyx polishing off his plate. He slid back into bed and started to get comfortable, only to falter in surprise. Demyx got up to join him on the mattress, putting the plate carelessly aside.

“So... D'you want me to keep playing?”

Picking up his book, Zexion nodded. Demyx grinned, going to retrieve the guitar.

“Cool!” he declared. Once again, he sat – rather presumptuously – on the bed by Zexion, picking up where he left off. Zexion shifted minutely away from him and brushed his bangs aside to see the pages.

Unfortunately, he could feel Demyx's eyes on him, and there was only so long he could determinedly ignore him. To his disbelief, Demyx seemed to content to stare while he was playing for several unbroken minutes, and he finally tore his eyes away from the book to turn an inquiring gaze on him.

Caught, Demyx missed a note. “Um...”

Zexion arched a narrow eyebrow.

“Heh... Sorry.”

“Is something the matter?” He stressed the question, hoping to make it clear that he wouldn't tolerate an inadequate answer.

It went over Demyx's head. “Nothing!”

“... I see,” Zexion sighed.

“You're pretty, is all,” Demyx explained in a rush.

“... Pretty?” Zexion repeated. “That's... an unusual choice of phrasing.”

“Why? You are.”

Slowly, Zexion lowered the book to his lap. “You make it extraordinarily difficult to be oblivious to your... interest, as I am trying to be.”

Demyx laughed sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“Though that makes it no less baffling. I doubt very much that you are lacking a willing party.”

“Never am,” Demyx admitted with no trace of modesty. “Just, you're... interesting,” he decided.

“But as you know, I wouldn't be capable.”

“I know. I'm not gonna like, push it, I just... like to look. Because you're pretty and interesting.”

Zexion picked his book up. “Very well.”

“So, it's okay?”

“I can't do much to stop you beyond kicking you out.”

“And you're not gonna?” Demyx was vaguely surprised.

“Not tonight.”

He considered that phrasing. “But, some other night, you would?”

“If you weren't earning your stay, yes.”

Immediately, Demyx resumed playing. Zexion smirked.

In the back of his mind, he was already considering what he'd have Demyx do next. He supposed the vagrant would do alright a personal jester – particularly if he didn't _tell_ him that was his role.

Without any thought as to whether or not Demyx would be offended, he found himself thinking aloud. “You should bathe while you have the opportunity.”

Instead of finding the suggestion hurtful, Demyx perked up at the chance. “So... should I stop for now?”

“You may. You'll find towels in the linen closet,” Zexion said. He supposed it would be worth the momentary silence to not have to launder everything in the room tomorrow.

“'Kay.” Demyx got up to set the guitar in its case. “Um, about clothes after...”

“The only article I have that will fit you is another robe,” Zexion told him. “Lexaeus keeps a spare wardrobe, but I suspect that will be just as problematic.”

“Yours is good,” Demyx grinned, and grabbed the slate blue robe before leaving the room to shower.

Both Zexion and Lexaeus could hear him start singing once the water was running. Rolling his eyes, Zexion got out of bed to revise some business figures while his personal musician was occupied. He could have resumed reading, he supposed, but he'd actually started to find it more compelling to continue with some added ambience.

It was a long shower, and would have been longer if Demyx had given in to the momentarily inclination to jerk off. Instead, though, he came back to the room merely having scrubbed his entire body until his skin flushed pink, and the smile on his face made it seem like he'd been given a great gift instead of just having been allowed to use the washroom.

“I'm done,” he announced, knocking belatedly on the door and closing it behind him. The robe was too small on him, but it was enough to keep him modest. Small mercies.

Zexion put his papers back into his desk drawer to go back to the bed. “Alright. You may proceed.”

“Still the soft stuff?” Demyx clarified, picking up his guitar again. “I have a ton of songs.”

“Whatever you like, as long as it isn't disruptive.”

“None of my songs are disruptive,” Demyx boasted. He took a seat on the bed and started a new song.

“Well, they wouldn't be, I suppose,” Zexion amended.

Assuming that was a comment on his talent, Demyx beamed. “Right?”

“You would do poorly as a street performer, were you too obnoxious,” Zexion expanded. Demyx frowned.

“ _And_ it's talent.”

Zexion skimmed down the page he'd left off on, but found himself curious enough to ask before he resumed reading. “How did you find yourself in such a situation, if I may ask?”

“It's pretty typical,” Demyx said. “Foster families didn't wanna keep me, dropped out of school, nowhere to go...”

“Hm. Orphan?”

“Ditched.”

“I see.”

“Think my mom might've been one of those prom girls you hear about, who toss their baby in a dumpster,” Demyx said, sounding quite chipper about the idea considering how grim it was.

“Abandoned very young, then,” Zexion commented, eyebrows high.

“Yup.”

“Hm.” Zexion looked back down at his book. “And you haven't tried to find legitimate work?”

“No one hires a guy who didn't make it through middle school,” Demyx snorted, and the song changed. “So I'm still trying for a record deal! I'm good at music.”

Zexion decided not to offer an opinion on that front.

“I mean, Xigbar keeps offering me work, but... I don't want to be a hooker,” Demyx went on.

“Mn. Yes, that is not a path I would advise anyone to take.”

“What about you?” Demyx inquired. “You sell drugs, right?”

“Unofficially.”

“What about officially?”

“A research partner at Hollow Bastion University.” That wasn't information Zexion often gave out, but he didn't see the harm. Demyx had no one to tell.

“Ooh...” Demyx sounded impressed. “Researching what?”

Zexion smirked. “Chemistry.”

“ _Oh_...!” Demyx laughed, the implications not passing him by for a change.

“It works well as a cover.”

“Guess it makes you a lot of money...”

“Oh, yes,” he confirmed.

“Pretty lucky,” Demyx murmured.

“I would hardly call it luck.”

Very simply, Demyx said, “You were born smart and pretty and someone wanted you, that's lucky.”

Affronted, Zexion argued, “Intelligence must be cultivated. All the natural gifts in the world could not have placed me where I am, thank you.”

“Whatever,” Demyx shrugged. “Everyone's got to thank luck a little bit, though.”

“I don't believe in it.”

“Then I guess I'm in a lot of trouble,” Demyx mused.

“You will be successful if you are very skilled in what you do, make connections, and find opportunity,” Zexion insisted.

Demyx's smile was surprisingly sardonic. “Sounds simple.”

“It's in simple terms, anyway.”

“Not how it works in the real world,” Demyx said.

Zexion rallied against the irritation threatening to nag at him. “I suppose you're the expert between us?”

“Well, I've been trying to get off the streets for like, nine years,” Demyx pointed out. “Isn't that easy.”

“I don't recall saying it was easy.”

“You implied it,” he countered.

“I merely outlined the most basic components.”

Demyx studied Zexion's face with an expression he wouldn't have thought to see him wear. Very abruptly, though, he replaced it with a grin. “Right. Guess I should do those things.”

With a sigh, Zexion set his book down. “Had you any practical skills, I may have been able to find something for you.”

“Yeah?” Demyx took a second to decide that he wasn't offended by the 'practical skills' comment, though he still would've argued that his abilities were _very_ useful. “Like what?”

Without a thought for tact, Zexion listed, “Mathematics, particularly, would be useful. Any basic domestic task... Even running, but I doubt very much you have the physical stamina or nerve for my business.”

“Who's bad at _running?_ ” Demyx mumbled.

“You misunderstand what I mean by 'running'.”

Demyx couldn't fathom what other definition might apply to the word, and looked all the more confused as he shrugged it off. “I could learn more stuff! Like I said, I definitely understand cleaning now!”

Eyebrow raised, Zexion did not voice his misgivings. He drummed his fingers on the cover of his book, running some quick calculations in his mind. Demyx gave him a second to think before trying to make a better case for himself.

“I like staying with you,” he said earnestly. “I'd figure it out – whatever you wanted me to do to pay you back. I'm not _dumb_.”

“You're willing to commit yourself fully to whatever I ask you to learn?” Zexion pounced. “And work only for room and board?”

Demyx, true to his nature, didn't see what could go wrong by agreeing. “... Yeah? Why not. I mean – maybe food, too?”

“That was implied.”

“Oh. Then, I guess so, yeah.”

The stirrings of a smirk showed on Zexion's face, pleased by the possibility of money saved. “Very well. I've been meaning to hire a housekeeper, anyway. I ask more of Lexaeus than should be expected of him as it is...” He surveyed Demyx. “If you agree, you will not tell anyone besides Lexaeus and myself a single thing you see or hear in my employment. In fact, you won't tell a soul that you work for me in the first place.”

Brightening, Demyx was too elated to think on any implications of Zexion's words. “ _Awesome!_ That's all I have to do, be a housekeeper?!”

The guitar was momentarily put aside as he practically tackled Zexion in a hug, kissing his cheek before any kind of reaction could be voiced. Zexion went rigid.

“Do _not_ touch me!”

He sounded panicked, for the first time, demeanor breaking. Demyx lurched back and sat there, his elation fading to confusion.

“Huh? I just -”

“How dare you-... th-the utter nerve-...!” Skittering back, Zexion ran the sleeve of his robe frantically against the slightly damp spot on his stark cheek.

“I didn't do anything bad, did I? It was just on the cheek...”

Zexion took deep breaths to compose himself, and when he spoke, he sounded cold. “Out.”

He stood before Demyx had time to comply.

“What...?” Demyx's eyes widened.

“Get out of my bed. Or do I have to have Lexaeus drag you out?”

The obvious revulsion was starting to sting. Demyx got up. “I – fine. What's your problem...”

Zexion shuddered as his brain recited a thorough list of the types of bacteria that could be in Demyx's mouth. He only cared that he went, ignoring Demyx's offence and muttering to himself as he yanked open the door, “Disgusting... thoughtless... ugh-...”

Real hurt took root and quickly became anger. Demyx packed up his guitar, and hastened to gather his clothes.

Crossing the flat at a pace that betrayed his anxiety, Zexion came to a stop in front of Lexaeus. He was frowning, having obviously picked up on the change in atmosphere in the apartment.

“Watch him,” Zexion instructed. “I do not want him entering my bedroom again tonight.”

Lexaeus nodded, not questioning.

“He shouldn't require force,” Zexion exhaled, still jumpy, “but I don't forbid it.”

“I see. Very well.”

Redressed in his ratty clothes, Demyx stalked out of Zexion's bedroom with his guitar on his back. His clothes felt grimy on his clean skin, and he felt that much worse for it.

Looking back, Zexion shot at him, “What are you doing?”

“You _told_ me to go!” Demyx marched towards the door. “I'm going!”

As far as Zexion was concerned, there was no good reason at all for Demyx to be so upset when he wasn't the wronged party. He was all the more irritable for it. “I didn't say you have to go back out on the street.”

“I don't wanna stay here anymore.” Demyx glared at him briefly. “You're _horrible_.”

“I offered you a safe, clean environment to take shelter, to be _fed_ , you ungrateful-...” Zexion huffed, forcing himself to turn away dismissively. “Do as you like.”

Demyx almost mimicked his huff, storming out of the apartment and shutting the door loudly behind him.

Lexaeus, as ever, was silent.

“... I would appreciate if you forget you saw this,” Zexion said quietly.

“... Of course.”

“You're dismissed, for tonight.” Zexion could at least trust that Demyx would be too cowardly to come back for the last word. Lexaeus got up from the couch, eyeing the door as though he wasn't so sure he wouldn't come back.

“Very well.”

Zexion did not return to his bedroom until the door was securely locked in Lexaeus's wake and he'd washed his face, scrubbing at his cheek until it glowed pink. He picked up his book to resume reading, intending to finish no more than a chapter or two until he was ready to sleep.

He wound up finishing the entire tome, and refused to think on his restlessness.


	18. Kairi, Riku, Roxas, Axel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter came so late in the day - we're having a hectic time, as we are now one month away from the delivery of our baby! As such, we're also going to take a week off and post chapter 19 the week after next, instead of next Monday. So, expect the update on June 25th!

Secrets were generally easy to keep, at the brothel. No one wanted to share much about themselves, their reasons for being there. The exceptions came about when someone needed a favor.

To convince Tifa to be on standby, Kairi had been coaxed into divulging everything that was going on with her friends. It had been worth telling the sorry tale, though, because just having someone close at hand to give her firm, encouraging nods kept her nerve up. She still didn't know exactly what she was going to say to Riku, but the emotions roiling around in her chest definitely had words in mind.

She made sure that neither of them had any appointments for the next hour, looked to Tifa one more time to reaffirm both her courage and her anger, and marched on over to Riku's door.

Drying his hair after one of many showers, Riku's brow furrowed and he compulsively checked his phone. No missed calls or messages. The knock on the door was a mystery to him, but he didn't make his visitor wait, for fear it was a client he just hadn't been told about.

Instead, he was met by Kairi, staring him down fiercely.

“Can I come in? Good,” she said, pushing past him.

Eyes reflexively wide, Riku slotted the puzzle pieces together and realized he should have known this was coming. He cursed under his breath, closing the door quietly.

Kairi's hands went to her hips. “We're talking, Riku. _Now_.”

“About Sora,” he surmised.

“Yeah, about Sora. Among other things.” Kairi glared. “What were you _thinking?_ ”

“It was between the two of us,” Riku started, unable to help going on the defensive.

“ _And_ he was drunk, _and_ you have a boyfriend.”

That took the wind out of his sails before he could even get going. Riku hid a flinch. “Roxas and I aren't like that, really -... But there wasn't an excuse for forgetting that he was...”

“No, there wasn't,” Kairi shot at him. “And it doesn't matter how open your relationship is, you know Sora can't be a part of that kind of dynamic. And he's going to feel guilty about his feelings for you as long as that label is there.”

Riku's eyes lifted. “He said he feels something for me?”

The look on Kairi's face plainly read 'Are you kidding?' “You think Sora goes around having casual sex?”

“ _No_ ,” Riku almost snapped at her. “I thought-... I don't know what I thought, he said that he-... But, after, he just seemed – Forget it. If this is just about Roxas, I'll break up with him, I don't think he'll even care.”

It was probably a long time coming. To Riku's bitter dismay, it seemed like they liked each other less and less with every day that passed. He felt so... unwanted, when they were together, and that was only marginally better than feeling unwanted while he was alone.

If there was even a _slim_ chance of being with Sora, as a friend or in any other capacity... He didn't mind leaving Roxas. Maybe they'd remain friends, if continuing to shoot up together qualified as friendship. Maybe they'd be better off.

But Kairi wasn't done.

“This is about _so_ much more than Roxas, though you'd probably do all four of you a lot of good by ending that,” she told him.

Riku barely resisted rolling his eyes. “'Four'? Who _else_ are we involving in my personal life?”

“I'm counting Axel, given the _obvious_ thing he and Roxas have for each other.”

“Roxas doesn't get 'things' for people,” Riku argued. “If Axel likes him, that's his issue, and I'm not stopping them from doing anything.”

“You're doing no good for them either, or you, and especially not Sora,” Kairi insisted.

“If Sora wants to be something -” Anything, anything at all, “ - I'll break it off with Roxas, alright?”

Kairi had lost her patience. “And when in all of this are you planning to tell him about your little 'hobby'?”

It didn't occur to him yet that she knew. “He accepts you for this, I'll just have to... talk this out, explain -”

“The drugs, Riku,” Kairi snapped. “Heroin.”

Every muscle in Riku's body coiled with tension. “... What?”

“Don't play dumb. How _could_ you?”

The color drained from Riku's face. He suddenly needed to lean against something. “... How did you find out?”

“It doesn't matter.”

“... Please,” he deflated. “Kairi, don't tell him, he can't know.”

“It's too late for that,” Kairi said. “And even if it wasn't, I'm keeping enough secrets for you.”

Everything felt cold.

Admittedly, Kairi was taking out some of the frustration she couldn't put on Namine when her eyes narrowed, when she almost yelled, “I can't believe you'd do that to yourself – to the people who love you.”

Riku sank further into the wall. “Like who?” he muttered.

“You know damn well who! He's going to blame himself for this and you know it!”

“He wasn't around when it started,” Riku said. His own voice felt distant. “Now it-... I can't just-... You don't _know_...”

No one knew, unless they'd been there. Roxas understood. The drugs provided a tightrope, thin and breakable but _present_ , while he tried to cross a chasm with no safety net. There was no sense of self without the heroin, no feasible way to get from the start of the day to the end of it, no support as the harsh expectations of his reality bore down on him.

But Roxas had betrayed him. There was only one way Sora could've found out through the grapevine, only one person who knew and could've let it slip to someone close to him.

“But you pushed him away from the real reason, rather than depending on him,” Kairi broke through his realization. “And now you depend on _this_.”

“You don't know-... And it isn't your business,” Riku said, shutting out the desperate clamoring in his head. He wanted to explain, wanted to ask for help, wanted to ask for forgiveness. He wanted to know if _Sora_ could forgive him for falling this far from the person he was supposed to be.

Who even was that person?

“You're right, it isn't my business,” Kairi scowled. “Or it wasn't until you involved Sora.”

“He won't be involved anymore,” Riku muttered.

“That's probably for the best, if you can really keep to that,” she said. “But I don't think you realize how bad you really hurt him.”

“Then I'll apologize and consider it over,” he replied evenly.

“If you think that's enough, you _really_ don't get it.”

Riku raised his head, composed now despite still being pale. “He'll get over it.”

“Have you _met_ Sora?” Kairi asked incredulously. “You know, Riku, you can run from the people stupid enough to help you all you want, but you'll never make this just your problem. Not now.”

“What are you looking for, from me?” Riku's eyes narrowed. “You're not happy with me just leaving Sora alone – do you expect me to get clean and walk away from all this to a nice, bright future?”

“I expect you to think about what Sora would want,” Kairi snapped.

“I barely know him anymore. I just know what he'd want while he's drunk.” Riku went to the door. “Get out, Kairi.”

She held her ground. “How dare you make excuses for the one decent thing you could do right now. How dare you pretend not to know, and not to _feel_. All you boys – all four of you – are exactly the same!”

“Goodbye, Kairi.”

“The two of you are never really going to leave each other alone. It might as well be destiny,” she scowled, heading for the door.

“If it were destiny, it wouldn't be this messed up to begin with.”

Unusually cutting, she retorted, “Well, you must be the expert.”

Riku didn't look at her, and was already closing the door. “Apologize to Sora, for me.”

The door shut, leaving Kairi no choice but to yell through it to get the last word. “He doesn't know about your job yet. But I'd wait a little bit before admitting any more big lies to him.”

On the other side of the door, Riku sank onto the bed and dropped his head into his hands.

Kairi turned to stomp back to her room, encountering Tifa partway down the hall.

“It didn't go well?” Tifa had heard enough to know the answer, mouth twisted in a sympathetic frown.

“I think he got the message. Don't think it'll fix anything,” Kairi answered darkly.

Tifa sighed. “Think a little muscle's needed? I could wail on him a bit, for you.”

She managed a little smile, despite her mood. “Thanks, but I think he's done enough damage to himself.”

Soothing, Tifa ran a hand over Kairi's hair. “Maybe just keep working at him. Boys are stubborn, but even _Riku_ has to see sense eventually.”

“I'm not the one he needs to hear it from,” Kairi said. The simple gesture was enough to relax her a little.

“He needs to hear it from Sora, huh.”

Kairi nodded. “But Sora'll go easy on him.”

“Hm,” Tifa pursed her lips. “Think _Sora_ could be persuaded to wail on him?”

“Worth a try.”

“So we just need to get those two crazy kids in a room and let them duke it out,” Tifa declared. “Sounds foolproof!”

Kairi laughed. “ _If_ that's what they end up doing.”

“So we'll also leave condoms. That could be foolproof, too.”

Kairi bit her lip to keep from laughing again. “Thanks... I feel a little better now.”

“Good,” Tifa said, gentler. “Try not to worry too much 'bout the boys. They'll sort things out, even if they need a step-by-step guide.”

“Boys always do,” Kairi sighed.

“ _Tell_ me about it.”

Kairi gave her an appreciative smile. “You've got your own boys to look after, right?”

“And they're just about as hopeless, yeah,” Tifa grinned. She squeezed Kairi's shoulder before they parted, Kairi on her way back to her room and Tifa going to check in on the others while she still had the time.

Riku's door remained closed all night.

 

* * *

 

Roxas stared down at the envelope in front of him.

His chest was tight, and the constant throb of craving was only getting worse the longer he looked at the unopened letter. He didn't know what he was waiting for, except for maybe Riku; whatever the results had to say, they'd surely be easier to take once he was high.

It took forever for the door to open, for Riku to come through and greet him with a toneless, “Hey.”

Roxas grunted in acknowledgement. He hadn't figured out what he wanted to say yet.

“We need to ta-...” Riku paused, looking down at the almost-bare table. “What's that?”

“Nothing,” Roxas said, snatching the envelope up.

“... Fine.” It didn't matter. Nothing could matter as much as what he needed to say. “I have to talk to you about something.”

“What is it?”

“What's with you and Axel?” he asked, direct and accusing.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. That was the last thing he'd expected Riku to seem upset about. “Didn't think you cared.”

“Apparently, you're close enough to let him know about _my_ drug habits.”

That made more sense. Roxas wasn't particularly shocked, now. “I didn't tell him anything. I was careless, he found out, and figured out the rest from there.”

Riku glared, eyes narrow. “Sora knows.”

“Guess you'll have to figure out what people who aren't liars do, then,” Roxas replied.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You were scared of him finding out all the things you lied to him about,” Roxas said. It was hard not to be a little satisfied, in a sick way. “Well, now he knows, and you're getting pissed at me for it. Take responsibility for once.”

“I could’ve told him eventually...! When we were ready, when he wasn't _just_ starting to forgive me, and now it's too late...” Riku grit his teeth bitterly. “I've lost him.”

“You were never going to tell him anything. He's just too fucking precious to you.” Roxas got up. “This is not my fault.”

“You don't know a goddamn thing about what I would've told him,” Riku glared. “You don't know Sora, I couldn't lie to him, I was going to tell him _everything_ once we were ready and I knew we'd at least be _friends_ after he knew! You've just been so desperate to fuck around with the bartender – why _is_ that, by the way? They haven't got money, and you can't convince me you _like_ the guy – you're the most cold-hearted prick I know.”

Stung, Roxas glowered back. “You have no idea what I'm like. All I've ever been to you is a fuck buddy you can shoot up with. But you, you're the most selfish person I've ever met. You don't want to lose someone? Here's a tip: don't leave them and don't pick up a drug habit. You've failed at both those things, so don't fucking blame me for your fucked up relationship.”

He never would have lashed out, normally. Riku shoved at him, sending Roxas stumbling back against the table. Stunned, Roxas snapped, “Get out.”

“Gladly,” Riku seethed, storming past him to the kitchen.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Getting my stuff,” Riku answered coldly. The cupboard banged open, and Roxas's stomach lurched with panic.

He was going for the stash. Roxas charged after him, seizing his wrist. “I paid for that, too.”

Riku shoved him back again with an elbow. “Barely any of it. Consider the full stash as paying me back for all the rest I've bought for you.”

Breathing faster, Roxas clutched at him. “You can't have all of it.”

The only way to drive him back was to push Roxas forcibly to the wall. Riku's heart hammered against his ears, anger alight but threat empty. “Touch me again, and I'll knock you out.”

He'd probably dented the cheap drywall, but Roxas couldn't give up the pursuit. “Riku, don't...” he groaned.

He was ignored. Riku took the packet from its flimsy hiding spot, going to stow it in his jacket. With mounting desperation, Roxas struck out and groped for the package, prepared to hit back when Riku rebuffed him.

“ _Fuck off_ ,” Riku snarled. He stumbled away from Roxas, all his focus on keeping his hold on the heroin and getting out of the house. Roxas pounced on him, trying to reach it, swinging at his head with the wild hope that he might hurt him badly enough to give in.

Somewhere in the struggle, the package tore and greyish powder sprayed across the floor.

“Good fucking job,” Roxas spat, pushing him.

Furious, Riku struck out in retaliation. “That was _my_ -... _Fuck!_ ”

His lip split, but Roxas didn't care. He squirmed away and started scooping the spilled powder into his hands, finally breaking up the fight. Riku kept what remained tightly clamped inside his jacket and marched over to the door, slamming it behind him.

Roxas didn't even try to stop him. He was hyperventilating, scraping heroin and dust into his palms. He dumped what he managed to salvage onto the tabletop, seeing barely enough for a single hit. Still, he needed that _now_ , and he only just barely had enough presence of mind to know he couldn't waste any snorting it.

With shaking hands, he tore the kitchen apart in his search for a needle. The one he found was older, dulled, but it was the first one he laid eyes on and that meant it would do. His vision had blurred, so he barely realized how much of the powder wound up on the floor when he brushed it off the table and into a spoon.

The process of melting it down and filling the syringe took too long, agonizingly so. The needle jammed through skin, tearing it, the syringe plunged in one too-hasty motion, and the tainted heroin didn't do anything for him fast enough. His head was still able to spin, his heart still able to beat sickeningly up in his throat.

Riku was gone. He'd taken the drugs, the money, the only consistency in Roxas's life. He was gone, and Roxas was free-falling through an uncertain and unforgiving despair.

 

* * *

 

He'd only arrived back home minutes ago. High-heeled boots were left by the door to defrost and a fire had been lit in the metal bin they used, very illegally, instead of springing for a space heater. Axel had managed to do those two things before dropping onto the couch to decompress, still in the clingy mini-dress and make-up he'd worn to work.

He wished he could just fall asleep, right here. Fire safety be damned, inevitable acne be fucked. Amidst the soft crackle of burning, Axel's groan of annoyance was barely audible, but one of the only other noises in their dark, still apartment.

Until someone knocked erratically on their door. Axel dragged his head up off the back of the couch, perplexed.

“... Comin'...”

Roxas shivered uncontrollably and tucked his fist back inside his threadbare coat. Blood had dried on the inside of his sleeve, his results – still waiting to be opened – crumpled in his pocket. The meager dose of heroin had taken the edge off his panic but not given him a proper high, motivating him to get out of the apartment and seek out Axel.

He didn't know what Axel would _do_ , didn't know how he could help a hopeless situation, but he just couldn't bear the thought of staying at home alone.

The door opened, and Axel stared down at him, a little blank-faced with surprise. “... Rox? What happened to you?”

“C-can I come in?” Roxas asked, arms wrapping around himself. He was a little unfocused, and so was relieved to find that he had the right place.

“Yeah... 'course...” Axel stepped aside. Dragging his feet, Roxas stumbled over himself to get his shoes off.

He looked rough.

“Are you drunk? Or high?” Axel guessed.

“High, yeah,” Roxas mumbled. “Not enough...”

“Think you're just fine.” Axel closed and locked the door, taking Roxas by the arm to bring him to the couch. “Forget the shoes.”

“'Kay...”

His walk was unsteady, his collapse onto the couch graceless. Axel bent over to inspect him, though he honestly wasn't sure what to do. He grabbed a blanket, to start, and draped it over him. “You're freezing.”

“Yeah,” Roxas confirmed, tugging it closed around his jacket. He exhaled in relief when Axel placed a warm hand on the back of his neck, tilting into the contact.

“Why are you here?” Axel inquired. “Not that I don't love the drop-by, even if you didn't bring the customary bottle of wine or homemade pastry...”

“Broke up with Riku, I think.”

Axel's eyes widened. “... Oh. Uh. Sorry.”

“Kinda got in a fight, 'n'case you couldn't tell.”

“I did figure that part out,” Axel said. He wasn't badly bruised or even visibly injured apart from his bloody lip, but Axel had been in enough brawls in his life to recognize someone who'd been in one.

“An' he took the whole stash with him...” Roxas's breathing started to pick up again. “Don't know what I'm gonna do...”

“Hey...” Axel hushed him, other hand briefly resting over Roxas's mouth. “Worry about it later. Once you're sober. One thing at a time.”

Roxas's eyes drifted to him, and he slowly managed a nod.

“So, step one. You're getting a bit warmer, right?”

“Yeah,” Roxas mumbled. “Thanks, that's good...”

“Step two... You know how I get around open wounds. Not that I plan on bleeding on you or anything, but we should get you cleaned up, anyway.”

“Yeah, okay,” Roxas agreed. With a groan, he leaned forward to work his jacket off, peeling the sleeve off his wounded arm. The blood had lightly glued the material to his skin as it dried, and it felt incredibly unpleasant coming off.

Axel hadn't realized there was more than one wound to attend to, but handled it well. “Can't do much to cover up the lip, but...”

He departed for the bathroom, leaving Roxas to stare into the small fire. His hands shook as he extended them, letting the warm glow sink shallowly into his skin.

“Here.” Axel came back after only a minute, carrying a bundle of first-aid items. The rip in Roxas's arm was ugly, small enough to tell Axel what it was from but bigger than it should've been. “That'll need to be disinfected.”

Distantly, Roxas reminded himself that it was a little late for that – he'd injected himself with whatever had been on the floor, in addition to the heroin. He didn't protest, though.

Axel gave a quick wipedown of the cheap, stained coffee table before putting the bandages and antiseptic down. Sitting beside Roxas, he carefully dampened a make-up removal cotton pad to dab cautiously at his arm. Roxas hardly even reacted to the sting.

“... No offence, but you're sexier sober. You're a little vacant right now. It's a shame, since the rugged, manly wounded-thing would be working for me, otherwise.”

Roxas almost managed a smile. “I know. Just had to go somewhere.”

“And you thought of me? I'm so charmed right now.”

“Don't want to crash alone...”

The cotton pad came away from Roxas's arm dark with flaky blood. “Can borrow my bed.”

“Thanks.” Still shivering, Roxas watched. His eyes slowly roved from Axel's hands to his face, striking features made bolder by the smoky eyeliner and rich lipstick. There was a nagging little pull from his gut, body reminding Roxas what he'd been conditioned to expect when he and Riku got high together.

Axel got up to throw out the soiled pads, and when he came back, he knelt in front of Roxas instead of taking his seat beside him again. “Alright, back to business,” he declared, coaxing Roxas's arm forward to bandage it.

The sight of Axel on his knees wasn't helping his predicament. His touch was so warm.

“All I can do, short of kissing it better,” Axel muttered as he finished with his arm. Roxas stilled to the best of his ability while Axel cleaned his split lip with a soaked napkin, hyper-focused on the sensation against his mouth and flexing his arm to test how it felt once Axel sat back.

“That's good...”

“You want anything?” Axel offered. “You're still freezing, I could get you something to drink...”

“Water,” Roxas answered. He reached for his jacket and the blanket again, not noticing that the envelope had slipped out of his pocket. Axel did, but didn't remark on it right away. He got up to get Roxas a glass.

Briefly, Roxas wondered if he should try to deal with the needs of his body, but didn't have the focus to hold onto that thought for long. He glanced at Axel as he sank onto the couch next to him again, glass of water held out to him. He accepted it with a trembling hand, starting to sip when Axel placed his own hand over Roxas's to steady it.

“What's with the letter?” Axel asked, once he'd hydrated a little.

“It's, uh...” Roxas needed a moment to even remember. “Results. My results.”

“Resu-... Oh.”

“Didn't look yet... I was about to, but...”

“But, enter Riku?”

“Yeah.”

They both looked down at the letter. Roxas picked it up.

“You should probably wait until you've sobered up,” Axel hesitated.

Roxas shook his head. “Can deal better if it's bad.”

He meant to slit the envelope with his finger, but basically just tore it in half. Axel watched with concealed tension as Roxas fumbled with the paper and flipped it open.

“... Well?” Axel prompted when he didn't say anything right away.

Roxas turned the paper to show Axel the results, a bit more relaxed than he was a moment ago. All tests: negative results. No diseases.

Axel let out a breath he hadn't been consciously holding. “Good. So that's a load off your mind, at least. Right?”

“Mhm.” Roxas let the paper drop beside him and leaned into the arm Axel generously draped around him, curling up into his warmth. They watched the fire, no expectation of words hanging over them, but Roxas still felt like he was waiting for something. The only heat his body was generating was between his legs, leaving no room to wonder what it was.

“... Want to move to my room?” Axel, after some time, muttered the suggestion. “No fire, but better blankets, and you could just crash.”

Roxas rather liked the idea of being in Axel's bed. “Okay...”

“One second while I put it out...” Axel unwrapped himself from around Roxas to douse the flames. He bent to inspect the dead embers, the hem of his dress riding up in the process. Like a moth to a flame, Roxas's eyes trained themselves on the exposed skin.

“Good enough, it's safe,” Axel declared, righting himself. He'd clean up the coffee table later. “You coming?”

“Hardly,” Roxas mumbled under his breath, and stumbled after Axel with the blanket still tightly clutched around him.

They were barely through the door before Axel twisted to unzip his dress, not thinking much of getting changed with Roxas present. Roxas sat down on the bed and groaned, equal parts in relief and frustration, which went completely over Axel's head.

“Want to borrow anything to wear? Promise I won't put you in a skirt,” Axel said.

“Yeah, sure...” Roxas's eyes didn't leave him.

The dress dropped, and Roxas swore. Axel wasn't wearing anything but a thong and thigh-highs, stooping to fold up the dress and put it aside. Hiding his body's eager response, Roxas collected the blanket in his lap.

Axel hastily threw on a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, glancing back at Roxas with dawning realization. “ _Probably_ should have warned you not to look at me.”

“God damn it, Axel...” Roxas sounded strained, and felt dizzier than before.

“...Just this once,” Axel determined, approaching the bed. He hadn't taken off the thigh-high nylons yet. “Only time I'll do this for you while you're high, got it?”

“Got it,” Roxas agreed. He barely knew what Axel was referring to – he just hoped it meant release. That did seem to be the aim, Axel mercifully starting to undress Roxas from the waist down.

“Mouth? Hands? I'd suggest a third option, but we _are_ limited, here.”

He was almost painfully hard, already. In any other state, Roxas might've been embarrassed. “I'm used to... with Riku...”

Deciding that was a request for 'mouth', Axel sank onto his knees and dragged his tongue over the head without preamble. “Mn... So I'm giving you positive reinforcement, right now. If only I weren't such a sucker for pretty blondes...”

“Nngh,” was all Roxas could manage, finally starting to feel warm as Axel stroked him.

There was a paranoid part of Axel that whispered in the back of his head, telling him that Roxas would never be satisfied with anything he did for him from this point on. Axel ignored it to a degree, deciding that the best way to counteract that was to be as efficient as possible.

He swallowed him right to the base, and Roxas was considerably less reserved in his reactions than usual. He fell back onto the bed, curling his hands in the blankets and shouting, “Fuck, fuck, Axel...!”

That was playing dirty. Axel pulled back, curling his tongue and letting it run over the shaft as he moved. He was still keeping things simple, brushing aside all temptations to tease and prolong, but it was impossible not to appreciate his partner a _little_.

“God...” Roxas hooked one leg over Axel's shoulder, eyes closed to make the room stop spinning. He was already close and bucking into his mouth, incapable of holding back. With a prickle of irritation, Axel held his hips down firmly and deep-throated him again.

He really didn't need anything more than that. Roxas pulled at Axel's hair and moaned his name, unable to give a more comprehensible warning.

Axel drew back and pumped him steadily, coaxing, “C'mon, Rox...”

For the first time that night, Roxas felt properly high. He curled up and shuddered through his climax, moaning breathlessly and spilling hot over Axel's hand.

“You're so fucking hot, when you come,” Axel observed, almost longingly.

Boneless with satisfaction, Roxas curled up on his side. “Mm... Ax...”

“I'll be right back. Got to clean up... and take my make-up off...” Axel got up, grabbing a tissue to wipe off his hand. Roxas thought he nodded in response, but couldn't remember seconds later whether or not he'd acknowledged his words at all.

He was asleep before Axel returned.


	19. Kairi, Namine, Axel, Sora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the (consistently happening) delay on this chapter! As some of you know from following our tumblr... we had a baby!
> 
> We'll try to keep updates regular, but newborns are pretty demanding. We'll do our best, and hope you're enjoying the story!

It was hard to see the beauty in the gentle pastels, even though they'd seemed so perfectly placed just yesterday. The difference sobriety made was stark, changing the imagery from emotive to hollow. Still, it was almost done, and Namine saw no reason to put off its completion.

She was staying sober for Axel and Sora's visit, knowing they shouldn't be very long now. Meticulous, she dragged the pale white-blue along the highlights of the impossible winding staircase she'd created.

Behind her, Kairi approached with a drink and a cloth to clean Namine's hands. She took a seat, watching her put finishing touches on the piece in such subtle ways.

It was abstract, bizarre, and enchanting. “It's beautiful,” Kairi praised softly.

It wasn't _right_ , but Namine smiled. “Thank you. Oh -” she turned and saw the cloth, accepting it to start cleaning up. “And thank you, again.”

“No problem. So does it go anywhere?” Kairi asked, referring to the staircase.

She didn't quite know the answer, herself. “With the other castle ones,” she replied vaguely, scrubbing her fingers clean. Surely it lead to a particular room, in her series of castle pieces... If she could think a little more broadly, she'd know...

“ _Oh_. It looks like a nice place,” Kairi grinned. “The kind Sora talks about going to.”

Smiling, Namine gave the piece another long look. “Maybe I'll show him, once it's perfected...”

“He'll love it, whenever you show it to him. He always asks about your art.”

Angling her body towards Kairi, Namine took the glass of water to sip. “I almost feel bad, trying to sell them. Some of them, I think only you and Sora really understand.”

“Maybe... but people can still find them beautiful without understanding,” Kairi reassured her, encouraging. “Maybe one day when you have your own gallery you can put all the castle pieces together.”

“I hope so,” Namine murmured.

Kairi hugged her. “You will,” she said, and was briefly quiet. “You ready for them?”

Namine nestled against her. “Mhm. My head is clear.”

“That's good. There's, um, some context you should probably know before you talk to Sora...” Kairi had neglected to catch her up on everything, not wanting to stress her out. It would inevitably come up once the boys arrived, and really, Kairi thought it'd be a good thing for them to hear Namine's perspective.

“About Riku?” Namine guessed.

“Yeah. They both did something pretty stupid... but as far as 'stupid' goes, Riku is way beyond Sora.”

“What did he do?”

“Well, first of all...” Kairi hesitated. “I didn't tell you this, but... he works for Xigbar, too.”

“Riku does-?” Namine's eyes widened, and she resisted her automatic urge to comment on how dangerous that could be.

“And Sora doesn't know. Riku made me promise not to tell him, but that's not the worst part.”

“It gets worse?” Namine bit her lip.

Kairi nodded. “He's also, um, an addict.”

She realized too late how she'd phrased that reveal. Namine managed not to wince, and out of respect to her promise to Roxas, didn't mention that she'd known that earlier.

“Oh...”

“... Yeah. The only reason he works for Xigbar is to pay for heroin,” Kairi lamented. Namine chewed her lip and wrung her hands.

“I see...”

Kairi's stomach twisted guiltily. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean -”

“It's okay.” Namine glanced down. “That is bad. Sora doesn't know any of this?”

She still felt bad, but went on. “He knows that part, but only because Axel told him. And he only found out after...”

“... Roxas?” Namine was able to guess.

“I think so. Axel will tell you for sure.”

Namine nodded. “... Is there anything else I should know?”

“They hooked up... kind of. Sora was drunk.”

“Oh, they _didn't_...” Namine sighed, shaking her head.

“They did,” Kairi frowned. “We already talked Sora's ear off about it, and I kind of lost it on Riku. They both say they won't see each other again, but...”

“They both want to,” Namine finished.

“Yeah...” Kairi trailed off, only to jump to her feet when someone knocked loudly on the door.

Sora had been consistently quieter since 'the incident', even the spikes of his hair seeming to hang lower as he lurked behind Axel. Dressed in more modest drag than usual, Axel's skirt went to his ankles and his eyeliner was less extreme than usual, which also managed to paint him in a more subdued light. He nodded to Kairi when she opened the door, lifting a take-out bag.

“We brought you an offering,” Axel greeted.

Kairi accepted it, standing aside to let them in. “Wow, thanks guys. Should we go into the kitchen, then?”

“If you haven't eaten, sure.” Axel stayed in the doorway, in the midst of the complex boot-removal process, while Sora went to weakly hug Kairi and Namine in turn.

“Not since the morning,” Kairi answered over her shoulder, putting the containers down on the kitchen table.

“You're both in dire need, then. Kitchen it is,” Axel decided.

Noting Sora's listlessness, Namine murmured by his ear, “Are you okay? You don't have as much energy as usual.”

Promptly, he had a smile on his face, and he nodded. “I'm okay. How are you...?”

“Surviving.” Namine's tone was light, and she smiled back. “I could definitely use something to eat, though. Thank you both.”

“No worries.” Noticing the canvas on the floor, Sora lit up. “Wow, Namine, did you draw this?”

“I just finished it. It isn't perfect, but... You like it?”

“It's great!” Sora knelt on the floor, fascinated. “I wish I could just jump into it.”

Namine was pleased. “You'd get tired, it's a pretty long staircase...”

Sora laughed. “You could draw me some water along the way?”

“I'll include a little water bottle.”

“You're the best.” Sora got back up to his feet. “But we should go eat.”

He tried not to note out loud that Namine was looking far too thin. Nodding her agreement, Namine went towards the kitchen to find Kairi dishing out portions of Chinese food onto plates. Axel leaned back in the chair he'd occupied, toying idly with the long necklace he was wearing.

Kairi gathered up utensils. “Sorry we don't have enough chairs...”

Namine was about to lean against the counter instead when Axel got up, holding the chair out for her. “I can do the chivalry thing,” Axel said. “Even dressed in, gonna be honest, a better dress than both of yours.”

“Thanks, I think,” Namine giggled, taking the seat.

“If I spent the kind of money you did on my clothes, this would be a fair fight,” Kairi claimed, then rolled her eyes at Sora when he went to Axel's side. “Sora, you sit.”

“That's because your priorities are skewed,” Axel said. “Heating bills? That's what _fire_ is for.”

Namine accepted utensils from Kairi. “Not all of us are as comfortable with that risk...”

“Maybe if you were risking your skin to control our fire,” Kairi said. She served herself last, piling noodles onto a disposable plate.

“If I could be in two places at once, you know I would.”

“For now I think I'll just keep my wardrobe simple,” Kairi replied. Sora foisted an extra helping of ginger chicken onto his plate with a sheepish grin, and Namine took tiny bites from her meal.

“Your loss,” Axel dismissed. He was glad to see his friends eating, but didn't have much of an appetite right then. He started playing with his food, instead.

“So, clothing aside... What's been new in both of your lives?” Namine sounded conversational, but she knew it was a loaded question. Axel promptly went quiet, and Sora became very interested in his food.

“ _Guys_ ,” Kairi prodded sternly.

“Axel, go first,” Sora squeaked.

“What? No.”

Namine gazed up at him, tilting her head in question. Axel had no defence prepared against that look.

“... It's Roxas,” he confessed with a heavy sigh.

“He's the same as Riku, right?” Kairi said quietly.

“He's a heroin addict, yeah.” Axel's stress started to show on his face. “He said he only really did it with Riku, like he might even quit if he wasn't with him... Wasn't honestly surprised to see _that_ wasn't sincere...”

Namine looked pensive. “And they've really split up?”

“What...?” Sora looked up, not having heard that part.

“Yeah. Rox made it sound like they're pretty fucking done.”

Suddenly more uncertain than before, Sora stared ahead without really seeing anything.

“... Sora...?” Namine tried to call his attention back, while Axel recalled too late that he'd forgotten to mention the break-up to Sora.

“I didn't know that...”

“That's not going to change things with Riku,” Kairi said.

“What are the 'things', with Riku?” Namine looked to Sora.

“Nothing! Not anymore...” Sora trailed off.

Needing a drink, Axel went to check the fridge and sighed when he found he'd have to settle for something non-alcoholic. Namine nodded slightly, not saying anything. She just took a small bite of chicken, watching Sora and waiting for him to confess.

He squirmed. “Really!”

“Alright. If you say there's nothing more to tell, I believe you,” Namine said.

Sora whined. He was helpless against Namine's manipulations. “Maybe I had just started _wanting_ there to be, but it doesn't matter now.”

“I see.”

“Damn straight it doesn't,” Axel muttered.

Sora winced. “I _said_ I won't see him again!”

“That would be fine if you didn't want to,” Kairi said.

“... I don't know what I want...”

“Well,” Namine began gently, “why don't you start by identifying what you _don't_ want?”

“... I don't want things to stay like this,” Sora said.

“So, that would mean you don't want to avoid him,” Namine interpreted.

“Not really... but I have to as long as he's doing, you know...”

Namine nodded, but didn't clarify what he should stop doing for fear of saying too much. “I probably shouldn't presume, but... Riku wouldn't have started if there wasn't a reason, and even if that reason has been resolved, addiction is... really difficult. Maybe he just needs help.”

“I don't think he wants help,” Kairi interjected sharply. “I think he wants to wallow in self-pity and convince himself he has to make things worse.”

Axel raised an eyebrow.

Eyes wide, Sora ventured, “Um... did you talk to him or something?”

“We don't know for sure what's going on in his head,” Namine glanced towards Kairi.

She clammed up, not having meant to give Sora the idea that she'd even seen Riku. “It sounds that way, I mean,” she backtracked, and stuffed her mouth full of noodles.

“But... why wouldn't anyone want help?” Sora asked.

Namine shook her head. “Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't... But I think anyone who loves someone would _want_ to get better, for them.”

Kairi's eyes flickered to her, catching the hint of passive-aggression in that, but didn't comment.

Axel crossed his arms. “Riku doesn't care about anything but shooting up and maintaining his pretty-boy hair. ...Sorry.”

Sora cringed again, and just spoke to Namine. “But I don't think Riku -”

He cut himself off. A vivid memory of _that_ night came back to him, but he had to be remembering wrong. It didn't make sense that Riku would've said he loved him.

Namine just gazed at him, taking another dainty bite.

“... What? Don't think Riku what?” Axel egged him to finish the thought.

“He might have said he still loves me...” Sora hesitated. “But I could also be remembering wrong...”

“What?” Axel's tone was flat.

“Interesting,” Namine murmured.

“He was probably just saying... He couldn't mean it,” Sora told himself.

“He wasn't drunk too, was he?” Kairi's brow furrowed.

“... Well, no...”

“I think you should at least ask him what he meant by that,” Namine suggested.

“So what if he does?” Axel asked coolly. “He blew his chance ages ago.”

“If he does, there's no way this is ending here,” Kairi said heavily. “He's prone to addiction, obviously... and self-harm.”

“I just want him to get better, even if it's not with me,” Sora said.

“I think Riku should know that, if he doesn't already,” Namine recommended. Sora just shrugged, unsure what more there was to say, but Namine continued. “And I don't think Axel should stop you, when he has problems of his own, with Roxas.”

“It's a _minor issue_ , not a problem,” Axel corrected. “We aren't even a thing.”

“But you want to be, especially now that he won't be with someone else,” Sora pounced on the chance to put some of the heat on Axel.

Axel rolled his eyes. “Okay, no. Wrong. I don't want to be with anyone, I like keeping my diseases to myself.”

“But you're being, like, excessively careful, _and_ Roxas is the only one who stayed this long after he found out,” Sora pointed out.

“And he has a crazy-dangerous drug habit. Lesson learned,” Axel said.

“How does Roxas feel?” Namine asked, expecting the very answer she got.

“... No clue,” he admitted. “He's not very _open_ , and we don't exactly chat about feelings, when we meet up.”

“He's got more than one dangerous habit from the sound of things. No offense, Axel, but he's already taking a risk with you.” Kairi's tone was a little more pointed than necessary.

“All the more reason why nothing'll happen. I figure I can be friends with him, right?” Axel looked between the girls.

“Of course,” Namine said, fussing with the hem of her dress.

“Even if he didn't keep his word about getting off of it, the fact that he said he'd even _try_ means he probably wants help,” Kairi thought aloud.

“I told him I could recommend a cheap rehab clinic, but -”

“Don't send him there,” Namine interrupted Axel, wringing her hands in the fabric more vigorously. “They... aren't very helpful, there...”

Kairi sighed softly.

“Did he say no?” Sora inquired.

“At the time, he was with Riku. Said he wasn't gonna quit while he was with him,” Axel shrugged.

“Have you brought it up with him since?” asked Kairi.

“I've only seen him once, since. And he was high.”

Kairi winced. “Oh...”

“On the plus side, he didn't have HIV, so Riku was probably clean,” Axel commented.

“I hope so,” Sora said, eyes going a bit round.

“It'd be wise to check anyway,” Namine said, careful not to look at Kairi, who had opened her mouth and closed it just as quickly.

“We've been to the clinic, test results come back soon,” Axel said.

Hating that she couldn't even properly reassure Sora, Kairi found the need to say _something_. “Chances are good, though, right? Since, if they ever had sex when they were high they probably wouldn't have thought to be safe about it.”

That made Sora feel even worse. “Yeah, probably...”

Softly, Namine said, “Try not to worry too much, but do be prepared...”

“I will...” Sora squirmed. “Anyway, if it does end up bad, I've got you guys to help...”

“Of course,” Namine nodded.

“You'd get to wear one of our club jackets,” Axel remarked. Sora couldn't help but smile a bit.

“So if Roxas isn't quitting, are you still going to keep doing... whatever this is for you?” Kairi asked Axel.

“The not-really-sex? Not if he's high.”

“Oh-...” Namine was surprised. “Do you not-...?”

“Are you kidding? I wouldn't risk it,” Axel answered.

Kairi was also taken off guard. “Not even with protection?”

Sora snorted. “He won't let Roxas touch him, period.”

“I did _once_ ,” Axel countered. “Hands-only, still with protection.”

Namine's eyebrows were raised. “But... studies have shown that it's safe with the proper precautions. And he's your type exactly.”

“I'm aware of my type,” Axel said, exasperated.

“See? It's not just me. Roxas is a pretty bad idea, too,” Sora crossed his arms.

Kairi kept to herself. She wanted to warn them of what to expect when dating someone who regularly used drugs, but not in front of Namine.

“There isn't going to be an in-between, Axel,” Namine sighed. “Roxas is the kind of boy you like. If you stay friends with him, especially if you fool around with him...”

“I can keep it platonic,” Axel claimed.

She just looked at him. Sora hid a snicker.

“... What? ... _What?_ ” Axel demanded.

“You know that you are the absolute worst for getting way too far into people you like?” Sora teased.

“'Worst' is an exa -”

“It is _not_ an exaggeration,” Namine interrupted.

“Sorry, Axel,” Kairi shrugged, making it clear whose side she was on.

“Oh, come on,” Axel protested, eyes narrow. “Name _one_ ti -”

“Saix,” Namine answered promptly.

“... Ouch.”

“You _know_ you got way too attached there,” Sora nodded.

“That was a special case. One-time thing,” he muttered.

“Axel.” Namine gave him a look.

He gave in. “Fine! I'll be careful!”

“You don't need to be careful – you _need_ to decide what you actually, truthfully, want from Roxas, and stick to that,” Kairi chimed in.

Axel groaned. “... Is 'his choice ass' an answer?”

“But you won't actually do that,” Sora reminded him.

“Exactly. So... I don't know.” Axel wiped any trace of poor humor off his face. “I can't have anything I want unless it's got a designer label and is physically incapable of contracting a disease, that's the rule.”

“But this isn't about having sex with him or not... It's whether you'll let this continue into what you _know_ it's going to be with his addiction or not,” Kairi said.

Axel sighed. “... I would. Will, I mean. Who am I to tell him how to live, I'm a dead man walking.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over the kitchen. None of them were used to hearing Axel acknowledge that without him joking about it. Kairi's gaze found Namine again, guilt worsening.

“... You can still offer to help, at least,” Sora tentatively said.

“I brought it up. If he's interested, I'll help, but... We're not involved, and we can't be, so I've got no say.”

A deeper depression fell over them. Sora's shoulders dropped, Namine keeping quiet.

Axel looked away and sighed. “Did I kill the mood? Sorry, but sometimes I have the right to be bitter.”

“Of course you do,” Kairi said softly.

“Whether I like Roxas or not, I'm not going to last that long, and I didn't get into this position by being careful. It'd be nice if he quit shooting up, but we're just _barely_ friends, and I'm only mostly a hypocrite.”

“... What if you outlive him?” Namine spoke at last. “He's living a dangerous lifestyle. If you outlived him, could you cope with that?”

Kairi's eyebrows leapt up, not having thought of that in any scenario. By the looks of things, Axel hadn't, either.

“... Fuck,” he sighed. “You make it sound like I'm in love with him...”

“Of course not,” Namine said. “But you could be, one day.”

Sora had no doubt that it would happen sooner rather than later, but wisely elected not to say that.

“I'll feel bad, but I'd live. Not _my_ decision,” Axel faltered.

Namine knew he'd think about it, anyway, so said nothing. Kairi nodded, subdued.

“I think this should be more about Sora, anyway,” Axel brought it back around to him. “He's the one who might be hooking up with the addict who's in love with him.”

“I haven't forgotten about him,” Kairi rounded on Sora.

“Hey!” Sora was indignant. “Why are you talking like Riku's problem is so much worse than Roxas's?”

“Because he might _like_ you,” Axel said.

“... I already made a mistake and we said we won't see each other again,” Sora argued.

“Yeah, okay. And if you're not going to miss him, I'm not going to pine over Rox.”

Namine almost smiled.

“So what? I already missed him,” Sora said.

“Except now, you know he _feels_ something, still,” Axel countered. “And that he's in trouble. You'll feel guilty.”

Sora twirled his fork on his emptied plate. “He wouldn't let me help him... He wouldn't even tell me.”

“No shit, who just _tells_ someone that? Only reason I knew was because I saw track marks,” Axel said.

“... I just hoped he'd reach out to me if he was in trouble,” Sora lowered his eyes.

“He's addicted and hasn't hurt himself with it yet. He doesn't think he's 'in trouble',” Kairi told him.

“In other words, your taste in guys leans towards 'stupid',” Axel commented.

Sora winced. “Maybe a little...”

“It's why I've never been offended that you haven't spontaneously fallen in love with me,” Axel continued.

“You both need to decide how you're going to approach them, because it seems pretty sure that you _will_ talk to them again,” Namine said.

Sora lowered his head. “I don't even know where to find him if he doesn't live with Roxas...”

“Roxas might know where he hangs out, and if any of us run into him, we could at least pass on a message,” Namine suggested delicately.

“That's really a good idea?” Kairi questioned.

“For Sora's peace of mind?” Namine looked to her.

“Maybe if I talked to him, then he'd at least know I want to help...” Sora pondered.

“If I see him, I'll let him know,” Axel reluctantly agreed. “I can't promise I won't shove my stiletto through his arm, since he likes that sort of thing...”

“Don't. We both messed up,” Sora implored him.

Axel grumbled, “Maybe, but this is still Riku's fault.”

“I don't know whose fault it is,” Sora sighed. “I just want to fix it.”

“... I think that's healthy,” Namine chimed in.

“I think it's your funeral,” Axel claimed. “Just don't do anything rash.”

Kairi felt like she might explode or scream with the desire to tell them about Riku and the whorehouse, but she stubbornly stamped it down. Namine shot her a sympathetic look while no one else was paying attention.

“I won't,” Sora vowed. “I'll be sober next time.”

“I didn't say 'drunk and rash',” Axel said. “Sobriety isn't as much of a guarantee as you think.”

“Fine, how 'bout I won't do anything you would do?” Sora managed to grin.

“Low blow.” Axel flipped him off. “And not confidence inspiring.”

“Just means I won't resort to violence _or_ make out with him,” Sora clarified innocently.

“If you have sex with him, I'm going to drag Namine away from whatever she happens to be doing to get _her_ to say 'I told you so'.”

“I'll try to be available,” she piped up.

“ _Hey_.”

Namine reached out to lightly pat Sora's hand. “When you do talk to Riku, though... be completely honest with him, and as open as you can be. Hopefully, that will be a lead for him to follow. No more secrets.”

“It's _Sora_. He's the worst liar, would it occur to you to try?” Axel snorted.

“But I'm not hiding anything from him,” Sora frowned.

“But you don't really know what you want yet, do you?” Namine asked.

“... No, not really...”

“So, be as open with him as you can. Whether you know, or not,” she said.

Sora sighed. “Okay...”

“It will work out,” Namine reassured him, though she knew she couldn't be sure of that. She didn't believe for a second that Xigbar would just let Riku off the hook.

Kairi was thinking along the same lines.

Comforted nonetheless, Sora gave her a little smile. “Thanks, Namine...”

She smiled back.

“... I still think you should just rebound,” Axel declared.

“That's not really the kind of thing I do,” Sora shrugged.

“So many of your problems would be solved, if you were.”

“Maybe,” Sora laughed, getting up from his chair. “Thanks a lot, guys...”

“We owe you another round of take-out,” Axel said.

“Save your money,” Namine admonished. She accepted a hug from Sora.

“I'm happy I got to see you anyway,” he said.

“We'll meet up more often,” she said.

“Really? That's great!” Sora grinned.

Axel tried not to be dubious. “That a promise?”

Namine nodded. “... Promise.”

“If it's a promise, I believe you,” Sora told her.

“Keep us in the loop,” Axel added. “We like hearing that you're both okay.”

A prickle of guilt nudged the back of Namine's brain, and she resolved that this would be a promise that she kept.


	20. Demyx, Xigbar; Riku, Kairi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains very uncomfortable heterosexual sex.
> 
> Sorry for the delay on this chapter - the next one will be up on Monday!

Demyx needed a few days to sulk in self-consciousness before he was ready to seek out company again, and he very decidedly wasn't going anywhere _near_ Zexion's fancy apartment building. Hanging out on the street corner by the inconspicuous whorehouse, Demyx played his guitar with a pout on his face. He replaced it with a second-long smile every time someone saw fit to toss him a quarter, but there was only one thing that would improve his mood. He waited, knowing it was a matter of time before Xigbar found out that he was in convenient reach.

A client eventually tipped Xigbar off to the presence of a busker loitering outside, and exactly as predicted, Xigbar took a short walk away from his desk to go see his visitor.

“ _Hey_ ,” Xigbar drawled, grin wide and lopsided. Demyx lowered the guitar, perking up properly.

Zexion had made him feel like scum, like something he'd been horrified to discover on the bottom of his shoe. It was hard to feel disgusting and unwanted when Xigbar looked at him like that – his interest was always unabashed and overt.

“Hey,” Demyx grinned. “Can I follow you home?”

“Not going home for a few hours yet, but you can keep me company in the office.”

“Cool.” Demyx started to pack up, not remotely innocent in asking, “Company, or _company?_ ”

“What do you think?” Xigbar leered.

That was exactly what Demyx wanted. “Cool,” he repeated brightly, closing up his guitar case and going to follow Xigbar back inside. The warmth of the building bolstered his mood all the more, and by the time they'd entered the private office, Demyx had a skip in his step.

Luxord wasn't present, today. He didn't always bother coming in to play doorman, his clientele too limited to warrant having him on-hand. Demyx had almost hoped he'd be present, liking the idea of lustful eyes heaping on the appreciation, but privacy was nice too.

“I was stupid for looking for more places to hang out,” he declared, unzipping his threadbare coat and letting Xigbar steer him around behind the desk. “I should just stay around here all the time.”

“Told ya',” Xigbar agreed. “Where'd you end up taking the cab, the other night?”

“Went to Zexion's.” Demyx threw the coat over towards the chair Luxord usually occupied. He was eager to take off his clothes.

Xigbar laughed, disbelieving. “You serious? As if. You don't have a hope in hell of getting past the big guy.”

“Huh? Oh, he's not the problem,” Demyx shook his head. “Zexion's a _jerk_.”

“You're sayin' that like it's news.”

“Was to _me_ ,” Demyx sulked. “I didn't think he was that bad.”

“No, he's legit a bad guy,” Xigbar commented, going for the fly of Demyx's jeans. “And that stick is shoved so far up his ass I'm surprised it hasn't come out the other end yet.”

Demyx frowned. “He just seemed... I don't know, mean. I only kissed his _cheek_ and he acted like I was a leper...”

Xigbar's visible eye widened. “Dude, you _didn't_.”

“... What?” Demyx blinked, not knowing how to interpret his expression.

“Holy _shit_ , and you're still alive,” Xigbar marveled. “You must be a pretty fast runner.”

Remembering the overreaction vividly, Demyx didn't think he'd been threatened at any point. “No, I left on my own. 'Cause he's a jerk and I didn't want to stay.”

Xigbar was flabbergasted. “That's fucked up. I've seen him sic Lex on people for way less.”

“... Did he sic him on _you?_ ”

“That _would_ be your first question.” Pointedly, Xigbar didn't answer. “Seriously, though, the guy hates being touched like no one I've ever seen. Some guy put a hand on his shoulder and got three fingers broken.”

“But-...” Demyx faltered, blinked, and lit up as the implications settled. “So he doesn't just think I'm a dirty homeless guy!”

“He probably thinks everyone's dirty if he can't spreadsheet every bath they've ever taken,” Xigbar snorted. “Comes from studyin' germs all the time.”

Demyx was relieved. For days, he'd felt small, depressed, _gross_... He hadn't been made to feel so low about his situation since he was a young teen, not yet talented enough to earn his meager meals and thus treated no better than a roach in someone's kitchen.

But it wasn't actually about _him_. Zexion was just _weird_.

Rather abruptly – at least, from Xigbar's point of view – the conversation was put to an end, and Demyx was inviting him to ravish his mouth. Never one to care for small talk when he could be getting off, Xigbar pulled at his clothing and bent him over the desk.

Demyx felt better already.

 

* * *

 

In a place designed to satisfy lewd-minded strangers at the expense of making Riku miserable, it was almost strange to consider boredom a torment. Time spent without a client was honestly a blessing, time that he could scrub his skin until he felt almost clean again.

But he didn't often have this _much_ time ahead of him, anymore. An hour and a half free to do...

To do...

Riku just didn't know. The only worthwhile pastime was heroin, and he didn't know how Xigbar would respond to finding out he'd shot up while on the clock. He wasn't particularly inclined to socialize – the only other people he knew were Hayner and Kairi, and interacting with either of them would be awkward at best.

He wondered if Hayner knew about the break up, yet.

Now that he didn't have Roxas to pay for or worry about, Riku supposed he could have tried to quit. Found a new way to pay for his heroin, accumulating allowance (otherwise known as familial bribe money) or seeking out another job, one that wouldn't hook him up with a dealer but still cover him when he needed to seek out Zexion. But... there were new possibilities opening up to him, and he couldn't just leave them alone.

If he could actually start independently saving up, maybe he could get enough to _go_. Leave his parents' house, maybe even escape the city. Not to mention, he was quite certain he was getting a better deal on his drugs through Xigbar than he would have buying on his own.

It didn't make the job any more pleasant, but doing it without a sense of urgent obligation made it a tiny bit more palatable.

Already showered, Riku started to settle on the bed with no real intention when someone knocked on his door. It was a tentative little noise, one he could've missed if not for the dead silence of the room. Lurching off the mattress, he crossed over to the door.

“Kairi?”

Her robe loose over her lavender teddy, Kairi stood taller than usual in her high heels but managed to come off as smaller due to the sheepish expression on her face. She put her hands up promptly, a gesture of peace. “It's not what you think.”

He hadn't done anything new to warrant more yelling, but didn't totally trust that she hadn't shown up at his door for round two anyway. “... What is it?”

With a sigh, Kairi looked over at a point somewhere past Riku’s shoulder. “I'm with a client right now, but he's offering to pay double for a threesome, and...” she tilted her head, embarrassed. “He asked for you, specifically...”

Riku had turned red the moment she'd said the word 'threesome', accurately guessing where the rest of her sentence led. “... Oh. And you're-... I mean, are you even okay with that?”

“I think we could both use the money,” she shrugged. “I can be professional if you can.”

Privately, she still hoped he'd say no. There was a definite chance he might, from the uncomfortable look on his face.

The pros of agreeing definitely outweighed the cons, though. Riku ran a hand awkwardly through his hair, taking a deep breath. “You're right about that.”

“It doesn't have to be weird. We're just doing our jobs,” Kairi said.

“Exactly.” Riku tried very hard not to think of Sora's face, if he ever knew what his ex-boyfriend and best friend were discussing.

On the same wavelength, Kairi impressed, “And we never, ever tell Sora this happened.”

“ _Agreed_ ,” Riku nodded gratefully, and turned to grab his phone. He'd need to inform Xigbar about what was going on, and the time it'd take to do so would hopefully allow him a moment to suppress the awkwardness.

“I'll head back first, then,” Kairi told him, slipping away from the door.

This was a good offer, she reminded herself. _Every_ financial bonus was fantastic, and really, Riku was doing her a huge favor by consenting to this. If it had to be any of Xigbar's men, Riku wasn't so bad, anyway – he wasn't _too_ into his work, the way some of the others were, and he wasn't unpleasant to look at regardless of her lack of attraction to men.

It was just the history that made it weird. If things weren't so complicated between Riku and Sora...

But this was the absolute worst time to think about that. She was on her way into her designated room, and let the robe she was wearing drop to the floor the moment she was inside.

“I've got good news for you, Daddy,” Kairi affected a purr. Her client was one of the dime a dozen creeps, sitting on the edge of the bed and wearing little more than a smirk.

“That's a good girl,” he praised, and held his arms out to her. Slinking into them, she let his hands roam and hitch up the hem of her teddy.

Riku didn't take long, knowing that he'd back out if he allowed himself any time to think. He ignored Yazoo giving one of his clients a thorough farewell in the hallway, crossing barefoot to Kairi's door and knocking lightly before opening it. He had a manufactured cocky grin and faked interest as he sized up the man on the bed, all his practice put to use to cover up for nerves.

He'd _never_ had a threesome before, in or out of the brothel. How did they even _work?_

“Hey... I hear you've got room for one more?”

“Absolutely. Shut the door.” The client buried his face in Kairi's breasts, leaving slow, open-mouthed kisses over them. Turning red, Kairi averted her eyes from Riku.

Professional. They could do this. They were both _professional._

Closing the door, Riku fought his own blush down and came to the bed. He initiated contact with the client first, settling beside him and drifting a hand up his arm. The client took that as an invitation, pulling back to catch Riku's jaw to kiss him firmly.

Yes – okay, he _could_ do this. Threesome or not, this was just another customer, and as always, this was about his needs. Not Riku's, not Kairi's.

... Ugh, actually, he kind of wished it was more equal between his two partners. It didn't sit well, the idea of treating Kairi as just... an extra body, or something.

Riku forcibly kept his mind from wandering any further in that direction. He concentrated on the client's kiss, letting him take the lead; he was never sure which customers wanted him to take charge and which wanted him to submit, but he was getting better at guessing. Kairi didn't stay idle, tugging the stranger's zipper down.

Grabbing Kairi's wrist, the client directed her hand away in the same moment that he broke the kiss. “Let's get you two naked first.”

“Gladly,” Riku lied, lips drifting along the client's jaw. Silently, he apologized to Kairi as he drew her over, slipping the thin straps of her teddy down.

He could have just undressed himself, but he figured they were supposed to interact. That did seem to be what the man wanted, as he settled back to watch them with his legs comfortably apart. Doing her best to seem eager, Kairi ignored the gazes on her to undress Riku in return.

“That's right... I knew you two would be hot together since the first time I had him,” the client praised.

Shit. They'd met?

Riku swore at himself and tried to place the client in his mind, but he was having definite trouble separating the guy from any of the other miscellaneous men he'd been with. Still, he could cover for it – he smirked, spoke as casually as though he considered the client a friend. “She is gorgeous, isn't she?”

He did mean that, at least. Women didn't do anything for him, but he could tell that Kairi was objectively beautiful. It still seemed weird to say, though, and he gave her arm a subtle squeeze in lieu of saying 'sorry'. She didn't respond either way, pressing her breasts together as she bent forward to lower Riku's jeans and underwear.

“She is. I bet you fuck her on the side.”

Kairi covered up her deep-seated discomfort with a playful giggle. “Stop it, you know that's against the rules.”

“That wouldn't stop me. I don't know how anyone could keep their hands off this...” The man reached forward, feeling up Kairi's thigh to her backside.

“I can't kiss and tell,” Riku said. He briefly hid his face by nuzzling her throat, needing a second to hold in a stunned grimace. Hearing himself be spoken of like that was one thing, but this was Kairi being demeaned and objectified. Whether they got along or not, it was kind of revolting.

His thumbs hooked on the sides of her panties to slip them down, and Riku vowed to at least try to make this comfortable if not pleasant.

The client's hand slipped under to palm at her vagina, and Kairi made a practiced cooing sound as she flicked her panties off the end of her shoe.

“Now I got to make sure you've at least tried her.” The man dipped his fingertips inside her, trying to get her wet. “She tastes like heaven...”

At least Riku'd had a few female clients, now – this guy wanted a show, sure, but it was definitely better that Riku had an idea of what to do now. “Willing to share?”

“Of course, if that's what my little slut would like...”

Kairi bit her lip coyly. As if it mattered what she wanted. “I do want it, Daddy.”

The man smirked. “Then bend over,” he ordered, directing her to put her hands down on the bed and stand on spread legs. The position made Kairi burn with embarrassment for Riku seeing it, but she complied – she knew this client had a thing about her legs in heels.

Meanwhile, Riku's thought process was just a litany of apologies on repeat. However awkward this was for him, he was positive it was worse for her. He stole a lusty kiss from their client before shifting to the floor, kneeling between Kairi's legs...

... And that was when he got a very unfortunate reminder that Sora would be _mortified_ to know about this.

Kairi had tensed without meaning to, and hoped it just came off as excited. Riku steeled himself, running his hands along her legs and leaning forward, head tilted to press his lips strangely innocently to her slit.

Likewise, Kairi's mind went to Sora. She felt like she'd broken his trust at the first contact, and she wished she hadn't thought of him at all. Desperately, she tried to get the image of him out of her head.

Thankfully – or, 'thankfully' – their client wasn't going to sit by. “As long as you're getting treated, let's put that hot mouth to use,” he groaned, finally freeing his cock from his pants and guiding it between Kairi's parted lips.

One good thing about Riku's current position was that no one could see him roll his eyes. He tried not to listen, made himself focus on what he was doing to prevent any more unwelcome Sora-centric mental images. His tongue methodically traced around her clit, delving inside in shallow strokes; it was what his other clients seemed to like and it was only right to try that with Kairi. Of course, she was concentrating on pleasing their client and hardly noticed Riku's technique, only the man's pleasure really counting towards anything.

He ran his hands through her hair, muttering, “Oh, you like that, huh?”

Kairi hummed enthusiastically. At least she didn't have to talk dirty, right now.

The phrase had sparked something in Riku's memory, though. He'd finally figured out when he'd been with this guy before, and remembered having to call him 'Daddy'. Inappropriately, Riku was struck by the manic urge to laugh.

Kairi felt the suppressed noise on Riku's lips and remembered with a guilty jolt that she should be reacting more. She moaned theatrically around the client's length.

“You're even prettier when you make those sounds, Princess.” The client eased her off and moved around her body, watching Riku. “Just like I told you, right?”

He slapped Kairi's ass with a ringing sound, and she turned her yelp into a mewl. Riku forced himself to pay attention again, kissing Kairi's thigh when her whole body twitched. “You always know what you're talking about, Daddy.”

He'd had practice keeping the sarcasm at bay, but god, was it difficult to manage right then. How had his life spiraled this far out of control?

“Your turn,” the man said. He grabbed Riku none-too-gently by the hair and directed him to his erection. “A lot of guys like this girly hair of yours?”

Fuck, he _hated_ having his hair pulled. Riku passed off a reflexive growl as a purr. “Gives you something to hold onto,” he replied, parting his lips and dragging them over the shaft. Kairi didn't move, but silently gave Riku her sympathy.

“Fuck yeah, I remember this mouth,” the client moaned as Riku swallowed him, and ran a hand down Kairi's body. He pushed three fingers roughly inside of her, and she was glad her face couldn't be seen as she grit her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut.

Men never knew how to use their fingers comfortably... Was that a universal thing, or did she just have really bad luck?

“ _Ngh_...”

Riku also sympathized. He recalled the lack of care this guy used and guessed he had no clue what he was doing with Kairi, either. He kind of hoped that he could bring their client off before he progressed things, and pretended to be into sucking his cock accordingly.

At least he was more confident giving head to another man than he was to Kairi... He swallowed him deeper, hoped he wasn't distracting him in such a way that made him even more careless, tongued every ridge and vein as he drew back.

Kairi was trying not to whimper in obvious discomfort as the client fingered her clumsily, her legs starting to tremble from maintaining her position. His other hand tangled up in Riku's hair, he pushed him off after a short while with a grunt.

“You're almost too good at that,” he said. “I still want to fuck her before we're done here.”

Taking that to mean she could stand up properly at last, Kairi licked her lips. “Where do you want me, Daddy?”

“On the bed, hands and knees.”

Riku sat back and watched with artificial desire. “Lucky her.”

“Don't worry, you're still get to have fun. Get on the bed in front of her.”

Forcing a smirk again, Riku did as instructed and found the expression came a little easier just because of how absurd this still felt. “Thanks, Daddy.”

“You'll take good care of him, won't you, Princess?” the client stroked her back.

“I'd love to,” Kairi said. She turned her face away from him and gave Riku an apologetic smile. He ran a hand through her hair to acknowledge it.

The client positioned himself on the bed behind Kairi and spanked her again. Riku struggled a little more to keep his annoyance under wraps, now that he was face to face with this guy – it was hard not to be offended every time the client slapped her, though. He knew _some_ people were into that, but he guessed that Kairi wasn't one of them.

Still looking up at Riku, Kairi expressed her opinion with a quick roll of her eyes before bending down into his lap. She moaned aloud for show when their client pushed into her with a content grunt, then muffled her next groan around Riku's cock.

It should have repulsed her – god knew it did when she performed this service for paying customers – but all she really felt was oncoming fatigue. The awkwardness was almost too overwhelming for Riku, however, and he briefly forgot to fake a sound of pleasure.

How was he supposed to feel anything but _strange_ , doing this...?

As he stroked Kairi's hair, he realized that he didn't actually have to enjoy this.

She was going through the motions of sucking him off and became aware early on that he wasn't into it. Riku actually felt kind of guilty that he couldn't seem to separate physical sensation from mental discomfort. He'd have to apologize to her afterwards for the insult, but in the meantime... He was supposed to be performing.

He lifted half-lidded eyes to watch their client, feigning the occasional moan in tandem with Kairi. Keeping up the act was tedious, and Riku had lost the hard-on he'd had to focus to achieve before their client noisily finished.

That was a little embarrassing, but for the better. Kairi shot Riku an imploring look, which he caught onto immediately. With a longer, breathier groan, Riku pretended to have hit his climax and hoped he wasn't overdoing the theatrics. He was only too happy to draw away. Likewise, Kairi made a show of swallowing nothing with a half-smile of relief.

“Fuck yeah, what a good girl,” the man praised, still palming her ass as he pulled back.

Withholding a grimace, Riku took a slow breath and bit his lip. “Fuck.”

“I sure missed you,” Kairi purred, making an exaggerated cooing sound and turning to run her fingertips along their client's thigh.

“I'll visit you sooner next time, Princess.”

“Let me know when you do, I'll make myself free,” Riku offered with a smirk.

God, he hoped that this guy didn't actually request this again. He didn't think he could handle it a second time.

The man seemed pleased, though. “I'll remember,” he said, and started to dress himself, getting his wallet from his discarded pants and taking out cash. He left a couple of bills on the bedside table, and Kairi got up to kiss him goodbye.

“See you soon, Daddy.”

Riku sent him a smirk on his way out. Then, the second the door shut, he pounced on the opportunity to cover up.

Finally, Kairi could show how unsteady on her feet she was. She wobbled on her way back towards the bed.

Riku noticed, once he had his briefs on. Reddened, he hastily grabbed her robe to give to her. “Uh, here, sit down, I'll help you with those...”

Kairi hastily wrapped herself up and dropped down onto the bed hard. “That'd be... great, yeah.”

Kneeling, Riku started undoing the thin straps of her high heels. “... Sorry-... That I didn't, uh-...”

The first one came off, and Kairi gasped in relief. “Didn't...? Oh!” She laughed dismissively. “Whatever, it's not like I did either.”

He was relieved she wasn't offended, and after a flash of wounded pride, he determined he shouldn't be either. “It's harder to fake an orgasm than it looks...”

“Is it?” Kairi did her best not to laugh.

“I'm not much of an actor.”

“Well, don't worry about it. It's not going to keep me up at night if I'm bad at blowjobs,” Kairi reassured him.

Riku surprised himself by snorting with laughter. Kairi grinned, the lingering tension to the atmosphere breaking. She was glad it wasn't _as_ awkward as it could be.

“Even though I'm sure my girlfriend will be devastated,” she added.

“Dunno how you'll ever make it up to her.” Riku grinned a little, putting aside the heels and grabbing his jeans.

Giggling, Kairi got to her feet to count the cash on the table. Her smile faded as she thumbed through the bills. “Ugh, I knew it.”

“Don't tell me...” Riku sighed.

“Yep. He definitely value-menu'd us.” Kairi fanned out the meager bills and held them up as evidence. He'd tipped much less than he would have for two prostitutes individually. Riku scowled.

“Asshole. You-... you should keep that, it's a decent tip for one.”

“You don't have to be a gentleman. We both earned it,” Kairi countered.

“I want you to have it.” Riku zipped up his jeans. “I still get paid for being here, you should keep the tip...”

Kairi smiled. “Thanks. ...And we can definitely just never acknowledge that this day ever happened.”

“Yeah, agreed.”

“Good, yeah.” Kairi paused. “But, we're... okay, I think.”

It felt like some weight had been taken off Riku's shoulders. He hadn't really realized how much it'd bothered him, having Kairi angry at him. “Good... Thanks.”

Kairi hesitated again, not knowing if this would be pushing it  before uncertainly asking, “So, you're not with Roxas anymore?”

“... No.” He wasn't sure how Kairi had heard that. “We fought, and... that was it.”

“I'm sorry. That's gotta be hard...”

“It was time to end it,” Riku shrugged, though he felt a pang in his chest. As much as he hated it, he _did_ miss him.

“Sounds like it was for the best,” Kairi said sympathetically. “You're free to work on yourself, try different things...”

“Yeah. It'll be better for both of us.”

“I hope it is. I mean it.”

“Thanks, Kairi...” Riku offered another smile. His thoughts strayed to Sora, and he was tempted to ask how he was, but he shut that down. The threesome had only _just_ happened, making that weirdness a little too fresh to make thinking of Soda anywhere near appropriate.

Kairi smiled back, then cleared her throat. “I should clean up before my next appointment...”

“Right – I need to prepare for mine.” Riku lingered for only another second. “I'll see you around.”

“Yeah... Have a good-... or, you know, decent day,” Kairi amended.

“Heh. You, too.” Riku went for the door, and left wondering if there was a way to avoid that particular client in the future. Kairi waited until he'd left before shaking her head and releasing a huge breath, leaning her head into one hand.

Nothing in her life was normal, anymore.


	21. Axel, Roxas

Over the past couple of weeks, Axel had been prone to fits of irritation and gloom. This may have had everything to do with the fact that it'd been that long since he'd seen Roxas. He hadn't exactly shot him down, before, but he'd spelled it out the last time they were together: he wouldn't mess around with him while he was high. With that in mind, it seemed evident that Roxas was done with him.

It made his visit all that much more unexpected. Axel's make-up still done from an earlier excursion, he was otherwise unprepared for company in a hoodie and ratty sweatpants, let alone company he wanted to impress. The book he was reading still in one hand, Axel opened the door with raised eyebrows.

“Ye-... Rox?”

Grinning, Roxas looked him up and down. “New look?”

Axel could've said the same, but was tactful enough not to. He was thinner, the circles under his eyes darker than ever. The truth was that Roxas wasn't wearing his current sobriety well, but he'd known not to be high before coming over.

He hadn't been high nearly as often as he wanted or needed to be, truthfully. Without Riku contributing to the stash, all of Roxas's money went to heroin, and that was very little. He'd started taking bigger risks than he ever would have considered before just to take hits where he could get them, and food had fallen to 'second priority'.

Which was what had brought him to Axel. He was flat broke and hadn't eaten in a while – so long he'd lost count.

“I think it works for me,” Axel replied. “Gorgeous, right?”

“Well, it's something.” Roxas was more relieved than he was letting on, having been worried he'd somehow forgotten what he looked like. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, 'course...” Axel was less casual than he was letting on, his surprise at seeing him not having faded. Coming inside, Roxas did everything he could not to show how badly he ached with hunger and weakness.

“So, how's, um...”

Axel closed the door behind him. “Work? Life? HIV?”

Roxas almost flinched. “All of the above, I guess.”

“Thriving, all around. Y'want a drink or something?”

As casually as he could manage, Roxas said, “If you're feeling real gentlemanly, you could make me dinner.”

Axel raised his eyebrows. “Want to peruse the menu? I can recommend the perfect vintage for every meal.”

Roxas shrugged. “Or, you know, take out.”

“We've got shit to reheat, that alright?” Axel started towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, whatever's fine.” _Anything_ to eat was more than fine. Roxas went to sit down, and took a moment to close his eyes while Axel was busy warming up fried rice. He tried to keep them closed only long enough for the room to stop spinning.

A couple of minutes later, Axel came to the living room with a plate and fork in hand. “Chopsticks were all tossed out. I hope you know how to use one of these, they can be tricky.”

“I'll figure it out.” Roxas took them both. “Or maybe I'll just make you feed it to me.”

“I'll set the mood music.”

Roxas rolled his eyes, and dug in. Once he started, he didn't seem to be willing to stop for anything, not even breath. Axel gave him a minute.

“... You've lost a lot of weight.”

Roxas waited until he'd swallowed to speak. “Not that much. S'only been a couple weeks.”

“That makes it a little _more_ jarring,” Axel pointed out.

Inwardly, he sighed, and put his fork down. “I'm just adjusting right now. Riku paid for a lot of my expenses before.”

“Expenses,” Axel repeated.

“ _Actual_ expenses, not just-... yeah...”

Axel leaned forward on the couch, running a hand through his hair. “I'd offer to help, but we're not doing so hot, either. I don't mind sharing take out, if that's worth anything.”

“Yeah, it means a lot, actually.” Roxas sighed. “I just have to try to earn more, and get used to portioning out my money...”

“... Or cut back,” Axel cautiously proposed. “Just an idea.”

“I can't right now.”

“What's different about right now?”

“This break up just fucked up everything. Everything I was used to having – which is still not a lot – is gone now. I have to constantly decide between eating and keeping my apartment, and my body still finds the energy to be horny half the time. I need the outlet, okay?” Roxas laughed bitterly. “Fuck, Axel, I can't even drink.”

Axel fought to keep his voice even, not sure what the proper response was. “That's tragic and all, but 'later' won't be a better time. You're only going to get worse.”

“You don't get what quitting would do to me right now.”

“Yeah, I don't,” Axel sighed. “... Forget I said anything.”

Quiet, Roxas returned to his plate. Axel picked up his book again after a moment of watching him eat, fighting with himself over how to feel and deciding that, when all was said and done, he was kind of stung.

“All you wanted?” he asked, getting up. Roxas looked perplexed.

“Expecting someone?” It sounded like Axel was kicking him out, and he couldn't think of another reason why he would.

“Figured I'd chill in my room. You can join me whenever, just thought I'd save you the awkwardness of walking out right after you're done eating.”

Uncomfortable, Roxas replied, “I thought I'd stay for a little bit. We don't have to do anything...”

Shrugging, Axel allowed a bit of his bitterness to creep into his tone. “I haven't seen you in weeks.”

“I've been busy. Just trying to get money.”

“I was half-convinced you were dead in a ditch. Also half-convinced you were high as a cloud and couldn't care less about stopping by for anything other than an orgasm.”

Roxas's shoulders rose and neglected to fall for a second, faltering. “I didn't think you'd want much to do with me after that...”

“Don't be stupid,” Axel retorted. “We're friends, right?”

“Yeah,” Roxas was privately relieved to hear him say so. “Hard to remember I still have those.”

Axel sighed. “... Man, you're lucky you're pretty. You can be fucking stupid.”

“That hurts, coming from the guy who lives with Sora.”

“Ouch.” Axel dropped the book back onto the couch.

Finishing off the fried rice quickly, Roxas set the plate aside. “I actually can't remember how people just hang out anymore.”

“Talk about shit? Make out? Braid each other's hair?”

“Two out of three sounds good.”

Sitting down, Axel put his feet up on the table. “I know, but it's fucking impossible to French braid and French kiss simultaneously, so I think we should try the talking-thing first.”

Roxas snickered. “Feels good to laugh about something, even your lame jokes.”

Axel would have argued that his jokes were not lame at all and were, in fact, the pinnacle of humor, but he decided not to contest it given Roxas's delicate state. “I'm considering quitting my day job to become a comedian.”

He rolled his eyes. “Least that's a career you could still wear drag for.”

“Yeah, but it'd be called a gimmick.”

“Stick with what you're good at.”

“What, blowing guys?” Axel guessed.

“I was going to say mixing drinks. Pervert.”

“Not like either of us is _wrong_ ,” he protested.

Roxas grinned. “Didn't know you had plans to make a career out of the first one.”

“Nah, no one could afford me.”

“I'm getting a good deal, then.”

“It's that aforementioned pretty face you've got.” Axel went to poke Roxas's cheek, which he dodged.

“So you're gonna start stroking my ego as well.”

“I think you threw the word 'stroking' in there deliberately,” Axel accused.

“I'm trying to get inside your mind, make you want to screw me without even knowing it.” Roxas waved his hands like he was casting some kind of 'magic'.

Axel feigned awe. “You sly master of the subliminal message.”

“Next you'll be naked and won't even know how you got there.”

“Then we should definitely take this to my room,” Axel decided.

Roxas purred. “So no hair braiding?”

“That can come after,” Axel grinned. Roxas sat up a little and drew him closer, wanting to kiss him, but Axel pulled back and tugged him to his feet. “My room,” he snickered. “If we start, we're not stopping.”

Roxas threw his hands up defensively. “Be decent for your roommate, then.”

“Damn right, I am _classy_.”

Still grinning, Roxas followed Axel to his room, thought a guilty nagging voice reminded him that this was all Axel expected him to want.

He'd do something to prove this wasn't just about sex. He really did want to be Axel's friend.

But, later, because the moment Axel shut the bedroom door, he nearly pinned Roxas to it. He was shocked still, not expecting Axel to move so fast.

“So,” Axel leaned in and nipped his jaw, “with you horny so much of the time... You been fantasizing about anything?”

“Mm... Spend a lot of time thinking about sexy redheads in leather,” Roxas replied.

Purring, Axel pressed closer. “Wish I'd known you were coming, I would've dressed for the occasion.”

“Maybe you should always have something on, just in case. Or nothing.”

“'Nothing' sounds easier,” Axel declared, unzipping his hoodie. Surprised but pleased, Roxas reached up to push the hoodie off his shoulders, moving slow in case Axel wanted to deny the touch.

He allowed it, though still threw in a quick warning of, “Nothing below the belt.” Then the hoodie was on the floor, and he was nipping and sucking a line up Roxas's jaw.

“Mm.” Roxas acknowledged him without argument, happy to take what he could. He started mapping every inch of his chest, and Axel relaxed.

He'd missed being touched. Not too hard, he bit down on Roxas's throat.

Arching off the door, Roxas hissed and let his nails dig shallowly into Axel's skin. He could certainly appreciate how much clearer this was while sober, at least. He guided Axel's jaw upwards – he didn't want him to stop what he was doing, but that was the unfortunate byproduct of wanting to kiss him more. Their lips met and Axel tugged at his clothes, kindling the heat between them.

Roxas was willing to oblige him so long as he didn't have to stop kissing him. He worked his jeans over his hips and then returned to feeling Axel up, a groan trapped between their lips when Axel promptly started to massage between his legs. Roxas wound his arms around him, leaving long, light scratches over his back.

Their kisses were relentless and the pressure from Axel's hand matched, barely drawing it away as he removed Roxas's boxers. He bucked and grinded against Axel's hand, demanding, not satisfied until he'd wrapped his warm palm around his cock.

He wished he could do more right then than cling and react, but Roxas would never be caught complaining – it was so good, the smooth strokes of Axel's hand and the way he sucked at his lower lip. He was being caught up completely in the heat, the closeness, the scent of him.

Axel's other hand found Roxas's and guided it, breaking the kiss. “Shirt, off.”

“Mn, yeah,” he agreed, and pulled it hastily over his head. It was tossed somewhere on the floor.

Roxas was no less attractive to him, but the weight he'd lost was even more obvious now. Axel dropped kisses over his chest, shifting slowly to his knees.

“Think blowjobs were mentioned...”

Something in Axel's eyes had made Roxas tense a little, but that passed and he exhaled. “God, Ax, how d'we keep doing this...?”

“Mn?” Axel kissed his hip, brushing closer.

Body and mind fought to have their needs met. “This – how it turns into this every time...”

Axel paused. “Want me to stop?”

“No, I-... Maybe...”

Unsure what to think, Axel drew back and got up, kissing him briefly instead. “... Alright.”

According to his body, making Axel stop had been the worst possible decision, and Roxas loathed himself for it. He was still hard and there was no way he was going to be given another chance with Axel for a while, now. Still, he confessed, “I don't know what we're doing...”

Axel shrugged. “I've never been sure. You're just... You're really hot, and I like you.”

“Everything new that comes up just makes it seem like a worse and worse idea,” Roxas sighed.

“Meaning?” Axel watched him carefully. “It's not like we're making this a romantic thing.”

“I know we're not, but we're still... friends.”

“Yeah.” Axel backed off of him a little more, like he was trying to give them a physical reminder of that.

“So we end up caring either way...”

“Not sure what you're getting at,” Axel balked.

“I don't really know either,” Roxas said. “But you were already worried about me after just a couple weeks... and what you said about me only coming over to do this...”

Axel felt a bit caught. “I just meant-... Shit, you could've been dead or something. Who wouldn't worry...”

“Yeah, I get it...”

“... Just don't read into that, okay?”

Roxas gave him a faint grin. “I won't.”

“Want your pants back?”

“Yeah, alright.”

Axel's eyes flickered down, and he smirked in rueful sympathy. “That won't be comfortable... At least I'm in sweatpants.” Grabbing Roxas's boxers, he passed them over.

“I guess these make me decent enough,” Roxas decided, pulling them on. He was really more self-conscious of his arms, than anything.

Picking up his hoodie, Axel slung it back on and gave the zipper a little tweak. “Since when are you ever decent?”

Roxas snickered. “Bed?”

“I thought we were avoiding fucking. Or, as close as we can get.”

“ _Sitting_ on the bed,” he clarified, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, self-control. Sure.” Axel went to sit. Roxas followed, pulling his legs up off the floor.

“Sorry, I made it awkward...”

“It's cool. Your boner is the one to suffer,” Axel replied, grinning. “... It'd be cool if you came over more.”

“I don't really have anywhere else to go but here and my depressing apartment.”

“All the more reason. Fuck your depressing apartment, here we've got fire.”

“Oh, that makes me feel safe.”

“Safe is boring,” Axel said.

“Coming from the guy who won't even let me take his pants off.”

“That's _different_ ,” Axel protested. “Fire is cool, sex leads to pregnancy and death. I don't want to be _with child_.”

“Don't make me punch you.” Roxas almost sighed. “It feels like we both have huge barriers in front of us, and still we're doing this, even though it's not what either of us want.”

A bit guarded, Axel asked, “What _do_ you want?”

“Nothing I can have.”

“... Guess we're in the same boat.”

“Not just sex, though...” Roxas said.

Axel sat up a little. “What?”

“Don't read into it, but you're holding back because you know we can't have sex.” Roxas glanced at him, distressingly shrewd. Axel didn't try to deny it.

“And I'm dying. Slowly, but that's happening.”

“Think I'm not?” Roxas countered. “Only difference is I've got a selection of things that'll kill me and I don't know which it's gonna be.”

“You've got a shot, you know,” Axel muttered. “There's help, if you want it.”

Roxas's smile was bitter. “Do I look like I can afford rehab? Even cheap rehab?”

“You don't need rehab to quit.”

“I need more than friendship and rainbows.” Roxas scratched idly at his arm. Axel's eyes flickered to his arm, and suddenly, he felt like an idiot.

“... You need Namine.”

Roxas turned his head, remembering the slight girl he'd discussed his addiction with. “... Namine? You mean Sora's friend? Kairi's...?”

“Yeah. She'd have advice.”

“I barely know her,” Roxas argued. He'd figured out she was an addict, too, but that was all he figured they had in common.

Axel shrugged. “You don't need to. She'll know you in five seconds flat if she doesn't already, it's a bit creepy.”

“I guess if you can get herehere, I'll talk to her,” Roxas hesitated, “but I don't see how it'll help.”

“She knows how hard quitting is.”

Roxas hadn't picked up on _that_ during their conversation, though it had been pretty brief. “So she's...?”

He meant to ask if she was clean, now, but Axel misinterpreted.

“Yeah. That's how she got HIV.”

Discomfort struck Roxas hard, leaving him quiet for a moment. “... I didn't know that.”

“... Ah. Shit.” Axel tensed. “I wasn't thinking, not cool to out people-... Fuck.”

“No one I can tell would know her. And I can pretend I don't know if you want,” Roxas offered.

Axel shrugged, and let out a breath, disappointed in himself. “She wouldn't hold it against me.”

“So she got it by... sharing with someone else?”

“They didn't have much in the way of money. Only way she could get her fix.”

Roxas tried not to squirm. That was a too-familiar scenario, as of late. “Ah...”

“... Sorry.”

“It's fine. I know how it happens.”

“... Want to make out again to dispel the awkwardness?” Axel suggested, half-serious.

Roxas managed to grin. “And here I thought I was finally going to cool off.”

“With me in the room? Unlikely.”

Brushing a hand through his hair, Roxas considered as though he hadn't already decided to leap on the offer. “I really hate being cold.”

Sitting up again, Axel pulled Roxas closer. “Lucky for you, I'm a walking furnace.”

“Why else would I keep you around?” Roxas didn't let him answer. He kissed Axel, feeling him mute his laugh before kissing back, and swung his legs across Axel's lap to get closer. Now that he was pressed against his warmth, Roxas realized how cold he'd been in just his boxers.

Axel was very obliging in helping him warm up. Hands ran up Roxas's arms, and in response to a pleased tug, he decided it was only practical to flip their positions and pin Roxas under him.

“ _Mn_.” Parting his legs a little, Roxas tilted his head to push more force into the kiss, letting him know that his lust had not diminished in the least. He was definitely warmer now that Axel was covering as much of his body as possible, hips dropping against him. Roxas's hands slid along his front, not remembering welcoming the hoodie back and wanting it gone again.

Breaking the kiss, Axel hovered just barely against his lips. “We're gonna get hard again...”

“That's a problem you deal with all the time.”

“Yeah, but I'm used to it.” Regardless, Axel took off the hoodie again.

“I can learn,” Roxas claimed, and started feeling over his chest. With a grin, Axel nipped his jaw.

“If you say so.”

Arms wound around him and Roxas pulled himself against his chest, almost hissing at the shock of warmth. Trailing open-mouthed kisses up his throat, Axel captured his lips again and buried one hand in blonde hair, stroking through it firmly. Roxas's gasp was cut off when they kissed, shivering when Axel's nails ran over his scalp and tightening his grip on him. He delved into Axel's mouth like he was trying to claim it, and in pressing enthusiastically closer, Axel wound up mostly-accidentally grinding against him.

Roxas didn't mind. He moved his hips up against Axel shamelessly. Forgetting how to breathe, Axel dismissed it as a priority completely, one hand sliding over Roxas's side and catching on his boxers.

He was honestly happy not to push things any farther – Axel made no move to remove them, and Roxas arched into his hand without expectation. As frustrating as it was to tease themselves, neither one really minded so long as there was contact.

Tugging Roxas's hair lightly, Axel eventually broke their hungry kiss to breathe deeply. Roxas's head tilted back with the pull, resting against the mattress.

“God...”

“Sure you don't wanna come?” Axel asked, voice rough and breathless. Hearing him like that made Roxas blush that much more.

“I _really_ want to... but not like this... not right now...”

Axel stole a light kiss. “Want to stop?”

“... Probably should before I do something really embarrassing.” Roxas hadn't stained his boxers since he was still having wet dreams at fourteen, and he had _no_ intention of recreating that part of his youth.

“Fuck, don't tempt me,” Axel looked wicked. “I'd love to see you embarrass yourself.”

Roxas gave his shoulder a light shove. Laughing, Axel sat up and gave him one last stroke of his hand over his clothed cock.

Inhaling sharply, Roxas shot upright and shouldered him hard. “Oh, _fuck_ you.”

Completely unapologetic, Axel laughed harder. Roxas wiped the smirk off his face with a hard, brief kiss, and the snickers became a low groan.

“Damn,” Axel feigned a frown at the smug look on Roxas's face. “Fuck you.”

The two of them started gathering clothes to put back on, wincing a little from the uncomfortable circumstances they'd been left in. Deciding he was still a little too worked up for pants, Roxas set them on the bed beside him and put his shirt back on.

Zipping his hoodie right up, Axel fell back against the mattress. “Let's see... Larxene. Naked Larxene, twirling knives...”

“Larxene?” Roxas raised an eyebrow.

“Most terrifying woman I've ever known,” Axel explained. “Nothing calms a boner like Larxene-thoughts.”

“Wish I had a go-to like that.”

“You're doomed as long as I'm in the room, anyway. I'm just too damned sexy,” Axel said. “It's a curse.”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “You're a bit of a mess _now_.”

“A hot mess.”

“Not arguing that one.”

Axel turned onto his side, spotting the evidence of his smeared make-up. “... You look _very_ pretty right now, by the way.”

Roxas wasn't aware that lipstick had rubbed off on him. “... Why, what...?”

“Mirror,” Axel snickered and pointed it out. Roxas got up to look.

“I don't know what you mean,” he claimed, grinning.

“You're rekindling my lust.”

“So this is the look you're into?”

“I'm into your look, in general.”

Roxas did nothing to clean up the dark red smudges and returned to the bed. “I don't know if gagging you to shut you up would make it any easier to deal with this.”

Axel groaned again. “The boner was _almost_ gone, don't bring up kinky stuff...”

“My bad.” Roxas took a long intake of breath. “Okay, should get out of this room or we'll just go at it again.”

“That'd be best,” Axel agreed, hauling himself up. “Should you still be in boxers?”

Roxas didn't even pause on his way to the door. “Will Sora faint if he sees me?”

“He's very impressionable. He might squeak and cover his eyes.”

“I'd hate to give him ideas, but I'd need a cold shower to put these back on any time soon,” Roxas said, opening the door.

“He'll deal, then.” Axel walked out of the room and slapped Roxas's ass on the way by. He narrowed his eyes at Axel's back.

“Dirty tease...”

Axel blew him a kiss. “Want a beer?”

“Ugh, can't. Even that's too alcoholic for me.”

“Shit, really?” Crossing to the kitchen, Axel grabbed a glass from the cupboard pre-emptively. “Want water, then?”

“If that's what my life's become, sure.”

“I can add a spoonful of sugar and you can pretend it's shitty iced tea.”

“I'll take it straight.” Roxas leaned in the kitchen doorway.

“Ironic.”

“Ha-ha,” Roxas's tone was dry. He accepted the glass of water, taking a sip while Axel grabbed himself a beer. Opening the can, he took a swig and sidled back into the living room.

“Wish we had a TV,” he lamented. “I don't have much to entertain.”

“You could always do an exotic dance for me,” Roxas suggested. He crashed on the couch and was about to put his feet up on the table, but observed in time that it was set up for Axel's long legs, not his own. He kept his feet on the floor and saved himself the embarrassment.

“How would that help us avoid sex?” Axel sounded skeptical.

“Because there's a look-don't-touch rule in effect.”

“I don't have _that_ much self-restraint.”

“How 'bout I slap you and run out of here crying if that happens?”

Axel raised a teasing eyebrow. “If you slapped me, you'd mount me and hit me again.”

“... Fine, I would,” Roxas amended, “but you said no talking about kinky stuff.”

“Exotic dancing is off the table.”

Figuring out an alternative to stretching his legs out to the table, Roxas put his feet up on the couch to take up the entirety of it instead. “I'm not taking stand-up in its place.”

“C'mon, you'd laugh eventually.” Axel took another swig of his beer.

“I'll be grieving over my lack of exotic dancing. That's very serious.”

“Time will heal,” Axel said gravely. “Probably more slowly, if I tell you that I started out stripping at the club.”

His free hand pressed against his forehead. “Oh, come on.”

“Was good at it, too,” Axel went on, nonchalant. “But it was a little jarring for the guys when they realized the chick they were waving ones at has a dick.”

“I'm sure they got over it. Now you _have_ to show me,” Roxas demanded.

“Maybe later,” Axel grinned.

“I'll hold you to that. Figuratively,” Roxas added, before Axel could turn that into the obvious innuendo.

“Deal,” Axel agreed.

“I'll make it even,” Roxas said, thinking himself quite generous. “Give you some masturbation material in return, but no dancing.”

“ _Really_ ,” Axel purred. “Can I get a preview?”

“Not out here, you can't.”

“Damn. Thinking about Larxene again...” Axel went to drop onto the couch. Roxas barely drew his legs up in time, narrowly avoiding getting them crushed.

“Hey!”

“Maybe I was aiming for your lap.”

“You missed,” Roxas said flatly.

“I was never very coordinated. I skipped a lot of gym classes.”

“Explains why you're such a twig.”

“Nah, that's just natural.”

Roxas poked his ribs. “That so.”

Axel snatched at his hand. “I was born with my girlish figure and stunning good looks.”

“I had a running theory you traded your soul for that.”

Grin appropriately devilish, Axel claimed, “I just made the trade early.”

“Smart.” Roxas stretched out again, legs draping over Axel.

“I should've held off. Made it a larger deal.” Axel took a good, long drink. “My soul was worth good looks _and_ wealth.”

“Kids just don't have the priorities.”

“If only I'd known,” Axel lamented. Talk of money made him think, though. “... So, what is it you even do?”

Roxas had let his head roll back on the couch, and he blinked at the ceiling. “Do?” he repeated.

“For work.”

“Oh.” He hesitated. “Nothing, really. Just pick up odd jobs.”

Axel raised his eyebrows. “Shit, no wonder you're having hard times.”

“Not really likely to hold a job as I am,” Roxas shrugged. “Just have to learn to pick up more work now that I'm cut off.”

“... You regret it? Not being with Riku, I mean.”

“Not the way things were going. All we ever did was use each other, anyway.”

Axel relaxed a little. “... Hm...”

“Just sucks that he could get away and still have everything he needs,” Roxas groused.

“Not _everything_ ,” Axel murmured.

“Mm?”

“Nothin'.” Axel stretched a bit. “I know you said you can't afford rehab, but, I'd chip in for that. Not like I have anything to invest my savings in.”

Lifting his head, Roxas gave him a look. “Well, gee, when you put it like that.”

“I'm a charitable saint.”

“I can't accept that... You said things were hard on you guys, too.”

“I could pull a few extra shifts. This is some serious shit, Rox, you need some help.”

Roxas pulled away to sit up. “Why should it be you helping me?”

Axel's tone was serious. “Because as badly as I want to ride your ass until the sun sets, I don't want you to get hurt. Either by me, or by drugs.”

His grin faded. “... 'Get hurt'...”

“You know what I mean.”

“Of course I know. You _can_ say it.”

“No shit I can. I'm at liberty more than most people.”

Roxas sighed. “You shouldn't be giving me money...”

“... Just, keep it in mind,” Axel implored.

“I know. Maybe I'll start saving.”

“Yeah. If you can.”

“Once I start eating again,” Roxas smiled faintly.

“Yeah, do that first,” Axel agreed.

“I don't want to keep doing this, Ax, believe me. Just now isn't the best time to quit.” Roxas scratched his arm again. “It could kill me...”

“So could sharing needles and shooting up with laced shit.”

“I _know_ that. I'm being as careful as I can,” he stressed.

“Right, fine... Your business.” Axel finished his beer.

Sensing how close his frustration was to making him snap, Roxas reluctantly said, “Maybe I should go...”

“No – You don't have to,” Axel sat up a bit. “I want you here. Awkward topics be damned.”

Relaxing slightly, Roxas leaned back into the couch. “... Okay...”

“I'm just... concerned, I guess.”

“I know, and why wouldn't you be...”

“Maybe I'm an unfeeling dick?”

Roxas's arousal had died down enough for him to put his pants back on, and he struggled to do so without moving much. “It's too late to make a claim like that. I already know you.”

“That's right, I'm _sensitive_. The kind of girl you take home to meet your mother.”

“Maybe if you _were,_ my mother would like to meet you.”

“Not too close with your parents?” Axel guessed.

Roxas snorted. “If I died, they'd find an excuse to skip the funeral.”

“They sound positively sweet.”

“How 'bout yours?” The struggle with his pants had been the nail in the coffin of his fatigue, and Roxas settled into the couch with newfound tiredness.

“Not sure about my mother, and my father hasn't tried to contact me for years. I've been pretty much disowned.”

“Charming,” Roxas muttered. “What did you in?”

“The leather skirts and eyeshadow, I think.”

“That'll do it.” Roxas leaned into him.

“I still don't get it, personally. What, he doesn't think I pull them off? Maybe it's my fashion sense,” Axel mock-frowned.

“I'm sure he just wants you to dress more conservatively. You know, skirts over the knees.” Roxas closed his eyes.

“Maybe a nice button-up blouse.” Seeing Roxas sinking into exhaustion, Axel ran a hand through his hair. Roxas made a sound like a purr.

“And your hair hides your pretty face...”

Axel continued carding fingers through his hair, smirking. “No wonder daddy wasn't proud.”

“Who's gonna make 'n honest woman of you now?”

“That thought keeps me up at night.” Fondly, Axel toyed with his hair. “... You can crash here if you want.”

“That'd be cool... for a bit...” Roxas rested more weight on him. “Mm, that feels good.”

Axel was scratching his scalp gently. “M'good with my hands.”

“But better with y'r mouth, right?”

He smirked. “You'd be a better judge of that.”

“No complaints here,” Roxas mumbled, nuzzling him sleepily. His breathing slowed as he drifted off, lulled easily by physical fatigue and Axel's warmth.

Axel watched him, continuing even after he'd dropped off into unconsciousness.


	22. Riku, Ansem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but adding any other scenes felt out of place, so hopefully you enjoy what there is!

The best way to earn his keep – thereby raking in more money and more heroin – and avoid future threesomes was to hook a steady, well-off client. Kadaj had given Riku a variation of that advice when he'd just started, and he'd kept it in the back of his mind until it seemed like a good time to ask Xigbar for a favor.

Now he was sending up someone who might fit that bill, and Riku was on edge. Unwillingly, there was a streak in him that was eager to prove himself without the money even entering as a factor, show this client that he was good enough to see on a regular basis – not just good enough, but _better_ than the others.

He didn't know what kind of person he was expecting at his door.

There was a single, sharp knock, and Riku leapt to get it, trying to leave any and all preconceptions behind. It was just as well, because the man on the other side was nothing like he could have expected.

Dark skin, silver hair, and bright eyes. The man stood at an imposing height, was broad across the shoulder, and unmistakably handsome. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or confused, but Riku was _definitely_ surprised, and found himself momentarily frozen.

Ansem removed his gloves as he assessed Riku, cold and unfaltering. He'd had doubts about Xigbar's stock but was intrigued enough by Riku's description to come give him a trial. It was pleasing to find that the whoremonger hadn't exaggerated.

“... Hm. Suitable.”

The sound of Ansem's voice snapped Riku out of it, sort of. He opened the door wider. “Sorry-... Come in, I meant to... do that, already...”

Inwardly, Riku smacked himself. He had no idea what was tripping him up. Ansem was better-looking than he'd anticipated, it was true, but if he was honest with himself, he didn't really fit Riku's type. It wasn't his handsomeness throwing him off.

He'd noticed the falter, but Ansem didn't comment on it. He strode over to the bed and took a seat, wasting no time in ordering, “Strip.”

A reflexive tinge rose to Riku's cheeks, and he could have kicked himself for that too. Quick and smooth, he removed his shirt.

Ansem frowned faintly. He'd prepared himself for a certain level of confidence, and Riku had yet to display it. That changed, however, when Riku managed to get a hold of himself; somehow, it was easier to hold his head up high when he was removing his jeans, and he jut his chin slightly towards Ansem.

“Guessing you're more interested in having it all off than a show,” Riku surmised.

Ansem smirked. “For now.”

There it was. There was something in that smirk that slotted the puzzle pieces into place, with a few pieces still infuriatingly missing. Riku could tell now without a doubt, though, that _something_ about Ansem intimidated the hell out of him.

Well, he wasn't going to let that get the better of him. The jeans dropped, and Riku wore nothing. Ansem's eyes followed every line of his body, and he got up to circle him.

This was much better. The confidence was back on Riku's face – he didn't have much modesty to begin with, and he was taking the opportunity to investigate Ansem in turn. He forced himself not to look around and follow Ansem as he prowled.

Ghosting his fingers over certain muscles, Ansem eventually came to a stop in front of him. He tilted Riku's chin with a stiff gentleness that came across as forced. Riku let him, his eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly.

Ansem smirked again. “Good,” he said, and pulled away. “How long have you been here?”

“... A few weeks. Less.” Riku watched him closely.

With a nod, Ansem asked, “Why are you here?”

“Why do you want to know that?” Riku responded, accidentally sharp.

“If you are to be mine, I have to know you... Your body, your mind, and your heart...”

A little chill went down Riku's back, reminded of his impression that Ansem was not to be trifled with. “... I just... need the money.”

“I see...” Ansem's stare grew harder, making Riku feel like he was being looked right through. “Elaborate.”

Riku made himself meet Ansem's eyes without wavering. A bit darkly, he confessed, “I need the money for heroin.”

It wasn't as if Xigbar would've let a cop in here. Riku had no good reason to lie.

“Good.” Ansem's smirk returned, and he stroked a hand over Riku's hair. “You'll find that I am not a man to be lied to.”

Those simple touches were becoming unnerving, and despite the knee-jerk urge to tense up, Riku found it easier than expected to force himself not to mind them. “... Are you actually going to -”

“You will not question me,” Ansem told him, speaking sharply for the first time. He'd determined that he was at least pleased with Riku physically, and guided him back towards the bed.

Silenced, Riku sank onto the side of the bed as prompted.

“What do you dream of?” Ansem questioned.

Riku lifted his head. He didn't understand why he was being asked that, but answered bluntly. “Being stronger.”

Ansem's expression betrayed nothing, despite how he _liked_ that answer. “And what does a whore have to be strong for?”

He didn't think, eyes becoming narrow. Riku hated that word. “... Why wouldn't I be. The only way to get anywhere is with strength, and I want to go places.”

“Tell me,” Ansem pressed. Riku grit his teeth a little.

“... To get away, to prove-...”

Ansem arched one expectant eyebrow.

“... To prove that I'm better than all this shit and that it can't hold me back.”

“... Perfect.” Ansem sat down on the bed as well, and guided Riku to sit between his legs. Quietly, Riku was all the more unsettled, not sure what Ansem was trying to do or why he was trying to get into his head. Worse, he didn't know whether or not it was working.

He just moved as directed, expression composed as Ansem slid one hand up his chest. The other fondled its way down between Riku's legs.

“Do you fantasize about it? Success? Power?”

Riku inhaled audibly. “... Yeah...”

One thing was certain: the idea of lying to Ansem made him wary.

“What would you do for it?”

He was sure he knew what Ansem wanted to hear, but only said it because he wasn't sure whether or not it was untrue. “Anything.”

“A careless statement.” Stroking him, Ansem bit down on his neck.

“Ngh -”

“You have ambition, I grant you... Far too much for this place.” He felt up Riku's chest, admiring the muscles there.

Riku's breathing picked up, a little jolted from the bite. He'd started to think Ansem wouldn't do anything more than touch him lightly. Unconsciously, Riku sank against his chest.

Pleased, both hands moved together, and Ansem murmured, “Fantasize for me.”

Riku closed his eyes. He didn't completely understand, and he was distracted, Ansem's hands teasing and tantalizing. “What...”

“Picture it. The thing you crave. Lose control.”

Ansem's tone verged on making that an order, and Riku was in no position to argue. Though he hadn't lied about what he truly wanted, the first image to come to mind was...

Sora.

Riku hissed softly. He tried to forget about Ansem, mentally taking himself to a place where he could stand up to his parents and leave, with Sora. His hips rocked slightly, following the movement on Ansem's hand as he stroked faster.

Biting the same spot, Ansem's wandering hand found sensitive spots while the one around his cock tightened through strokes. Riku managed not to let a sound escape apart from a sharper exhale, but his ability to rein himself in was diminishing. He was losing himself in imagining what it would be like to _have_ Sora, or if he'd been strong enough to never lose him in the first place. Flushed now, he hissed and hitched over a small moan.

Ansem smirked against his throat. He was keeping his body's own reactions in check, only interested in seeing Riku give into his desires. He was proving entertaining, so many walls becoming transparent as Ansem began putting dents in them, and this was only their first encounter.

Someday, he could break Riku down until he was screaming.

Riku had been told repeatedly not to climax before the client, if he even did at all. He'd almost let himself forget that as Ansem worked him closer to the edge, shuddering and blushing, until the electric heat put him at the edge of spilling over. He was surprised enough by the impending hit of pleasure that he remembered to hold it back.

“Ngh -”

“Forget your training,” Ansem instructed, eyes raking over him. “Let it happen...”

He understood even less. Why anyone would spend their time and money just to bring a prostitute to orgasm was beyond him. Thankfully, it didn't matter.

Ansem lifted a hand to his hair, lightly tangling his fingers in it, and gave him the final few strokes towards completion. All at once, Riku was reminded too strongly of Sora, and his head fell back against Ansem's shoulder.

“ _Ah_...”

Shivers wracked him, sensation flooding and overcoming the last vestiges of confusion. Ansem stroked him until he was spent, kissing the spot he'd spent the whole time bruising.

Climax left him lax. Wildly, he wondered if Ansem was going to use the opportunity to get violent, now that Riku was weakened. He steadied his breathing with a bit of effort.

Taking in the sight of him, Ansem removed a cloth from his pocket and wiped off his hand. “You are a beautiful boy.”

Riku reddened. He was saved from having to reply when Ansem turned him abruptly, kissing him and utterly dominating on contact. A little stunned, Riku could do nothing but let him, kissing back as much as he could.

It was brief, and intense. Ansem stroked his hair again, considering pulling it but deciding to leave rougher treatment for later. He broke away and guided Riku from his lap, then got up and straightened his clothes.

“You belong to me now. You won't see any other clients.”

Unconsciously, Riku licked his lips, even less sure what to think. “I-... Yeah. Okay.”

“I will speak to Xigbar, and come see you later in the week,” Ansem informed him. “And I will bring you something more suitable to wear.”

Riku nodded, wordless for a moment. When he found his voice, he managed to sound a lot more confident than he felt.

“Looking forward to it.”

Actually surprised, Ansem laughed quietly. “Excellent,” he murmured, and got the door for himself.

Riku waited until it had closed before he started to dress himself again. He'd done up his jeans when an involuntary shudder made him whole body jerk.

He 'belonged' to this stranger... This imposing stranger.

Maybe Riku was more broken than he'd thought, because... he didn't think he completely minded.


	23. Axel, Roxas, Namine

They'd arranged Roxas's 'Namine-intervention' once, but knowing what he'd be walking into paralyzed Roxas on the day of. He didn't go, that first time.

Considering how freaked out Axel had been over his absence, Roxas thought it was probably the considerate thing to show up at his apartment on time for take two. His forethought extended to his sobriety. He'd wanted to shoot up just to take the edge of, that morning, but he didn't exactly control when the high would wear off. It would be somewhat counter to the point of the visit if he was on drugs, today.

Twitchy with nerves, he knocked. On the other side of the door, Axel stared at it.

After a beat in which he didn't move, Namine spoke up from her spot on the couch. She'd been sipping tea from a tall paper cup with her sketchbook on her lap.

“Shall I get it?”

Axel almost jumped. He honestly just hadn't expected Roxas to show this time, after the last. “No, I've got it...”

Opening the door, they exchanged little grins upon coming face to face. Roxas looked terrible, face deeply shadowed and weight at the lowest it had ever been in his life, but they were still pleased just to see each other.

“No leather for me?” Roxas asked, referring to the casual dress Axel was wearing.

“Wouldn't want to be a distraction.”

Closing her sketchbook, Namine greeted, “Hello, Roxas.”

“Hey...” A bit cautious, Roxas stepped inside.

Namine gave him a gentle smile. “... Axel, aren't you supposed to offer him somewhere to sit?”

“I'd just provide some really inappropriate suggestions.”

Roxas shoved his arm lightly on the way to the couch. Axel spun as though he'd been hit hard enough to create momentum, steering himself to the kitchen.

“I'll scrounge up food,” he offered, wanting to give them a bit of privacy in addition to feeding Roxas. Namine shot him an approving nod.

“So.” She placed the sketchbook to the side. “You do heroin?”

Roxas balked, not expecting to be asked so bluntly. “Yeah, uh... you...?”

“Hallucinogens, mostly, but I used to do other things too. Heroin was on the list,” she confirmed.

“And you went to rehab, right?”

“For a little while. The one I went to wasn't a very nice place... And I didn't try as hard as I should have,” Namine admitted.

“I do want to quit... but I doubt I have the strength for it right now.”

Namine tilted her head, and her question surprised him. “Where do you find your strength?”

“Uh,” he hesitated, “not sure...”

“Well, what _used_ to make you feel strong? Before any of the drugs.”

Roxas floundered. “My... friends, I guess.”

“But not anymore?”

“Hardly have friends, anymore. Seems like my roommate barely exists, and he was my best friend,” Roxas said.

“What happened?”

“I don't know. He says he got a job, but the hours must be ridiculous, and when he's in the apartment he never says a word about it.” Roxas shrugged helplessly. “He used to just... work with me.”

A suspicion aroused, Namine suggested, “Maybe he's doing something illegal, or something he isn't proud of.”

Considering how illegal Hayner's stealing was, Roxas couldn't guess what might be worse. “... Whatever it is, he doesn't trust me enough to tell me.”

Axel returned to the living room then with two plates of reheated take-out.

“I see. So you lost your best friend, and Riku, your supplier...” Namine looked momentarily pensive. “Where _are_ you getting your drugs from?”

“I-...” Sensing Axel's return, Roxas shifted uncomfortably. “Just around…”

Axel set the plates down on the coffee table. “... Should I get lost?”

“Shoo,” Namine smiled and picked up her plate. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Roxas took the other plate, appetite nonexistent. He knew he had to eat something, anyway.

Sighing dramatically, Axel straightened up. “You kids have fun on your date. Keep it above the waist, be _classy_.”

He retreated to his room, and Namine watched him go. “... He's a little ridiculous, isn't he?”

Roxas grinned. “I know. Still figuring out whether I like or hate that about him.”

Their previous conversation on her mind, Namine asked, “You two... you're still 'just friends'?”

“In the sense that we started messing around, decided we're not dating, and now, somehow, he seems like the only person I can count on.”

“At least that sounds like a good friend, to me.”

“Better than none,” Roxas amended.

“Does he make you feel strong, though?”

He almost laughed. “Nothing makes me feel strong.”

“Then, I guess... you have to find something, first. No one can do that for you.” Namine thought of Kairi, and life before her. She knew first-hand that anchoring oneself could be pretty much impossible.

“Even physically... I can't spare the money to eat,” Roxas said. “If I quit now I'd only get weaker.”

“You'd need someone to take care of you,” Namine nodded, “or at least keep an eye on you.”

“Hayner can't, he's working all the time. And before you say Axel, he can't afford me, and there's only so much time we can spend in each other's presence before we snap and do something stupid.”

“Like have sex,” Namine guessed.

“If not that, then snap because we're _not_ having sex.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “It sounds like what you need is a support system of several people...”

“I don't have that,” Roxas shot that down.

“Hm... It seems to me like you have the beginnings of one.”

“How d'you figure?”

“Well, you have Axel. And Sora, by extension – he loves making friends, and no matter what your history with Riku, he'd want to help because you mean so much to Axel.” Namine reached for her tea. “And you have me.”

Honestly, with the lingering resentment he was harboring for Sora, Roxas couldn't think of him as someone to ask for help. “I thought you were just the one to try to and talk me into quitting.”

Namine frowned faintly and sipped her tea. “I'm not going to talk you into anything. You have to want to quit... If it isn't your choice, you won't see it through. But, I'm here if you want me to be. I'll be part of your support system, when the time comes and you need one.”

“... I don't even know how to quit, apart from cutting myself off cold turkey.”

“That's what they suggest, but...” Namine wasn't about to lie. “It felt like I was dying.”

“I _might_ die,” Roxas stressed.

“Axel wouldn't let you so easily. We'd all do our best to help you through it.”

Quieter, Roxas said, “Axel might not be able to do anything about it.”

“No,” she agreed, putting her drink back down. “But that may be inevitable, either way.”

Put off his food, Roxas set it aside. “What about you?”

“Hm...?”

“Do you plan on quitting?”

Namine shook her head.

“... That's encouraging.”

“My reasons are a little different... I'm not afraid for my health, or what it will feel like to quit, or that it would be hard... I'm afraid of what I'll lose, without the hallucinogens.”

A sense of self, any sort of worth – Roxas guessed what she meant, but clarified, “Lose?”

“I'm going to die soon.” Namine folded her hands in her lap. “When I do, I want to leave something behind... My art. But I've forgotten how to create anything, without... um, help.”

“Oh.” Roxas didn't want to question that, and didn't think it was his place to. “But you quit everything else?”

Namine nodded. “After I left rehab, Kairi helped me.”

“She does seem, uh, nice.”

“She is,” Namine smiled fondly.

Roxas inhaled deeply. “If you think a tiny group of people who barely know me and have way more problems than money can somehow help me... I'd try.”

“You're in luck,” Namine said. “We don't need to know your whole life story to care about what happens to you, so we'll support you.”

“I'd be asking for a lot more than support... I can't do no food and no fix, and I don't trust myself not to run off and find some when no one's watching,” Roxas admitted.

“Oh, you'd probably be tied down, knowing Axel,” Namine said innocently.

“I probably need it,” he sighed.

“I don't doubt it would happen. To keep me from going, Kairi had t-...” Namine stopped, clearing her throat. “Actually, um, never mind.”

Roxas was quite certain he didn't want to hear the end of her sentence, and didn't ask. “Right, so... how do I start?”

“By getting rid of the drugs you have. Is there anything you need from home? Clothing, or...?”

Axel might not want him to bring any clothes, Roxas thought. “Yeah, but I should talk to him about this, first...”

“The sooner the better. I'm sure he'll want you to stay, though.”

“I'll just...” Roxas hauled himself up to approach Axel's closed bedroom door. He knocked, wondering how much he'd heard if anything, and started to open the door very slowly. Just to give him time to slam it in his face, if necessary.

Axel had on a pair of cheap headphones, blasting music loud enough to drown out any conversation from the living room and Roxas's knock. Stretched out on the bed, he sat up a little and lowered the headphones when he noticed the door swinging open. “Shit, I meant to change into something slutty, before you stopped by my room.”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “For the best. I have to talk to you without distractions.”

“Lay it on me,” Axel shifted upright. “The conversation, not, y'know.”

“Have to ask you for a favor. Several favors, actually...”

“Alright, hit me.”

The air was thick with hesitant anticipation; they could both feel it. Roxas only had a few seconds to back out, if he was going to.

But he didn't.

“I want to try quitting,” he inhaled deeply. “Can't do that on my own.”

“My help will cost you. I'm gonna want a strip tease, audio porn, and a heart-wrenching love confession.”

Roxas raised his eyebrows.

Grinning, Axel said, “So, you're gonna want to crash here, right? We can share my room. Y'know, if you want.”

“Uh, I don't have to plead my case to you?”

“D'you want to?”

“I want you to think about what you're agreeing to,” Roxas insisted. “There's no way I can work... I won't be able to give you any money... and I can't be almost starved to death anymore...”

Leaving the bed, Axel approached and placed a hand on top of Roxas's head. “Shut up. I already discussed this with Sora, y'know.”

“Wh- When?!” Glaring at his hand, Roxas sounded probably more distressed than necessary. Axel smirked.

“When you were supposed to come over the first time.”

Roxas shook his head. “You hardly even know me! If you do this you're going to see the – the worst possible side of me, and there's _nothing_ I can give you to even start to make up for the trouble -”

“I don't want anything,” Axel interrupted.

Louder, Roxas demanded, “Why?!”

“Because I _like_ you.”

“But this is _huge_.”

“Good thing you're pretty then, right?”

The attempt at lightening things fell flat. Roxas sounded genuinely upset. “That's not funny, and not the case anymore, or at least it won't be...”

Serious now, Axel tilted Roxas's chin. “I've got nothing to lose. I want to help, and maybe be part of the process of you gettin' your shit together, because I like you and you deserve it. So shut up and accept it, alright?”

Roxas deflated. “... No chance you're gonna start harboring Riku, too?”

“Nah, I can only handle one recovering addict at a time.”

Managing a weak smile, Roxas said, “Namine wants me to throw out what I have...”

“ _Do_ you have any?”

“Just what's left over from the last time I bought...” The thought of throwing it out made Roxas's stomach twist and the craving for it burn.

“We've got to flush it.”

“... Yeah...” Roxas swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

“Is it at your place...? I'd go with you, get what you need, flush that shit...”

“Yeah, it's there...”

Lowering his voice, Axel coaxed, “If I see you ditch it, I'll suck you off the moment we're back here.”

“That's no fair.” The idea of a reward actually did ease his anxiety, however slightly. “Fine, let's just get it over with.”

Axel stopped them in the doorway long enough to kiss him. Opening the door, he called out on his way back to the living room, “Namine, we're heading out. Comin' with?”

Smoothing her skirt, Namine stood up. “Maybe, if Roxas would like me to.”

“Sure,” Roxas shrugged. “You can hold the other arm when I start struggling.”

“Sounds like fun.” She picked up her sketchbook and hugged it to her chest.

“You're twisted,” Axel informed her, ducking into the washroom to check his hair first. He ran his hand through it a few times to smooth it down. “Give me a second, I can't be seen in public yet.”

“You look better next to me.” Roxas crossed his arms and leaned into the wall by the door.

“I have self-imposed standards.” His eyeliner was acceptable, Axel decided. He picked up a tube of lip gloss to apply a quick coat, ignoring Namine's giggles.

“Alright, come on before I pussy out,” Roxas coaxed.

“Coming, geez. Impatient,” Axel said, but conscientiously picked up his pace. His keys were in-hand moments later, and the door locked behind them in the span of another breath.

The trip to Roxas's apartment was uneventful, but laden with anxiety. No one spoke much, and by the time Roxas unjammed the cheap new lock to his front door, he was feeling rushed into this idea. Automatically, he checked for Hayner's shoes in the front hall, and wasn't surprised to see them missing.

“Is your roommate home?” Namine was hanging back just a bit. Axel placed a hand on Roxas's shoulder.

“... No. Guess he's at work, then.” Roxas welcomed them in with a vague wave of his hand. Steps unreasonably heavy, he started towards the tiny kitchen.

Namine stayed in the hallway and took in the layout of the place, but Axel stuck close.

“Hey. You okay?”

“How okay do you expect me to be?” Roxas pulled open a cupboard, sliding things aside.

“Okay enough to get through step one,” Axel replied.

There it was. The little package of greyish powder, very little left. Roxas's fingers curled around it. “... I've been thinking...”

Axel watched carefully. “About?”

His grip tightened. “Maybe it's smarter to decrease my dose first... just while I'm getting used to eating again...”

“It won't get you high,” Axel said quietly. “You'll just want more.”

Roxas glanced down at his hand. He couldn't take his eyes off it. “But... for my body, I mean... it might make the symptoms... less.”

“It might make it worse.” Axel reached out to put a hand over Roxas's. Reflexively, Roxas pulled away.

“I don't know... I didn't do any research...”

Axel drew back. “This is your decision,” he reminded him, and glanced away with the shrug of one shoulder.

Roxas inhaled deeply. “It's going to be hell whatever I do,” he despaired, still staring down at the heroin. His hand was shaking slightly.

“... Using what's left is just gonna prolong the process.”

“I know...” Roxas licked his lips unconsciously. The thrum of craving threatened to crush him, bury him alive from the inside out. “Hard to imagine... just never doing it again...”

“You can take up other hobbies. Like knitting, I hear that's therapeutic.”

Roxas forced a laugh. “I'll get right on that.”

Axel shifted on the spot. “... C'mon, Rox... Let's just toss it and move on...”

His grip tightened. “... You're right.”

“Want me to do it?” Axel offered.

“No,” he retorted, sharp. It took a huge amount of effort to start moving, to turn away.

“Hey...”

“Relax, I'll just-... I'll do it myself.” Roxas wished he'd stop following so closely.

“... Sure.”

The best thing to do was probably to flush it, Roxas thought – or, tried to think. Most of what was running through his head were calculations, measuring how much he had left, how many more hits he could get off of it.

Namine drifted over, at last. “Everything okay?”

“We're in the process,” Axel told her. Roxas hardly heard either of them, his heartbeat up in his ears.

His feet moved. Roxas didn't _walk_ so much as drift, and froze inside the bathroom doorway. He didn't pay attention to find out who followed, but found himself honestly relieved when it was Namine, not Axel, to break his reverie.

“Roxas?”

“Yeah?” he glanced back. Namine must have told Axel to wait in the kitchen.

“If you aren't ready, we'll understand,” she said. “Axel will be disappointed, but he won't blame you.”

Roxas swallowed. His throat was tight. “I'm not ready... But I won't be any more ready later.”

Namine nodded. “Then, you can do this.”

“I guess you must've done this once...”

“Kicking and screaming,” she confirmed with a rueful smile.

“That makes me feel a little better, even though I doubt it.” Roxas turned back, trembling hands opening the package.

“You'd be surprised.” Namine watched, and spoke after another second of tense quiet. “... It'll be okay.”

He stared at the powder. He considered doing something stupid, like snorting it. The impulse passed, and he thought of Riku. He would have gotten angry if they'd still been together and Roxas hadn't taken the time to inject – the highs that came from snorting were always lackluster, wasteful.

Anger began to boil in his gut, and he embraced it. Fuck Riku. He'd started this, it was his fault Roxas was in this position now.

Without further ado, he overturned the package over the toilet.

His entire body seemed to ache and flood with freezing cold. He stared at the ruined powder, breathing faster.

Namine wrestled with a familiar pang of loss, but spoke up softly. “It's okay, it will be okay... Let the package go, too.”

“Y-yeah.” Panicked, Roxas shook it out of his hand.

“Just slow down...” Carefully, Namine placed a hand on his back. He was tense and oversensitive, but responded to it accordingly, trying to slow his breathing.

“... I want to be alone, I think...”

“Okay,” Namine nodded and withdrew. “We'll just be by the front door.”

Roxas didn't say anything more in acknowledgement. He leaned forward to flush the drugs, unable to stand the sight for another second, then slid down against the bathroom wall. Bile scalded his throat and made his stomach lurch, irrational hatred filling him more completely than nausea or craving.

Hatred for himself. For Riku, for Axel, even for Namine. He covered his face, tried to breathe, bit down on his lip so hard that it threatened to split the chapped skin.

This was a good thing. Some part of him knew that, tried to convince himself through the vitriol. He started muttering it to himself in his determination to plow through the craving; if he didn't manage to get himself under control, he wasn't convinced he wouldn't attack Axel somehow just to have _something_ to fight.

Lingering in the foyer, Axel muttered to Namine almost inaudibly, “I have no clue what I'm doing.”

“Neither does he,” she said. “Or any of us. ... We'll get through it.”

Axel buried both hands in his hair, briefly gripping the roots. “Fuck, I hope this works out. Any idea what I should expect?”

“You'd be better off asking Kairi,” Namine admitted.

Standing up straight and stretching, Axel waited another minute before drifting back down towards the bathroom, not consulting Namine before going to knock on the wall by the open door.

“Rox?”

Promptly, Roxas shut himself up, unreasonably paranoid. “Yeah...?”

“Just... y'know,” Axel said awkwardly. “Checking how you are...”

Namine didn't follow completely, but approached near enough to listen in.

“Fucking magical,” Roxas shot at him, then cringed. “Sorry.”

“Don't worry 'bout it. Think we should get you out of here, though.”

“... Yeah. Yeah, you're right.” Roxas dragged his eyes up off the ground and up at the doorway. He almost flinched when they landed on Axel.

“Am I that hideous?” Axel asked.

Roxas tried to smile. “Totally.”

“Wow. Ouch.” Axel gestured. “C'mon, we need to get you clothes. Unless you want to borrow mine, you'd look fantastic in a minidress.”

“Maybe one day, but I don't have the hips for your clothes.” He'd thought his patience for Axel's brand of lightening the mood might be running low, but he was actually a little glad for the distraction.

“Damn near no one does,” Axel agreed, and slapped his own ass for emphasis. “Where's your room?”

“In here,” Roxas rolled his eyes and got up, leading him away from the washroom to his ajar bedroom door. Axel followed, scanning the spartan room.

“You have a thing for checker patterns, huh?” he observed.

“Don't know what you're talking about.” Going to grab his clean clothing, he threw them onto the bed in a disorganized heap. Axel just watched, until Roxas hesitated in front of his bedside table.

“... You got more in there, or what?” Axel guessed.

Roxas opened the drawer, and set the needles on top of the table.

“... Ah.”

“Can't exactly flush these,” Roxas said, his hands starting to tremble again.

“I'll take them away,” Axel offered, and started forward. Compulsively, Roxas lurched to stop him with hands curled into fists.

Axel froze and arched an eyebrow. “... You want to hit me...?”

Roxas put his fists behind himself. “Just get them away from me,” he decided stiffly.

“... Yeah.” Axel picked up the needles, and took note of Namine in the doorway. She seemed tense. He slid past her, and Roxas took a seat on the bed, gripping the checkered blanket tightly.

“Breathe, Roxas,” Namine prompted gently.

He did so, a grudging hiss of an inhale. “... I'll be fine. This isn't the hard part.”

“No. It isn't.”

“Thanks for the honesty, I guess,” he grumbled.

“I can't lie about this,” Namine confirmed sympathetically. “You have to remember why you're doing this. Keep it at the front of your mind.”

He grabbed the blanket even tighter, rocking slightly. “Why am I doing this again?”

“I couldn't tell you. It's your reason...”

Roxas groaned. He felt sick again, and looking around for a distraction wasn't helping.

“If you want, I can pack the rest of your stuff, and you could get some water?” Namine offered.

“I'll pack my stuff... in a minute.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

Neither of them noticed that Axel had returned, hovering by the door. Roxas muttered, “I think I do want Axel back, now...”

“M'here,” he spoke up, slipping into view. Namine jumped a little.

“I'll, um...” Namine hesitated, then retreated. Roxas groaned.

“Okay, well, you heard me already.” With an air of resignation, he watched Axel approach. “Proceed with your teasing.”

Dropping onto the bed by him, Axel leaned in to brush his lips over Roxas's neck. “ _Teasing_ , or...?”

He wished he could feel responsive to the distraction Axel offered. Instead, Roxas felt like his skin was crawling.

“... Hey...” Axel put a hand on his knee. Roxas shied away.

“Sorry, not right now.”

“Hey, it's whatever you need.” Axel drew back to give him a little space.

Roxas breathed in, slow and deliberate. “I'm going to just... finish packing,” he said, and got up. Hastily, he grabbed the few things he needed to survive on and dug out an old backpack.

“Just, you know,” Axel said. “Tell me what to do. If you think of anything.”

“You could carry me home like your blushing bride,” Roxas suggested, forcibly packing clothes into the bag.

“I was gonna do that anyway.”

Roxas paused. “You better be kidding.”

Axel didn't reply, just giving him a careful grin.

“... That's it,” Roxas declared when he'd shoved the last articles down and zipped the backpack closed.

“So, back to mine for the honeymoon?”

“I feel really sorry for you if your honeymoon ends up anything like this.”

Axel chuckled, getting up. “... Let's get going.”

Roxas led the way back out into the hall, sparing another glance at the bathroom. He couldn't help but wonder what Axel had done with the needles, but knew it was probably better that he didn't ask.

Once he'd confirmed that it was alright, Axel slung an arm over Roxas's shoulder. “Namine, we're heading back. You coming?”

Namine had been idly inspecting the contents of her sketchbook. “Should I?”

“You have to go somewhere, right?” Roxas asked.

“Back home,” she nodded immediately.

“Say hi to Kairi for me,” Axel said.

“I'll pass it on. Good luck, Roxas...”

“Thanks, for all the good it'll do,” he said.

“I hope you don't even need it.” With a little wave, Namine left the apartment ahead of them.

Axel removed his arm to go put his shoes back on. “... Alright, so, you want to go straight back, or make any detours?”

“Let's just go,” Roxas said, shoving his feet into his own shoes. Leaving the apartment felt like an assault on his senses; the cloud cover had cleared, making the sky offensively bright. With a grimace, Roxas shielded his eyes against the sun, wondering if he was oversensitive or if the world was just rubbing it in.

They proceeded towards the bus shelter, and Axel broke the silence before it could get awkward. “As my unofficial roommate for the time being, is there anything you want to know? Apartment rules are pretty basic...”

Roxas shrugged. “Do I sleep in your bed?”

“Yeah. Whether or not I join you is your call.”

“Just wanted to be sure it's cool,” Roxas shook his head. “Doubt I'll be thinking much about apartment rules...”

“Worst case scenario, we get some noise complaints.”

“Could be okay, depending on the noise,” he said.

“They usually only report us for explosions, these days,” Axel told him.

“Well, now I feel very secure in my decision.”

“I'll tone it down while you're here.”

“Then you'll just have to personally keep me warm,” Roxas said, not quite joking. He felt cold again, and dizzy. He swayed as he walked, and Axel observed until the need to grab his shoulder for support seemed necessary.

“Rox... Shit, how long has it even been, since...”

“What?” Roxas's head was spinning.

“Used? Eaten? Drank?” Axel listed.

“'Fore your place... two days, maybe?”

“... Thank god I have a nurse outfit.”

“Oh really...” Any other time, Roxas wouldn't have had to work to muster intrigue, but he was starting to feel really awful.

“You need to be in my bed, and not for the reasons I usually mean,” Axel sighed. “I've got to get some actual nutrients into you.”

“I'm just tired...”

“Yeah, that'd be why.”

“Can I just sleep through this?” The idea of eating sounded... exhausting.

“As much as possible, yeah. For now, eyes open.”

Roxas groaned. He was limp against Axel, and hadn't realized they'd closed. “Fine... they're open...”

“Now keep them that way,” Axel instructed.

Blinking purposefully, he scowled. “Whatever.”

“That's right, glare. You need 'em open for an effective glower, that's perfect.”

Leaning into him heavily, Roxas weakly punched Axel's arm. “You're so comforting. Is the bus here yet?”

“I aim to please. Can't be that much longer.”

The wait seemed to drag on, every minute that passed clawing Roxas's energy to ragged shreds. By the time Axel hauled him onto the bus and into a seat at the back, he thought he might be on the verge of passing out.

“I'll get you through this,” Axel murmured, keeping his arms wound around him. His tone was surprising, serious and genuine instead of carrying his usual lighthearted cadence.

“That's easy to say now,” Roxas claimed, but he was grateful anyway.

“Hey, I'll do it even if it kills me,” Axel declared. “Got to make this worth something.”

“Make what...?”

“You know... How you're feeling right now.” That was only partly what he'd meant, but Axel wasn't particularly compelled to expand on that. “Still conscious?”

“For now,” Roxas said, and leaned his head on his shoulder. “You're welcome to try waking me up...”

“I assume everything you say is an invitation for sex. Was that a come-on, or am I just horny?”

“Bit of one.”

“If you felt better, I'd take you up on that,” Axel lamented. “Wouldn't be the first handjob on a bus I ever gave.”

“That true?” Roxas lifted his eyes.

Axel smirked faintly. “Yeah, with my ex. He wasn't much for public displays, but when he wanted something, he'd just _do_ it. Location be damned.”

“Well, tell me some more stories, then.” Vaguely curious about this ex-boyfriend, Roxas latched to the topic.

“About Saix, specifically? Or my sexual exploits?”

“Surprise me.”

“The latter will make this skirt rise... So, Saix,” Axel decided. “First guy I got in it with for the long haul. Knew him since high school... He was like a guard dog with the temperament of a really standoffish cat.”

“The animal comparisons worry me a little,” Roxas commented.

“Well, he _was_ a little feral.”

“Sounds terrifying,” he raised his eyebrows.

“Only sometimes. I could handle him fine, until he decided to chase some other guy.”

“Ouch,” Roxas frowned. “Any other guys as lovely as him?”

“No one as serious as Saix was. I mean... Flings, sure.” Axel's voice dropped to a mutter. “That worked out _great_.”

A bit of a lump threatened to rise in Roxas's throat. “That's how you...?”

“Yes and no. Had a one night thing with an acquaintance,” Axel confirmed. “He didn't tell me he had it.”

“You have some pretty shitty 'quaintances,” Roxas mumbled. “Thought it might be that... y'r not a user...”

“No, just stupid,” Axel confirmed.

“Someone was stupid for not telling you. You learned from that, clearly... otherwise I would've jumped you as soon as I could.”

Axel smirked. “It'd have been mutual. Seriously, nothing gets me going like a blonde with attitude. You're unfairly hot.”

“Sorry f'r torturing you with my sexiness,” Roxas muttered into Axel's shoulder. He was all but snuggling into him, well beyond dignity at the moment. Any of his former ire towards Axel had been demolished by his comforting presence, and it was tempting to just fall asleep cuddled against him.

Keeping an eye out, Axel shook him a little a moment later. “Rox, we're nearly there.”

Roxas groaned.

“I'll let you crash soon, alright? We're close.” Axel saw fit to assist him as the bus slowed. “More and more tempting to just carry you...”

“Maybe when we're off the bus and out of the public eye,” Roxas amended.

“You make it sound like we're planning something scandalous.”

“We're scandalous just by existing,” Roxas mumbled. He unburied his face, clambering down off the bus with Axel's help. He nearly slammed into him, tripping over the dip between the platform and asphalt.

“Want my arm? We'll look like a straight couple,” Axel suggested. Roxas grumbled but took the arm anyway. “This is a novelty I don't get to partake in much, unless I'm out with Sora.”

They were only a block away from the apartment. Roxas walked with him, suddenly curious. “You and Sora ever...?”

“... Oh-... Yeah, once,” Axel confirmed. “Just to see if that was a thing.”

“Guess it wasn't, then.” Roxas would sort out how he felt about the two of them messing around later – he didn't hold it against Axel, but there was a part of him that was annoyed by the idea that Sora had slept with every significant man in his life.

“Definitely not. Not that it was bad or anything, we're just better friends.”

“Not blonde enough?”

“Also lacking sass,” Axel frowned. “As for me, I apparently need 'more perfect' hair.”

Roxas could easily think of someone fitting _that_ vague description. “You two are weird...”

“Yeah,” he grinned, and fished for his keys. They'd arrived at the apartment's side door. “So, what about you? Other than Riku, what's your history?”

“You mean my exes?”

“Yeah. Any good ones?”

“Didn't date any guys I slept with up 'til Riku,” Roxas said. “Only other 'ex' is Xion. She... made me realize some things.”

Axel snorted and started to laugh. “I'll bet.”

Roxas managed a grin, letting Axel take him inside. “What about that girl... Larxene?”

“She was blonde and a delinquent, I got _confused_.”

The trip up to the apartment made the reality of the situation harder to escape, and Roxas's growing good cheer faded. By the time they reached the apartment, he just felt tired again, his vision spotting over with black.

“... Before you crash, Rox, I need you to drink something,” Axel instructed, shouldering open the door once he'd unlocked it.

“Can't drink,” Roxas protested, leaning into him. “Overdose...”

“Not alcohol.”

“Oh.”

Roxas didn't pay much attention to anything else until he was sinking into Axel's bed, lifting the glass of water he'd brought him as though it weighed five times as much as it really did. Axel supported his hand when it shook, coaxing - “A few sips and you're golden...” - and helped him to lie back when he'd managed to drain half the glass.

“If it's any consolation,” he told him, “I still find you sexy when you feel like hell.”

Roxas settled back, managing a little smile. “Yeah, but you're ridiculous.”

“Maybe, but I have great taste.” Axel ran a hand through Roxas's hair. “I'll let you sleep.”

“Thanks, Axel...”

“Thank me when the worst is over.” Axel stood up, and gently closed the door behind him on the way out. Roxas was left to the stillness and the dark, but couldn't fall asleep as long as the room kept spinning.


	24. Ansem, Riku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note - chapter 25 will be coming out a week late, because next Monday is 8/13! AkuRoku day! We'll be uploading something else on that day, so keep an eye out!

His name was Ansem. Ansem Shidousha.

Riku had known that name long before he'd seen his face. 'Shidousha' was a powerful name in this city, one that carried a lot of weight. His parents, prominent in the business world and heavily involved in the local politics, exalted that name like Ansem was the president, himself.

It was surreal, seeing him again. Knowing, this time, that Ansem could not only afford Riku's time, but could have probably bought the entire brothel to have at his beck and call every hour of every day. He wouldn't have to dent his funds to do it. Riku had practically grown up knowing Ansem's name, and there he was, buying Riku clothes and asking him increasingly probing questions.

When Ansem touched him, it never seemed to be with his own pleasure in mind. He stroked Riku, played with his body, explored and examined and memorized every little thing that made Riku twitch and groan. There was one encounter in which he changed things and forbade Riku from speaking at all, but that seemed to bore him. Riku didn't think he'd ever told anyone his life's story, but Ansem was certainly piecing it together; he had Riku tell him about his father, his mother, his adoption and their expectations and their arguments. He told Ansem about the ways they'd exert control, refusing him food or locking him in his bedroom without permission to leave for even the most necessary reasons. He'd been beaten, he'd been belittled, and Ansem knew about it all. He told him about the secrets he'd harbored growing up, though he never mentioned Sora's name – in fact, Sora was the only thing he avoided talking about, and his absence from Riku's stories wasn't obvious enough for Ansem to press it.

Time and time again, they talked about the heroin. How it made him feel. How, even though it was a weakness, it felt like Riku's only source of strength. It was a symbol of rebellion, a choice Riku made independently of his parents or anyone else. The first time Ansem had asked him what he'd be without it, Riku almost panicked, thinking Ansem was going to try to take it away from him... but he didn't.

Riku without heroin was a man with nothing to guide him. He wanted to walk a path towards power, _independence_ , and far from being a crutch, heroin felt like a light to lead the way. Ansem had no intention of cutting him off.

Though he probably couldn't have really forced Riku to do anything he refused to – Riku told himself that, he told himself again and again – there was something gratifying about Ansem's presence in his life. He didn't understand the man's motives, didn't know exactly what he _saw_ in Riku that kept him coming back, but he'd successfully become the central figure in Riku's life over the past month. Roxas was a memory; Sora, a regret.

Ansem was a constant.

As he always could, and always _did_ , Riku timed everything exactly. He had no other clients, and only came by the brothel for the standing appointment he had with Ansem. He'd showered and dressed the way Ansem liked, a tight outfit that fit like paint over the curves of his muscles. Riku opened the door without Ansem even having to knock, for they both knew he would arrive at precisely the scheduled time.

It wasn't that Ansem was any less imposing, over time, but familiarity made Riku bolder. He could meet Ansem's gaze without a drop of reservation, now, and didn't have to force it.

There was a new shopping bag over Ansem's arm, and he smirked at the sight of him. “I've missed you, Riku,” he greeted, and shut the door behind himself. In stepping closer towards him, Ansem towered over Riku, but he did not step back. Riku just tilted his head slightly to keep his eyes on him.

“You know I'm here whenever you want me,” he answered.

“Regrettably, my time is far more limited...” Removing a glove, Ansem trailed his fingers along Riku's jaw, up towards a long strand of silver hair. He smirked. “Your hair has grown.”

Riku nodded slightly, struck with sudden uncertainty and needing approval. “Should I cut it?”

“No. Keep it as it is.” Ansem pulled him towards the bed. “There will be no games today. You are to submit to me totally.”

Cooperating, Riku swallowed hard and replied almost too late. “Yes-...”

He'd been practically trained to react to Ansem, now. There was a prickle of self-loathing under the heightened feeling, something he couldn't quash even after weeks of practice. No matter what their dynamic, there was a stubborn streak in Riku that hated being used.

But he could ignore that.

Ansem set the bag down within reach and pushed Riku onto his back. His legs moved apart to allow Ansem room between them if that was what he wished, and he pointedly kept his gaze off the bag as he lay back. He'd find out what was in it when Ansem wanted him to, and not before.

There was a theory Ansem had and was planning on putting to the test, based on a time he'd 'explored' Riku with the lights off. A hand slid up his chest through fabric, feeling Riku breathe – even, quiet, calm. It was that much easier to feel when he trailed it all the way up to Riku's throat, and Ansem rested his fingers there in a manner than was almost threatening.

“Undress.”

“Yes...” Swallowing again, Riku shook off a strange thought with reddening cheeks. He almost felt like he should follow that up with 'sir', or 'master'. He'd never really do it, not unless he was told to, which made it that much more unreal of an urge.

He had to sit up to remove all his clothing, and Ansem watched all the while with no change in his expression, the scan of Riku's body almost clinical in detachment. Ansem removed his own coat and half-buttoned shirt once Riku had nothing left to cover himself.

It wasn't really subservient to look, much less admire. Riku had noted it before, though – Ansem cut a handsome figure. He tried not to look at him too much, knowing his place was of a hooker and not a lover... but in a manner not at all submissive, Riku shifted as though showing off his own body.

Ansem's eyes never left him. He slid his belt off slowly. “Hands.”

Riku held them out. He didn't like the idea of losing that much control, but he didn't actually have any right then anyway. Ansem tightened the leather around his wrists, checking it for security and guiding him back down against the bed.

“Perfect,” he praised.

Still faintly red, Riku tugged just enough to test that they were tightly bound. Smug, Ansem drank in his blush and leaned over him. He felt over his hips, not close enough to anywhere sensitive, but Riku had been trained well. His responses were unrestrained, his hips pressing up into his hands with a slow, needy exhale.

He didn't know – didn't remember – when it had gotten so warm... It only felt more so as Ansem trailed his fingers wherever he desired them to go. He never gave Riku enough, and his eyes never left his face.

Lips dry, Riku drew them into his mouth to moisten them and swallowed. He resisted the impulse to watch Ansem's hands, see if he could predict where he would touch next, and met Ansem's gaze instead.

One hand slid under Riku's hips to get a possessive grip of his ass. Riku tensed slightly.

“Ng-...”

The sound was quiet, but genuine. That was what pleased Ansem. He moved Riku's body as he wanted, hands running down the back of his legs, planning to tease until he could see Riku start to break.

It wasn't a hard point to drive him to. He'd become very experienced at it.

Still, Riku wasn't oblivious to what he wanted and he never wanted to give in so easily. He moved his legs to give him more room, meeting the challenge and managing not to shiver when Ansem trailed his hands high up inside his thighs.

His exhale was shaky, though. Ansem smirked and massaged higher, his eyes slanting towards the bag on the floor.

Riku didn't notice, his eyes sliding briefly closed. Just these little touches had primed him, kindling arousal and getting him hard. Without meaning to, he tried to move into Ansem's hands, and thought he was successful when Ansem ghosted the back of his knuckles along his cock.

Then he took away contact completely. A short groan escaped Riku's lips.

“Beg me to touch you,” Ansem instructed, voice low and rough. Heat rushed between Riku's legs, and he _hated_ that.

“... Please, touch me more,” he muttered.

“That's hardly moving, boy.”

Flush deepening, Riku's eyes flickered away from only a second. “Ansem, _please_...”

A strong hand gripped his jaw, jolting him. “Do you have any wish to look away from me?”

“No-...” Riku swallowed. “No, I just... can't think...”

Ansem smirked and released him. “Shall I ease your mind?”

“... How -”

“Hush,” Ansem interrupted tonelessly. He slid away like a shadow, smooth and oddly sinister, before reaching into the bag for a slim black strip of silk.

Riku stared, not immediately understanding what it was for. Leaning over him again, Ansem kissed him, surprisingly soft. Then he secured the blindfold around his eyes.

Tension shot up Riku's back as everything went dark, and he went perfectly still. Noticing the shift and satisfied that he was correct about what affect the darkness would have, Ansem pulled away and off him entirely.

Breathing in sharply, Riku reflexively tugged at the bindings of his wrists. He liked Ansem's absence even less than the feeling of being loomed over; he couldn't tell where he'd gone, what he was planning, what was about to happen -

“Shh, my Riku, I am here...” Ansem gave no indication of where he was going to touch before skimming his fingers up his thigh.

Still tense, Riku jerked and exhaled. “The blindfold -”

“It is something you will have to learn... to adjust to the darkness...” Ansem trailed his hands higher, still avoiding giving him any reprieve between his legs.

Riku's breathing was obviously forced even, coming out in louder, deliberate exhales. The contact was good, it shouldn't have alarmed him, there was no reason every faint rustle of movement should spike his anxiety, and yet -

“... Please. Take it off.”

Ansem's voice grew harder. “I will not tolerate weakness.”

Just the word made Riku's hands clench into fists. He was not weak.

The darkness still meant he couldn't relax, his other senses attempting to overcompensate to make up for what he couldn't see. Ansem made a sound that might have been of approval, taking his hand away only to brush across his chest without warning.

Riku almost tried to jerk away from him. His breath caught the second he realized what he'd just done. “Sorry -”

“Hm.” Less impressed, Ansem pressed his nails into his skin, scraping over a nipple. Riku almost choked, wanting to push him away but _knowing_ better. It was just...

It felt like any touch could become violent when he couldn't see Ansem's expression.

Though Ansem mourned the loss of any pained look in his eyes, he was quite enjoying being able to watch Riku struggle with himself. He pulled away again, and softly ordered, “Beg.”

“ _Please_... Ansem, please...” There was an edge to Riku's voice that was a lot more desperate than aggressive.

“Much better... That's lovely...”

There was a distinct sound, one Riku could recognize. A zipper. Then, abruptly, Ansem wrapped his hand around Riku's erection. Rather than feel relieved, Riku moved to shield himself with a harsh exhale, rigid. He made himself still.

“Riku.” Ansem's tone was warning, noticing his restraint. He stroked him slowly, though no other part of Ansem was close enough for Riku to feel.

He was shakier with every moment that passed, almost sitting up at attention. “Ngh-...”

Another hand guided him back down, and the grip on his cock tightened. Feeling pinned, a short spike of panic washed Riku over with cold, and the word slipped without meaning to.

“No -”

He could not see it, but Ansem frowned. Both hands were lifted off him.

Breathing harder, Riku tried to relax, tense to the point of almost shaking. It took everything to make his voice level, and he muttered, “I'm fine. I'm sorry, I-... Keep going, I'm yours.”

No reply. It was unnerving. What Riku _did_ hear was the crinkle of plastic as Ansem reached into the bag. The sound was like a warning, and he wished he could grip something, brace himself. He didn't even know what he needed to brace _for_.

Ansem savored his clear discomfort for a moment. He gave no indication of what he was planning to do, until the riding crop came down sharply on Riku's hip.

He hissed loud, only remembering himself in time not to lash out and kick.

Hiding his amusement, Ansem brought it down again on his thigh. Riku stretched out, still tense but trying to just _take_ it. He couldn't help himself when he hissed and winced, but he wouldn't shy away again.

He wasn't weak, he reminded himself. He'd remind Ansem, too. What had happened, what he'd done – it'd been a fluke, a one-off -

“You do not deny me.” Ansem's next strike was a bit more vicious.

“ _Ah_ -” Riku screwed his eyes shut in response to the pain, though his subconscious scrambled into further fear with the reminder that opening his eyes again wouldn't help him see any better.

Taking out a few more strikes on his chest, Ansem went on coldly. “Never again.”

“I won't-... I won't,” Riku hissed.

Satisfied with the purpling welts he'd left, Ansem set the crop aside and climbed over him again, pushing a leg between Riku's. The weight and warmth was actually reassuring, and after a split-second of deliberation, Riku decided to keep his eyes shut.

“... I'm sorry,” he breathed shakily.

“You know I would never hurt you for no reason.” Ansem's knee shifted upwards, grinding into him. “I hurt you to make you stronger.”

“ _Ngh_... Hn-...” Riku's breathing hitched as Ansem placed kisses against the still-stinging marks, and he shuddered. He couldn't make himself relax, but his body still knew to want more of that.

Ansem sucked a mark, then moved up his neck. He shifted to straddle him properly, bare cock sliding against Riku's.

“Fuck...” Riku groaned, giving into everything. Helplessness was making him feel far too much, paranoia keeping every nerve on end. A large hand wrapped around them both, and he wished it felt comforting, or loving, or anything close to it.

It didn't normally matter, but at that moment...

Sharp breaths escaped and quaked at every spark of pleasure, Ansem's name slipping out desperately amidst low groans. Not particularly caring what Riku was feeling so long as he was being crushed under his power, Ansem smirked and stroked them both faster, wanting to see Riku climax first.

“That's right...”

He was being worked so close but he was too tense, still. Riku's soft groan was almost tortured, and he opened his eyes, straining to see anything at all past the blindfold. Drinking in the sound, Ansem kissed up his throat and slid his other hand into Riku's hair.

Reminded just a little of Sora, Riku tilted his head into the contact. He wasn't flushed like normal, but was panting hard when he asked, “C-can I-...”

“Go on,” Ansem murmured, guessing he liked that and continuing to toy with his hair.

Groaning low, pain and panic and pleasure all swirled together and made his orgasm intense but _different_. Trembling, Riku spilled into Ansem's hand, already feeling cold without the burn of need in his gut.

Stroking until he was finished, Ansem raised his sullied hand to Riku's lips and prompted them open with his thumb. Feeling more weak than listless, no less tense even as he shook, Riku obediently parted them.

Ansem slid his fingers into his open mouth. “Clean them.”

With a distant ripple of something like disgrace, Riku sucked, numb to the taste of himself. Ansem watched him, almost surprised by how fascinating his beauty was and deciding what he wanted from him next. Once he was satisfied, Ansem withdrew his fingers from his mouth and sat Riku up. Then, carefully, he directed him to the floor.

Still trembling, Riku's head tilted as though trying to blindly follow what Ansem was doing. On his knees, bound and helpless, Ansem observed him and guided him forward. He took Riku's chin in one hand and his neglected arousal in the other.

Riku expected it, but still didn't feel prepared. His lips apart, he tongued the head and took him in shallowly. He was afraid to even do that. He already felt like he couldn't breathe.

Ansem thrust forward slightly, but largely allowed him to set the pace, continuing to stroke his hair in the fashion of a master rewarding his pet. Terrified that he was going to suffocate in the darkness and even more terrified to show it, Riku made himself swallow Ansem's cock, and sucked.

Something about the tension in Riku's body was uniquely alluring, and already, Ansem was planning for the next time he'd put him through this. He groaned quietly, approving, and Riku sucked a bit harder. He moved his tongue against him, not going slow and closing his eyes again.

If he could just pretend he wanted it this way...

“Very good,” Ansem praised, petting him.

Even in this state, the approval did _something_ to him. He worked his tongue around the shaft, the crown, almost lifted his hands to stroke him before he realized how pointless it would be to try.

Ansem allowed himself to let go of his stamina to just feel, his hand tightening in Riku's hair and starting to move him when he decided his pace wasn't enough.

“ _Mm_...” Instinctively, Riku tried to pull back out of panic, then redoubled his efforts. Ansem's low sound was something like a laugh, and that disgraced feeling returned. He sucked every time he drew back, drew him in right to the back of his throat and swallowed.

He'd been more affected watching Riku than he planned for. Ansem kept a hand at the back of his neck, basking in the feeling of overheating, while Riku's paranoia only worsened.

He deliberately gave no warning of his sudden peak, eyes fixed on Riku's face. Not expecting it and thus less prepared than he would've otherwise been, Riku jolted back a bit but hastened to make up for it, sucking and swallowing. A bit of white streaked across his face, and Ansem made it worse by stroking a thumb through it and across his cheek.

“You're learning,” he exhaled slowly.

Riku breathed deeply. He ached everywhere from having been so stiff for so long.

Hauling him back onto the bed, Ansem slowly untied the blindfold and tugged Riku into his arms the moment it was off. Shaking renewed, Riku caught his breath and unconsciously latched to Ansem. He ran a hand up and down Riku's back, urging him against his chest to prevent him from seeing the triumphant expression on his face.

All Riku could think of was the cold craving in his veins. He buried his face against Ansem's chest, and let himself be held for a while. Ansem obliged him, though not out of any kindness.

He was wearing Riku down.

“... I need to be alone... Please,” Riku muttered without drawing back.

“Very well.” Prompting him off, Ansem collected the blindfold and the crop before starting to redress. Riku sat on the bed, watching him.

He wasn't able to ask him not to do that again. He knew it wouldn't make a difference. He just... had to make sure he didn't do anything to deserve it.

Dressing himself efficiently, Ansem picked up the shopping bag again. “I won't wait so long to see you again,” he told him, the purr sounding vaguely threatening.

Riku nodded. His voice was a little roughened. “I'll be prepared.”

Ansem doubted that, and did not say so. Smirking to himself, he left the room, silence ringing in the wake of the closed door.

Everything from the moment that he left was a blur, until Riku had emptied the syringe of heroin in his bedside drawer into his arm. Then... everything, even the jarring encounter with Ansem only moments ago, ceased to matter.


	25. Roxas, Axel, Namine, Kairi, Sora

Things were... tough.

Very tough.

Keeping Roxas's strength up was an unending battle, one they lost a lot more often than they won. Even water was hard for Roxas to keep down, and eating exhausted him. If he could have slept through the majority of the day, it might not have been so bad. All the wrenching discomfort and throbbing headaches kept him from passing out, and he was stuck with his soreness and sour mood. When he did sleep, he was hardly aware of it – his dreams were indistinguishable from dizzy hallucinations.

He spent his time curled up on Axel's bed, or the floor, shaking and screaming and sweating. There was nothing anyone could do for him, but that didn't stop them from minding him.

Roxas was on a short fuse. He hated this, hated being watched over like a child. Stiffly sat upon the floor with his back against the wall, Roxas occasionally glared at Namine, who'd come over while Axel was out. Mostly, she had spent the afternoon sketching, an array of pencils cluttering up the table. She didn't fault him for his unpleasantness and didn't try to strike up conversation, knowing very well what he was going through.

Mail in-hand, Axel unlocked the door and pushed it open with his shoulder. He'd been pulling more shifts lately to rake in enough to feed Roxas, but the atmosphere at home was so tense that he didn't miss his free time.

“Rox...?”

Briefly, Roxas fixed his irritated stare on Axel, then back at the floor, curling around his knees.

At least he was more lucid, lately. Axel shut the door and locked it, trying to brush off exhaustion. “You've got mail.”

Namine glanced up at last. Roxas just grunted, not immediately recalling what he was waiting for.

Axel removed his this jacket and his boots, coming over and sinking to crouch by Roxas. He held out the envelope to him. “It's your results, man.”

Roxas blinked. “Oh.”

Right. They'd gone out to get him tested... just in case.

He unwound his arms from himself and took the envelope. He couldn't summon the energy to feel anxious about whatever the results said, at least, and he tore it carelessly open.

In contrast, Axel was _very_ tense. Namine eyed him, noting that his complexion was unrealistically smooth – he was good at applying make-up, but she could still tell that he was hiding the dark circles under his eyes.

Unfolding the single page, Roxas took a long time to locate the actual results. With a shrug, he turned it for Axel to see.

The tension sapped right out of him with a long breath. “S'good,” Axel exhaled, and ran a hand through his hair. “That's good.”

Namine spoke for the first time in hours, just wanting to confirm. “Negative?”

“He's all clear,” Axel confirmed.

Roxas handed the letter back to Axel, not wanting it. “Here. Kindling.”

“Thanks.” Axel assessed him. “How was today?”

“Boring,” Roxas replied dully. Namine went silent again.

“Not much in the way of entertainment, yeah...”

“I thought I was almost hungry a couple hours ago... but it was probably just cramps,” Roxas muttered.

“Should feed you, anyway.” Axel glanced at Namine to confirm that he hadn't tried to eat anything, and she nodded.

Not thrilled by the concept, Roxas shrugged.

Axel stood and stretched. “I'll see what we've got, alright? Namine, you want anything?”

“No, thank you.” She hadn't eaten either, but she knew how much financial strain he was under.

He went to the kitchen, and took a moment to all but collapse against the counter, worn down. Axel closed his eyes, breathed, then reached out to wrench open the fridge door.

Sandwich was probably a safe bet. Something plain, easy to chew, soft on the digestion. Despite what Namine had said, he started on a second one for her, too. She'd been over all day, so he seriously doubted she wasn't hungry.

She looked guilty when he came back to the living room with a plate extended towards her. Still, she accepted it.

“Here,” Axel knelt by Roxas, again.

For a moment, he simply stared at it. When he decided he wasn't _revolted_ by the idea of the sandwich (better than his usual attitude), he accepted it.

“I'll get you water, too,” Axel said, resting his head against the wall for a minute before getting up.

“Yeah, thanks...”

“Namine, water? I'll only charge you a buck for it,” Axel offered, trying to ease her shame with a smile. It didn't work, but she nodded all the same.

By the time Axel returned with two full glasses, Roxas had given up on the sandwich. He'd only had one bite.

“... I've got to remove my make-up... Probably change, this shit isn't made for lounging. I'm good whenever you want to go, though, Namine.”

“Thank you,” she mumbled, and took a sip.

The water was easier on Roxas than food. He hadn't realized how thirsty he was until he was drinking.

Less graceful than he usually tried to be in Roxas's presence, Axel trudged to the bathroom and cringed at the sight of himself in the mirror. Still, he grabbed cotton pads to soak in mineral oil and drag through the thick foundation.

Idly, Roxas scratched at his red, worn skin, and stared at the sandwich like it was the enemy. Namine watched him, knowing the itch wouldn't alleviate no matter what he did.

He'd started bleeding.

“You have to try to stop. Scratching at the carpet might occupy your hands, but no matter what you do, it will hurt.”

Roxas groaned. “I'm supposed to have a scratching post like a cat?”

“Honest, it will at least distract.”

“You're the expert,” Roxas snapped harshly, then sighed. “... Sorry.”

She wasn't hurt. She knew what this was like. “I know.”

The crawling feeling under the surface of his skin only felt worse, but all the same, Roxas dragged himself over to dig his nails into the floor, tugging at carpet fibers.

When Axel returned, he was looking a lot more gaunt and pale than usual. He dropped onto the couch heavily. “Are we angry at the carpet? I can burn it, if you want.”

“It's just a preventative measure,” Namine explained. Roxas glanced up briefly, then tried not to look at Axel.

He didn't need guilt on top of everything else.

“Got it,” Axel said, wary when he registered the state of Roxas's arms. Namine lightly patted his shoulder, taking another bite of her sandwich.

Staring at the floor, Roxas scratched harder, until one of his brittle fingernails split. “Fuck -”

Immediately, Axel was on his feet again. “What do you need? Anything?”

“I'll just... wash it...” Roxas got to his knees, pushing himself up. “Wrap it up...”

“... Yeah, alright...”

“He isn't a child, calm down,” Namine murmured to Axel. Roxas, thankfully, wasn't listening, on his way to the bathroom to run the tap.

Axel ran a hand through his hair, uncomfortable with his helplessness. “... Fuck, I don't know what I'm doing.”

“You're doing alright... He isn't angry at you, he's just in withdrawal...”

In the bathroom, Roxas pulled open a cabinet and carelessly shoved items aside to find gauze. With a hiss, he realigned the broken pieces, blood oozing between the crack. Closing the cabinet, he grimaced at his reflection and groaned.

He looked like _hell_.

“Sit back down,” Namine suggested. “You look worn down.”

“Ugh, do I?” Axel sank to the couch again. “Maybe I should just... never wash my face. At least keep the bags covered.”

“... If you want to...” Namine knew the hit to Axel's vanity was probably bothering him more than it would for most people. The last thing Axel wanted was to look sick.

“I just-... He doesn't need to see me like this,” he mumbled. “He has enough shit to deal with...”

Namine was quiet for a while, finishing her sandwich. “... Thank you for feeding me, but you shouldn't have.”

Axel shrugged carelessly, resting his forehead in his hand. “Celebration of the lack of HIV among two-thirds of this household. Although, your presence makes it an even fifty-fifty split.”

Slowly, Roxas shuffled back into the living room, trying not to meet anyone's eyes. Namine began to gather her things.

“Kairi is expecting to meet up with me here... I think I'll wait at the bus stop for her.”

“Thanks for being here,” Roxas said grudgingly.

“It's okay. You don't have to say that.” Namine closed her sketchbook. “I'll be back soon.”

Awkward, Roxas shrugged, hands already twitching with the need to resume scratching.

“Mmn.” Axel nodded, following Namine to the door to lock it behind her. Then he regarded Roxas, and they were on their own.

It was hard, being alone together. Nothing killed romance like drug withdrawal.

“... Maybe we should wrap your arms up.”

“Maybe we should put me in mittens like a toddler with chickenpox,” Roxas scowled bitterly.

“How cute.”

Roxas was silent, clearly unamused.

“I'm serious about your arms, though.” Axel wasn't any less on edge around open wounds, no matter how small. “Just in case-... You know.”

“In case you bleed all over me.”

“Who knows what crazy things we'll get up to,” Axel said, and went to rummage for bandages.

“Huh.” Roxas made a sound, a mockery of a laugh. Axel paused.

“What...?”

Roxas just shook his head and buried it again. Reluctantly, Axel resumed course and fetched the bandages.

“Want help?”

“Didn't think you'd be willing to touch me.” Roxas reached for the gauze.

Axel raised an eyebrow. “What's that mean?”

“I just meant... open wounds.”

“I'm not going to make you struggle with it. I don't have wounds, right now.”

Roxas shrugged. “Go for it, then.”

Admittedly, Axel was still skittish. Every time Roxas shifted caused a spike in nerves, unable to imagine how much worse a disease scare would make what Roxas was going through.

“... At least I still have to be careful, right? You're clear,” Axel said, wrapping his arms.

“It's not leaking out of your fingertips, is it? I still sleep in your bed... sort of.”

“Hm, maybe. I'd qualify my hands as sexual organs.”

Roxas rolled his eyes half-heartedly.

“Not even a full-bodied sigh? I'm losing my touch.”

“... Sorry.”

Axel's eyes flickered up, but he mostly stayed focused on his arms. “What about?”

“I'm pretty shitty in general at the moment.”

“You're going through a hard time,” Axel dismissed. “You get a free pass.”

“That's not making it any easier, though, is it?”

“So? If this works, it's worth it,” Axel replied.

Uncomfortably, Roxas shrugged. “I guess...”

“... You've been doing good,” Axel reassured him. “It's been like, a week, you can make it if you've gotten this far.”

“I don't know what defines 'good'.”

“You haven't snapped and killed someone.”

“That _you_ know of.”

“Then you kept it quiet. Good enough for me,” Axel declared, finishing up with one arm.

“... I heard about a drug... a prescription drug,” Roxas added hastily. “It's supposed to help with the symptoms...”

“What is it?”

“I forget the name... but it's supposed to be non-habit forming.”

“I'll look into it tomorrow,” Axel vowed.

“I don't know how much it costs, though, and there's one other thing...”

Already thinking about money, Axel made a questioning noise.

“They want you to be... crashing, the first time you take it.”

Axel lifted his eyes.

“... I'm not making it up,” Roxas said, defensive under that scrutiny.

“Let me look into it first. Okay?”

“Hey, I can't go anywhere if I wanted to,” Roxas muttered.

“Just want to make sure this won't set you back.” If it was expensive... It _would_ be expensive... But, if there was a way to lessen Roxas's suffering, it'd be worth every penny.

“I'd do fucking anything to make this easier.”

“I know... I would too. Only reason I'm considering it.” Axel finished the second arm.

Hands now free, Roxas rubbed roughly at the bandages, itchy again.

“Hey – grip something, or do anything but that...”

“You don't understand what this feels like,” Roxas retorted.

“Yeah-... Yeah, I know that, but you're ripping your arm open.”

“I don't _care_.”

He didn't back down, despite Roxas's tone. “You will if you get diseased off me.”

“They're covered now,” Roxas said, exasperated. “It doesn't matter.”

“They won't be if you scratch them off.”

“I have to -”

Axel seized his wrists, grip tightening when Roxas reflexively tried to jerk them away. “Anything else, alright? Probably shouldn't scratch at me, same reason. But this is just making it worse.”

Roxas almost snarled. “Fuck off -”

“I'm trying to help,” Axel exhaled, but let go.

Roxas curled his arms against his chest. “You're not my mom,” he spat. “You're not even my _boyfriend_.”

Rather than shrink back or look abashed, Axel just raised an eyebrow.

“ _What?_ ”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Axel asked.

Thrown by the question, Roxas floundered. “... It doesn't. I don't know what I-... Fuck, I-... sorry.”

“... You don't want to be.”

Roxas curled up into himself.

“Trust me, you don't,” Axel insisted, obviously awkward. “If that's... you know. Something you were considering.”

Roxas sighed. “I know. We'd eventually snap.”

“It'd be inevitable. And if I did that to you -”

“It'd be as good as murder,” Roxas finished.

“Not even 'good as'. It would be.”

“... I know.” Roxas's hands spasmed, and he wrapped them tightly around his arms. He didn't scratch.

“But I do-... I like you,” Axel swallowed. “You've got attitude and you're stubborn and you're sexy, and all that's awesome.”

“But you wouldn't ever want to... I get it.”

“I like you best when I'm not killing you.”

Roxas stared at the floor. “I don't know why I said that, honestly.”

“Because you're so in love with me, obviously.”

“You're severely overestimating me if you think I love _anything_ at the moment.”

Axel mustered the tiniest grin. “I know that's not happening.”

“Good.” Roxas tilted his head, lolling it back against the wall for support.

“... You didn't eat that much.”

“That was all I felt like.”

“You eaten anything else?” Axel knew the answer already.

“Not today.”

“Try anyway. You're gonna feel a lot worse without it.”

Roxas gave the sandwich a withering look. “Bring me more water first.”

“'M'on it.”

Slumping to sit, Roxas took another small bite and felt his stomach recoil. Axel came back in no time, putting the glass on the coffee table.

“Your order, sir. On the house,” he said.

“How thoughtful,” Roxas said flatly.

“Hey, don't worry about it. Anything for a pretty face.” Axel paused, watching Roxas take a drink. “Hey, uh... So, at the end of the week I have an appointment, but so does Namine.”

“... You're saying I don't have a babysitter?”

“It'd only be for two hours. I just have to get blood taken, pretty much, then I'm back.” Axel looked uncomfortable.

Maybe Roxas was, too. Maybe he didn't know whether solitude would be better or worse. All the same, he said, “I'm sure I can handle it.”

“... You sure? Maybe one of us can reschedule.”

“It's the end of the week, right? And I'm getting better every day, so...”

“... Yeah... alright.” Axel shifted, considering suggesting that Roxas come with him. Bringing Roxas to a place full of sick people didn't sound like a great idea, though. Deciding he'd keep trying to think of ways to keep Roxas company, he started turning to the kitchen. “I should feed myself...”

“Yeah, you should... do that,” Roxas agreed lamely. The front door's lock audibly turned.

Holding Namine's hand as he chatted with her, Sora pushed open the door, keys in hand and a plastic pharmacy bag on his arm. Kairi was a step behind them, wearing a new coat over the minidress she'd worn to work, her heels swapped for warm, bulky boots.

Namine had filled them in on the potentially awkward atmosphere they'd be coming back to. “We're back...”

No one responded. Roxas put his sandwich down again, the bite having been enough of a second try in his books. Axel had started on the most luxurious meal he could think of, tossing the empty jar of peanut butter and creating a bread sandwich.

Sora removed his shoes and craned his neck, looking for Axel. “Hey, I got your prescription!”

“Oh, awesome – thanks.” Axel meandered from the kitchen. “What do I owe you?”

“I forget,” he replied too quickly, and grinned in perfect innocence. “Just take it off my tab?”

Axel narrowed his eyes, snatching the bag. “You tossed the receipt, didn't you.”

“What? I guess they didn't give it to me!”

“You son of a bitch.”

With a small smile, Namine went to sit again.

“There's some more painkillers for Roxas, too,” Sora told him.

In any other circumstances, Axel might've protested how much money Sora had just spent on other people, but the help was honestly appreciated. Shoulders dropping, he gave Sora a quirk of the lips and ruffled his hair with his free hand. “Thanks.”

Sora beamed. “Don't mention it.”

“Rox? Want a hit? This one's above board,” Axel offered, shaking the bag a little.

Roxas groaned vaguely, having been almost drifting with his head in his hands. Not to sleep, but rather, just hovering in an equilibrium of awful feelings – the closest to relaxation he could get. Kairi came to sit on the couch beside Namine, giving Roxas as much space as possible.

Axel checked his glass and found he'd emptied it already. “I'll grab you more water.”

“Oh,” Kairi spoke up, “these are for you, too, Roxas.”

He lifted his head at last, watching Kairi remove a pair of gloves. The wool was coarse and cheap, but thick enough to trap warmth. He stared at them, uncomprehending.

She waited until the pause had become awkward before kindly explaining, “Namine told me it's important to keep you warm, especially your hands and feet. I'm... sorry it's not anything better.”

“We weren't sure about color, either. Do you like red?” Namine asked.

Quietly, he took them, still not knowing how to process someone giving him something for free. As such, he didn't come off as particularly gracious. “It's fine...”

Munching on three layers of bread, Axel brought the glass back and leaned on the back of the couch. “So how's work?”

“Are you asking _me_ that?” Kairi turned her head.

“Yeah. Regular brand awful, I hope? Or should I make a hit list?”

Kairi almost physically bit down on her tongue to hold back all the things she wanted to say about Riku. “Standard, yeah.”

“I'm learning some new moves,” Sora piped up. “It's gotta be working, 'cause tips are better.”

Axel snickered. “You're the pinnacle of seduction, for sure.”

“That's great,” Namine, always more kind, said. “Are you getting more comfortable with dancing, then?”

“Yeah, I guess. It can be kind of fun but I'd rather be in a Struggle match.” Turning on Axel, Sora made a face at him. “And my dancing's still good enough for _you_ to watch.”

“I work there. I _have_ to watch,” he replied, coming around to sit on the couch with Roxas. He shrank away reflexively, and Axel had to combat a ripple of hurt and exasperation, knowing it wasn't personal.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Sora said confidently.

“Fine, you caught me,” Axel pretended to sigh. “You drive me wild with lust.”

Sora rotated his hips to make his ass bounce a little. “It's not your fault. I'm irresistible,” he declared, and strutted over to the kitchen.

Axel snorted around a mouthful of bread and called once he'd swallowed, “Careful, you'll turn on everyone in the room. Even the lesbians.”

“Us, especially,” Namine said.

Roxas finally picked up the painkillers and tried to rip the package open, fighting to do so without damaging his nails even more. Wordlessly, Namine offered a hand to help, and he handed it over with a frustrated growl.

“What new moves are you even talking about, anyway? I haven't actually been paying attention,” Axel commented.

Sora joined them again, a glass of clear liquid in his hand. Axel doubted it was water. “Nothing big yet. I've got some moves I want to try, but I don't want to end up looking dumb.”

“Let's see them, then,” Kairi prodded.

“Entertain us,” Axel agreed.

Glad for the opportunity to lighten the mood, Sora raised one finger. “One second,” he said, and tipped the drink back to finish it off in one go, needing the alcohol to smooth his movements and nerves.

Axel settled back into the couch, getting comfortable. “I am so ready to be seduced.”

Roxas took his pills without comment.

Gulping vodka down, Sora put the glass aside, the strong antiseptic aftertaste burning the back of his tongue. It was familiar, almost soothing. “Okay, first pretend I've got a shirt with buttons on over this.” He slid a hand back through his spiky hair, then swayed his hips on his way towards the couch.

“Should I pretend there's a pole, too?” Axel asked.

“Unless you want to be my pole.” Sora's grin was unusually wicked.

Axel laughed. “Tough decision – be the pole, or the audience...”

“No one can play a pole like you could,” Kairi nudged him.

Snickering, Sora threw his arms up over his head, crossing them and bringing them down in one unbroken path. They travelled from the back of his neck down his chest, going to his belt line with his hips gyrating all the while. He hooked a thumb in his waistband, the other hand pushing his thighs apart and bending at the knees, changing the motion to long, smooth thrusts.

Axel whistled in encouragement. Playfully, Sora stuck out his tongue and twisted on one leg, swinging the other around with his hips to face away from his audience.

Kairi catcalled as Sora arched his back, pushing his ass out and around, and Namine pretended to fan herself. He drew the motion out long and sensual, then dropped forward at the waist, showing off his flexibility as his fingers danced up the back of his legs.

“Hot,” Axel commented, briefly glancing at Roxas. He seemed to be staring ahead with his gaze somewhere beyond Sora, and Axel couldn't help but think back to the early stages of their relationship. He would've preferred to be getting – or giving – a show with Roxas, but the strain had cooled things down so considerably...

And that whole 'boyfriend' comment – fuck, Axel hoped they didn't have to revisit that...

Sora crawled his way onto all fours, working the floor for some time to emphasize his legs, ass, and strength of his core. He wasn't in the same shape he used to be, but dancing kept him pretty fit in spite of poverty, all the same. Then he came up, pretending to unbutton an invisible shirt.

“ _There_ we go, take it off,” Axel encouraged. “That shirt's not your color.”

“Okay, so this part would have a pole, I'm just gonna skip over that,” Sora said.

“If you come over here, I've got an invisible ten with your name on it,” Kairi offered. Grinning back, Sora took a couple of quick steps over and slid on his knees to her feet. He pretended to take the imaginary bill between his teeth.

“How much invisible cash for a lap dance?” Axel inquired.

“For my friends, the first one's free.” Sora kissed Kairi's hand before getting up. “But I'm not giving you a lap dance. What if you get confused and fall in love with me?”

“ _What?_ ” Axel frowned. “I feel cheated. I demand some lap moves.”

“Someone else can have a lap dance. Kairi...?” Sora aimed the offer at her, but his eye was caught by a raised hand. Namine.

“I'll take one lap dance, please.”

Axel accidentally snorted. Sora faltered.

“Really?” Uncertain, Sora glanced at Kairi, feeling like that might be a violation.

“Don't look at me,” Kairi put her hands up. “The lady wants a lap dance.”

Helpless to a laugh, Axel's shoulders shook. Namine primly patted her lap, and a grin spread over Sora's face ear to ear.

“Okay,” he declared, and sank onto the couch to straddle Namine's lap. Somewhere in that time, he'd caught the hem of his shirt in his teeth and tugged it up to expose his stomach.

Smiling back, Namine tried not to giggle.

One hand gripped the couch behind Namine, sitting an inch above actually touching her. Sora's hips rocked forward in lewd thrusts, visibly creasing his softly toned abdomen.

“Kairi, can I have an invisible twenty?” Namine reached over to her. Kairi made a show of drawing it out of her wallet.

“Of course, dear.”

She mimed accepting the bill to give to Sora, who rewarded her by pulling his shirt over his head with one hand and kissed her cheek.

Amused, Axel tested the waters with Roxas, seeing if he'd accept an arm around him. Not actually wanting to reject him, Roxas swallowed a bout of nausea. His jaw twitched with the effort of keeping his teeth from chattering.

In contrast, Sora was feeling the alcohol now, warmed and buzzing. He unbuttoned his jeans, grinding smoothly as he took Namine's hand and placed it on his waist, encouraging her to touch.

“I thought you weren't allowed to touch the dancers. Am I gonna get kicked out?” Namine kept her hand there, anyway.

“House rules,” Sora assured her. “You're allowed, just don't get too frisky.”

Kairi giggled. “Careful, she's a closet freak.”

“It's my deep, dark secret.”

“I can work with that,” Sora said, and brought both hands up. He crossed them over his head as though they were tied together, moving his hips in slow circles.

Despite himself, Axel's eyes were caught. “He-ey...”

Blue eyes slid to Axel and gazed at him through thick lashes.

Kairi sputtered with laughter. “Did Sora just turn you on, Axel?”

He pushed Kairi's face idly, still watching Sora. “Shh.”

“Oh my god, he is,” Kairi's hands covered her mouth, whispering into them.

Sora leaned forward and draped his arms over Namine's neck, all without separating his wrists. Roxas looked the other way, quietly miserable.

“He's preying on my weaknesses,” Axel accused.

“This is why I couldn't give you the lap dance,” Sora claimed, arching his back to press his ass up. “I'm dangerous.”

“And a traitor.”

“Let's be fair. I'm sure we're _all_ aroused,” Namine diplomatically interrupted. Kairi sat up straighter.

“Wait, how aroused are we talking?”

“Never more aroused than I am with you,” Namine reassured her.

“She _claims_.” Eager to fan the flames, Axel couldn't help but throw that in.

Bordering on indignation, Kairi looked to them all. “We all still agree I'm sexier, right?”

Sora stuck out his tongue. “Maybe you _were_.”

“Oh, shit. You gonna take that?” Axel raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, that is _it_.” Kairi whipped off her coat as she stood. Laughing, Sora got up off Namine's lap.

She unlaced her boots and kicked them off, hiking her leg up onto the couch and leaning her weight into it. Only Kairi knew that Namine alone could see her panties from this angle. Going a little pink, Namine covered her giggles with one hand.

Hands tangling up in her hair, Kairi let it cascade down again and shook her hips alluringly. Nodding in encouragement, Sora worked his jeans down in short, teasing bursts.

Even though he'd all but put them up to it, Axel's mind was wandering again. It felt like it'd been such a long time since he'd even kissed Roxas.

He missed the way things had been during the Christmas party. Whisking him away to suck him off, want radiating from Roxas's every pore.

Like he knew Axel was thinking about him, Roxas shied away and got to his feet, wordlessly heading to the washroom. Not sure if he should follow, Axel swallowed down uncertainty and guiltily stayed put.

He didn't even know what he'd do to help.

Kairi had fallen back to the familiar moves from her stripper days, draping herself on Namine. Both she and Sora had noticed Roxas going pale, but neither said anything, keeping up the levity. Facing away from Namine, Kairi sat in her lap and reached back as if to unzip her dress.

Axel whistled, and she looked over her shoulder.

“So?” Kairi prompted.

Namine was visibly entertained, but shook her head. “It's hard to compare, you're both very talented.”

Kairi gasped. “Excuse me? Do you not see what is literally right in your lap?”

“It's okay to admit when you've been dethroned, Kairi,” Sora laughed wickedly.

“I'm trying to be impartial!” Namine claimed.

“Impartial, my foot. Tell us right now, who seduced you more?”

“Hmm...” Namine considered. She considered for way too long.

“Ouch,” Axel snickered.

Trying not to break and giggle, Kairi rounded on him instead. “Axel?”

“What, I'm the swing vote?”

“You're not dating either of us,” Sora pointed out.

“Although that apparently doesn't count for much,” Kairi grumbled, sitting up and crossing her arms. She was still in Namine's lap. “Pretend you don't know us. Just based on those performances, who would you sleep with?”

Sitting back, Axel pretended to need a second to decide. “I'd have to say... Namine.”

“ _What?_ ” Kairi gaped.

“That wasn't one of the choices!” Sora protested.

“She just got two lap dances,” Axel pointed out. “Not only does she know how to party, but she has _cash_.”

“You want me to be your sugar daddy?” Namine offered.

“I'd be a good trophy wife.”

Sora took on a look of consideration. “Huh... I didn't even think about that.”

Kairi got up and wrapped herself around Sora's arm. “She used to be _my_ sugar daddy.”

“He could have been my trophy wife,” Sora somberly patted her arm.

“Looks like it's just us, now.”

Namine dissolved into giggles.

“Years from now, you'll still be thinking of us and pining,” Axel said.

“Shh, I'm talking to my new wife,” Kairi hushed him. Sora's grave expression broke, snorting.

“I hope you'll at least be happy together,” Namine said, amusement lighting up her eyes and taking Kairi's hand. In love with that look, Kairi beamed, leaning down to kiss her.

“For the record, I was very seduced,” Namine murmured against her lips.

“Dang right.” Kairi glanced at Axel. “Where's Roxas?”

“I'll go check.”

Sora watched Axel head to his bedroom with a pang of worry, but redirected his focus to the girls. “So, what do you think? Should I start using that routine?”

“Yes,” Namine nodded. “You've really improved your dancing, you know.”

“Heh. Thanks. You should come to the club sometime!” Sora said. “You could make everyone jealous with your VIP privileges.”

“I'd love to, if Kairi gets some time off... We could both stop by.”

“It's bound to happen eventually.” Kairi wrapped her arms around Namine's waist. “You're going to corrupt my girlfriend that way.”

“Yep,” Sora said cheerfully.

Hearing them chatter, Axel found the bedroom empty and tried the bathroom next. He found Roxas hugging the edge of the bathtub with one arm, the other hand tightly gripping his hair. His forehead pressed to the cool lip of the tub as he rocked back and forth.

Axel slid in and quietly sat with him. “... Anything I can do?”

Roxas mumbled, “Shave off all my skin and cut out my stomach...”

“... I would, but I need to keep my razors sharp. Leg shaving, you know.”

“Oh yeah. Can't h-have you chafing,” Roxas said, teeth clacking.

Axel didn't say anything for a minute, feeling useless. “Want to lie down? I could help you get to bed?”

Roxas shook his head. “Not sure I'm done... Sorry I keep throwing up all your f-food, it's n-not that bad.”

“All things considered, I'm not offended.”

Exhale weak, Roxas rested his cheek against the porcelain. “This sort of helps.”

Axel wanted to put a hand on his shoulder, but didn't. “That's something.”

Roxas closed his eyes.


	26. Tifa, Hayner, Seifer

He'd have to ditch the cell phone. They could track that.

Money, obviously, he'd keep. The clothes, too. He hated wearing them, but having a change of clothes would be beyond valuable, on the road.

Hayner stuffed his things into the bag, temper blazing. He wasn't going to do it, anymore. _Fuck_ it, fuck everything – fuck Xigbar and his condescending laughter, fuck Xemnas and his death threats, fuck the client he'd just seen who'd done everything in his power to make Hayner feel like shit.

There wasn't enough tip money in the world to make Hayner accept being degraded like that.

Going back to his old apartment wasn't an option, but he didn't think Roxas would even notice he was done. He was rarely home anymore, and the last time they'd even run into each other, Roxas was too high to register anything. That was weeks ago.

He'd probably have to spend his entire life running, if Xemnas's reach really extended as far as he claimed... but he could deal with that. Anything was better than this.

Stooping to tie his combat boots, Hayner felt a surge of spiteful satisfaction in knowing that he'd never have to dress for other people's attention again.

Outside, Tifa had moved on from Loz's room, their argument wrapping up with almost-friendly punches to the arm. She came to the next room down and knocked.

Hayner froze, then kicked the bag under his bed.

“... Hayner?” Tifa knew he didn't have a client; she kept a close eye on everyone's schedules, and she'd seen the last guy leave.

“Yeah, come in,” he reluctantly called back, not willing to snap at Tifa, no matter how foul his mood.

She opened the door with a rueful smile on her face, silky red robe exposing a great deal of cleavage. Hayner wasn't even tempted to look.

“How're you doing?”

He shrugged at her. “What do you think?”

Her eyes went to his boots. “I think you're about to do something foolish.”

Hayner could have tried to deny it, but he didn't think he'd come up with anything convincing. “You're not going to stop me, are you?”

“I think I have to,” Tifa sighed, sympathetic. “... There's no getting very far.”

Hayner held his head high. “I'm good at running.”

She nodded, almost too subtly to catch. “... Alright,” she said, and entered the room to find his bag. “Where are you running to?”

“I don't know,” he sighed. “Just as far as I can get.”

“Problem number one.” Tifa bent over to check under the bed. It was a little insulting that she'd found it so fast. “What'll you do when they find you?”

“Knock out whoever's chasing me and keep running.”

“What's your back-up? They'll have guns. Do you know how to disarm someone?” She hauled the bag out and slung it over her shoulder. He snatched it back.

“What am I supposed to do – stay here? Let some sickos tell me I'm nothing but their little bitch?”

“No. You're gonna follow me, c'mon,” Tifa cocked her head.

Hayner scowled. “Where are we going?”

“Parking lot, but I need to stop at my room first. That cool?”

“... Okay.”

Tifa started down the hall, speaking over her shoulder. “Am I right in guessing you're a brawler? You don't have any martial arts training, do you?”

“No?” Hayner could've rolled his eyes. “You think someone like me has parents who pay for karate lessons?”

“I didn't, either, but I found ways to learn,” Tifa replied.

“So... you're going to teach me martial arts...? For what?”

“Two reasons,” Tifa opened the door to her room, already slipping off her robe. She was wearing nothing but black lace lingerie. “The first being, you've got a _lot_ of anger. When I was growing up, I used to lash out a lot... Learning judo and kickboxing really helped clear my head and calm me down.”

Hayner averted his eyes the minute the robe dropped, more out of habit than actual modesty. “And the second reason?”

“Just in case.” She lowered her voice, pulling on a pair of shorts. “You need more than strength to fight off Xigbar's men. You need skill.”

Surprised, Hayner grinned. “Alright. Let's do this.”

Tifa wrestled a t-shirt over her chest. “Right on! Let's do it,” she declared, leading the way out of the room and closing the door behind her.

A ripple of admiration for Tifa coursed through Hayner, the same sort that he'd experienced the first time they met. She took him downstairs and out to the parking lot, stretching her arms above her head in preparation. Following suit, Hayner flexed his muscles as if testing them.

He hoped these clothes would do. Combat boots weren't especially suited to working out.

“So, I'm gonna start by showing you some katas,” she announced. “They always help me calm down, maybe they'll help too.”

“'Calm' isn't really what I was hoping for,” Hayner grimaced.

“You want a clear head, trust me. It's harder to think on your feet if you start off agitated.”

He knew that from experience. “Show me.”

Tifa took a stance in one of the parking spots, breathing in slow and exhaling loudly and deliberately. Hayner followed suit, but didn't quite get the rhythm of it, used to fighting being desperate and rough.

All the same, she nodded. “You've got the stances just about right – here.” Tifa went over to correct his form, her hands guiding his body from one position to another.

Strangely, he didn't feel any kind of spark when she touched him. Surprising, especially since he definitely found Tifa attractive – and who wouldn't?

Trusting, he leaned into her hands.

“Good... And, breathe in...” She helped him to the next stance. “And out...”

He exhaled, and tried not to dwell on the things his last client had said.

“Right, like that. Try to time your movements with your breath, inhale when you're in motion and exhale when you take a stance. Focus on your lungs and your muscles, don't think about anything but the awareness of your body.”

At least he was finding it difficult to linger on bitter thoughts when he had to keep track of the sequence, consciously moving and breathing in time.

“You're getting smoother,” Tifa praised. “It'll become easy when you can rely on muscle memory.”

“When does it get to be something other than posing and breathing?”

“When you're comfortable and you know them well enough, they become this...” Tifa backed away to show him the stances again, but this time, out of order and _considerably_ faster. It looked like she was fighting off an invisible attacker.

Hayner stared, partly in awe. The other part of him still baffled that he didn't have a groin-centric reaction when that was _definitely_ hot.

Tifa dropped back into a neutral stance, letting out a calculated breath. “... Like that, see? Learn how to apply them in a fight, and you'll have a way easier time getting the upper hand.”

Trying to make sense of how he'd even move through the stances that fluidly, he practiced them again, finding focus more easily with determination to back it up. He lost track of time easily, Tifa running through the katas with him until he nearly had them down.

Unfortunately, they were interrupted before he could say with any confidence that he had them memorized.

“Hate to interrupt,” Luxord drawled, swaggering their way, “but you're both _at work_.”

Hayner sneered. “I don't have a client.”

“Think again, love. Best get upstairs quick.” Luxord looked altogether too pleased.

“ _Shit_ ,” Hayner groaned and nodded to Tifa. “Let's do this again.”

“Definitely. Good luck with your client.” She clapped him on the shoulder. Hayner turned away, heading back inside with Luxord walking with him.

It wasn't until he was inside that he realized Luxord was escorting him.

“You don't need to babysit me, I'm _going_.”

“We can't be certain you'll see yourself all the way there, once you find out who your client is,” Luxord retorted.

“Why, who is it?”

Luxord only smirked. Hating that look, Hayner dragged his feet all the way up to his room.

He saw the familiar coat, first. “Ugh, not _you_.”

“Shut up and close the door.” Seifer was in the bathroom, mopping blood off his face. He was sporting an impressive cut under one eye, but wasn't badly hurt otherwise. Turning around, he came back into the room and tossed the bloody towel at a basket.

Hayner took a wary step back. It wasn't immediately obvious that the blood wasn't Seifer's; aside from the facial wound, he was otherwise unharmed.

But that was a _lot_ of blood. More than one cut would produce.

“What happened to you?”

“Don't freak out,” Seifer said, rolling his eyes. “Just work stuff.”

“Who were you pointing a gun at this time?”

“Do you really want to know?” Seifer asked.

Something in his gut clenched. “Why, do I know them?”

“Probably not. Never will, now.” Seifer shrugged off his jacket. “I'm gonna use your shower.”

Chilled, Hayner swallowed. “Is that all you came here for? A shower?”

“Rinoa's not available, so just... do what I tell you to do.” Seifer went back into the bathroom, starting to remove his clothing.

“Just get your shower and get out.”

“I'm staying the night.”

“Whatever,” Hayner sighed. “Don't bleed on my shit.”

“What'll you do about it?” Seifer tossed his clothes carelessly away and started the water. Hayner didn't answer, going to drop onto the bed.

He stared at the ceiling while Seifer showered, trying very hard not to picture his own blood spattering the alleyway where Seifer had first caught him. He'd almost forgotten... Enough time had passed that he'd distanced himself from the danger.

Hayner could have died that night. Seifer wouldn't have thought twice about shooting him if he thought he had a reason to.

Seifer spent a long portion of his shower staring at the wall. Eventually shutting the water off, he stepped out of the tub and grabbed a fresh towel. He only patted himself dry before coming back to the room without covering himself up.

Determined to ignore him, Hayner said nothing. As if to deliberately make it difficult, Seifer climbed into bed with him, and Hayner exhaled.

“You get all the blood off?”

“Yeah.”

“Are _you_ still bleeding?”

“Nah.”

Hayner didn't know why he asked – it wasn't like he cared. “'Kay.”

Silent for a minute, it almost seemed as though Seifer wasn't going to initiate anything. Then he turned over, and didn't give Hayner any warning before starting to drop kisses along his shoulder.

He tensed. That was too tender, too out of nowhere - “What are you doing?”

“Whatever I feel like. You're paid to do what I want – this is what I want.” His mouth ghosting up to his throat.

“This isn't how we do this,” Hayner shot at him, and braced himself for the surely-inevitable fist that'd come his way.

“Just this once.” Seifer ran his hand down Hayner's chest. “Just once.”

He was slightly freaked out, but also not eager to piss him off this time. “Fine,” he said, and attempted to roll on top of him.

Seifer resisted, pressing him back. “Don't.”

Sullenly, Hayner backed off a bit. “What do you want me to do?”

Unsure and hesitant to say it to _him_ , Seifer ground his teeth and spoke through them. “... I want to take care of you tonight, alright? You laugh, and you lose your tip.”

He wasn't terribly inclined to laugh. He was more concerned, than anything. “Okay...”

Climbing over him, Seifer began exploring his neck, hand resuming its path to massage between his legs. Hayner felt frozen, honestly not sure what to make of this, or if he'd even like it.

It didn't seem to matter to Seifer how into it he was. He was wrestling Hayner's clothes off, irritated with the time it took to remove his boots. Still, he didn't have Hayner do it instead. He plucked at the laces and dropped the heavy boots on the floor.

Hayner almost forgot about Seifer's thing about brown eyes. He locked their gazes every time he remembered to.

The rest of Hayner's clothing found the floor as well, and Seifer wound a hand loosely around his cock. He barely stroked him, the scant stimulation a tease, and he was kissing down his thin, muscled chest. Hayner's body began to show interest, and with any other client, he would have started faking moans to exaggerate it. Seifer was very clear about wanting genuine responses, though, no matter what they were.

As usual, he didn't mind the lack of response. Seifer's teeth gently grazed a nipple.

That broke the silence. Hayner hissed.

Pleased, Seifer sucked, making him squirm.

“Ngh...”

He let up to tease the other nipple, stroking him lightly. Hayner loathed how sensitive Seifer was working him up to be, not used to being this disarmed just from having his nipples played with. Flicking his tongue, Seifer drew back and ran a thumb firmly over the nub, shifting lower down his body.

Hayner bit his lip. “This is fucked up...”

“Shut up.” Seifer dragged his parted lips over his cock, lifting Hayner's legs over his shoulder.

Damn it. Hayner's breath hitched in a way that made him burn with embarrassment as his hips slid towards Seifer.

Rather than continue along his erection, though, Seifer prompted his hips at a higher angle. Then his tongue swirled down sensitive skin until it met the abused pucker of his entrance, circling it, and Hayner went tense all over.

 _That_ was a sensation he didn't know how to process. “Aah-... Wh-what the fuck are you doing?”

Seifer squeezed his thigh, his wordless way of trying to tell him to stop talking. He flicked his tongue thoroughly around and over the skin.

“Gh-...” Hayner shivered. This felt weird, and dirty, but he didn't entirely hate it.

Paying close attention to his shudders, Seifer's tongue shallowly breached him.

“This is so-... goddamn weird,” he hissed and twitched, unusually vocal in his reactions. “Why would anyone -”

Trying to encourage him to stop talking, Seifer hummed.

“ _Aah_ – ngh!”

Seifer curled his tongue as it slipped out, circling his entrance again firmly and pressing it as deeply inside as the muscle could reach. Hayner's legs trembled on his shoulders, conflicted and hot, hips hiked up higher to give Seifer better access.

He gasped. “ _Fuck!_ ”

Another hum, and Seifer was starting to forget everything not relevant to this. Hayner grasped at his hair in desperation, and Seifer adjusted their position to wrap an arm around his leg. He was feeling up everywhere available to him, and Hayner sank into that grip.

Every muscle was tingling. He felt boneless and electrified, all at once, and Seifer only made it worse by lapping at him rhythmically.

“Sei -” Hayner cut himself short of saying his name. “I can't-... fuck-!”

Arousal spiking, Seifer pressed his tongue in and out, destroying Hayner's control of his pride. Jittery, he gripped his hair tighter and let slip, “Nn, god, will you just fuck me already?”

Seifer had no intention of fucking him. Instead, he shifted to wrap a hand around his cock. Pressing helplessly into his hand, Hayner was assaulted by long strokes, Seifer's tongue delving into him at the same pace.

“Ah, come on -”

He only amped up the intensity, determined to get him off like this. Hayner writhed and groaned, unable to get away from sensation. A grip on his hip forced him halfway still.

God, he was so close now, and he just wanted to understand what Seifer was _getting_ out of this -

The hand around his cock tightened slightly, and Hayner jerked into his strong hold, looking down his body at Seifer until he couldn't take it anymore. He closed his eyes and came into his hand with a series of shaky gasps, feeling distinctly like he'd unravelled under the slick tongue still assailing him.

Seifer was only satisfied when he was completely spent. He unwound and let Hayner drop to the mattress.

It took him some time to recover, his core aching from holding himself up and his entire body quivering. Hayner sat up when he was able.

“What was that?”

On his way to wash out his mouth, Seifer carelessly replied, “What? You liked it.”

“That's not the point,” Hayner snapped, reddening. “Why did you do it?”

He didn't reply until he'd spat into the sink and returned to bed. “... Maybe sometimes I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, alright?” Seifer growled. “Don't ask so many fucking questions next time.”

Stunned, Hayner tried to say something clever in response. “Uh...”

“I'm sleeping here. Don't bother me about it.” Seifer sank onto the mattress.

“Sure, whatever,” Hayner said, unnerved, and got up to dress himself.

Staring at the ceiling, Seifer tried to force relaxation on himself. Finished dressing, Hayner sat back down on the edge of the bed.

“Everyone wants to get out,” he muttered bitterly. “Join the club.”

“I told you to stop talking.”

Hayner scowled and got up again, heading towards the bathroom. “Whatever.”

He just felt dirty, now.

It wouldn't have been so bad if his body wasn't still buzzing.


End file.
